Castiel looked up immediately after Gabriel's confession, food forgotten for the time being. "What?" Gabriel sighed and looked anywhere but at his brother.
"I said I was pregnant. It was a long time ago, so it really doesn't matter now, but at the very least I can help you with your pregnancy, since I know what you're going to go through." Castiel shook his head, he truly wished to know what had happened.
"You do not have to divulge your secrets, though I am curious as to how I have no memory of your pregnancy." Gabriel shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. "I can't bring myself to think about it. I don't even have claim to my own son." Castiel looked up from his plate once again, shock clearly present on the angel's face.
"I am sorry." Castiel sounded truly regretful for asking the question, knowing now what a sore subject they were all touching on.
Dean and Sam took their que from Castiel and kept their mouth shut, but Bobby really didn't understand and told Gabriel such.
"When the father of the child wishes it so, they can take your claim away. To the eyes of heaven you have no child, regardless of if you birthed the child. Say, for instance, Dean wished me no longer to have contact with Alana, he could strip me of all rights to her, and I would no longer have the right to even utter her name. I would no longer be a parent to her." Castiel explained, before looking down at his plate, breakfast forgotten.
Castiel stood and emptied his plate in the garbage, before washing his dish and walking towards the living room, Dean and Bobby close behind. They knew Castiel had become upset, thinking about Alana being taken from him, and Dean wanted to be there to comfort him through his fears.
Once the others had left the kitchen, Sam watched Gabriel take a seat at the table and conjure a piece of cake and stare at it as though it held all the secrets of the universe. "I can't tell you his name, I'm not allowed to, but I can tell you that when I had him, I was happier than I have ever been in my life. The pain of the delivery was completely forgotten when I looked at him for the first time." Sam nodded and handed the angel a fork.
Gabriel stabbed at his piece of cake before taking a bite. "I hadn't wanted to have children at the time. It wasn't even supposed to happen. I hadn't found my one true blah blah." Sam laughed at that. "There isn't a one true anything Gabriel." Gabriel nodded. He knew that, but he still had hope back then.
"Anyway, I found myself pregnant, and I wasn't happy. I was more pissed than anything, but I wouldn't kill the baby, it wasn't his fault that I wasn't ready to have him.
"I have to tell you now, Sam, this happened so very long ago. The universe was still being created." Sam nodded and continued to listen, not knowing why Gabriel decided to tell him that. Sam wasn't jealous or anything.
"I had my son not long after that and I was happy for a time. I had him to play with and to raise as I would have liked him to be raised. Then one day…my son was still young, about what you would call a toddler, his father showed up and stripped me of my claim to him. Took him from me…made sure I could never call his name again.
"The universe was created by then, and evolution had taken hold, so I decided to put myself into a sort of witness protection, to get away from them all. I didn't want to see my son daily and be reminded so much of what I couldn't have." Sam nodded and reached over for a piece of the cake that Gabriel seemed to have forgotten about, only to have his hand slapped away. "My cake." Sam laughed. "There's plenty there for me to have a bite, so suck it."
Gabriel laughed, liking how it felt to finally tell someone about his past, and watched Sam take a large bite of his cake. "Hey, that was almost half, you pig." Sam just smiled around the mouthful of cake before standing up to leave. "So what are you going to do about it?" Gabriel was about to answer when a scream of pain caught his attention and with a whoosh Gabriel was at Castiel's side, Sam following close behind.
Castiel was groaning in pain now, holding Dean's hand and swearing that the baby was fine, that it was just his hips enlarging more. Dean looked shaken up but determined to stick by Castiel, not wanting the angel to feel abandoned.
Gabriel sat next to Castiel and rubbed at his hips, helping to ease the tension. Dean looked up at Gabriel appreciatively and continued petting his angel's head, hoping the pain passed soon enough.
While everyone was busy helping Castiel, Sam was watching Gabriel, not in a stalkery creepy way mind you, just analyzing him. The way Gabriel was soothing Castiel, the way he was so worried and indulgent at the same time. The way Gabriel practically jumped every time Cas was in any form of discomfort and the way Gabriel seemed to look at the younger angel with so much love hidden in those eyes and finally the way Gabriel never addressed Castiel by name…
"OH MY GOD." It all clicked into place for Sam and he couldn't help the outburst. Castiel was the first to look up, eyes squinted against the pain, and looking utterly confused. "Yes Sam?" Dean asked, not even taking his eyes off the angel. "Um…sorry…nothing." Sam was still not completely sure, and because of this, didn't want to draw too much attention to himself. Sam would watch this encounter, and if his suspicions were founded, Gabriel would never call Castiel by name.
"That's it little angel, breathe through the pain. They are widening again." Castiel grunted as he felt his hips adjust again. How much more of this would he have to endure?
"Breathe little one, breathe." And Castiel listened, breathing through the pain slowly as his hips finally adjusted to the width they needed to be at, about a good three or so centimeters wider than they had been previously.
Gabriel soothed the younger angel as Castiel drifted off to sleep, still holding Dean's hand. Once everyone was sure that Castiel would sleep for a good long time, Sam ushered them towards the kitchen and continued looking at Gabriel suspiciously.
A cup of coffee later, had them sitting at the table and looking at each other, Bobby wanting nothing to do with the conversation that was bound to ensue, busied himself with research on Ezekiel.
Dean looked at Sam, still curious about his outburst, and Gabriel seemed to busy himself with a plate of conjured pie. Sam was glaring at Gabriel, suspicion painting his features.
"Say his name." Sam demanded bluntly, standing up as though to seem threatening.
"What the hell are you on about Sammy boy?" Sam didn't buy the clueless act.
"I told you to say his name." Dean took a sip of his coffee and looked at Sam.
"Sam what are you on about?" Dean asked, eyeing Gabriel's pie.
Gabriel handed over the pie to Dean, having suddenly lost his appetite. Sam continued to stare at the angel while addressing Dean. "He can't say Castiel's name." Dean looked at Gabriel, wanting to confirm Sam's suspicions. "Is that true?" Dean asked, taking a large bite of the pie.
"NO." Gabriel denied a little too quickly. "I can say his name if I want to." Sam didn't buy it. "Well then, prove it, say his name." Gabriel looked so small as he turned pleading eyes to Sam, begging him to drop the subject.
"I don't...I don't wanna." Gabriel sounded like a petulant three year old, having been denied his favorite treat. "Either say his name or I'm telling on you." Sam said, looking high and mighty with himself.
Gabriel looked sad as he hung his head and admitted defeat. "I can't say it…okay? I can't say his name…I'm not allowed to." Dean choked on his bite of pie before looking up at the arch-angel. "HOLY FUCK." Dean seemed to have figured it out as well as he stood up, pie forgotten, to stare at the angel.
"I KNEW IT." Sam said, looking proud of himself for having put the pieces together in such a short amount of time. "You're Castiel's mother…uh father…whatever." Gabriel nodded and sat at the table, having found no reason to deny it.
"Who's my father then?" It was Castiel, and he looked better than he had before his epically short nap. Gabriel looked up at his son and opened his mouth to say something, but only a squeak seemed to escape. "You cannot say his name either?" Castiel asked but Gabriel shook his head. "I was really wanting to be able to say your name just now..." Castiel nodded and took a seat next to Dean, letting the hunter rub soothing circles on his back. "Who is my father?"
Gabriel sighed, not knowing what else he could do to stall the inevitable. "How do you not know him? He raised you didn't he?" Castiel gave Gabriel a look that said if I knew would I really be asking you? And Gabriel stood, immediately pissed off. "Why that stupid little fucking maggot. That fucking giant piece of decomposing fecal matter. I swear to GOD if I ever see his disgusting face again, I will give him a taste of my grace he will NEVER forget. That mother FUCKING SON OF A BITCH." Gabriel wasn't kidding, it seemed, as his grace flared with anger and his voice raised a notch or two.
Bobby came running into the kitchen and immediately regretted it. "What the hell's going on here?" He asked, and Castiel seemed to be the only one capable of answering him. "Gabriel is my mother, and he is quite upset at my father." Bobby immediately shook his head, not wanting to know, and slowly walked out of the kitchen, back to his study, hoping he wouldn't get dragged into this fight.
"Calm down Gabriel. You're going to hurt someone." Sam said, and was relieved to see Gabriel look at Castiel and immediately calm down.
"Are you willing to tell me now?" Castiel asked, not phased in the least bit at the outburst. Gabriel nodded and sighed. "Your father is Michael." Castiel nodded in understanding. It made sense since he was conceived so long ago, even before the universe existed, which meant, there were only Seven angels in existence at the time, Michael and Lucifer being among them.
If Dean and Sam looked shocked, they didn't show it, they only nodded, wanting to know what had happened. "Michael found me beneath him, after I had Castiel he made it abundantly clear that he wanted me nowhere near HIS son. I did cry, but eventually when the universe was created, I ran. I didn't check up to make sure my son was alright, assuming that stupid bitch would do his job, since he stopped me from doing mine, and besides, I wouldn't have been able to go near my son in heaven, the rules are more strict, I would have been thrown away from him if I even dared go within a mile of my own son.
"I tried to get in contact with you my little angel, here and there, but every time it was a moot point, it was only when he was on earth that I could get close to him. I still have no idea what happened and why Michael refused to raise you, but I swear I didn't know." Castiel nodded, understanding where Gabriel was coming from, and it didn't matter anyway, Castiel was too old for parents anyway.
Gabriel was contemplative for a bit before a question dawned on his.
"If Michael didn't raise you, then who did?" Castiel shrugged. "God." Gabriel looked understanding but still a bit sad. "I wish I could have done it." Castiel shrugged again, not knowing what to say. He didn't mind that Gabriel wasn't there to raise him, he was not neglected by god, and he had never wanted for a thing, though he would have preferred not having to follow orders. He had never liked being a soldier of heaven.
"At this point I only wish you would be able to say my name." Castiel said, standing to leave the kitchen, suddenly feeling so very tired. Gabriel looked up at his son and opened his mouth, forcing words from them.
Castiel's eyes widened before he screamed at Gabriel. "Do not do it." Gabriel was not listening though, as he continued to force the name out of his mouth.
"Ca…" he got out, and his throat started bleeding horribly, making Gabriel almost choke. Swallowing the blood, Gabriel tried again. "Cas…" And this time the bleeding was accompanied by immense pain, which made Gabriel cry out. "PLEASE, STOP." Castiel begged, running over to his "mother". Dean tried to hold back his distraught husband, but even he was worried about Gabriel. Sam looked inconsolable with worry as he ran over to Gabriel, trying a put a hand on the angel's mouth, to prevent him from talking.
Gabriel shook the hand away, glaring at the younger Winchester. "Castiel." Gabriel croaked out before his throat ripped open, blood pouring from the wound. Gabriel fell to his knees then, holding his throat with both hands, looking at the absolute devastation on all three faces, before closing his eyes to the welcoming darkness.