Broken

You.

What are you doing here?

No, no it can't be you.

You can't be here.

You can't. You're not here, you're not real. No.

No.

You're out there god knows where, where we left you and I'm dreaming again.

((I'm dreaming))

I'm dreaming. It's just another torture. You're just another ghost he sends to haunt me. Another phantom that flits and claws through my mind.

Memories scratch through flesh in their wake.

I close my eyes, and I swallow, force some saliva down my ruined throat, to make you disappear, make you go away. Just leave me alone in my misery. My punishment.

Please go away.

Please don't do this to me.

((I'm so sorry))

Maedhros

What?

The wind is howling again, venting its fury against my breaking body, crucified to this mountainside.

Voices crash and shriek and whisper and taunt, coil around me, through me. The wind slices, howling its gibberish, crooning its lullaby.

Maedhros

Just leave me alone. Please. You're not here. You're not real. You're just his ghost.

Maedhros can you hear me?

I moan, deep in my throat, an animal keening, almost a sob. Please, please just/

Maedhros! You're screaming now, a raw dread scrape through your cry. Maedhros, oh god, oh god, Maedhros, answer me, say something say anything!

(Please don't be dead, not now, not now that I've, oh please, please just don't be)

You…you can't…I don't…you sound you look so real but you can't ((we left you)) you're not real ((so far behind)) how can I face you, please just go, just go ((help me)) but you're here you can't ((save me)) and I/

I moan again, thrash against the rocks, weak spasms through my muscles. Scabs on my back rip open, healing skin shredded. Scarlet smears across rusted crimson.

Maedhros, I'm coming!

Horror grapples with panic, coiling in my stomach. No, no you can't.

I need to tell you. I open my mouth; force a breath into my lungs, stinging, as atrophied muscles squeal into life. I try to find the words, cobble my shattered thoughts into coherence, to tell you, to make you understand.

A first attempt stutters, my voice rasping, torn from my lips by the raging wind, flung to disperse in empty air. I try again.

I need to tell you.

My right side is numb, ribs fail to expand. The visceral pleurae lie dead, unmovable.

The tendons snapped long ago.

I inhale sharply, slamming air through my failing lungs. Pain explodes through my side, lances up my arm; every nerve exquisite, every ligament crude. Ending at this iron band.

Riveted through bone and rock. Clotted crimson blooms like mould, filigree drips trace down my arm. Spatter flowers across my chest in shocked red fluid.

You cannot reach me. The path crumbled. You can't, you can't get me, hold me, touch me.

Oh god Maedhros I'll find a way, somehow I can/

NO

I screamed, vocal cords tearing. Panic lends strength to tension, flexion.

And what muscles can, constrict.

And what tears come, flow.

And what words I speak, bleed.

No

you can't come up here,

I can't face you not after what we did, what I did, to you left so far behind don't make me look at you, not here, not like this, I can't go on, please just leave me just save me just go away go where we can't hurt you and oh god I'm so sorry I just want it to stop just want it to end please please just make me stop hurting don't let them take me please I can't I just want it to end but just run go before they find you and they will take you but I'm sorry I'm so, so sorry.

And I realize I'm sobbing.

Just go away.

((Don't leave me here))

Just give me an ending.

((I can't do this anymore))

Rather debating whether to continue this storyline, or start something anew. Any comments / questions / suggestions are always welcome. Hope you enjoyed it. x