Dear Ciel
Dear Ciel,
I'm not exactly sure how to say this, so I'll just spit it out. By the time you read this, I'll be gone. I can't take this pain anymore. I know you'll think that I am incredibly weak, and maybe I am, but I can't go on living anymore, not like this. No one cares anyway. You'll just say "If she was weak enough to commit suicide, then she had no reason living. She was annoying anyway, I won't miss her". My mother, she won't care either way, it'll just make her life easier because she won't have to take care of me all the time. My father would probably not even notice. My brother and Paula would be the only people that would care at all, and Paula would probably be relieved that she didn't have to deal with me night and day. Edward, he'd be sad for a while but he'd be okay. I wasn't sure I'd have the guts to kill myself, but now I know that I do. Since I'm leaving this world anyway, I have some thing's I'd like to say to you. You're incredibly selfish. You cause so much pain for others, without a single thought. You take so much and give nothing in return. You use people as you see fit and expect them to do your bidding. You're spoiled and lazy and selfish, Ciel. I've been through just as much as you have! Losing both my aunts and uncles, having to deal with the constant torment of the thought of my brother trying to steal me away from you. You, who I loved more than anything. You, who was my best friend, my cousin, my lover. I always loved you the most, my whole life. Even when you…changed. I was always there, trying desperately to bring your smile back. I never was able to. All the times you made me cry, all the fights we got into, I loved you through it all. And I got nothing in return, not one real show of affection that I can remember. All you ever did was patronize me and go along with what I wanted because you thought it would be proper and make you look good. I tried and tried to make you happy, but nothing worked. You're too hard to please. We've all gone through a lot, you have no excuse to be so cold. That is weakness. To completely close yourself off from all emotions except hatred, that is a coward's path. It takes true strength to keep loving and being happy in spite of all you've lost. I'm sorry for blowing up like this, but it's what you need to hear. I've been thinking it for a very long time and so I decided to tell you now, since I've nothing left to lose. Goodbye, Ciel. I wish I could say I love you one last time.
Sincerily yours,
Elizabeth Midford