This chapter begins the M rating. I'll be interested to see what Barn Owl Girl has to say at the end… 0.o
(It's not that I'm trying to outdo you, sweetie; I just want to see if I can, is all. XD)
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Luxembourg, 1949…
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The Lost had been dead for a year; and now, it had only been two weeks and a few days since they had been brought back to life. And even though he had been dead all that time, 5 had been certain his brother would find a way to bring them back. 9 was too determined—and frankly, too guilty—to let them go that easily.
They didn't really know the details of his quest yet; his long, arduous journey to haul them back to the world of the living had left him exhausted, even after two weeks. Pleasantly exhausted, but exhausted, nonetheless. Mostly, all he had done recently was sleep, and sleep, and sleep some more. This had worried 5 at first, and made him burn with a curiosity that was unusual in him. What had 9 been through while they had been dead? What had he done to bring them back? Whatever the answers, 9 was entirely too tired to give any.
Still desperately wanting to know what had happened, 5 and the rest of the Lost turned to 7 for answers. Answers which she was leery about giving at first. She had personally stayed out of it, unable to understand most of it, herself. All she knew for certain was that it had an awful lot to do with the talisman and Sources and "the book", as she lovingly referred to Annul of Paracelsus. She didn't care for that knowledge any more than the rest of them did.
But 9 had jumped into it head-first, attempting to make sense of it. And after months of intense study, he had announced that he was going to bring the Lost back to life. 7 had laughed in his face, sure that he was joking, because the very idea was ridiculous to her. But he had left on his quest soon thereafter—because he never, ever joked about things that sounded ridiculous. He would be away from the library for weeks at a time, returning only to leave behind things he had collected when he could carry no more. And then he would stay for a few days, make sure that she and the twins were still alive and well. And then he would leave again.
7 hadn't cared for it in the slightest. It hadn't been much different from how things had been before; the original prospect of not having to be alone anymore had been welcome, and having it disrupted so rudely had been frustrating. But when she was alone with her brother, she was able to say much more; only when she was in his confidence could she openly admit how very lonely she had been.
"I had spent so much time thinking that 9 was out on a wild goose chase, leaving me in the dust to chase a fantasy that stemmed from guilt. I didn't think that he could really bring you back," she said one night. With a wry smile, she patted her brother on the shoulder. "I should have known better than to doubt him, after everything that happened. I'll be kicking myself about it forever."
5 smiled back and placed his hand on hers. "I don't usually like seeing you wrong," he said, "but I'm glad to be back."
7 sighed and looked away from him, casting her eyes at her feet. "I've seen so little of him for so long. We've barely spoken more than a few words in months. Even now that he's home again, here in the same building, he's so tired; I've only really talked to him once or twice since he's been back. I'm not even sure if I know him anymore. I… I've missed him so much."
5 wasn't surprised; in fact, he was pleased. In his former life, watching his sister and his best friend falling for each other had been a thing of beauty. He had always known he would never know what it felt like for himself; romance seemed like a bigger emotion than he wanted to handle. Watching 7 and 9, in all their adorable awkwardness, had been enough for him. And in death, it gave him comfort; even if he couldn't be there to know for himself, they still had each other to lean on—and that was what love was all about, he supposed. He wished he could have seen how their romance panned out…
He had expected that it would blossom into something divine and all-consuming in his absence. Returning to see that it had gone stagnant was disheartening. Darn that 9, why did he always make the wrong moves with this woman? To 5, that was frustrating as well as painful to watch. At least there was still hope for them and their floundering relationship. If 7 felt so poorly about it, he was sure that 9 felt as bad about himself as ever for leaving her alone for so long. It would be fitting…
Oh, how lovely. He would get to watch them fall head-over-heels for each other all over again. He wasn't sure if he was looking forward to it or not, if the ride would be as fun as before, or just as aggravating. Hopefully, without the pressure of soul-sucking mechanical monsters holding them back, the ride would actually go somewhere this time. The world was finally theirs, after all—it was about time they seized it.
One night not too long thereafter, they all sat together in one of their common rooms, just talking and being together. Feeling much better than he had been, 9 had pried himself out of bed to join them. It was the first real time all nine of them had been together in one place. The hero himself had little to say that evening; he just sat quietly with them, enjoying their presence in happy silence. His quest was finally done, his faults were finally behind him, and at last, he was at peace with himself. 5 had never particularly seen him comfortable in his own skin; seeing it now warmed his heart.
Better yet, 7 sat proudly beside him, his hand held tightly in hers. And even though she was more vocal than he was, she rested her head lightly against his shoulder. She was so happy that she seemed to glow.
Things were going to be just fine from now on.
After a while, 7 sat back up and look 9 sternly in the eye.
"Can I have a word with you?" she asked seriously.
"Is something wrong?" he asked.
"No; I just need to see you alone. It will only take a minute."
"Of course," he agreed right away, and let her lead him out of the space.
"We'll be right back," he called to the others over his shoulder as they vanished into the shadows.
5 rolled his eye, not believing that for a second. He didn't expect them to be back for a while. Either a deep and meaningful talk or a loud and uproarious fight was about to occur. But at least it was happening, finally. The tension had been eating him alive all evening.
Nearly an hour passed, and they still hadn't returned. 5 wasn't surprised or worried about this; but when 1 and 2 looked up and realized that their companions were still gone, they became concerned.
"Perhaps you should go look for them," 2 suggested. "They could be in trouble."
"It's doubtful," 5 answered, unwilling to get involved in business that wasn't his. "I'm sure they're fine. If you're so curious, go spy on them yourselves."
"If they're fighting again, they'll need someone to diffuse it," 1 pointed out, "and they both listen to you."
5 slowly considered that this was true. While he still didn't feel right about spying on his friends, the idea that they might be tearing into each other bothered him. Wondering vaguely why he still allowed 1 to sway him so, he ventured into the dark to find them.
He didn't have to venture far, either. He turned a corner and stopped dead in his tracks at what he saw:
He had caught them in firry, passionate embrace, their lips inseparably locked. 7's brilliant white form seemed to shimmer against 9's dark skin, as if she really was glowing. With her knee pressed gently to his thigh, she feverishly caressed his face, his neck, and his shoulders; it was as if she felt doomed to die if she dared release him for even a second.
9 held her close, his arms wrapped tight around her waist. He ran his hands over every inch of her back, and traced the outline of the leather patchwork that hid her number-name; and he softly, sweetly let his hand wander up and down her leg, unable to help himself. Still tired, his movements weren't quite as passionate as hers, but they were still every bit as heartfelt and intense. With every new move he made, 7 moaned quietly and sighed deeply into his kiss, pulling his face a little closer to hers if it was at all possible.
For a long and tense moment, 5 stood stock still, paralyzed by panic. Willing his stupid feet to move, he backed up behind the corner again, thanking every power he knew of that he hadn't been seen. He found himself shaking a little, battling back a sudden urge to scream at the top of his lungs. However, his bewilderment and curiosity quickly got the better of him, and he peered back around the corner in time to see 9 pull back slightly.
"What is it?" 7 asked, her voice husky—she had been crying.
"I just need to look at you," he hushed, panting a little, cupping her face in his hand. "I haven't seen you in so… You're so beautiful…"
Overwhelmed by all the things, she let her face fall wearily into his shoulder, and he held her fiercely as she began to weep again.
"I love you," she whispered shakily, as loud as she could manage.
"Oh, 7—my sweet 7—I love you, too," he whispered back, nuzzling her face. "And I… I know I haven't done a good job of showing that lately. I've been gone for far too long, and I'm sorry. But I hoped… I want you to know, I've done all this because I love you. I always have. From the moment I saw you, I have loved you. So, so, so much. And I always will."
"Don't ever leave me again."
"No," he agreed, snuggling her closer. "Never, never again."
5 turned away, unable to watch or hear any more. His mechanical stomach plummeted painfully to his feet, and he wasn't entirely sure why. Feeling as if he had just witnessed something very illegal, he trudged back to the common room, unsure of what he would say to the others. By the time he did make it back, he felt oddly numb and a little dizzy; it was all he could do to stumble into the light and lean heavily against the pile of books that formed the doorway, with a blank, unreadable expression on his face.
Naturally, his behavior confused everyone; at once, 2 was worried again.
"5? What's wrong? What happened? Where are 9 and 7?"
"They aren't fighting, are they?" 1 prodded, not caring about 5's obvious mood.
"No, they're fine," he answered starkly, staring at nothing in particular. It was probably better not to blurt out everything he had just seen, like he desperately wanted to. He was still trying to process it, himself. He paused for a minute, trying to figure out where to go from there.
"…I'm going to bed," he mumbled, turning sluggishly and stalking into the shadows toward his own room.
During his first few days back in the library, when he had built his room out of stacks of books, he had built the front wall out of a single book, standing upright, so he could use the back cover as a door. In a world where functional, solid doors were scarce, he valued their usefulness and the privacy they provided. He walked into the small, dark space, shut the door behind him, and leaned back against it, not sure what to do with himself next. Never before had he appreciated having a door so much, even though it wasn't hiding anything unusual, really.
5 fell back onto his bed and stared up at the ceiling, trying to sort through his conflicting emotions. His sister and his best friend… He had been so happy for them for so long, pulling for their success, fearing that he would never see what would come of it. But to suddenly see it so close, purely and simply the way it really was… He should have been overjoyed. This was what he had hoped for all along.
Instead, he surprised himself by feeling confused and… angry. Something about seeing them so perfectly happy made him simmer with a rage he couldn't explain. Something about the way 9 had spoken so gently, so lovingly, so full of promise:
"I want you to know, I've done all this because I love you. I always have. From the moment I saw you, I have loved you. So, so, so much. And I always will."
It dawned on him finally, why it vexed him so. This second life was to be seized with the courage he had lacked in the previous one, because this one was full of opportunity. And after all this time, he was ready. Suddenly, he wasn't afraid to love someone so deeply anymore. Suddenly, he wanted to know what that was like for himself, and he wanted it so badly that it burned like a fire inside.
"And why is it them, anyway?" he inquired of the ceiling. "They're so happy, aren't they? The only woman in our world, and she chooses him over me…"
Another vexing revelation made him sit up pin-straight.
"And she's my sister! We could never have been together anyway!" he exclaimed, more put out than ever before. The disappointment was crushing. He flopped back on his pillow and scowled at the ceiling, which wasn't being very insightful.
"I'll never know what that's like…" he concluded dismally. "Now what am I supposed to do with my life? It suddenly seems so empty, so pointless. Why did he bother bringing me back, only to torture me like this?"
The ceiling remained silent, unhelpful as usual. Still struggling with himself, wondering where all this anger and jealousy had come from, he felt sleep begin to overtake him.
Surely, this will pass by morning, he reasoned, letting his eye close slowly. He fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.