JEeesus saves the wighthouse form candid dandelions chapter 5.
disclainer: I dont' own the cheirstittitaon bibbiiliioagoi
the gelded age.
Once upon a time the slaves had just finally been freed by the sybil war. but, even though they were free, they weren't quite free yet. for one thing, it was still legal to enslave people as a punishment, so that was one way to get around it that is unforutnantly still allowed today. but moreover a bunch of rich people got all the money, and bought up everything that can conceivably be used to make anything with it. they were called robber barons, and also called captions of industry, because captians are pirates. but they weren't actually pirates because they didn't wail the sea, but they were mean like pirates.
they also frequently traded with the pharaohs of china. china sent them gold in return for prisoners. they melted the gold and pasted it on every corner to fool everyone into thinking that everything was better than it was. people would look at the gold conrers and feel a little better even though their lives were pretty sucky and terrible honestly, what with 16 hour work days digging for coal and not in a fun way like on minecraft. it was horrible and there was a 90$ chance of a cave in falling on your head and killing you. and they made kiddos do it. and they didn't make much although i don't know how much because money was worthless back then like you could buy food for a month on like a quarter I've heard and a dress that costs $5,000 dollars today would cost like $5.00 bak then. which sounds pretty cool but jobs also paid a lot less like i just said.
and all of this coal was being dug to feed the power of one man. VADNERBUILT THE MIGHTY TRAIN LORD! new york refused to bow to him, so he sent his mighty train to attack new york!
"CHEW CHEW!" said his mighty train as it's metal teeth ripped through a skycrapper and it chewed it up! soon the city of new york had no choice but to bow to vaderbilt the mighty train lord!
but all was not lost. for there was one president with the sheer strength of will to take on vanderbilt the mighty train lord. and that was president was elected around the same time. AND! HIS! NAME! WAS! PRESIDENT! THEODORE! ROSEBELT!
flying into the scene because he wasn't afraid of no gravity, he flipped onto a nearby skycrapper and put up his dukes! "CHEW CHEW!" said the beast, and tried to bite president Rossbelt, but President Rosebelt caught it's teeth in his hands, forcing the Train to it's knees.
President Rosepelt punched the train, knocking it out. then he wnet to vadnerbilt.
"I'm going to need you to pay for the damages to this fine city. It's only reasonable, since your train got loose and destroyed it," said President Rosebelt.
"I ain't paying jack shit!" said Vanderbilt, so President Rosebelt pulled out his big stick and beat him to within an inch of his life with it.
"I really believe that you should pay for the damages to this fine city," Rosebelt persuaded with his patented big stick diplomacy.
"Yeah, upon reflection, I believe you're right," siad AnakinSkywalkerbilt wisely.
And they say that even death feared Rosebelt, but one day his wife died. so Rosebelt went with death to the afterlife willingly.