I'm not going to fuss and fret over the page length anymore. Ultimately, it's the word count that matters. We've broken 6,000 today! Not bad! :D

I've seen several covers of a certain joke in this fandom: "Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cuz 7, 8, 9! Hahahahahaha!" None of these covers are particularly good, and most of them make no sense. And I have promised a certain young lady that I would do a cover of my own, and make it out of awesome. There will be, er, marital relations in this chapter; so let me remind you, this story is rated M for Mature for a very good reason.

Also, there will be drunkenness and anti-jokes in droves. Read on, if you dare. ;D

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Emboldened

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It was early, early in the morning. Her operation was to take place later in the morning; but for now, Pi was wide awake. 2 had a habit of waking up incredibly early, and she wanted a chance to speak to her master alone, before anyone was awake to see her. She took the onyx sphere from her body cavity, and felt Alpha's voice ring impatiently in her head.

Pi, what happened last night was a disaster! Never before have you lost a target, and now you've had to wipe not one, but two memories in the space of a week! How have you allowed this to happen?

"I'm not sure," she grumbled, deeply shamed for failing her master. "Never before have my targets been so resilient. The other clans are nowhere near this surprising."

What has stopped you these past few days from snatching that idiot 5, like I told you to?

"Alpha… I can't. I just can't."

Why not? His voice demanded angrily.

"There's something about that boy. Something in my very being won't allow me to be interested in him. He would do some terrible thing."

That boy couldn't do anything terrible if he tried. But if you insist, I suppose there's nothing I can do to force you, from this distance. What do you propose we do now, then, with your female fickleness getting in everyone's way?

"The doctor is operating on my leg today. He gets so close, even for a simple checkup; he's a very snuggly, close sort of person. I may not even have to seduce him, for the spell to take root."

I thought you said he was unsuitable. You said he has too much love in his heart. A weak sacrifice won't hold us for even a month, girl.

"I can take my chances. It's worth a try. We may be surprised—none of these people are what they seem."

And if you fail again?

"…I can keep trying."

With an aggravated snap, Alpha's connection broke. Being such a failure made Pi feel a little sick with herself. A fleeting thought of her sisters passed through her mind, and she hoped that Alpha wouldn't take out his anger on them.

They'll be alright, she assured herself. Delta will take care of them. She won't let him hurt the others. I'm sure of it.

She sat awake in bed, thinking about nothing in particular for another hour and a half. When 2 came in—punctual, as always, with his tool kit slung over his shoulder—he seemed surprised to see her up.

"You're up awful early," he noted. "Having trouble sleeping?"

"I suppose you could say that…"

Seeing that she didn't care to talk about it, he gave her his usual comforting smile. "Ready to get back on your feet, child?"

Pi stifled an annoyed groan, knowing that 2 could never be broken of that habit. He called everyone by some diminutive, even his brother, even the heroic Bearer. What exception was she? She nodded her head vigorously, instead. He set down his tool kit and began searching for the things he needed.

"You'll still need perhaps a week to fully recover, Pi; but the operation itself will be a simple affair, and you shouldn't be nervous. An hour is all it takes."

Good, she thought, hoping her slyness wasn't visible in her sweet smile. That's all the time I need.

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Something was still nagging in the back of 1's mind. Somewhere, something was up. Something he wasn't seeing, or couldn't remember. Something that should have been there, and clearly so, but was just tantalizingly beyond his grasp. Whatever it was, all he knew was that it was pointing directly at Pi. And he did not care for it, not one bit.

Suppose 6 knew what it was? Suppose he had, all along? If so, 9 had him alone today, and was drilling him for information. He had always been glad to listen to 6, when the rest of them had passed him off a crazy. That fearless leader of theirs would get to the bottom of things.

Therefore, as annoying as it was to be missing something, 1 chose not to be worried about it. Still, it forced him to pace around in the common room, lost in thought, trying to remember what it was he had forgotten. The common room was uncommonly quiet, today; he was the only one there, for a change. The common room was the center of their small community, and usually alive with some sort of activity. The twins playing chess. 9 studying by the fireplace. 7 sketching on the sofa. 5 and 2 building something, their tools scattered all across the floor…

Where was 2, anyway? 1 could guess what the others could be doing with their free time about now. But 2 spent most of his free time here, building some mechanical thing or another. He had operated on Pi's leg earlier in the morning, but it was a simple procedure that usually took less than an hour to complete. The operation ought to have been long over by now, and he ought to have come straight to resume his work from the previous day.

So where was he?

1 didn't normally worry about his brother—he had cared very little for him, in the past. But the nagging suspicion he felt so strongly made him feel concerned. He couldn't explain why, but… For the first time in his life, he was suddenly very worried. Along with everything else that was wrong, something was definitely not right. Glad that no one was around to question his leaving, he stalked out down the hall toward the room that he shared with 2.

He opened the door to their room and stepped inside. Wow, he had never been so relieved to see his brother, sitting on the edge of his bed, solid, whole, and very real. But he looked numb, sort of shaken, and was staring blankly at the wall, or past the wall at nothing in particular. He didn't even seem to notice when 1 came in.

"Where have you been all morning?" he asked, trying to hide his concern behind his usual, demanding tone of voice. To this, 2 looked up in surprise, noticing him for the first time. But, seeing who it was, he relaxed, shook his head vaguely, and turned back to the wall without an answer.

"2… Are you alright?" This time, he couldn't help sounding worried. He was, and there was no way around it.

"Um… No…" the older brother mumbled, and wrapped his arms around himself as if he were freezing.

1 couldn't believe how truly, honestly worried he was. He walked to his own bed and pulled the blanket off the top. "What's the matter with you, then?"

"I… I don't know. I'm just… I feel… cold."

As he finished speaking, 1 threw his blanket around his brother and sat down beside him. 2 pulled it tight around himself and sighed heavily.

"…Thank you."

"What have you been doing all day?" 1 asked, feeling his brother's forehead. No fever. "Sitting here, staring at the wall for hours? You'll lose your mind that way."

"1, something's happened… And I don't know what it is, exactly. It happened so fast, I… I don't think I caught it in time. And now I'm just sitting here, wondering if it even happened at all."

"What do you suppose it is?"

"I couldn't begin to tell you."

He could sympathize with that. So much so, he reached up and patted his brother on the back.

"So, it's happened to you, as well."

2 slowly looked up to face him. "What do you mean?"

"It's already happened to me, a few nights ago. And it happened to 8, just last night. And now, it's happened to you."

While 2 processed this, 1 rested his face in his hands. "All I know is that it's got something to do with that girl. Whatever is happening to us, it is her doing. I don't know how she's doing these things, or why. But there is something, deep inside me somewhere, that keeps whispering her name as a warning. It wants desperately for me to remember something about her… But I can't. Whatever it is, it simply isn't there to be remembered."

"Well… What do you think we should do?"

To that, 1 could only shake his head. "I don't know… I don't know."

"You don't have to figure it out on your own. 9 is our leader now, and he'll take care of us. He'll make the right decisions."

"It isn't 9 I'm concerned about."

2 understood perfectly what he meant, and he wilted sadly. "He's being such an idiot," he lamented. "Can't he see how much he's hurting us?"

1 scoffed and rolled his eyes. "That boy of yours would jump off a cliff, if he thought it would impress Pi."

2 surprised him by scoffing as well. "It's about the only thing he hasn't tried yet…"

"I heard a week until she can walk out of here on her own, yes?"

"Yes. Hopefully, sooner."

"Seven days it is, then. We've spent a year in the Netherworld. How hard can it be, then, to weather a single week?"

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A few days had passed, and Pi had definitely noticed a change in her hosts. Now that her leg was mended and regained feeling, she could walk around without help, say for a crutch. Her leg was still very sore, and she found that putting too much pressure on it sent lightning bolts of pain coursing through her entire left side. But she was mobile again, and the soreness receded slightly with every day that passed. Soon, she would be able to limp around without the crutch. And then even the limp would fade away.

In the meantime, most of the fifth clan was making a very large point of avoiding her. If she had still been stuck in bed, she might not have noticed. But now that she could go wherever she wanted, she usually found herself in a room alone. Something had definitely changed with them. It was probably their stripy Prophet. He had probably blabbed everything he knew about her, and now they were all terrified to get anywhere near her. And that was aggravating. How was she supposed to pick out a new target now? In spite of their smallness, she had thought to perhaps target the young twins—both of them at once. But she simply couldn't get close to them, now.

Perhaps, when she could ditch the crutch, she could move after them better. They skittered around like insects, always just out of her reach. And it seemed that the Prophet was always hovering around them, standing watch. If only she could move quickly, she could lure them away from him and trap them easily. They were only children. How difficult could it be to ensnare mere children?

Now it was evening, and Pi was sitting alone in her bed in the infirmary. Even 5 had left her, to spend some time with his brothers and sister. He said they were worried about him for some reason, and wanted to reassure them that he was perfectly fine. Her sweet ruse had smiled and said she hoped he'd have fun with them. But her true self wanted to scream in his face that she didn't give a damn. At any rate, he was finally gone for a while, and she finally had some space to breathe. He hadn't given her a moment's peace in nearly three days. It was about time…

She thought about taking out her sphere and contacting Alpha, but he already knew what was going on with them. And if she chose to contact him, she would only admonish her for still not having a sacrifice secured yet. The other day when she had failed to catch 2, Alpha had yelled at her so cruelly that he made her cry. Pretending to be her sweet and optimistic false-self had been very difficult that day.

After a while, she heard footsteps in the hall, and voices carrying on a conversation, accompanied by 10's babyish babbling.

"Are you sure it's alright for her to be away from us for all night?" asked 7's silky voice.

"Certainly," answered 2's voice. "If she's old enough to be communicating with us, I dare say she's old enough to be away from her parents, so they can spend a few hours as a married couple. Besides, she'll be with 1 and me. And we've been dying for some time with our grandbaby."

"Even 1? Really?"

"Babies are enchanting creatures, my dear. He can't help himself."

"Well, if we can trust anyone, it's you. And I suppose we could use some time to be like normal adults—it would be the first time since before she was born. Thank you for looking after her."

"It's no trouble at all, 7. What were you and the boys planning on doing tonight, anyway?"

To that, 7 laughed a bit devilishly, as if she were up to something. "99 positive charges on the wall."

"Aha—you take one down, pass it around, 98 positive charges on the wall. I see. It's been a while since you've used a magnet. Will you be alright?"

"I can hold my charges just fine, thank you. And anyway, a positive charge doesn't affect me like it does them. And negatively charged magnets are so hard to come by."

"Thank goodness for that. A drunken stupor doesn't suit a lady, and it most certainly does not suit you, my dear girl. Just be careful, and look after them, if you can."

"I will, don't worry."

"That's my girl. Have fun, and enjoy yourself."

"Thank you again, daddy. We'll see you in the morning. Goodnight, my little love. Now you be a good girl and behave for granddad, okay?"

And with that, the conversation ended, and Pi heard them walk off in their separate directions. She suddenly couldn't help but feel a little left out. She'd have loved to get her hands on a quick positive charge, herself. And the chaos that would surely ensue would have been amusing to watch. But there was no way they would allow her into the common room to join them, so she resigned herself to a quiet, uneventful evening in. She lay back in her bed and shut her eyes, planning on sleeping dreamlessly until morning. Sleep was her drug of choice, anyway.

It might have been a few minutes later—though it was probably more like an hour or two—when she was suddenly woken by someone shaking her gently.

"Pi? Pi, come on, sleepy, open those pretty eyes," slurred an all too familiar voice. She slowly opened her eyes to see 5 hovering a little too closely over her, with an unusually doofy smile on his face.

"What do you want?" she groaned, pushing him out of her face.

"Oh wow, Pi. We're having just entirely too much fun. Oh, Pi, you've—you've gotta come and do this with us."

Oh geez, the guy was even more annoying when he was drunk. Pi considered shooing him out and going back to sleep… But if the others were as drunk as 5 was, maybe she could grab a few charges without them noticing her. Who knew? This might even be her golden opportunity to nab the Bearer.

If she could do that, the coven could live off of 9's substantial soul for months and months, maybe even a full year or more. And Alpha wouldn't be so angry at her for biding her time so long. How could she pass this up? She all but leapt out of bed, grabbed her crutch, and hobbled down the hall as 5 stumbled around alongside her in the dark.

I hope you tripped a bunch of times on your way to the infirmary, you oaf.

The common room was lit by the fireplace, and only three others were present. 8 was holding a big horseshoe magnet in one hand, but was passing it around to 7, who sat on the floor beside 9, and they were all laughing like idiots over something. Pi wondered vaguely what could be so funny; but when you're as drunk as they clearly were, death could suddenly become the funniest thing in the world.

"Hey, look everyone," 5 announced loudly, throwing his arm around her shoulders. "I found another friend!"

"Yay!" 7 sang, holding the magnet over her head for a few seconds. "Friends are simply terrific! Who'd you find for us?"

"I brought Pi!"

"Really? That's great!" 9 cheered as loudly as he could. "Pie is delicious! We could always use some pie around here." He slumped over, thumped his head down on his wife's shoulder and whined, "7, why don't you ever make us any pie? Why is that?"

"I'm not your babysitter," she retorted, all but smacking him in the face with the magnet. "What do I look like to you? Some silly housewife? Make your own pie!"

He took the magnet from her, and turned back to his brother before taking his turn. "5, you tell that pie to sit down and have some fun with us for a bit—and maybe we'll all eat it later."

There were several alarming double entendres in that statement, but of course he was too far gone to realize it. 5 hauled her along to a vacant spot beside him and she carefully sat down, mindful of her leg. Now she wasn't sure if she wanted to take any charges she was offered. These four would be way more amusing to watch if she was completely sober.

"Oh, 5, you missed it," 9 slurred, waving the magnet around instead of passing it forward. "My silly wife, she told the best joke while you were gone!"

"Tell it again, sissy," 8 bumbled with puppy dog eyes.

"Who are you calling sissy, sissy?" she vollied. "5, what's red and smells like blue paint?"

"I don't know, 7," he answered in a sing-songy voice. "What's red and smells like blue paint?"

She snickered at herself before answering, "…Red paint!"

And just like that, all four of them dissolved, laughing uproariously. If anyone was asleep in the building, Pi was certain that they were wide awake, now. And it wasn't even that funny. It was kind of stupid, actually…

"Okay, okay, I've got one," 9 interrupted. "How many Stitchpunks does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

"How many?" 5 asked.

"Only one! Me!"

That must have meant something to them, because this time there was a knowingness to their drunken laughter. But Pi didn't get it. Maybe if she did take a charge or two, their humor would make more sense. She snatched the magnet from 9—who didn't even try to fight back—and raised it briefly over her head. Now 8 spoke up with a dumb joke of his own.

"Hey, you guys: if you're jet skiing, and the wheels fall off, how much dirt does it take to cover a doghouse?"

There was a stunned silence from his siblings. That made no sense, even for a drunk joke.

"Blueberry pancakes!"

As if it explained everything, they all began to laugh again. And so the cycle of unfunny jokes continued. But as Pi continued to take charges with the rest of them, it did seem like the jokes became a little more funny.

"What's white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refrigerator!"

"How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family!"

"Why'd the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus!"

"Why'd the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side!"

Finally, Pi began to realize what it was. They were anti-jokes—they were funny because they weren't really funny at all. They were obvious and dark, and many of them involved people being maimed or killed in some way. Her true self found it very enjoyable, indeed. In fact, she thought of an anti-joke of her own.

"Why couldn't Sarah tie her shoes?"

"I don't know. Why couldn't Sarah tie her shoes?"

"She had no arms. Knock-knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not Sarah, she has no arms!"

Once again, uproarious laughter. And at her anti-joke! She felt so proud of herself. Then she passed the magnet to 5, and it was his turn again.

"Okay… Here's a good one. Why was 6 afraid of 7?"

On the other side of the circle, 7 shook her head a little too hard and nearly fell over. "No, no, no, 6 isn't afraid of me. I'd never do nothing to hurt my baby brother," she slurred.

5 ignored her protest and concluded, "Because 7, 8, 9!"

For the first time, no one was laughing. Which was ironic, because it was the first joke to make any sort of sense. 8 looked incredibly confused, not understanding how he had gotten involved in this joke. 9 looked slightly less confused as he tried to puzzle it out. But 7 looked absolutely horrified, and a little angry.

"That's not true!" she shouted. "That's disgusting! How dare you!"

At first, Pi wasn't sure why 7 was getting so upset. It seemed like clever, harmless wordplay. But the more she considered it… 7, 8, 9… 7 ate 9? Her husband…?

Oh. In that context, the clever wordplay was suddenly transformed into a very dirty joke. Poor, stupid, drunk 5 probably hadn't meant for it to be that way. It was absurd, but totally hilarious! Pi couldn't help doubling over, laughing so hard she could barely breathe.

"Stop laughing!" 7 demanded, jumping up and stomping her foot on the ground. "It's not funny! It's none of your business what I do with my own husband!"

She was swaying back and forth like a ship. It was likely that she was the most drunk of all of them; but equally as likely that she wasn't, with blind rage exacerbating her condition. 9 climbed slowly to his feet and grabbed her by the shoulders, steadying her slightly.

"I believe my lovely wife needs to lie down," he said with only a slight slur. In fact, seeing that she could barely stand up, he picked her up, threw her over his shoulder and carried her out, despite her very loud and angry protests. It seemed that 9 wasn't quite as drunk as he had appeared.

Once again, Pi couldn't help herself. She was very tipsy, and felt too much like an accepted part of this group to let one more comment go unheard.

"Goodnight!" she called after them. "Have fuuuuun!"

Somewhere down the hall, she heard 7 yell something furious back at her, but she couldn't hear exactly what had been said. She didn't' have to; she was sure she could guess. She didn't care if it didn't fit her façade, she chuckled cruelly to herself. What fun that had been. She leaned back on her hands and looked over at 5. For the first time, she gave him a very genuine smile.

"That was funny, 5," she giggled. "She doesn't have any sense of humor, huh?"

He gave her a surprised but pleased look. "R-really? You thought that was funny?"

"Yes! It was hilarious! It's not your sister's fault, if she can't take a joke."

"Why was she yelling so loud?" he slurred. "What did I say?"

"Oh, don't think about it too much. You're too drunk."

"Ha, yeah. So…. You really think I'm funny?"

"Huh… sure, why not?"

Even though he was too slammed to stand up, the smile he gave her was actually quite charming; he almost looked sober. He slowly leaned closer to her, and at first she thought he was just too dizzy to hold his head up. But she realized just in time—he was leaning in to kiss her. Part of her leapt at it, dearly craving affection after the things that Alpha had said to her lately. But another part of her recoiled violently, and she turned her head away. She could imagine the utterly disappointed look on his face; the part of her that had recoiled relished it.

Oh no you don't, you dolt. Not now, not ever.

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By the time they reached their bedroom, 7 had stopped struggling against him. Instead, she hung limply over her husband's shoulder, her face buried in his shoulder blade, looking dejected and humiliated. And very drunk. She looked exactly as drunk as she was. 9 wasn't sure how or when her delirium had grown so much deeper than his. He found that he didn't need to take many charges to start feeling silly—he could get drunk watching his family, and naturally join in.

And 7 wasn't nearly as slammed as she appeared, either; she was just very upset. And he still wasn't entirely sure why. He had only realized the double meaning to his brother's joke as he walked down the hallway. And, in hindsight, he did find the wordplay kind of funny. Inappropriate and entirely none of his business, but funny, in a funny kind of way. After all, what were the odds?

Still, not a lot to be so worked up over... Oh well. 7 had a tendency to overreact when she got upset. He sort of couldn't help but love it as much as he loved everything else about her.

When they were back in the privacy of their own room, he carefully set her down on her feet—and she nearly toppled to the floor. Wondering why he hadn't put her down on the bed in the first place, he caught her and held her upright.

"Why is he being so stupid all the time?" she demanded, pouting like a child. Before 9 could answer, she babbled on, "I'll tell you why—he's letting that girl Pi go to his head. I don't get it. She's not that cute. What's she doing to that thick head of his, anyway?"

All legitimate questions, which he didn't have the presence of mind to ponder. "I don't get it either," he agreed. "You're much prettier than Pi. You're amazing, amazing—amazingly pretty."

All traces of anger fell from her like water—next thing he knew she grabbed him by his zipper tab and pulled his face against hers, kissing him with more passion than he had would have expected, if he'd had a chance to think about it. And at this point, there was no choice but to melt right into her, as drunkenly, voraciously passionate as she was. He fell back against the door, pinning it shut under his weight as he pulled her closer and closer. He ran his hands over every inch of her soft, sweet self that he could reach. Her skin felt so good under his fingertips, silky, smooth and warm; all of his senses felt sharpened from the charges. So was his sense of touch equally sensitive, as her hands found their way over his shoulders, his chest, up and down his back and sides.

And she held him so tight, until he almost couldn't breathe, caught in her strong, inescapable grasp. He couldn't imagine he would ever be able to hold her that tightly. But what better way to die, than to suffocate in the arms of his warrior wife? He was perfectly fine with it. But he was also too drunk to truly care. For now, there was only him, her, and whatever happened next. It was sure to be something of incredible pleasure and beauty. He couldn't think of a time when they had been so wild together—if he could have honestly considered it.

As suddenly as she had glommed onto him, 7 pulled away and held his zipper tab loosely in her hand. For a long, silent moment, she stared at it thoughtfully. Then she looked at him with bleary but wild eyes.

"9… Lt me try some things."

Suddenly a little nervous, he gulped hard and asked, "What things?"

"Just some things," she answered sweetly, stroking his zipper tab with her thumb. "You'll like it—we both will. Trust me."

The gears began to turn in his dizzy head, and he realized with a start what she was hinting at. "Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no," he babbled and gripped her shoulders, holding her back from him a bit. "You, you don't have to do that. Just 'cause 5's being a weird doesn't mean you have to be."

"I'm not being a weird, I'm just being your wife. I'm your wife, and I wanna play with you. Let me play with you, 9, let me do it!"

""No, 7, no," he slurred. "We, no. We shouldn't do this."

"Why not? There's nothing wrong with it—we're married."

That was true enough, but… Still. It seemed strange and weird, and kind of wrong. But that also served to make it more intriguing. 7 made that thoughtful face again and reached up to run her finger around his eye rim. She slowly let her fingers drip down his face, over his eye, his nonexistent nose, his lips, his chin. It was like she held the powers of fire and lightening in her fingertips.

"You don't… You don't want it, you don't want to try," she mumbled disappointedly.

"No, no, I… I do want it. I do, really."

"Then shut up and let me do it, while we're still drunk."

Well, that made a lot of sense, he supposed. Best to make stupid choices while alone and unable to help themselves. And if she wanted to use those stupid choices to be her adventurous self and please her husband at the same time, who was he to deny her genius?

She took his brief hesitation as the agreement that it was and took a deep, excited breath. Then she lowered her head to his chest, pushing him back against the door as she caught his zipper tab in her mouth. She slowly lowered herself to her knees, dragging the tab down by her soft lips, one painfully pleasant click after another.

9 was paralyzed by the sensation that overtook him. It snatched all his breath away and left him gasping for air. He had described it as a waterfall before; it felt like all the waters in the world had come crashing down on his head. It was simply amazing. He thought for a long moment that he would cry from sheer joy.

Once she reached the floor, she braced her hands on his hips and sat back, breathing hard as if she had felt everything she made him feel. She ran her thumb down the jagged edge of his open zipper, sending icy tingling tearing through him like a stampede. He had no idea how he was still standing, pressed so close against the door that he felt like he was a part of it; he felt like he should have fainted.

"Here we go," she whispered.

The next thing he knew, her whole head was inside his body cavity, and it was that magical green wire—the one that led directly to his heart and soul—caught between her nonexistent teeth. The intensity returned tenfold, and it took everything he had not to struggle against her. He would never have guessed that the difference between her soft lips and her smooth, hard fingers could be so great.

Still, it wasn't the same. Even through the haze she had created, he missed his 7. He couldn't hold her close, return her sweet kisses, or look into her heavenly eyes. In fact, he could barely see anything, and it frightened him, just a little. He would never have imagined a sensation this great was possible at all—maybe because it shouldn't be.

It could have gone on for hours, or only a matter of minutes—he had lost all concept of time. But eventually, for reasons he couldn't begin to think of, she pulled her head out and sat back, panting as if she had run a race. Still pressed against the door, 9 felt his knees buckle like jello, and he sank to the floor. He couldn't think of trying to move his limbs; they felt as reliable as his knees. But his head felt amazingly clear, free of the charges that had made him so dizzy before.

He slowly looked up at 7, who slowly looked up at him with a girlish smile. Their adventure together seemed to have cleared her head, as well.

"See? I told you we'd both like it."

He couldn't help himself, even if he felt like a beached octopus flailing around. He leaned forward and gathered her up in his arms, hauling her into his lap and cuddling her close. He kissed her face all over, until it tickled enough to make her laugh. Then he leaned back ever so slightly and gazed into her bright, wide eyes. He had her back. And it was the best thing he had felt all day.

"I feel so close to you right now," he whispered, caressing her face. "The way you make me feel… No one else could ever do that. Ever."

She snuggled into his shoulder and gave him a winning smile. "I could never trust anyone else with this. But I trust in you, my 9. I love you."

"Oh, my 7, my 7, I adore you," he answered, nuzzling her face. He placed his hand over hers and held it to his heart. "Hey. That was… It was amazing. Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me. I'm your wife. It's what I'm here for."

"No, no. There is so much more that you are here for," he insisted. He raised her fingers to his lips for a long, gentle kiss, and then brushed the back of her hand against his cheek.

"Once again, thank you. Just… Thank you, for being your wonderful self."

To that, she sighed deeply, contentedly, and sank into his warm embrace.

"You're welcome."

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Author's Notes…

Oh yes, I DID just go there. (devilish grin) You can thank Barn Owl Girl for this prompt. I don't know if this was… exactly what she was expecting, but I did promise her a punchline to what can suddenly become—yes, indeed!—a very dirty joke, in the right company.

Not sure who's going to get it next… Probably the twins. (dun-dun-DUUUUUN!) And we are probably safe from anything this intense for another several chapters. Suffice it to say, 5 is an idiot. But you already knew that. ;)