Ok, press "start", let's continue…

Asbel turns to Malik and asks, "So, you're sure King Richard knows where this remedy is?"

Malik replies, "Absolutely! We have to go see him because the treasure chest is said to be hidden in what's known as the 'royal stash.'"

The cabin goes quiet, when suddenly, a growling can be heard. Everyone turns to Cheria as she hurriedly sprints back to the restroom and jump-kicks the door open as if she were Jackie Chan.

A couple seconds pass and the crew can hear the noise emanating from the restroom area, as it is quite small back there and the walls are relatively thin. Sophie pinches her nose and says, "Asbel, is Cheria going to be ok?"

Asbel grimaces from the smell—which has ALREADY made its way into the cabin—and replies, "Yes, we HAVE to believe that, Sophie! Isn't that right, Captain?"

Malik replies, "Indeed Asbel. Damn—do we have any SPRAY in here? It sounds like someone dumping a…a…fucking bucketload of coins into a fountain, or something. UGH!"

Asbel sighs and says, "Yes, I know, I know. Cheria's gonna' have to burn those panties after this is over!"

The cabin goes quiet again and Cheria can be heard whimpering, courtesy of the not-so-great acoustics in the bathroom, "OOOOOH….MUUUUUUD BUUUUUUUTT! DAMN YOU, MUD-BUTT! UGH!"

Asbel says, "Guys, we have to hurry!"

So Sophie puts the pedal to the metal, so to say, and they high-tail it toward Barona and Richard's castle.

Meanwhile, at the castle…

Richard is looking in his royal crystal ball and he sees Asbel and company headed for his castle. He jumps up from his throne and says, "Guards! My little Asbel is on his way! Quick, get my 'special robe'."

One guard asks, "Your SPECIAL one, King Richard? Are you sure? Lord Asbel doesn't seem to be interested in you like that, you know?"

Richard shoots an angry expression toward the guard and replies, "WHAT did I tell you about calling me 'King Richard'—you are to CALL me 'King DICK'! Now get going and get my robe!"

The guards hurriedly bowed and stumbled over each other as they went to go get Richard's robe.

A few moments later, they returned with it and put it on the King, who was ass-naked in his throne room, anxiously awaiting Asbel.

Suddenly, Asbel and company materialize in the throne room. Richard stands up with a big smile and runs toward Asbel and gives him a gentle hug.

Asbel, a bit taken aback, says, "Uh…Richard! What are you—"

Richard cuts him off, "—oh Asbel, so very nice to see you! Do you like my new robe? I had it made just for you!"

Cheria whispers to Sophie, "I HATE when he does this! OOOH!"

Sophie looks at Richard, blinks twice, and asks, "Uh, Richard, why are you wearing a see-through robe? And…what's that little thingie dangling below your tummy?"

Richard smiles and points, "Oh? Dost thou liketh the royal cocketh?'

Cheria interrupts and says, "—Uh, Sophie…not now, sweetheart, Asbel and Richard have some business to discuss."

Malik, always the thinker, bows and says, "Your highness, we have a request to ask of you."

Richard finally lets go of Asbel and turns to Malik, "Malik, you're looking good these days. I see that age hasn't stopped you one bit!"

Malik smirks and replies, "Ah, thank you sire—the women still can't resist me! Ahahahaaa!"

Richard smiles and asks, "Sophie, Cheria, how are you two today—you both look as stunning as ever! Please forgive my tumescence-but my excitement has caused this to happen."

Cheria nervously glances down and then away from Richard's not-so-flaccid nether-region.

Richard approaches Cheria to give her a hug, and, seeing his butt-nekedness through the robe, just offers her hand, instead. Richard smiles sheepishly at first, but grimaces a bit afterward.

Richard asks, "Hey, what's that smell? Why does it smell like turds in my royal throne room?'

Asbel tries to keep a straight face and asks, "Well, that's why we're here. Cheria has been afflicted with a terrible condition."

Richard looks at Cheria and says, "Hmm…what could be wrong? She's not paralyzed, poisoned, confused, or stoned—well she got pretty stoned at the royal ball on New Years, eh guys?"

Malik and Asbel started laughing a little. Malik says, "Damn, that WAS some good fire that night! Cheria over there was lit the fuck UP!"

The guys shared a liittle laugh as Cheria just blushed, smiling to herself.

Richard calms down, "Ok, ok, ok…hahahaha…What's up with Cheria, here?"

Malik replies, "Well, Cheria here has a case of swamp-ass."

Richard's eyes grow big in concern and fear for Cheria. He says, "Oh…oh my god—that's TERRIBLE, Cheria!"

Asbel says, "Well, we come to you to find out where the treasure chest for the swamp-ass remedy is."

Richard, "Oh that? Well…I-I'm sorry to say that I had to use it myself last week. Yes, my royal ass-cheeks weren't immune to the terrible, smelly, and humiliating tragedy some call mud-butt."

Asbel covered his mouth with his hands in shock. Asbel asked, "Richard…NO!"

Richard lowered his head and sighed. He said, "Yes, it was just last week. I had ordered my guards to pick me up a happy meal from the…IDIOTS who work at the McDonald's in Oul Raye. I ordered a Quarter Pounder with cheese with mayo, right? Ok well I'm hungry and I finish my sandwich in a hurry. About 20 minutes later, my stomach started bubbling and I just kept doo-dooing! Damnit, I went EVERYWHERE! I should've SUED those bastards, but I put them on notice that I'm giving them another chance because I LIKE McDonald's!"

Malik replies, "Wow…sire, I'm sorry to hear that."

Richard leans forward on his throne and asks, "Do you know how AGONIZING it is to keep wiping and wiping yourself? You wipe, look at your tissue and see doo-doo. You wipe AGAIN, you see doo-doo. You wipe again—yep, doo-doo AGAIN! And all you wind up with is a mountain of toilet tissue big enough to clog even the toughest of toilets. That icky, mushy, slick and slippery feeling you get in your drawers when mud-butt sets in—it's disgusting!"

Cheria, frustrated and embarrassed speaks up, "Yeah, and-and you never feel like you're really CLEAN…eww, I hate this!"

Richard says, "Cheria, my heart does go out to you. I know of the embarrassment and torture you're going through."

Sophie chimes in, "So, where's the stuff? Since you had to use the remedy in the hidden treasure chest, how can we cure poor Cheria. Her stomach is growling like an angry doggie and-phew, she's funky!."

Cheria yells, "SOPHIE!"

Richard says, "Well, I'm not sure. I know thy just built a Wal-Mart here in Barona. You can check there. Other than that, perhaps you should seek out your nerdy, but still very attractive younger brother."

Asbel's eyes light up. He says, "Hey, that's a great Idea, Richard! Thanks!"

Richard asks, "Hey Asbel. Wanna' have a picnic up by the tree? You know—at Lhant Hill…where we first…met?

Asbel glances at Malik, who turns away quickly and starts whistling. Cheria sees what's happening, so she decides to "make her sickness be known". She exclaims, "OOOOH…my stomach! We gotta' GO, Asbel!"

Richard sees this and says, "Guards, please walk Ms. Cheria to her shuttle. Malik, Asbel, Sophie—help her…please."

Malik bows and says, "Aye, your highness. Ok, Asbel, Sophie—let's move on toward Wal-Mart!"

So our heroes make a mad dash toward the shuttle and set the coordinates (YES, in the same city) for Wal-Mart.

To be continued…simply because I know you all can't quite get enough of this, here.