Yep, here we go again…

The gang arrives at the Windor Wal-Mart. Malik turns to the group and says, "Ok, you guys wait here, I'll go in and see if I can find the stuff we need."

Sophie hurriedly puts her arm in front of him, effectively stopping him.

Asbel asks, "Hey Sophie, what are you doing?"

Sophie lowers her head and glances up at Asbel and Malik. She replies, "If anyone should go in THERE—it's ME! Lambda is my former arch-rival and floor manager in this place. If anyone should deal with him, I shall!"

Malik and Asbel glance at each other and shrug as Sophie makes her way in between them, storming out of the ship.

Sophie leaves and Asbel just shrugs and says, "Well, what can ya' do?"

Meanwhile, in the Walmart front office…

Behind a wooden desk with a bunch of papers on it sits a swirl of black and red energy—who happens to be wearing a powder blue shirt, a burgundy and navy-striped tie, and beige khakis...with his name tag.

Lambda mutters, "Hmm…if I schedule everything just right, I should have just enough coverage for one register-out of all 30 of them. The store will be nice and crowded—JUST how I like it!"

He smiles evilly to himself and chuckles a little. He says, "Hahaaaa! All those people, they shall all realize my true power when they're all waiting in one line because I'm just NOT going to open any more registers that night, MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!"

Suddenly…

"HEEEEEEEEEE-YAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The office door flies open as Sophie spin-kicks her way over toward Lambda's desk.

Startled, Lambda stands up from his seat. He says, "Protos Heis! What do YOU want?!"

Sophie points and says, "Lambda, where's the remedy for mud-butt? I KNOW you have it! Now GIVE it to me!"

Lambda sits back down and chuckles to himself, "Hmmhmmhmmm…you always DID know how to make an entrance, Protos Heis! But I have some sad news—I'm all out of the formula you need."

Sophie's eyes narrow and she asks, "Are you lying to me, Lambda? Don't MAKE me shove my foot up your ass!"

Lambda answers, "Huh…whatever—look, if you wanna' find that formula, you need to get a hold of Asbel's brother. Now, will there be anything else? No? Then you may take your leave…Protos HEIS!"

Sophie says, "You haven't seen the last of ME, Lambda! I'll be back!"

Lambda replies, "Oh good—we have crock-pots going on sale next week! Tell your friends!"

Sophie replies, "Oh SWEET! Yeah, I'll tell them."

"Bye Protos!"

"See ya', Lambs!"

Sophie runs back out to the ship and gets in.

Cheria, still clutching her stomach, asks, "Any luck?'

Sophie replies, "Nope, we have to go see Hubert and Pascal."

Asbel answers, "Ok, so be it, then. Let's head off to Gralesyde!"

So, the ship shoots on over to Gralesyde. The crew lands and heads for Duke Dalen's former mansion—now occupied by Hubert and Pascal.

They approach the door and Asbel rings the doorbell.

Cheria weakly says, "Oooh…I hope they're home!"

A cheery voice behind the door can be heard, "Just a miiiinuuuute!"

The door opens and Pascal smiles big, saying, "Heeeeey what's up gang?" What brings you this way?"

Asbel explains, "Well, we were hoping you and Hubert had the cure for swamp-ass."

Pascal covers her mouth in terror, "Oh my…who has it?"

Everytone turns and looks at Cheria, who's blushing furiously.

Pascal says, "Oh no…Cheria, that's terrible. Swamp ass is a HORRIBLE disease-How'd this happen?"

Malik folds his arms, sighs, and says, "Roast beef with mayo left out in the sun too long, Cheria tried to eat it, she now has a poopy slip-n-slide in her panties."

Cheria exclaims, "Hey, Captain Malik!"

Malik says, "What? I was only telling the truth."

Sophie says, "Yeah, but you could've been NICER about it, Captain."

Asbel sighs and asks, "Hey, is Hubert in?"

"Sure, I'll call him…hold on."

Pascal walks to the foot of the staircase and yells, "EH, LI'L BRO! BIG BRO'S HERE T'SEE YA'!"

A few moments later, Hubert comes downstairs. He approaches the group and asks, "Hey guys, what's with the crowd?"

Pascal chimes in, "Hey li'l bro, Cheria here's got mud-butt!"

Hubert replies, "Ugh. Oh, I'm so SORRY, Cheria. What can I do to help you with this?"

Asbel says, "Funny you should ask, really. We heard that you might could help us out in finding the antidote."

Hubert strokes his chin and his eyes widen as a thought crosses his mind. He snaps his fingers and says, "I know EXACTLY where the antidote is, but…"

Malik asks, "Well…what, Hubert?"

Hubert hangs his head and says, "Well…you'll have to fight for it."

Asbel, showing his brevity, declares, "We'll fight ANYBODY, ANYtime, ANYwhere! Just let me at him! Let MEEEEE AT'M!"

Hubert replies, "But Asbel, I'm telling you, it's not THAT simple, I'm afraid—"

Asbel, still high on testosterone, cuts Hubert off, "—WI don't care WHO he is! Let me at'm! I'll FIGHT for MY woman! I'll swim the deepest ocean, I'll climb the HIGHEST mountain, I'll stick my head in a beehive, if I have to, I'll wrestle a great white shark, I'll—"

Pascal cuts him off and calmly says, "Youuuu…have to get it from a violet scorpion in the uncharted sandstretch."

Everyone turns to Asbel, who's frozen in mid-rant, and whose eyes have grown quite large.

Malik asks, "So, uh…Asbel. Still ready to fight?"

Asbel swallows hard, as if he's swallowing peanut butter. He shakily replies, "U-Umm…you know, all of a sudden, I don't feel so well."

Malik speaks up, "Snap out of it, Asbel! What did I teach you at the Knight Academy?"

Asbel timidly answers, "Uh, Th-that L-Lady Victoria's bra size is a 40D?"

Malik smacks Asbel in the back of the head, "NO, you idiot! The OTHER thing I taught you-I told you to always be prepared for battle and never let your enemies see fear in you!"

Asbel takes a deep, determined breath and says, "You know? You're RIGHT, Captain! We're gonna' whoop those scorpions and, Cheria baby—you're gonna' be cured! HUZZZAH!"

Sophie agrees, "Asbel's right! We hafta' go and whoop some scorpion ASS!"

Cheria, shocked exclaims, "SOPHIE! Where'd you learn to speak like that?"

Malik turns around quickly and just starts whistling while his hands are in his pockets. Cheria's eyes narrow as she glares at Malik momentarily. Malik turns to her and just shrugs.

Hubert says, "My GOD, Asbel's right! We gotta' fight!"

Pascal, seizing the opportunity continues, "We gotta' FIGHT…for our RIGHT…to PAAAAAAARRRRTAAAAAAAAYYYY!"

Hubert looks at Pascal with a low-brow expression and says, "Shut up, Pascal."

So the group all head for the unforgiving and arid terrain known as the uncharted sandstretch.

As they start to land, they see 3 violet scorpions playing poker together. They all get out of the ship and Asbel takes a deep breath. Cheria clenches her stomach as it growls rather loudly. She lets out a little yelp.

Hubert says, "It'll be ok, Cheria, just hang on a little bit longer! Those Scorpions up there look like they're…playing poker?"

Asbel turns to Pascal and asks, "Hey Pascal, did the ancient Amarcians get mud-butt a lot?"

Pascal raises an eyebrow and asks, "What kind of question is that? I don't know. I …GUESS."

Asbel rolls his eyes, "C'mon, you know what I mean—are there any Amarcian secrets to dealing with this?"

Pascal replies, "Well, I haven't heard of any, no."

Malik says, "wait up, wait up…you mean to tell us that you can tell us all the ins and outs of Ancient Amarcian caves and habits and culture, but you can't tell us how they dealt with swamp-ass?"

Pascal explains, "Well, for one, the ancient Amarcians never HAD the TERRIBLE affliction of swamp-ass, and second, it was because they used to have a SUPER absorbent type of toilet tissue, the only problem with it was that it worked TOO good."

Sophie asks, "It worked 'too good'?"

Pascal nods, "Yep, it'd always leave little balled-up pieces of toilet tissue hanging all over their posteriors. We Amarcians were known for our hairy asses."

Just then, Asbel curls his upper lip and looks at Hubert, who immediately smiles sheepishly and blushes.

Asbell shakes his head and says, "We have to move on, let's go."

The group approaches the scorpions. One scorpion says, "Eh man, hit me."

Another scorpion does just that. The one scorpions says, "No, you moron—I meant give me another card!"

The dealing scorpion chuckles loudly as the group approaches.

Cheria elbows Asbel, beckoning him to speak up.

Asbel clears his throat and asks, "Hey you scorpions, do you have any mud-butt antidote?"

The scorpions stop what they're doing and one of them says, "Yeah, we have it. Would you like some?"

Asbel, wide-eyed says, "Wh-why of course, thanks!"

The second scorpion's filing his nails and he says, "Well, you can have some—if you're willing to…"

And all the scorpions say together, "…PRESS…YOUR…LUUUUUUUCK!"

All of a sudden, Asbel and the crew are in front of a live studio audience and another violet scrorpion comes out in a suit and tie. He grabs a microphone and says, "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO ANOTHER EPISODE OF PRESS-YOUR-LUUUCK. OUR CONTESTANT TODAY HAILS FROM—Hey where you from, kid?"

"Uh, Lhant"

The scorpion continues, "LHANT VILLAGE! HE'S HERE TO WIN THE ANTIDOTE FOR HIS LOVE, WHO HAS BEEN AFFLICTED BY A TERRIBLE DISEASE…LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, CAN I GET A CHEER FOR MUUUUUUUD-BUUUUUUTT!"

The audience goes crazy!

Suddenly an electronic board with constantly changing prizes and whammies appears around Asbel's face. A buzzer rises up out of the ground and the board starts beeping and booping.

Asbel smiles as Malik and the crew cheer him on the sidelines.

Asbel says, c'mon, c'mon, big money, big money, no whammies, STOP!"

"Congratulations, you just won 500 dollars! Care to spin again?"

Asbel turns to the audience, "Yeah, I'll go again—c'mon, big bucks, big bucks, big bucks, no whammies—STOP!"

And so, this farce goes on for a few more rounds, until finally, Asbel wins the antidote. The scorpion host says, "Don't leave yet, Asbel, your grand prize will be displayed up on the screen!"

The scorpions, the audience, Asbel and his crew all face upward towards the mountain range in the distance. After staring in silence for a few minutes, Asbel mutters to the group, "Uh, guys…let's get outta' here."

Asbel and his group trot off and hurry back to the spaceship as the scorpions and the live audience continue to stare toward the horizon.

…yep, STILL more of this to come.