Ok, last chappie…put a quarter in, press "play".

Our heroes are on their way back to Lhant Village aboard the skyship…

Asbel turns to Cheria and says, "Ok, we have the remedy, Cheria. Here, read the instructions and take the medicine."

Cheria grabs the bottle, turns it over, and reads, "Hmm…take only after a bowel movement."

Suddenly, Cheria's stomach starts rumbling.

Pascal says, "Well damn, that's not gonna' be hard."

Hubert turns to Pascal and says, "Pascal, could you at least TRY to be a little more sensitive?"

Pascal shrugs and asks, "Daaaaamn, what'd I say?"

Asbel says, "Nevermind, how are you feeling, Cheria?"

Cheria replies, "Oh, I'll be fine once I get this medicine in me. Now, let's see…what does this bottle say about—oh…wow…"

Asbel asks, "What's wrong, Cheria?"

Cheria points and reads, "Well, it says here that I'm to…well…use the bathroom—for lack of a better term—and then I'm to take this medication at the very spot that my…uh, condition…took hold."

Suddenly, Cheria starts twitching and squirming in her seat a bit.

Sophie asks, "Hey, what's wrong, Cheria?"

Cheria starts squirming a bit more urgently at this time.

Cheria replies, "Ugh…it…fuckin' ITCHES! MMMPH!"

Malik's eyes widen for a moment and he says, "Oh no…it seems that her condition has started to ADVANCE!"

Asbel, looking apologetically at his lady love, asks, "Wha…what do you mean, Captain?"

Malik folds his arms and sighs, "Well, I'm afraid that she's reached the advanced stages of swamp ass. This is when you start to develop an itch in your butt—this is actually a SUB-condition known as 'athlete's butt'"

Sophie asks, "'Athlete's…butt'? Captain, what's 'athlete's butt'?"

Malik strokes his chin and replies, "Well Sophie, remember when Asbel here caught that case of athlete's FOOT a while back?"

Sophie nods and Malik continues, "Well, this condition is similar to that. Your butt itches, you scratch it, yet it keeps itching, all the while, you're pretty much relegated to either digging in your ass in public or squirming around in your chair, trying to keep people from seeing you scratch your ass. Either way, it's an ungracious affair. "

Hubert chimes in, "Yes…your—your butt still has that GREASY feel to it and NOW, on top of that, it itches!"

Malik continues, "Not just that, but it'll KEEP itching—you keep scratching and it'll start to get sore and start burning a little, yet at the SAME time, still be itching like crazy—hence the name 'athlete's butt'. Oh, and DO be careful when scratching—that moisture you feel back there ISN'T sweat, you know. So we can't waste ANY time!"

Sophie and Hubert look at each other and cringe.

Asbel gently puts his arm around Cheria, trying to console her. Cheria can smell herself, she whispers to Asbel, "Asbel sweetie, am I EVER gonna' get rid of this? I-I mean, I KNOW you can smell me and I've just about used up my flower-scented perfume. I smell like a…a sunflower that someone took a crap on!"

"Baby, of COURSE you will! I SWEAR to you! We have the medicine right HERE! And no, you DON'T stink! I love you, Cheria, through thick and thin."

Hubert nods and adds, "Yes, Cheria—through good and bad!"

Sophie says, "Through disappointment and happiness!"

Pascal cheerfully says, "Yep—and through regularity and constipation!"

Just then, everyone looked at Pascal, shaking their heads.

Pascal blinked twice and asked, "Well it IS the truth, you know."

Asbel continues, "Well, you know what I mean, Cheria. I LOVE you and I'd NEVER let ANYTHING keep you down!"

Cheria smiles back at Asbel, and looks at everyone with a renewed sense of encouragement.

She says, "Oh THANK you, everybody! Now I KNOW that, with you guys supporting me, along with my OWN will to survive this condition—I KNOW I'll make it! You guys are the GREATEST!"

Sophie says, "It's nothing, Cheria. We're ALL here for you!"

Cheria hugs Sophie and Sophie turns her head away and grimaces slightly because of Cheria's "aroma".

Asbel smiles and proudly says, "All right, everyone! Let's head for my mansion! Cheria will take a dump and THEN the medicine…and Frederick will cook us a wonderful meal in celebration of Cheria's victory! Mud-butt will HAVE no victory here!"

Cheria just flutters her eyes in utter adoration of her husband Asbel, standing proud and tall as the ship races toward Lhant village.

A few moments later, the group reaches Lhant and they all congregate in the study as Cheria makes a bee-line for the facilities, remedy bottle-in-hand, yet effectively crop-dusting the entire staircase along the way.

Just as Cheria slammed the door, Frederick just finished cleaning the guest room. He started up the stairs and grimaced as he pulled out some air freshener from the inside of his tuxedo jacket and sprayed it around generously.

"What in HEAVENS…" He mutters to himself as he continues up the stairs.

About 25 minutes later, in the study…

Asbel says, "Man…I hope she's ok in there. It's been almost a half-HOUR!"

Malki says, "Asbel, these things take time. She'll be just fine. She has to wipe, VERY likely shower, take that medicine, and ultimately burn those panties."

Hubert asks, "Wow…are you sure, Captain Malik—er, I meanCaptain WINDMILL?"

Malik nods and says, "Hm…that's BETTER. Anyway-yes, she's had those panties on all day—trust me, they've GOT to be looking like hot wing paper by now."

Everyone just says, "EEEEEEWWWWW! CAPTAIN MALIK!"

Malik just shrugs and smirks a little.

So…about 20 MORE minutes pass…

A flushing can finally be heard in the distance. Asbel's eyes light up in excitement and anticipation. He checks his watch and says, "Damn, it's been damn near an HOUR!"

Sophie asks, "Hey Asbel, do you think Cheria might need some help?"

Pascal interjects, "Well, you can help her in any way you want, EXCEPT—she has to down the medicine herself. She has to take that journey alone."

Malik nods and says, "Pascal's right, you mustn't interfere or else the medicine won't take effect."

Asbel and Hubert glance at each other in slight disbelief. That's when Asbel's phone rings. He goes to pick it up…

"Uh Hello, Lhant residence?"

"Hey Asbel, it's me."

Asbel points to the receiver and mouths to the others that it's Cheria before quickly resuming the call.

The other look at Asbel in anticipation of good news.

Asbel nods and says, "Ok, I'll be up in a second!"

Malik starts to stop him, "No you mustn't interfere—"

Asbel replies, "It's cool, Captain! She just needs me to help her get off the toilet stool. Her legs fell asleep and she can't feel ANYTHING below her waist. I'll be right back!"

Asbel hurries out of the study and upstairs. Sophie says, "Wow…Asbel's so brave."

Pascal nods and replies, "Yeah totally—to endure the SMELL that's sure to blast him in the face likely even before he opens the door!"

10 minutes pass…

Asbel walks back into the study. Malik asks, "So? What's the word?"

Asbel replies, "She's up there washing up and she's taking the medicine right afterwards."

Hubert says, "Did she seem ok when you were up there, Asbel?"

Asbel says, "Yeah, she says she was really looking forward to ending this—oh, and she had me throw away her panties, as well. I had to use a ruler to hang them on—hell, I threw them AND the ruler away."

The group shares a little laugh as a few more minutes pass…

Cheria then walks into the study, twirling around in a new dress and smelling of soap and perfume!

Sophie smiles and runs up to Sophie and gives her a big hug.

Sophie says, "Wow, Cheria, you smell so good! You look like a new person!"

And, yeah—everybody shares a compliment. Afterwards, Cheria holds up the remedy bottle and smiles. She proudly says, "I feel like a natural woman! I feel…beautiful again! And I smell like a human BEING again! WOOHOO!"

Asbel kisses Cheria and says, "Baby, I'm so glad that's over. I HATED seeing you so miserable."

Cheria looks at Asbel and the others and says, "I never could've done it without YOU guys! I love you ALL!"

So they all share a biiig group hug, and just as they're hugging, Frederick walks in and says, "Lord Asbel, dinner is served!"

Asbel says, "Ok guys, let's eat!"

So they all head for the stately dining room and sing "for she's a jolly good fellow", all the while toasting with wine and laughing, all because of Cheria's victory over the humiliation, agony, and smelliness of "swamp ass".

However, in the kitchen…

Frederick and his crew were cleaning the kitchen and washing dishes as the din from the dining room took over the background. He passes by a nicely-stacked sandwich sitting on the counter.

Frederick glances around and refocuses his attention on the sandwich. He mutters to himself, "Ye GODS I'm hungry. Oh, and it's roast BEEF, too! Now, why would someone just take one bite out of it and just leave it sit like this?"

Frederick reaches in the drawer and pulls out a knife and cuts off the section with the bite mark on it. He licks his lips and opens his mouth, taking a HUGE bite out of the sandwich. He says, "Mmm…this is absolutely DELICIO—"

His words cut off by the immediate painful rumbling in his stomach.

"Ooooooh…no."

He darts out of the kitchen, grabs his spray can, and runs with it upstairs and slams the bathroom door behind himself.

Sophie sees this and asks, "Why was he in such a hurry?"

All of a sudden, Malik and Asbel look at each other and their eyes get big. Malik asks, "Remember when Cheria couldn't find her roast beef sandwich earlier?"

Hubert, ever the quick one replies, "I think we know who just may have found it."

Cheria's eyes were starting to well up with tears, "GRAMPA' NOOOO! Oh Asbel, I should've been there to stop him! I should've BEEN there! What kind of granddaughter am I to have LET this happen to him? Besides, I've ALWAYS told him to stop EATING after other people!"

Asbel hugs Cheria as she cries in his arms. Asbel and the others just look at one another with concerned expressions on their faces.

After about 5 minutes of that, Pascal finally speaks, "So uh…when do we leave for the uncharted sandstretch?"

Just then, Malik, Hubert, and Sophie just sigh and faint.

The end?