Broken

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It was going to be a long and somewhat uncomfortable night, but 9 didn't care. He had sat there, outside the bedroom door for several hours, all by himself, and now it was evening. It seemed like he had been there much longer—it could have been an eternity already, if it had been an afternoon. And it was clear there was no getting into his warm, soft bed tonight. He sighed sadly, but crossed his arms resolutely and re-settled himself in place.

My butt's gone to sleep…

"I'm still out here, see?"

7 didn't answer. She had been silent for as long as he had been sitting there, and he didn't really expect her to say anything to him any time soon. But that was okay, he supposed. He could be patient. Still, the first of what could be many long nights would be cold, boring, and very lonely.

The sun was long gone, and the hallway was very dark and cold. After a bit, 6 came trotting down the hall with a thick blanket clutched in his hands.

"You should go to bed," he pointed out blankly.

"I'm not moving," 9 answered. "I'm staying right here until she comes out."

6 looked a little sad, but he nodded his head. "I… I knew you would say that. 2 wanted me to say…"

"It's good of him to be concerned."

"I brought you this," 6 said earnestly, handing down the blanket. "It's 4's. She doesn't want you to get cold."

"That's very sweet of her. 6… You really like her, don't you?"

He couldn't see his little brother's face well in the dark, but he imagined the striped 'punk must be smiling kind of sheepishly. He made a nervous sound, and changed the subject. "8 is taking the first watch tonight," he informed. "I wanted to help watch… But 2 says it's better for me to stay inside. I don't like it. I don't want her to come back. I want to help."

"We all have to help in our own ways. As soon as I break this spell on 7, I'll start taking a watch, too. But for now, you can help us by being your same genius self."

"But my same genius self scares them. I want to do more… But I wasn't made for more…"

9 admired 6's enthusiasm. Momentarily breaking his oath to stay put, he stood up and held his brother close.

"We all have our gifts, 6. It's better to use them whenever we can, as best we can, than to squander them by wishing we had someone else's special gift."

"I know."

Of course he would. 9 supposed he would be peeved as well, if his own gifts weren't particularly useful in a moment of need.

"Look after the twins for me. Keep them company, and tell them not to worry about things. Hey, everything will work out, somehow. When have I ever let you down?"

"You would never let us down. I trust you."

In this dark, lonesome hour, that was more encouraging than he had imagined possible. He gave 6 a final squeeze and sent him back to the light of the common room, asking him to say goodnight to everyone for him. He wrapped himself in 4's thick blanket, and the cold suddenly vanished from the equation. He felt impervious to it. Maybe the night wouldn't be so difficult, after all.

I wonder what will become and 6 and 4…?

Considering this, he sat back down against the door and resettled himself. His bottom complained profusely, having just begun to wake up, and his legs and back ached a little. Maybe he should stand up and stretch every now and again? If he could remember. Safe in his adopted daughter's blanket, he had begun to feel sleepy. He found himself drifting off into a dream within minutes.

And, naturally, he found himself dreaming of his wife. He looked up to find himself reliving a lovely moment from December, unaware that he was dreaming at all. He was just walking into the bedroom, freely pushing the door open to find 7 in the rocking chair, stitching cloth scraps into a colorful patchwork baby blanket. She was nearing the end of the project; the blanket fell over her knees, partially hiding her growing belly. As she bent over her work, diligently stitching with a broken-off needle and some red thread, she was quietly humming a made up tune she had been practicing.

But when she heard the door open, she looked up and smiled at him.

"You're in early," she commented. "How's the body coming along?"

He felt an odd sense of déjà vu, but he didn't mind; he was glad to revisit this moment. He walked over and kissed the top of her head. "It's coming along. How are you feeling?"

"Good, very good. Thank you for this chair. It works wonders, truly it does. I haven't felt so much like myself since…" She finished her sentence by gazing down at her belly and lovingly patting the swell.

He wondered if she realized how very unlike herself she was. But yes, her temper had been much steadier since she'd had the rocking chair to sit in. She hardly left it during the day, except to occasionally move to the common room. Even this heavy with child, she couldn't be kept from moving around, if she wanted to. He absolutely loved that about her.

After a moment, she returned to her work and picked up her humming where she had left off. 9 sat down on the edge of the bed and just watched her quietly for a bit. Then an idea struck him. He stood up and gently took the blanket and needle, laying it over the arm of the chair. He took her hands and helped her to her feet, slipping one arm around her waist and griping her hand loosely in his.

"Your song is beautiful. Keep singing, please."

She got the hint and placed her other hand on his shoulder with an appreciative smile. She began humming her song from the beginning, and they began to dance slowly to it. Even while hugely pregnant, she could still waltz as gracefully as a swan gliding effortlessly over clear water. She was as much like a swan as she was like the moon—elegant, romantic, and beautiful, but still aggressive and fiercely territorial. After a few turns, he began humming with her, in a harmony part he had slowly pieced together. She rested her forehead against his, as close as she could be with unborn 10 holding them apart. Amazingly, he felt as close to her as ever. Maybe even closer.

After a few more turns, she turned slightly to give him a big, full hug, without the baby getting in their way. He held her close, as tight as he could without hurting her. She laid her head on his shoulder and sighed happily.

"I love you with all my heart."

"With my very soul, I love you. Both of you."

The dream vanished in a flash, as the door was kicked sharply against his back. 9 sat up with a start, finding himself back in the dark hallway and feeling chilly, despite his blanket. He pulled it tight around himself, losing a brief battle with a shiver that ran down his spine. But he gathered himself and turned to look up at the door.

"Was I snoring again, honey?"

He got another kick in response, this one hard enough to push him a few centimeters forward. Apparently, a yes.

"I'm sorry," he said, rubbing his back. "You used to think it was cute."

"There's nothing cute about you," she snapped from inside.

"If you'd let me sleep in my own bed, maybe I wouldn't snore as loudly."

"Never! I wouldn't let you sleep in my bed if my life depended on it!"

"Alright, alright. I'll try to keep it down. I'm still out here, by the way, and I'm not going anywhere."

She didn't answer, but he heard her storm away, probably back to bed. If she was sleeping at all. Only the cold and crushing boredom allowed 9 to sleep. If it weren't for that, he was certain he would be wide awake.

"7? I love you."

Still no answer. Still not surprising. He decided to take a moment and stand up, stretching his stiff legs and back. He wished he could be back in his dream; he hadn't even gotten to the part of that memory when they had kissed, or when they had danced some more, or when the twins had run into the room and joined them. That had been a good afternoon…

He sighed sadly and sat back down, closing his eyes and hoping he would return to that dream. Instead, his subconscious took him to what felt like the present, only the way it should have been. The way it would have been if Pi had never come into their lives. In his dream, he opened his eyes and found himself in his warm, soft bed, snuggled beneath the thick quilt the twins had given as a wedding present. 7 was sleeping peacefully by his side, with 10's tiny body like a furnace between them.

Even though he could barely see either of them in the darkness, he could imagine their sleeping faces. It touched his heart, moving him to reach out and caress their faces. 10 slept on, undisturbed by her father's gentle touch. But he heard 7's eyes flicker open a bit, and he felt her smiling beneath his fingertips. She put her arm around him, slowly stroking his side. Her fingers weren't cold at all; in fact, he felt even warmer than before.

"I love you," she whispered sleepily, barely awake.

"And I love you, my dearest."

Again, the dream dissipated as the door was given another violent kick. This time, he was startled enough to fall over.

"If you can't stop snoring, go climb in bed with Pi," 7 snapped. "I'll bet she thinks it's cute. I'll bet she thinks a lot of thing you do are cute."

"Pi isn't here," he answered, only half awake, himself. "And even if she were, she would be in pieces."

As his presence of mind returned, he decided to sleep against the other wall, where his snoring wouldn't bother her as much. He crawled across the hall until he bumped into the wall, and lay down on the floor, pulling his blanket as close around him as he could. He wondered at first why it didn't quite reach his feet; but then he remembered that it belonged to 4. She was shorter than him. Feh…

"I'm still out here, I just moved a little. But I'm still not going anywhere."

"Stop saying that! What are you trying to prove, anyway?"

"That I love you."

"It's not going to work."

"Regardless, I'm not moving."

"Stubborn bastard," she hissed, and then stomped back to bed.

Ouch. He tried to ignore how badly that stung by closing his eyes and drifting off again. This time, he dreamt of the future. The spell on his wife had been lifted, 10 was a strong, sturdy little girl, and Pi was nothing more than a distant memory. They were walking through the ruins together, with 10 holding their hands, just talking about everything she saw. It must have been spring or early summer, because the sun was shining warm on them, and the world was green, dotted with brightly colored flowers.

"Daddy, were you ever a baby like I was?" the little girl was asking.

"No, I'm afraid I wasn't."

"What about mommy? Mommy, were you ever a baby?"

"No, sweetie, I wasn't either."

"Do you wish you were?"

"Not really."

"It must be hard being a baby. You can't walk or talk or do anything. I don't really remember what it was like, but I'll bet it wasn't any fun."

"You were the most perfect baby we could have asked for," 7 insisted. "Sometimes, when you were learning, you got a little frustrated when you didn't quite get it right away. But you still had plenty of fun getting to know us."

"Did you have fun getting to know me?"

"Every single day."

"Will you have another baby someday? So I can have a little brother or sister to play with?"

"Maybe someday. But for now, we love just having you."

10 beamed at her mother, and then looked up at 9. "Daddy, how much do you love me?"

He picked her up and planted her on his hip, pointing up at the sky. "Do you see the sun? See how far away it is?"

10 shielded her eyes and squinted up at the sun. "Sorta…"

"Well, don't look directly at it, baby; it can hurt you that way."

"But it doesn't seem far away at all."

"It does seem that way, but the sun is actually very far away from us. It's way out in space."

"Wow. That's really far away."

"I know. It's an impossible distance."

"Oh, is that how much you love me?"

"Nope. Not even close," he answered, kissing her soft cheek. "I love you much more than that."

"And mommy too, right?"

"That's right, my precious girl. And nothing can ever change that."

"Not even gravity? 'Cause granddad says that gravity's the most powerful force in the whole universe."

"If anything, gravity can only make me love you more."

"That's a lot. You must be a superhero, daddy!"

7 laughed merrily and patted the child on the back. "I think you're right, Dixie. He'll never admit it himself, but he's a hero to me."

"See, daddy? I knew you were a superhero! All that love would make other people explode or something. Do you think I could be a superhero like you, someday?"

With a smile, he took his wife in his free arm and cuddled them together. "We think you already are."

This time, the dream faded slowly, peacefully, as 9 woke up with his head on the hard floor. It wasn't as dark as it had been, with early morning sunlight streaming through the holes in the roof. He had no idea how much time had passed, or what time it was now, but it was definitely morning. Supposing that he wasn't going to get anymore sleep, he scooted back to his original post in front of the door.

Not bad, for the first night. Now I just have to do it again tonight.

For another stretch of time, he sat leaning against the door, staring off into space, thinking about things. But it hadn't been very long, when the door suddenly fell out from behind him and he toppled backwards, hitting his head on the floor. He blinked a few times, letting the spots clear from his vision. And when they did, he looked up to see 7 towering above him, fists on her hips, and an unimpressed scowl on her face.

Even when angry, she was still inescapably beautiful.

"Why are you toying with me like this?" she demanded tiredly. "If you're going to leave, just do it. Haven't you caused me enough trouble already?"

"I could never leave you," he insisted from the floor. "You're my whole world. How could I leave someone as perfect as you, for someone like Pi?"

"Quite easily, apparently. …Where's 10?"

He rolled over and climbed to his feet as he answered, "In the common room, safe with her brother and sister. She isn't going anywhere, any more than I am."

7 paused and considered this. "I'm going to see her," she decided, trying to storm past him. Instead, he caught her in his arms and held her back. Naturally, she began to struggle.

"No! Let go of me!"

"I can't, and you know it. You know I won't let you go—somewhere deep inside, you know it."

She stopped struggling briefly, to look him fiercely in the eye. "I did what you wanted," she growled. "I opened the damn door, I looked at your stupid face, and I talked to you even though it made me sick! What more do you want from me?"

Oh wow. This close, he could see what 2 had meant about her eyes. It was like someone had filled them with wispy clouds, obscuring her vision. She couldn't see her 9 through that haze—only a monster out of a nightmare. This had to stop.

"I want you to be free," he answered, even though she didn't know what he meant. "I want with all my heart for you to be free of this."

"You're crazy! Get off me!"

"I'm not letting you go, 7! I refuse to give up on you!"

"Stop pretending you love me! I know that you don't!"

He gripped her by the shoulders and pulled her as close as he could.

"I do love you! I love you with everything I am, and I'm going to prove it!"

Without hesitating another second, he mashed his face against hers and kissed her as hard as he could—decidedly not the sweetest kiss they'd ever shared, but at least it was happening. She screamed furiously and beat her fist hard against his shoulder, trying to wrench away from him. The pain from her strike was sharp and firry, and he nearly lost his grip, but…

She was relaxing. With every second, her fury slipped a little further away. He pulled away slightly to look at her, to see if her eyes had changed yet. She looked back at him in confusion, her black pupils darting back and forth over his face as if she couldn't quite remember him, or what was going on. And as he watched, he saw the cloudiness fade away. At the same time, 7 gave a heavy, almost ethereal sigh; her breath came as an icy mist against his skin, chilling him through, but only momentarily. Its meaning warmed his heart right back up:

The spell was broken.

He held his hand to her cheek, nuzzled her face, whispered her name, trying to bring her senses back. She seemed lost, as if she had just woken from a dream to find herself sleepwalking.

"Look at me. 7, look at me. It's me."

She blinked at him, raised her fingers to brush his face. Her eyes suddenly went wide, and she gasped in horror as realization came over her. She threw her arms around him with a strangled cry of distress. He tucked her head into his shoulder, hiding her safe from the world, as she drew deep, shaking breaths of air.

"I couldn't see you," she whispered. "I couldn't see you…"

"It's okay now, it's okay," he whispered back, rocking her slowly. "It's over, my love. I'm here now. You're safe here."

"I'm so sorry," she sobbed. "I… I didn't believe her. I didn't, not for a second, and then… She did… something to me, I don't know what. I was locked in this dark place, where there was only fear. And I believed everything she said—I didn't want to, but I did, I just did!"

"Sweetheart…"

"I thought I lost you, 9. I thought I lost you…"

"It would take a lot more than a witch like Pi to separate me from you."

She looked up at him with her lip quivering pathetically. She covered her mouth with her hand and looked away, horribly ashamed of herself.

"Forgive me. I'm so sorry…"

He took her hand in his own and pressed his lips to her fingers. "This wasn't your fault. There's nothing to forgive."

"Yes there is! If I had been paying attention, if I had been stronger, if I had… I could have stopped this."

"It's no one's fault but hers. Pi did this to us, and the rest of our family, and you didn't do anything to deserve it. I could forgive you of anything, even the worst crimes in the world. But how can I forgive something you didn't do?"

She nodded vaguely, understanding, but sad and tired. He pulled her back and she slumped against him, burying her face in his shoulder. They were united again, and that horrible nightmare was over.

"Honey, you need to see your baby. And she needs you."

"She didn't hurt any of them, too, did she?"

"No, no, everyone's fine."

"…What about 5?"

9 hesitated to answer that. He had no idea where his brother was, or what he was doing. But he could imagine him brokenhearted and depressed. In spite of everything Pi had done to them, he supposed he could understand, a little.

"Oh, 5… I think he just needs some time."

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The watch had been established on the second floor—territory that was mostly uncharted yet, since getting there and back again had proven difficult and dangerous in the past. However, with the combined efforts of three builders, an elevator like the one from Sanctuary had been constructed in the fall. And while it had allowed for exploration recently, it also allowed a decent view for a watchtower.

Since he had been the first to take a watch shift, 8 had already chosen and set up a sort of base. It had been strategically chosen, set before the blown-out window with the clearest, straightest view of the courtyard. Everything within the big, circular wall was clearly visible, and so was the street beyond. If anything dared to move outside, the one on watch duty would know it.

In his "wisdom", the giant had also built a small fort out of books to keep out the cold. He had also stocked the fort with things he supposed would be useful. When 5 had arrived for his shift, he was a little surprised to find that they had a fully prepared base. There were blankets for the night watch, and a thimble with a decent campfire crackling inside. There was an old pocket watch for keeping time, and paper for keeping notes on. There were matches and candles, and even a magnifying glass for a makeshift searchlight. And there was a tarnished sailor's whistle that could be blown as an emergency alarm.

A bit disconcerting, 5 also found an arsenal of spears and other projectiles in the fort. Ignoring the weapons, he had grabbed a blanket and sat down to stare vengefully at the horizon. He had barely moved for hours.

That had been late the night before, and now the sun had risen. 8 had returned hours earlier to take a second shift, but 5 had shooed him away. He couldn't remember ever having the nerve to shoo anyone away, much less huge, hulking 8; but he was too angry to care. And the giant had wordlessly turned and left, sensing his brother's very foul mood. After that, 5 had been all alone in the cold with only his thoughts for company.

And mostly, there was only one thing he could think of—Pi. In the last few minutes he had seen her, she had been a completely different person than the girl he had come to know. She had become someone horrifying and cruel. She had suddenly become exactly what everyone else had seen, but had been hidden from him.

He couldn't believe it. He just couldn't. Not his Pi, who was gentle and sweet, and beautiful—so very beautiful, inside and out. She would never do something so terrible to them. She was a good girl, and it was unfair of his family to treat her like a monster.

Except… She was a monster. She had confessed everything. There was no possibility, no excuse, no explanation that could change it. He had been so wrong about her, and now he felt so strange. How could he have missed it? How did she fool him so well for all that time? She had lied to him, and hurt his whole family; and his blindness kept him from seeing it, or even listening to them. He felt so betrayed, and so hopeless.

But then, no, he didn't. Something deep inside him refused to give up hope in her. He couldn't begin to explain it—by all accounts, he had every right to hate her now. He had every right to curse her name and her treachery, wish her a slow, painful death, and pray he'd never see her wicked face again. He knew it was less than what his family would be doing, on the floor below him. But no. He amazed himself by feeling no anger, and no hatred. Just sadness. Just deep, overwhelming disappointment in her, and sorrow in being so parted from her.

On the flip side, he found himself furious with his brother again. He hadn't been so angry, or so jealous in nearly two weeks, and its sudden return was slightly confusing. It wasn't 9's fault that his wife had been attacked. It wasn't his fault that Pi was a threat and had to be sent away. But…

Stupid 9, it was all his fault. Him, with his perfect wife, perfect little baby, and everything going so perfectly his way. Was it not enough, that he had to rub it in everyone's faces by ripping his brother's happiness to pieces?

"Is it so much to ask for?" he asked the sun. "Is it really so much to ask for a chance? He keeps saying he hopes I'll get one; but it's only until he's actually faced with it, isn't it? It's only alright until I have the possibility of a chance—because how could someone like me ever have a real chance to love someone else? He just can't stand the idea that maybe—just maybe—I could make a family of my own. I could love a woman and children just as much as him! And he can't stand it!"

"That is least true thing I've ever heard."

5 felt his heart skip a beat, realizing he had been heard, and who he had been heard by. He turned to see his father advancing on him from the elevator. How had he not heard it coming up? 2 stopped and stood beside him, arms crossed, unimpressed.

"Is that what you've been sitting on all this time? You should have come and talked to me about it. I could have helped you."

Still sitting on the floor, 5 rolled his one eye, not in the mood for being lectured. "What do you expect me to say? Would you have wanted to talk about it?"

"Wants are relative. What you've been doing to yourself, it isn't healthy. You must speak with your brother about this."

"Make me."

"…Do you have any clue what he did to bring you back? He defied the laws of nature for you, and he did it out of love. Is this truly how you're going to repay him?"

"If he only brought me back to hurt me like this, he should have left me where I was."

"And you claim to want a family of your own. Why? Is it truly out of love, or only revenge?"

"Maybe there's room for revenge."

"Then you have no business meddling in such affairs."

"I don't care!"

2 was silent for a long moment, and sadly so. With a defeated sigh, he turned and walked away.

"The spell on 7 has been broken, if it pleases your interest at all," he informed as he climbed into the elevator. "It was she who sent me looking for you, in the first place, you know. Whenever you're ready to face your demons, or at least be pleasant, you know where to find us."

No, it didn't really please his interest. The last traces of Pi had been erased, and now she was nothing more than a memory—even if it was his sister. He didn't intend on going down there to face his celebrating family any time soon.

It was about time something bad happened in their perfect little lives. If only it had lasted a little longer…