Friday, March 7, 2003

He simply felt that if he could carry away the vision of the spot of earth she walked on, and the way the sky and sea enclosed it, the rest of the world might seem less empty. -Edith Wharton, The Age of Innocence

Ugh, so sticky.

I sat back down in between Garrett and Emmett and waited for Lauren to stop looking at me so I could wipe off whatever she'd been wearing on her lips. Everyone else started chanting for Garrett to take his turn.

He leaned forward, grabbed the empty root beer bottle and spun. I looked around at the rest of the group wondering who he was gonna get stuck with. The odds were pretty even with four boys and four girls. The chief was working the night shift and Emmett's older sister was supposed to be supervising his birthday party. Only as soon as she paid for the pizza she'd ordered for us, she just gave Em a stern look, he nodded, and then she went upstairs and we hadn't seen her since.

After we finished eating we were halfway through Spider-Man when the girls started giggling. I looked at Emmett who seemed just as confused as I was. The Green Goblin just killed a bunch of people. That's not particularly funny. We looked back at them and Lauren was leaned over, whispering in Tyler's ear. He turned around, eyes wide and stared at us for a few seconds before he got up from the floor and stumbled over to the couch.

"Uh... Guys?"

Garrett huffed before reaching over me for the remote and pausing the movie.

"What's going on, Ty?"

"They uh... The girls wanna..."

"What is it?

"They want to play..."

"Dude. Spit it out."

He moved in closer and whispered.

"Spin-the-bottle."

Oh, god.

I didn't want to play. I didn't like any of them like that. And Lauren wore way too much of that peach crap on her lips.

The bottle slowed and landed on Whitney. Her cheeks were a little pink and she kept twirling her sandy hair between her fingers. Garrett looked like he might hurl.

Before I had to sit there and watch, I announced that I had to go to the bathroom and escaped to the kitchen only to find that I was exchanging one source of anxiety for another. Emmett's sister was bent over, searching through the bottom of the freezer for who knows what because all I could see was the bare skin between her jeans and t-shirt.

She grumbled to herself and stood up, closing the door to the freezer before turning around and gasping.

"Holy shit!"

I don't know who was more scared, honestly.

"Jesus, Edward. Make a noise when you enter a room for crying out loud."

"Sorry, Bella."

She sighed, turned around and started looking through the cabinets.

"So what are you doing in here? Shouldn't you be getting your kissy face on?"

I cringed and self consciously rubbed at my mouth like the gooey stuff might still be there.

"Unfortunately, I already did."

She turned around and I was met with a very pretty, very confused face.

"You don't sound too happy about it."

I shrugged and sat down at the kitchen table. She walked over and sat on top of it. I'd never been this close to her before. She smelt like laundry and cookies.

"You wanna talk about it?"

I shook my head and she tilted hers.

"Wanna get some ice cream?"

"Huh?"

"Ice cream. Emmett finished off all the chocolate chip and I really want some so I'm gonna go to the store. You wanna join me?"

My heart was pounding and I may have started sweating.

"Sure."

"Cool. Let's go."

She slid off the table and I followed after her. When we passed by the living room she poked her head in.

The girls were giggling again and Tyler was reaching for the bottle. I wonder who Emmett kissed.

"Hey Em, I have to run to the store to pick up a few things. Your buddy Edward is gonna help. I'll be back in ten so don't do anything stupid while we're gone."

At the sound of her voice, there were seven startled faces staring back at us until Emmett answered.

"Wait, what?"

She grabbed her jacket from the coat rack and walked out the front door. I found myself gaping after her while Emmett was suddenly distracted by Lauren leaning in front of him to plant a wet one on Tyler.

I ran out after her before he could ask me any questions.

Bella had an old truck that Charlie's friend fixed up for her. To be completely honest, it terrified me because it always made this horrible noise every time she started it up. It was cold even for March so I pulled the hood of my sweatshirt over my head to keep my ears warm and hopped in. The beast came to life and she quickly turned the radio off.

"So, what's up, Edward?"

"Uh... Not a lot. You?"

"Same old, same old. You sure you don't wanna talk about it?"

I looked down at my lap. Bella was probably the last person in the world I wanted to be talking to about this. It was bad enough that I was just her little brother's friend but now I was gonna look like a total loser on top of it.

"I just don't like Lauren like that."

"Like what exactly?"

I turned to look at her face and she was smirking. I knew it. She thinks I'm a geek.

"You know what I mean," I mumbled and looked out the window instead of anywhere near her. She stopped at the end of the street.

I felt heat on my arm through my hoodie and looked down to see her hand gripping me.

"You know that's okay right?" My eyebrows scrunched together and she laughed. "It's actually better than okay. Awesome even."

"I don't think any of them would think so."

She shrugged and started driving again.

"Who cares what they think. I'm older and I know a lot more than they do. And if a friend makes fun of how you feel then they aren't your friend. Understand?"

I nodded and she turned the radio back on. It was the first time I'd ever really been alone with her but I wasn't as nervous as I'd been before we left the house. We didn't talk the rest of the way to the store and it wasn't weird. It was just nice. She even bought a whole carton of m&m ice cream after she asked what my favorite flavor was.

On the way back we joked about the teachers she'd had when she was in my grade. She also offered to help with an english paper I had due on Monday.

I couldn't help but feel excited. It seemed like she really cared about me. Even if it would never be in the way that I actually wanted, it still felt like the greatest thing in the world.

When we got back, Bella passed the living room to put the ice cream away. Unfortunately for me, the game was still going. I sat down next to Emmett who gave me a questioning look. Probably because Bella had only carried in the one bag. I didn't really know what to say but luckily she came back into the room before I had time to answer.

"All right, guys. That's enough action for one night. Your parents are gonna be here in an hour to get you. Finish your movie and say your goodbyes."

When the others weren't looking she winked at me and I knew she'd done it so I wouldn't have to kiss anybody else.

Bella Swan really was the greatest girl on the planet.