I'm deeply sorry I took so long to post another chap! I just lost the hang of writing! Forgive me.
Buuut I decided to finish this up. I hope you guys like it! I put a lot of effort in this, so please let me know what you think!!!!

***

Chapter 15. Breathing

First time you screamed at me
I should have made you leave
I should have known it could be so much better
I hope you're missing me
I hope I've made you see

And now it's coming clear
That I don't need you here
And in this world around me
I'm glad you disappeared

I feel so much better
Now that you're gone forever
I tell myself that I don't miss you at all
I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now
That you're gone forever

Gone Forever – Three Days Grace

Julie sat up straight so quickly that she felt a sudden vertigo. Sweat drops streamed down her forehead and her heart was beating fast. She couldn't know if she screamed, but the light that had just flicked on the hall made her realize she had. There was a light knock on the wooden door and it cracked a little as it was opened.

"Julie?" Mark called as he peeked inside.

He wanted to be in the same room as her, but he knew she'd never take it from the beginning. Mark wondered just how scared she was. A week passed since they arrived and every single night Julie woke him up with a startled scream. It was so full of fear that it made the hair behind his neck to stand up. He couldn't even guess what had happened to her to make her feel like this. This was so not like her. Sometimes she slept on the couch in the TV room while they were watching a movie and she'd start talking in her sleep. There were times when he couldn't understand the words she was saying, but when he could, he always listened to the same ones: no…stop…gun… Billy.

After the third day he asked her what it was all about, but she talked him out of it and changed the subject. When she was awake she was just like the Julie he had known all this time: fearless, funny, cleaver and beautiful. But when the night came and she sank down into the darkness of her sleep, she seemed to be no more than a scared three-year-old little girl.

Mark knew whose fault it was and he hated him so bad for this. Even though Julie wouldn't admit it, he was sure Billy Darley had done her worse things than he could ever imagine. So he called the police. Mark told them everything he suspected, from when the wooded guys hit him to what he was almost sure they had done to his friend. All the blame lied on Billy Darley's gang, and even though there wasn't consistent evidence, Detective Wallace knew there was a great possibility the doctor was speaking the truth. She promised to take care of it personally and instructed him to stay in the ranch with Julie for as long as he could. The gang was already being chased down for a wave of sudden cruelty around town, though the detective couldn't figure what was behind the master's anger. But Julie would never know any of that.

She groaned. "I did it again, didn't I? Mark, I'm so sorry." She apologized without waiting for his reply.

"There's nothing to apologize for, Julie. Do you want something to drink?" He didn't bother to ask what was troubling her, it was useless. For some reason she'd never tell him, and even if she did, she'd try to take off Billy's blame.

"A cup of tea would be pretty good right now. But don't worry, I'll get it myself." She started to get up but Mark stopped her with a soft restraint hand.

"Leave it." He sweetly answered as he lowered her back down to her pillows before leaving to get her tea ready.

Living with Mark was much like living with an older brother or a young father. Not that she could have known what that meant for she never had an older brother, nor a father for that matter. That thought caught her attention and made her to wonder the real reason behind her coming to the ranch. She was tired of taking care of herself, and wanted someone to do it for her for a change. She couldn't develop her new theory further because Mark arrived and started making an easy talk to calm her down. Was Mark the answer for her questions?

…

"That cop is breathing down our fucking neck, Billy." Heco cried while excusing himself for not making his duties. Billy only put up with his shit because he had connections. Good ones.

"I don't fucking care, man. We've had cops hunting our asses before. You go do your fucking job and don't get your fucking ass in trouble. I'm not superman to save every-fucking-body!" Billy stormed, what made Heco simply to nod and get the hell out of there.

Billy lied back on his abused black leather chair and sighed. The cops were really hot on their asses. The murder of the rich ass company manager had made it to the papers, not that they had any lead on Billy, but they were well known for that kind of thing. One slip and they could get busted. And Billy was fed up of Bones' shit.

"You can't do a fucking thing right, can ya?" Bones spitted on his face. They were standing, facing each other in front of Bones' desk. It was past closing time for the store, so now only the underground activity was going on. Nobody seemed to be up for some gun buying tonight.

"Do you fucking need me to teach you step-by-fucking-step?!" Bones yelled.

"No." Billy coldly replied before a gun shot echoed in the nearly empty room.

Bones' heavy disgusting body made a loud sound when it landed on the floor, soon stained by blood. Billy adjusted his postured and turned around. He left the shop with a barked laugh.

Someone from his father's crew found the body in the early morning. Of course they didn't call the police; the authority now was called Billy Darley. The boss said the body needed to be hidden. And hidden it was. The bastards who worked for his father didn't care who had murdered Bones, they only wanted to know if the fact would delay their paycheck.

"It won't if you do you fucking job right." Was Billy's answer.

"Billy!" He jumped when someone yelled his name in front of him. Joe was standing in front of his desk in The Office. He laughed in about the same way Billy did when he got to know about his father's death, and the look in his eyes didn't change when Billy said he had done it. Joe just mumbled a "took you long enough" and left.

"What, Joe?" Billy asked annoyed when he finally snapped back from his thoughts.

"She's nowhere around, dude." He sank down on the aluminum chair.

"I told you to not fucking come back without her, so what the fuck are you doing here?"

"I told you, Billy! She is not here."

"What you mean she's not here, Joe? She has to fucking be here! Did you look under her the bed? Did you ask her friends?"

"Yeah."

"And what did they say?"

"That she's gone back to Minnesota."

…

Near to you, I am healing
But it's taking so long
'Cause though he's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on
Yet, I'm better near to you.

You and I have something different
And I'm enjoying it cautiously
I'm battle scarred, I am working oh so hard
To get back to who I used to be

He's disappearing
Fading suddelly
I'm so close to being yours
Won't you stay with me
Please

Near To You – A Fine Frenzy

It's been two weeks since the night screams had ceased. Julie had no clue about this, but for the first silent three days Mark checked on her from time to time, afraid that something was seriously wrong. He didn't know if it was the country, the pure air or the horse ridings, but she was better. Much better. A part of him, a part that increased every time he saw her smile, believed that he was the reason she was getting better. And he truly was.

Julie never felt so in peace in her entire life. No tanks, no curses, no cars, no guns. The day was easily dealt with and the nights were quiet. It wasn't perfect, though. And Julie couldn't put her finger on the problem. She couldn't shut up the annoying voice that from time to time whispered something was missing. But what? Every little thing was in its place, how it should be. Maybe she just needed to get used to this, and nothing was missing at all.

Mark and Julie were on the front porch of the main house. It was just a quarter past nine. They drank a very nice bottle of wine while watching the full moon mirrored on the lake. A night bird sang softly on the background, and the breeze complimented the melody with a soft touch.

The best thing about the night was the comfortable silence between the two of them. They did want to say something, but neither knew what, or how. The bottle was almost empty when Mark finally got up. Julie followed his move with her eyes but said nothing. He made his way inside and stayed in there for a minute. When he emerged, he was carrying a small CD played in his arms. Without making eye contact with Julie, he turned it on and searched through the tracks until he found the one he was looking for.

An amused smile spread of Julie's face as Mark offered her his hand, asking for a dance. She willing took his hand and they started moving along with the soft rhythm. All of that happened without either saying a word. It was just so easy and effortless.

Why wait any longer for the world to begin
You can have your cake and eat it too
Why wait any longer for the one you love
When I'm standing in front of you

Lay, lady, lay
Lay across my big brass bed
Stay, lady, stay
Stay with your man a while

You long to see me in the morning light
You going to reach for me in the night

Stay, lady, stay
Stay while the night is still ahead
So maybe I'll stay
Stay while the night is still ahead

Lay Lady Lay - Magnet

Mark's hold of Julie was soft but secure, he didn't mean to let go any soon. And she didn't want him to. His right hand, that was once before placed on her waist, slowly made its way up through her back and stopped on the back of her neck. He looked into her eyes, searching for reassurance. And he found it. His grip on her waist tightened as he came forward to meet her mouth. Julie's hands around his neck urged him. As the song's slow melody drifted to an end, it was quickly replaced by another one of the much same kind.

Their kiss was passionate, yet slow. Julie felt him smiling and did the same in response.

Her hands gripped his strong arms as he squeezed her into his chest. A stripe from Julie's blouse fell on her shoulder as Mark placed kisses down on her throat and she jerked her head back to give him room. His hands found the fabric's edge and yanked it out, freeing her skin to be touched by his lips and the cool night breeze. Julie soon did the same with his shirt. They didn't bother to get a room. The porch was just fine.

Julie watched as Mark's big hands, a bit darker than her skin tone, left hot trails wherever he touched. Her skin looked extremely pale with the moonlight, and he groaned as her nails sank slightly on his back. Julia gasped as they became one, and let him caress her breasts while she ran her hands through his dark hair. Her tongue followed the happy trail upwards until it found his earlobe. Mark's hold of her thighs would be painful if it wasn't for the ecstasy they both found themselves into.

Rain started to fall in the middle of the night, muffling the sounds.

The first bright sun ray woke them up. They were laid on a faded quilt placed on the hard wooden floor. Soon workers would be circling around and that wouldn't be comfortable. Julie wrapped the quilt around her cool body and took Mark's hand as they went inside to lie down on his king sized bed.

Well now that it's morning,
Where do you want to go from here?
Well now that we're sober,
Are your thoughts of me more clear?
Woah now, and now that your head is right,
Did you dig last night?
It keeps playin in my mind.

Well now that you're home,
Will he be the first thing that you see?
I know you'll compare us,
How does he match up next to me?

No, now, now that your head is right,
Did you dig last night?
It keeps playin in my mind.

And I know the night was hazy,
But I still remember wakin up
And kissin your head one more time...
But for now I'll say goodbye,
Don't think we're through,
I gotta thing for you...

Well I remember layin your head down,
I remember lovin' all your sounds.

Thing For You - Hinder

Julie heard the noise in the kitchen but didn't get up. While Mark, sitting outside on the porch, thought about last, Julie, wrapped around white sheets, tortured herself. While Mark smiled at the memories, Julie left a couple of salty tears trail down her cheeks.

Why did he have to spoil everything? Why did he haunt her?

She had a wonderful night with Mark, yet she only had Billy Darley in her mind. Julie swore she'd only get up once she had it all figured out. She wouldn't inflict more pain than necessary. Not on herself and especially not on Mark.

"Okay." She breathed. Mark was tender, that was the best way to describe him. He'd never put her life in danger, he had an honest job and always played by the rules. She liked that. But it didn't seem to be…enough.

…

Joe breathed out the remains of smoke out of his lungs and tossed the stick away on the dark floor of the parking lot. Blood would be spilled if his suspicions were confirmed. He was sure of that much. He only wasn't sure if he did want to confirm his guesses. He passed through the doors and headed strait to the information corner.

"Can I help you?" The nurse behind the balcony asked with a tone that gave away she wasn't willing to help this young man.

"Yeah." Joe would have smirked at her, only he was too nervous for jokes. "I'm looking for a doctor."

"What's his name?"

"I don't know…" He had not a clue, and he couldn't give away what his purposes were either. He had to come up with a new strategy. "He helped me once and I didn't have the chance to say thanks."

"Well, I'm sure he knows it." The nurse weakly smiled.

"Yeah, but it'd do so much to…my… to my… soul, if could only thank him in person!" He snorted inside.

"Hm…" The woman looked around for someone to help her but no one met her eyes. "Do you remember how he looks like?"

Fuck, no. He wouldn't describe a man. "I only remember that my sister," he couldn't help but grin at that- he did like Julie that much, "found him handsome."

Okay, it was lame. But it worked. "Oh! That must be Doctor Mark Westling." The way she said his name made it clear no other doctor was considered attractive in this hospital.

"Yeah! Now that you said I remembered his same sounded something like that!" Joe faked enthusiasm to keep the woman talking.

"I'm sorry, but he's not here. He's out on vacations."

And it clicked.

…

"Oh! I thought you were still asleep." Mark smiled as he walked in the bedroom and found Julie's eyes wide open.

She smiled at him. "I've been awake for a while."

"Too lazy to get up?" He teased as he came closer and sat on the bed beside her.

"Yeah." She agreed.

It was silent for a couple of minutes. Julie knew if she didn't bring the subject up right now she'd be too chicken to spoil any other moment they had together. But guilt is a bitch. The moment she stared in Mark's baby blues and saw all the affection staring back at her, she got tongue tied. A hint of hope stabbed her. If they stayed there just for a little longer, Mark would be able to make her forget. She'd be able to think of him when he touched her, and Billy Darley would just be a dark mark on the past left behind for a bright future.

"Julie, I just got a call from the hospital." Mark looked down at the sheets and didn't see Julie's eyes as her breath caught up in the middle of her throat. "They need me back. Asap."

Of course. Was Julie so stupid that she thought she could hide in the ranch forever? She had a life, after all. A very messed up one, but a life nonetheless.

She met his gaze. "I knew we'd have to go back sometime. I was just expecting this day wouldn't come so fast."

Mark smiled, delighted that she wanted to spend more time alone with him. And it was true. Only part true, though. She didn't want to face the mess she left behind. A chicken, for sure.

His fingertips ran on her right cheek. "You don't need to be afraid. I won't let anything happen to you."

She smiled weakly. "I know that. I'm not scared." A chicken and a liar. Wouldn't daddy be proud of her?

But right there, on the edge of facing the memories that hunted her sleep for so long, she found what she had been looking for. The resolution. She needed to be with Mark, he was the best for her. She needed him like she needed air. That thug wouldn't make her life any more difficult than it needed to be. From now on, Julie felt no more than hate towards Billy Darley.

It was all about needing. She needed to be with Mark. She needed to hate Billy to stay way from him. What she didn't consider, though, is that need and want sometimes are opposite wishes. And you never know which will win over the other. There are times in our lives that are worth losing the breath.

…

Joe paced around the front of Billy's building. He was torn between telling or not what he had found. Truth to be told, Joe was scared shitless that Billy would kill her. He'd find her and kill her. Joe didn't give a rat ass about the doctor's life. But he knew Billy would be beyond pissed after murdering the love of his life, and then the city population would have hell to pay. Hell, he didn't care about that either! He just didn't know what to do.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck… what the fuck?! So… fuck!" He kept murmuring while kicking the dirt.

Billy should have figured this out for himself. He would have, if he wasn't so blinded by unstoppable anger. Perhaps Joe should have figured this out sooner, but he wasn't exactly the brightest mind. Shit, someone should have hinted this before. Maybe the others had, they were just scarred of finding out the truth. Smart-asses. They knew how to stay alive.

"Fuck man…" He complained again.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Joe jumped when he heard his brother's voice behind her. He didn't even know Billy wasn't home. He watched as his brother retried the abused backpack out of the car and made his way to where he was standing. "So?" Billy pressed.

"Fuck… Hm."

"Are you going to tell me or do I have to make you choke it out?" Billy threatened.

Better to get it over fast. Joe took a deep breath and made a face. "She ran away with the doctor."