Saturday, November 16, 2013, 4:51 PM

I understand what you're saying, and your comments are valuable, but I'm gonna ignore your advice. -Roald Dahl, Fantastic Mr. Fox

"Do my worst, Bella? I just want to know what the hell it was you were thinking." I open my mouth but she raises one, very well-manicured, finger. "Rhetorical question because it's obvious that you weren't thinking."

"That's not fair, Alice."

She crosses her arms and scowls. If it were any other situation I would laugh because she looks ridiculous with her angry face and bright pink designer dress.

"You want to talk about fair, Bella?" A few heads turn at her increasing volume and Jasper wraps his arm around her waist. Remembering where she is, she looks from him to me, whispering now but with just as much energy. "Do you think what you did was fair?"

"Alice, you've been friends with me for how long? Do you really think I made this decision lightly?"

She wiggles out of Jasper's grasp and comes closer, placing both of her hands on each of my shoulders.

"See, B. There's your first mistake. You act as if you were allowed to make this decision by yourself."

I close my eyes and try not to let my emotions get the better of me.

"He needs someone else, Al. I wouldn't be good for him."

I feel her hands disappear and a small pinch on my right arm causes me to open my eyes. Her big, brown ones are closer than I'm expecting and I let out a small but pointed 'ow.'

"Isabella, just because the only men you've ever dated ended up being total assholes does not mean that's all that you deserve."

"I haven't only dated assholes."

She laughs and steps back.

"Not only have you only dated assholes, but you dated the biggest douche of all for how long? Three, four years?"

"It was four and Jake was not that bad."

She arches a brow and I sigh.

"Then why did you dump him?"

"I did not dump-"

"Oh, that's right. You literally ran away. Moved to another state and let Jake keep his piece of shit ring for the next lucky lady."

I cringe because I know Jake got married last Fall and I wouldn't put it past him to have done exactly that.

"Alice, that's enough. This was not the same thing as what happened with Jake. Back then I was just out of college. I wanted a fresh start so I left Washington. My moving this time was always the plan."

We're suddenly interrupted when the band stops playing and Rosalie's mother announces that it's time to find our assigned seating for dinner.

"You can keep telling yourself that, Bella, but if that was always the plan then why did it take you five years to get your own place? Pretty convenient timing, don't you think?"

Jasper, forever the voice of reason, chooses that moment step between us.

"All right guys. You can continue this after. Bell, good luck with your speech, and just... Talk to the kid, okay?"

I nod but if the two of them know me at all, I'm certain the look on my face is far from convincing. Alice moves him out of the way and wraps her arms around me in a tight hug.

"Bella, you know I'm only telling you these things because I love you, and I don't want to watch you mess up such a good thing. You've gotta talk to him tonight. Promise me."

I hug her back just as close.

"Okay, Alice. I promise."