Saturday, November 16, 2013, 5:19 PM

I don't hear your words: your voice reverberates against my body like another kind of caress, another kind of penetration. I have no power over your voice. It comes straight from you into me. I could stuff my ears and it would find its way into my blood and make it rise. -Anais Nin, Henry and June

For a moment I see a flicker of the hurt I've caused but he quickly recovers. The alcohol in my system is catching up to me as my eyes rake over him, selfishly taking in the sight I haven't allowed myself all day. I haven't seen him in a suit since his senior prom, but I don't recall having these kinds of thoughts about him then.

"I'd like to take a moment to thank everyone who had a hand in helping today turn out so remarkably for the new happy couple."

My entire body is vibrating just from the sound of his voice. I haven't heard it in months and I have to resist the urge to close my eyes and get lost in it.

"When Emmett asked me to be his best man, it made me realize just how far we've come from those young kids who liked to try and give our poor parents heart attacks by jumping off cliffs and chasing after ghost stories."

I try to think of the first time I ever saw Edward. It hurts that I can't remember.

"We've been through a few milestones together. Some could even say that without me, this blessed union may not have come to be."

He smiles cheekily at Rose who rolls her eyes while the room gives a few chuckles. His expression softens.

"But in all seriousness... I was there the night the two of you met, and even after her older cousin had practically dragged Rosalie back to the car," he says, shooting a wink to the same bridesmaid he'd been chatting up earlier. "I was there for the rest of the night when Emmett couldn't stop asking me questions about that gorgeous blonde I'd obviously been hiding from him... Well, Rose, it's been over five years and he still hasn't shut up about you."

I laugh but at the same time I feel like my emotions are about to take an ugly turn. When his eyes are back on me it feels like everyone else has left the room and his poignant words are directed only at me.

"Love is an incredible thing, and it's not to be taken lightly. Something I think you guys are lucky to have found is the bond of friendship you have to go with it. What you've created is wonderful," the crack in his voice is almost imperceptible but I hear it, and after that his stare hardens. "When you're blessed like that, you don't just throw it away."

When his gaze turns, air fills my lungs and I silently beg him to look back at me. My heart is pounding and I wish I could take him inside my mind and make him understand. His voice was so cold and I look around at the table to see if anyone else had noticed but everyone seems to still be enraptured by him. However I notice there's one pair of eyes looking back at me; that pretty bridesmaid. Maggie cocks and eyebrow at me and I can't help but be confused. Is she back with Edward? Has he told her what happened? Would Rosalie and Emmett get upset if I climbed over the table and wiped that smug expression off of her perfect face?

I'm distracted from my thoughts by the volume increasing in Edward's voice as he wraps up his speech.

"As a great poet once said, 'To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.' Here's to Rosalie and Emmett and the happiness of married life. My congratulations and love to the both of you. Cheers."

He raises his glass and as everyone else does the same, I find myself scanning the room for the nearest exit. Maybe Alice was right about my always running away, but if there is one thing I can't do right now, it's let Edward or anyone else at this damn table see me turn into a emotional wreck.