Wednesday, November 24, 2010

What I wonder is this: how come you don't notice the time going by, and you don't think you are changing in any way, but then all of a sudden you realize that what you are thinking today is different from what you thought yesterday and that you are different from what you were yesterday-or last week-or last month? -Sharon Creech, The Wanderer

"Yep, I'll see you hopefully within an hour."

"All right, man. Let me know if you guys hit anymore traffic."

"Will do."

"Later."

"Bye, Em."

I placed my phone in the cup-holder next to me and snuck a glance at Bella who was still fast asleep in my passenger's seat. She was wearing my old UCLA sweatshirt and snuggling into one of my pillows. I couldn't actually complain because whenever she returned my belongings they smelt like her.

Kleptomania wasn't the only habit she'd developed. She'd also taken to pretending that we were together whenever we were in public. She claimed that since the "Valentine's Day Fiasco" happened, she had sworn off dating and apparently I was good at keeping the 'lemmings' away. All of the soft touches and kisses on the cheek were really pissing off Emmett, as well as driving me to the brink of insanity.

For months I'd been dying to ask her if she remembered the kiss but I was too chicken shit to bring it up. One half of me knew that realistically there were only so many more times I could wake up with her wrapped around me on the couch before I exploded, but the other half of me couldn't see myself giving that up by mentioning anything to her.

We landed in Seattle at ten o'clock in the morning and were now closing in on the sixth hour of our should-have-been at most four hour drive back home. We were celebrating both Thanksgiving and the finalization of James's adoption papers. Charlie had kept close tabs on his case after his parents had both been arrested the year before. When his fifth foster family in six months fell through, the Chief couldn't stand by anymore. It had been a long additional six months of paperwork, but it was finally over and James was officially a Swan. Bella took off work to help him move back in August and apparently they'd gotten pretty close. She was ecstatic when Charlie called with the good news.

As I pulled into the driveway, I finally nudged her sleeping form.

"Hey, B. We're here," I whispered.

She stirred slowly, visibly disoriented until her eyes landed on me. When they turned on the time they widened in shock and her scratchy voice came tumbling out.

"Holy crow, Edward! Why didn't you wake me? You must have been so bored."

Bored? No. Unbearably contemplative? Yes.

"It's fine, Bella. You were out late with Jess. I didn't want to disturb you. What were you guys up to anyway?"

Jessica worked as the manager at Bella's restaurant and from what she'd told me, she wasn't all too fond of her. So imagine my surprise when I opened the door to find them giggling and exchanging phone numbers outside our apartment at two o'clock in the morning. I'd asked her several times throughout the day what had happened but she changed the subject every time.

She sighed in her half awake state, yawning while giving me a sideways glance.

"Fine... But this is all very new so don't tell anyone." She was pointing a suspicious finger in my direction so I mimed the motion of a cross over my heart. She smiled.

"Jess asked me out for drinks to talk about business. I was intrigued so I went. She's leaving La Campagna and she wants me to go with her."

"What do you mean?"

"She wants to open her own restaurant. She wants me to be part owner and head chef."

"Holy shit."

She nodded before turning a stern gaze on me.

"Remember, you can't tell anyone."

She left the car and headed towards the house without leaving me time to respond.

As we entered, we could hear talking and laughing filtering out from the kitchen. Charlie's wife Sue stood by stove, stirring spaghetti sauce while simultaneously swatting at Emmett's grabby hands. Rose sat at the table with Charlie and James. His hair was longer than the last time I'd seen it. Shaggy blonde locks were curling out from underneath a familiar Mariner's baseball cap.

As Bella hugged Emmett and started catching up with Sue, I sat in the open seat beside the newest addition to the family.

"Hey, James. How ya doin', buddy?" He shrugged and smiled slightly. In the several times I'd tried talking to him, I was always met with very limited responses. "Are you pumped about the short break from school?" He nodded and crossed his arms over the table. I consciously made an effort to keep my eyes on his face. This was the first time I'd seen him in a T-shirt and not an oversized hoodie, but Bella had told me about the scars. "Do you have Mr. Banner for Bio?" He nodded once again and I grinned. "If you ever need help with the labs let me know. That man loved me."

"Thanks, Edward."

I resisted the urge to pat him on the back because the last time I saw Emmett try something like that he kind of lost it.

Bella sat down across from me, waving at James. He nodded at her before Sue appeared with a bowl in each hand and Emmett followed closely behind with the rolls and eating utensils. As the table had gone silent when everyone began serving themselves, Charlie started making small talk.

"So, Edward, Bell tells me your Masters program has been keeping you busy."

I nodded while spooning pasta into my plate.

"Yeah. I'm just thankful UCLA accepted me for the second time."

Bella scoffed.

"Like there was ever any doubt." I stared at her questioningly. "Oh, don't give me that look. You are the epitome of a teacher's pet, Edward."

Before I could challange her, Emmett chimed in.

"Dude, she's right. Even when you were pulling pranks in high school, you still had the teachers eating out of the palm of your hand."

I rolled my eyes.

"Even if that's true, it's not like it was up to my professor's if I got in."

"Yeah, well, I'm sure a glowing recommendation from the department head didn't hurt your cause," Bella spoke before shoving a forkful of meatball into her mouth.

I could feel the tips of my ears burning and tried to change the subject.

"I guess I was just never out to make every teacher hate me. Em already had that covered."

All eyes turned to him and he smiled around his very full mouth, leading some of his food to ooze out through his teeth. Rosalie smacked him on the back of the head.

"You better not do that when we-"

She cut herself off as a her eyes went wide and her face considerably paled.

"When you what?" Charlie voiced aloud what we were all wondering, though I had a pretty good guess as to what she was implying.

Emmett looked nervous.

"Well, I was going to wait to tell you guys because it's James's big day and all..." He looked from Bella to me. "And I wanted to talk to you guys privately... But uh... Me and Rose have been talking about finding a place together."

Bella's expression of panic mirrored my own. Before this wouldn't have been an issue, but with the talk of Bella going into her own business our financial situation was about to change, big time.

"Well, congratulations, you two... But I've gotta ask. Rosalie, are you sure about this? Have you seen this messes this kid is capable of? I'd hate to have to make an arrest for the murder of my own son."

Everyone else laughed as Rose's face broke into a small smile. Bella attempted to recover from the uninhibited dread that was written all over her face, but as her eyes periodically continued to seek mine out, I knew she couldn't shake her worries. The rest of dinner seemed to drag on. The moment everyone had finished eating, Bella had excused herself to go to the bathroom. Not a minute later, my phone chirped signaling a text from her that instructed me to answer the phone when it rang and then excuse myself to take the call upstairs. She wanted to discuss a 'game plan.'

I smiled down at my phone and felt a jab at my shoulder.

"Hey, Ed, got a new lady friend?"

I laughed as my phone started ringing. Seizing the opportunity, I waggled my eyebrows at him.

"Something like that."

"You dog!" He called after me rather loudly as I left the room.

I answered the phone before discreetly turning up towards the stairs, taking two at a time.

"You on your way?"

Before the word yes had completely escaped my lips she was pulling me into Emmett's old bedroom.

"I won't even ask about the 'dog' comment," she huffed and sat on the bed. "I'm so screwed, Edward."

I sat down next to her.

"You're not screwed, B. We can find a way to make this work." I could tell she didn't believe me. "We can. We could find another roommate." Though I knew neither of us actually wanted that. "Or maybe we can make it work just the two of us."

"How?"

She seemed so small.

"I can afford to throw down more money for rent, and maybe you can keep working at the restaurant until the business gets on its feet?"

She shook her head.

"I'd probably be too busy to work as often at the restaurant as I do now... I have some money saved up but it won't last. I don't know how long it would even take for me and Jessica to make break even..." She tapered off, sounding even more disappointed then she had when she'd started.

I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she leaned against me.

"We'll face those problems as they come. We can't worry about something that hasn't happened yet. Let's focus on the bright sides of Emmett moving out." She pushed away to look at me. "Do you know how many less groceries we're going to have to buy?"

She laughed.

"Yeah... And I can't say I'll miss the several times I overheard he and Rose sharing some... Quality time."

I shuddered. I wouldn't miss that either.

"And we won't wake up with all the lights in the apartment and the TV still on."

"Oh! And we can have movie night whenever we want now!"

I smiled and nodded but inside, the last of my dignity was preparing itself for the infinite cold showers it knew lay ahead.

"See, Bella? Everything is going to be okay."

She surprised me then by throwing both of her arms around my neck.

"Thanks, Edward. You always know how to cheer me up."

I relaxed into her arms and cautiously wrapped my own around her waist. This was one of those moments where my fantasies clouded my perception of reality. I squeezed her tighter to me. As my heart started pumping faster in my chest, I slowly pulled away, letting my cheek graze the smooth skin of hers. She was frozen, centimeters from my face, staring at me when the door burst open and she was suddenly both standing, and much too far away.

When I turned to the doorway I saw a red-faced sixteen year old boy who looked absolutely mortified. It wasn't until that moment that I noticed that while this room looked a great deal like Em's room always had, there were definitely some things out of place and that I altogether didn't even recognize.

"Hey, James."

His hand raised in a silent wave before Bella was grabbing my arm and dragging me out of the room. My thoughts were all over the place.

Did James think we were kissing? Were we going to kiss?

"Bella, stop."

I tugged on her hand as she continued to pull me toward the stairs. She stopped, steeled herself and turned around. At the look on her face that could only be described as petrified, my words caught in my throat. I stared at her, willing the fear to leave her eyes until my mouth made the decision for me.

"We shouldn't go down together, right?"

Relief spread through her features as a heavy feeling entered my chest. She nodded.

"Yeah, I'll go back down first. You wait a couple of minutes."

She let go of the hand I hadn't noticed she'd still had a firm grip on and I watched as she took the last of my hope with her.

AN: Don't hate me! I have a vacation this upcoming week so there will be plenty of updates! :)