Tuesday, March 15, 2011

There were some things that needed to be said even if the person you were saying them to didn't understand; words that must be released from their trapped place where their flapping to get out could cause internal damage. -Patti Callahan Henry, Between the Tides

This was it. I'd put up with Bella's cold shoulder for four months now. After tonight was over, and Alice and Jasper headed back to their hotel, I was going to confront her.

It had taken a lot of work to make sure we wouldn't have any money issues once she started refinancing for the restaurant, but things were steady now that we had a good rhythm going. My professors were laid back enough to know I would get everything done so working full time for Ben wasn't an issue, and Bella was still putting time in at La Campagna on the weekends.

She and Jess put the downpayment on a venue last night and she came home as excited as ever. She had rushed into the room and practically jumped on top of me. She hadn't touched me in months and the moment she pulled away from me I could tell that thought also dawned on her.

She had cleared her throat and stepped away, timidly telling me the news before excusing herself to her bedroom which she didn't come out for the rest of the night.

Alice and Jasper arrived this morning for a previously scheduled visit. Thinking the timing was perfect, Bella arranged a celebratory night with everyone at which point she was finally going to tell them what she'd been up to.

All the secrecy had led to Alice cornering me in the kitchen about ten minutes before we were supposed to leave.

"All right, Edward. Spill."

I'd gotten to know Al pretty well over the past couple of years, and while I found her slightly terrifying, I couldn't ruin Bella's night like that.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh, come on. It's practically clear as day."

What?

"Al, really-"

"Do you think I'm an idiot? The last time we visited you and Bella were all about the closeness. You might as well have been covered in velcro. Now there's practically ten feet between you at all times. 'Fess up. You guys are together. Officially."

It felt like the floor had bottomed out. I cleared my throat.

"Um, no."

She stepped backward, staring at my face for a few seconds before her expression turned appropriately embarrassed.

"But, I thought..."

She trailed off and sighed, mumbling a quick mess of words and what sounded like 'moron.'

So Bella had talked to Alice about me. That had to count for something right?

After Alice stalked away from me, I possessed a newfound motivation for going through with my speech to Bella. I'd gone over the words enough times in my head that even if I didn't say them voluntarily, they'd be bound to spill out at some point anyway.

It had been Bella's idea for us to pile up in Emmett's jeep and surprise them by showing up at the empty venue, and after her announcement we would travel to a nearby bar and celebrate over drinks.

A knock on the door signaled Em and Rose's arrival which meant we were nearly ready to leave. I took a deep breath and made my way into my room to grab my coat. When I came back out, Emmett and Jasper were laughing by the door while Alice and Rosalie were forcing Bella to spin around so they could look at the back of her dress.

It was dark purple, almost black. It ended just above her knees which were now obscured from my view as she put on her red wool coat. She never made anything easy on me.

The drive was short with Bella bouncing away in the front seat as the rest of us squeezed in the back. My body was squished between Jasper and Rosalie while Alice's little legs were half draped across my knees. She was sitting on Jasper's lap but her legs couldn't fit in front of her. Rosalie didn't seem to mind the closeness as she was too busy laughing at how annoyed Emmett seemed to be getting from having to take direction from his sister. The whole car lurched on a hard right turn.

"Jesus, Bella. Give me a little more warning next time."

I cracked a smile at that two while Rose and I shared an amused look.

"Sorry, Em! I'm just too excited. Oh, pull over here!"

He sighed and did as she asked.

As we got out and onto the sidewalk Bella was still vibrating with anticipation.

"So, guys... There is something very special about this building."

"It's got a Taco Bell down the street?"

Rosalie nudged Emmett in the ribs while whispering what I assumed was some kind of scolding.

"While a Crunch Wrap Supreme may be one draw, I'm hoping by this time next year that when you're on this block, you'd have a different type of meal in mind..."

Her smile filled me with a kind of warmth I couldn't put into words, though everyone else seemed pretty confused. Except for Jasper; he had an almost imperceptible smirk on his face.

"I would like to welcome you guys as the first guests at my To-Be-Named restaurant!"

I watched as all at one realization dawned on everyone. They practically rushed her.

"Oh my god, Bella, are you serious?" Alice squealed out before jumping on top her.

Emmett grinned and used his giant bear paw to muss up that beautifully curled hair of hers. Ever the entrepreneur major, Rosalie was rambling on about business plans and quotas as Bella laughed. I stayed several feet back, arms crossed, just observing the group of people who'd somehow become my closest friends.

Without my noticing, Jasper wound up standing beside me.

"Proud of our girl?" he asked.

I nodded.

"She's gonna do great."

He smiled.

"Yeah, I think we all know that. What about you? You'll be done with your masters next Spring. Are you gonna stay here?"

As if she could feel my gaze, Bella turned and looked at me through the chattering group around her and smiled softly.

"If she stays, I stay."

"Does she know that?"

I looked down before turning to him.

"She will. Tonight."

He threw an arm up, patting me on the back.

"Good for you, man."

"All right, everyone! To the bar!" Jasper shook his head at his wife's gleeful exclamation, but the smile never left his face.

I did all I could throughout the night to keep my nerves from getting the best of me. By the second round of drinks, everyone was much more relaxed. Emmett, who had become a bit of a lightweight since college ended, stood from the table after he finished his second jack and coke, proclaiming he too had a very important announcement to make.

"This night is all about celebrating, so I didn't want to leave out what will probably be the best thing to ever happen to me."

I looked to Rose who was smiling fondly at him.

"I asked Rosie to marry me last night!"

Holy shit.

"I just figured, when you know you know." His voice was loud and jovial until he looked down at Rose. "And I know."

Like usual, my eyes were drawn to Bella. She looked like she was about to start crying... But I couldn't quite tell if they were 'happy' tears or not.

"Oh! Weddings are so exciting! You just have to let me do your dress!"

I could almost see the wheels turning in Alice's head with designs. Back when she was still in college, she'd inherited a small jewelry business up in Seattle from an aunt. She had turned it into her own dress shop and from what Jasper and Bella had told me, she had a pretty impressive list of clients.

"Oh my god, what a beautiful ring. Is it vintage?"

"Is that Grams'?"

I looked at Bella's face to see if there was any ill will. She'd been really close with their grandmother. My attention was drawn away as Rosalie nodded nervously but Bella smiled.

"I can't think of anyone better to wear it, Ro... But are you sure you wanna put up with that for the rest of your life?" she asked nodding in the direction of her brother.

Everyone looked at Emmett who had finally sat back down.

"Why is everyone always saying that? Doesn't anybody ever wonder who could be good enough for me?" Rose raised an eyebrow and he smiled. "You know I'm just kidding, babe."

She laughed and started talking to Alice about dresses while Jasper announced that the guys would go grab the next round. The mood was light as we headed for the bar. It was busy by a week night's standard so we each took a stool, in no real hurry to get back to a table that would now mostly be dominated by the talk of the upcoming nuptials.

"Have you guys talked about when you're gonna do it?" Jasper asked as he raised a hand in the air for the bartender.

She nodded and held up and hand indicating it'd be a while.

"Rose wants to wait until she's done with her masters. And she said she's always wanted a winter wedding... So probably not for a couple years... But I just couldn't wait to ask, you know?"

I did know... But I wasn't sure Emmett was the exact person I should share that with.

When the bartender finally got to me, she seemed a little too keen on prolonging our conversation, despite still having quite a bit of line waiting on her.

"Are you from around here? You look kinda familiar."

"I am, but I've never been here before."

She smiled. She was cute. Her light hair fell in long waves against the black t-shirt she was wearing. As a few other patrons started heckling for her attention she pulled out a pen from her back pocket and scribbled something down before placing my drink on top of it. She winked and took the money I put down before attending to a group of women down the bar.

When I lifted my beer I saw several digits scrawled across the paper.

Emmett guffawed beside me and grabbed the back of my neck, effectively shaking my entire body.

"Way to go Eddyboy!"

I grabbed my drink and he took the napkin, waving it all over the place as we headed back to the table. I sighed and followed after him, hoping he wasn't about to do anything that would spoil my plans for the evening. Unfortunately as I approached that seemed to be exactly what he was doing.

"Guys, we just can't take Edward anywhere."

He tossed the evidence in front of the girls and Alice picked up.

"Oh, Tanya. What a lovely name. Was she pretty?"

I shrugged and sat down. I was too busy searching for Bella's reaction to respond to Alice's jibe. Lucky for me, Emmett wasn't so preoccupied.

"Take a look for yourself. It was the bartender."

Three sets of eyes darted over to the bar.

"Not bad," Rose commented. "But I still think slipping a guy you just met your phone number is sleazy."

"Oh, I don't know," Alice countered. "Sometimes people gotta take a risk."

She was speaking to Rose but staring at me. I took a large sip of my beer and remained silent through the entire exchange. Eventually they grew tired of talking about it when Rose and Alice decided they wanted to dance.

It didn't really seem like one of those kinds of bars but then again, they didn't really care. They were three martinis in and ready to get on the floor.

"Aren't you gonna come, Bella?"

She laughed.

"Al, you know I don't dance."

She rolled her eyes.

"What about you, Edward? Maybe Tanya has a break soon."

I shook my head.

"No, thank you. I'll sit this one out with Bell."

The rest of the group walked away and I took the opportunity to move next to Bella. She looked nervous for only a moment before covering it up with a forced smile.

"So, are you going to ask the pretty bartender on a date?"

I smiled, looking down. This was it.

"Nah... She's not really my type."

I looked back up when she started laughing.

"Edward, have you looked at her? That girl is anyone's type."

I stared into her eyes.

"Not mine."

The nerves were back, clear on her face.

"What's your type then?"

My fingers toyed with the rim of my cup while I mentally prepared myself for whatever her response would be.

"I seem to like brunettes. Preferably ones who have a hard time standing on their own most of the time."

I tried to keep from looking at her but when the silence hung between us a little too long, I stopped resisting. Bad decision. She looked like she was going to be sick.

"Edward..." She didn't want me. "You know I love you, right?" But not the way I want. "And I think you're amazing." Not enough apparently. "But I just don't think it would be... Wise... For us to be involved in that way."

Why?

"I just care about you so much... And there is so much between us that's perfect. I can't ruin that."

I couldn't tell if I'd asked the question aloud or if she just felt the need to explain herself.

"Bella... Can you tell me that you don't feel anything for me?"

Her eyebrows screwed up together and she looked away, shaking her head.

"Then I'll wait."

I'd waited long enough. Showing her how effortless we could be together would hardly be any time at all compared to what I'd already done.

"Edward, you don't understand-"

"Bella," I cut her off and stared intently at her. Her cheeks flushed and I smiled because I knew I had to have some kind of effect on her to cause that. "Don't worry about me. You're worth it."

AN: Thanks to everyone for sticking with me, and a special thanks to fallingsnow87 for making a beautiful banner for my story. :) More updates soon!