Hey hey hey!
I'm back again! This time with a prompt i received just a few hours earlier! =) I hope you like it!
Title: A man and a kitchen
Prompt: Draco is to bake/cook.
Characters: Draco, Hermione, Lucius, Narcissa
Word count: 1835
Rating: M
Warnings: Lots of cursing and reference to sex
Prompt dedicated to: MacaqueAttack713
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"Draco" Hermione's voice called.
"In the kitchen" he grumbled.
"You won't believe who I saw in Diag..." The rest of the word died on her lips as she entered her previously neat and white kitchen.
"Were we attacked by Deatheaters?" She asked, alarmed as she saw the broken dishes, the multiple pans scattered about the counter and Draco's red face.
But as she saw the flour all over her husband's expansive shirt and trousers along with food stains on the floor, she squinted as she started to understand what was happening.
The several burns on his hands, the bloody towel wrapped around his left hand, the burned pie crust in the garbage… And now that she thought about it, the house did smell like it was on fire… it all made sense.
Before long, she was ecstatic, holding onto her stomach as she couldn't hold back her laughter.
"No need to rub it in Granger" he muttered, dusting the flour off his pants.
"Did you… Were you" she hiccupped as her laughter tripled. "What on earth were you doing Draco?"
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A few hours earlier…
Malfoy Manor, 2:46 PM
"Mother… I'm merely just asking if you have any idea how to make orange duck. Would you quit laughing already?" Draco grumbled through the fireplace as his mother laughed disrespectfully at him.
"Well darling excuse me for finding your question quite funny indeed" Narcissa Malfoy said between two laughs.
"What is it with all the noise?" Lucius asked coming into the room.
"Oh nothing much. Just our son trying to cook…"
His father went livid.
"Have you lost all sense of respect for yourself Draco Lucius Malfoy?!" he all but yelped.
"Alright I'll be going now seeing as you two are unwilling to help!" Draco retorted.
"Darling" Narcissa chuckled, "You're sure you don't want me to send you an elf? Mitsy could take care of the cooking for you…"
"No thank you Mother. I'll do it on my own! Thank you for being absolutely no help!"
As he went his way, Lucius turned to his wife, concern marring his features.
"Has he gone completely mad?!"
"Oh no dear… he's merely just in love" his wife smiled.
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Malfoy Villa, 3:19 PM
After looking through all of Hermione's cooking books, Draco finally found the recipe for the Canard à l'orange his mother had been no help in providing.
Grinning like a Chestchire cat, he proceeded to read the recipe.
He would do this. He would prove to his parents that he could cook a meal without any incidents. He would be a househusband for one day and he would make his wife proud.
But skip the apron he told himself. That thing with red and green flowers Hermione had bought was downright degrading.
Setting out everything he could need on the marble island in the middle of the kitchen, Draco rubbed his hands together before setting out to cook a most delicious meal for Hermione.
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Malfoy Villa, 3:41
"Where the bloody hell is the blimy Grand Marnier Liqueur!" Draco swore, opening all the cabinets in the kitchen.
He had expected all he needed to be ready and available but he was starting to understand that it wasn't the case at all. He had already looked for the cornstarch and seeing as he couldn't find it, he had decided to do without but he wasn't so sure that he could so easily omit the liqueur.
Finding a bottle marked "Cherry Brandy Liqueur" on it, he took it out of the cupboard.
"What the hell! Liqueur is liqueur" he grumbled, pouring it into a serving spoon.
Thinking it was odd that the recipe would require he poured 3 of these big spoons filled with liqueur into the dish, he decided to add a 4th spoon just to make up for substituting the liqueurs.
The oven beeped, meaning that it had warmed up and was ready.
Taking the garlic bread out of the fridge, he opened the oven and placed it on the rack.
That's when the first burn occurred.
The top of his hand hit the ceiling of the oven and soon, a string of nasty curse words flew effortlessly out of his mouth.
Sticking his hand under the running water, he cursed some more, hoping to hell his wife knew how much he loved her.
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Malfoy Villa, 4:17 PM
The duck was in the oven.
That was one down. He had two more to go.
But before he started up on his second dish, he placed the pie crust in the oven to warm it up before he added in the fruits.
Then picking up one of the many potatoes in the sink, he dug out a knife and started the pealing process.
His hand still throbbed from the burn he had royally earned just moments ago but that definitely was nothing compared to the sting he felt just as the knife entered his left hand.
Immediately, he dropped both the knife and the potato, jumping up and down as he turned around, looking for something to stop the bleeding.
"Where in Merlin's beard is the bloody alcohol!" he barked as he opened the cabinet in the downstairs bathroom.
After a few minutes of rummaging through the bathrooms, he finally gave up and angrily tossed his hand under the water. Again.
At this point, he had no idea why he had decided to do this.
He ought to get the world's best sex from his wife later!
Picking up the potato again, he started cutting off the skin again, this time being far more careful than he had been the first time.
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Malfoy Villa, 4:53 PM
"Oh you can't be fucking serious!" Draco barked at the crust he had left in the oven for twice the amount it was required.
Taking a mitten, he aired away the smoke coming out of the oven and took out the now completely burned crust.
"So much for baking a fucking apple pie!" he snorted as he threw out the inedible stuff.
"Ok Draco… You're a Malfoy! You should be able to do this…"
After his pep talk, he placed another crust in the oven, this time however, leaving the cutting of the potatoes to stare at the clock, intent on getting it right this time.
Five minutes later, not a second more, he pulled the crust out of the oven quickly.
With a proud smirk, he applied the spiced apples as instructed on the bottom of the crust before covering it up with flour.
But of course, he had to drop the bag on the floor, resulting in having its contents covering him instead of the pie.
"Oh great! Just perfect!" he groaned, looking down at his previously black trousers. "I guess that's what would be the purpose of the damned apron!"
Getting what was left of the flour, he poured it over the pie without much care.
Once that was done, he placed it in the oven, checking on the duck that was still in there.
Seeing however as he didn't really have any idea of how to tell if it was ready, he simply poked at it with a fork and when said fork didn't go into the meat, he decided that it wasn't quite ready yet.
Going back to his potatoes, he started slicing the rest of them before dumping them in the pot to boil.
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Malfoy Villa, 5:11 PM
"How am I supposed to know what a pinch of salt is exactly?" Draco asked with frustration as he looked at the salt container.
Shrugging the question away, he tilted the box of salt and let it cover up the potatoes until he was satisfied.
"Well that should do it!" he proclaimed before he took the beater and plugged it into the wall.
Right when he turned it on and put it in the pot, the stuff started flying out into every direction.
"What the hell!" he screamed, throwing the beater away into the sink and watching in fear as it broke two plates and a glass.
But before he could attend to the broken dishes, the burning smell that had embalmed the room earlier went up his nostrils again.
"Oh what now!" he said as he angrily opened the oven.
When he saw the flames rising up from the canard à l'orange that had taken so long to prepare, he immediately went into the oven and grabbed the sides of the platter.
Of course, seeing as the thing had been in the oven for over an hour, it was only normal that the contact with it completely burned both of his palms.
"Arghhhh" he yelled as he unceremoniously dropped the platter on the floor, the hot sauce flying in in all directions.
Once more, he let out a string of curses that could easily make his mother faint.
His hands were bright red.
But that wasn't his main concern: The duck was still on fire.
Grabbing a glass and filling it up with water with his "good" hand that was wrapped in the cloth, he poured the content over the flames and watched them die furiously.
That's when he heard the front door to his house opening and Hermione sweet voice calling out his name.
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Malfoy Villa, 5:25 PM
"Stop laughing Hermione, this isn't funny" he muttered, looking at his red hands.
"Oh sweetheart… you got burned pretty badly…" she yelped upon seeing her husband's palm.
"Yes" he groaned, looking at her with pleading eyes.
"Let me see that" she said, taking out her wand.
Within a few seconds, she had dulled the pain on his hands and was now caring for his cut.
"Remind me again why you decided to cook darling?" she smiled sweetly at him.
"Today is the first day in a year that you actually spoke to me and said you forgave me for the god awful I treated you and well I just thought that I should make it special because had you not forgiven me, we would probably still be enemies…" he said like a small child.
"Oh…" she replied, tears already welling up behind her eyes. "Well then I'm sorry I laughed at you love…" she added, kissing his hand.
"Yea well you'll have plenty of time to make it up to me later" he snickered, wiggling his eyebrows.
Licking the small spot of sauce on his cheek, she smiled wickedly before she said:
"I will but Draco honey… do promise me you'll never try to cook again because if the sauce is anything to go by... you're not very good at the whole cooking thing"
"Oh trust me, you'll never see me near an oven!" he swore, annoyed at how miserably he had failed to do something a baby elf could do so easily.
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Sooo?
What did you think? Be honest, let me know! i love instructive reviews! =) Well then, you know the drill, give me a prompt/challenge/character/word count/idea/quote/ or anything else and i will try and write you something! =)
I'm off to sleep then!
Night night,
Mrs Malfoy