Disclaimer: I don't Own Torchwood.
A/N: Quick follow up to last chapter I know. I dedicate this chapter to sashaxh. I stayed up till 4:30 writing this so she could read it before she went on holiday. Xxx
This is bad.
This is very bad.
This is very, very BAD.
I turned on my heel to pace the other way.
One, two, three, turn.
One, two, three, turn.
One, two, three, turn.
One, two, three, turn.
One, two, three, turn.
I had withdrawn down to one of the corridors that lead to various rooms containing various junk or artefacts. It was freezing cold but I didn't care. I was too busy panicking.
It had been 19 hours since Suzie's resurrection and she was still alive.
I had gone home under orders from Jack to get as much sleep as possible. After ten hours of restless sleep I had accepted that was as good as I was going to get. Upon my return to the hub I had been informed by Jack that Suzie was still alive. She had been transferred down to the interrogation room but they weren't getting much of a response from her.
What the hell had I done? How could I have brought her back permanently?
It was all my fault for losing control.
It had all happened so fast and everyone talking had confused and distracted me. Now she was back for good. And it was all my fault.
I stopped pacing and lent against the wall nearest me, sliding down till I was sitting on the floor.
What was going to happen now?
"I thought you would never stop. That section of floor is about three shades darker than the rest of it now"
I looked up at the sound of Jack's voice in time to see him step out of the shadows. I walked over and sat down next to me.
"I'm sorry" I said quietly guilt laying in a thick blanket over my voice.
"It's only a floor" he said.
"You know that's not what I'm talking about" I said.
"It wasn't your fault Anna. None of us could have predicted this" he said, wrapping one arm around my shoulders.
"I could've" I admitted.
"...Meaning?" he asked after a pause.
"I knew towards the end... that Suzie was starting to direct the research onto full resurrection. Our research indicated that it could be done" I explained.
"But the research wasn't completed" He said confused.
"No... but the indications were there"
He was silent.
"I'm sorry. I completely screwed up. I couldn't keep control" I apologised again.
"Anna..." He said softly tightening his hold on my shoulders "... It was chaos in there. No one blames you for what happened"
"I bet she does" I muttered.
"She started it" He said simply.
I sighed heavily and leaned my head against his shoulder. It felt so comforting to have a strong presence holding onto me like this. I nestled against his muscled form inhaling the scent of sandalwood and spices that was so comforting. It felt nice... a strong warm presence in the middle of a cold, dark corridor.
I couldn't help but sigh again this time in content. Jack always had the ability to calm me down in stressful situations.
"Anna..." I heard him say and sat up slightly to look at him.
When my eyes connected with his I suddenly realised Jack didn't know what he wanted to say. We were so close my body leaning against his and our faces were inches apart. I felt my breathing go shallow as I became aware of our current closeness. I saw his eyes flick briefly down to my lips and he instinctively licked them to make then glisten with moisture. I thought I felt him move closer and it jolted me out of the trance his eyes had induced and ducked my head, breaking eye contact and looking to the floor allowing my hair to fall over my face.
He cleared his throat and made to stand up. I moved off him obligingly and he stood up and turned offering me his hand.
"Come on, she's awake. We're going to ask her about Pilgrim and Max"
I reached up slipping my hand into his. He pulled me onto my feet and with a warm hand on the small of my back he led me towards the interrogation room. Before we got there he stopped me at a small table upon which lay a familiar book.
"By the way I thought you might want this back" he said picking up my sketch pad which still had the sketch of the tattoo I had seen on the front.
"Oh yeah, thanks" I thanked him taking it, "by the way this might interest you" I said, ripping out the page with the drawing on it, "it's an image I took from Mark Briscoe's memories. I think it might be a tattoo this Max guy has. It looked like it was on an arm"
"You drew this from memory?" he asked and I nodded.
"It was like...Once I'd seen it... The memory stayed with me"
"I didn't know you could extract memories with the glove" he said, still looking at the drawing.
"It's difficult but possible. I experimented...It's a big energy drain but I managed to get a few things. This was one of them" I explained.
"Great job. This is really good" he said before turning to open the door.
"Jack!" I said making him pause as a thought occurred to me. "You didn't... look through this did you?"
He turned back with a smirk and I blushed.
"They're good likenesses. However... I think there's one missing. Maybe it's back at your house... on your dining room table" he suggested with an innocent shrug before turning and going into the interrogation room, scooping up a file folder from the table.
I stood frozen looking after him with wide eyes...Oh no...He'd seen it.
I shook my head, vowing to deal with it later and followed him into the room.
Gwen was already there and Jack had taken a seat across the table from Suzie who was slumped in a wheelchair. I knew if I were to walk down and stand behind her I would see the mess of matted hair that still glistened with blood around the huge hole where the bullet had exited. I shivered remembering the brief flash of pain I had felt during the first attempt at being her back. I wanted to feel sympathy...but I honestly could bring myself to feel sorry for her.
I knew she hadn't seen me enter the room. I stayed near the door, in the shadows watching through the wire mesh that separated the room from the stairs.
Suzie moaned when she realised there were people there and eventually mumbled in a weak voice that was raspy from disuse.
"How long's it been?" she asked.
"Three months" Jack told her.
Only three? It felt like such a long time ago.
"When can I die?" she pleaded with her eyes still closed, refusing to look at Jack, "I just want to go. Can't you leave me alone?"
"You seem to be stuck" Jack explained evenly.
She opened her eyes at that. The quickly flicked around the room focusing on Gwen and then flicking back to Jack as she slowly raised her head. Her voice was strong now... less pathetic.
"...Am I gonna stay like this? For how long?"
"Don't know" Gwen offered hesitantly.
Suzie threw her a glare that silenced her before looking back at Jack.
"Can I see my father?" she asked.
"No" Jack said in a flat out refusal.
"You wiped your records. We had no trace of him" Gwen explained in a much kinder tone.
Was Gwen actually being nice to her?
"So, he doesn't even know that I'm dead?" Suzie demanded.
"Well, you're not anymore" Gwen pointed out, ever the optimist.
"This is sick" she said, scoffing in disgust.
"You started it" Jack said repeating what he had said to me in the corridor, "right now, we've got an investigation underway"
He said pushing the folder into the middle of the table in front of Suzie and opening it.
"Pilgrim" he started taking the photos of the known pilgrim members and spreading them out in front of her, "you visited these Pilgrim meetings and gave an amnesia pill to someone called Max. How do we find him?"
"What for? What did he do? He was just an ordinary bloke" she seemed genuinely confused as to why we would be looking for him... but if there's anything I was going to keep in mind it was that Suzie was a great actress when she needed to be.
"We think the Retcon triggered a psychosis. He's started killing" Jack explained putting emphasis on the word killing.
"How many victims?" she asked.
" Three. Same as you" Gwen told her placing down the file she had been clutching to her. I saw it contained the autopsy photos.
"We need to know, how much Retcon did you give him?" Owen's voice crackled over the PA. Clearly he and Tosh hadn't wanted to go near her.
"Owen. Hello. Scared to face me?" Suzie snarked, looking in the direction of the speakers.
"You frighten the shit out of me, yeah" Owen admitted in a matter of fact voice.
"What about Toshiko? Is she still here?"
There was long pause after that question, clearly Tosh wasn't about to talk to Suzie anytime soon.
"Yeah, she's here" Owen said speaking for her.
"And Anna? Where's she?" Suzie asked.
"Closer than you think" I answered not moving from the shadows but now I had drawn attention to myself she could see the outline of where I was.
"Hello, Anna" she said with a dangerous smile "not wanting to come to this side of the cage."
"If I had my way Suzie you would be in a prison cell serving a life sentence but this will do for now." I snarked back.
"Alright ok" Owen cut across the brewing verbal battle "All the gang together. Happy days. But the amnesia pills, how many did you give him?"
Suzie let it go and sat back sighing before reluctantly answering.
"One a week. Every week... For two years"
Even that made me step out of the shadows and start to descend towards them.
"Christ! No wonder" Owen snapped.
"What the hell did you do that for?" Jack asked stunned.
"I just ... I wanted someone to talk to. About this place. It was driving me mad. And he was just ... he listened, that's all, he just listened. Every week, as soon as I'd finished talking, I'd give him the pill." She said avoiding eye contact.
"You overdosed him" Jack said, the simmering anger clearly heard in the subtle strain of his voice.
"I didn't know that!" she defended.
"It's not like they're painkillers Suzie! You're messing with someone's head. Surely you must have been smart enough to realise" I snapped, coming to Jack's left hand side and leaning on the table.
"That's it then isn't it?" she snapped back, the water works were clearly brewing, "keep getting it wrong, don't I? Is that why you brought me back? Did you think I wasn't guilty enough?"
"Oh stop playing the victim Suzie. You brought this on yourself. Nobody else did this. And now because of you six people are dead, we've got a brainwashed maniac roaming Cardiff and everyone is blaming Torchwood for it. You did this Suzie so stop acting like you're the wounded one"
Suzie glared at me for a long time and I held her gaze. She seemed to want to challenge me but eventually she looked away.
"What was his surname?" Jack asked sensing the defeat.
"I don't know. All I ever did was talk about me" she said bitterly, "it's all my fault, isn't it? Never bloody stops being my fault. Can't you just let me die?"
"You don't get off that easy" Jack told her with a dangerous smile.
"Yeah, you did warn me, right at the beginning" she said scoffing in disgust once again. She looked at Gwen clearly trying to make her uncomfortable, "He said, "This is the one job you can never quit""
"Then let's get to work" Jack cut her off but her job had been done as Gwen shrank back, "come on, Suzie! Just like the old days. There's gotta be something"
She briefly glanced at him before slowly pulling herself upright in the wheelchair and leaning over to look at the photographs.
"Hold on...There's someone missing. This girl came every week; student, blonde...She's not in these photos" she said, looking through them.
"Who was she?" Jack asked.
"Lucy. Lucy Mackenzie. Said she worked at a club" she said straining to remember.
"Which one?" Jack asked leaning forward.
Just then Suzie moaned and seemed to wilt in front of us. Jack leaned further over the table raising half out his seat. Suzie fell back into the settling into the wheelchair once again moaning that she was tired.
Convenient.
"Come on, Suzie? Which club?" Jack coaxed but Suzie closed her eyes. Jack became insistent, "for God's sake, this Max is killing every single member of Pilgrim. Now tell me, Lucy Mackenzie, where did she work, which club?"
"Wolf. The Wolf Bar" she moaned before fully slumping in the chair.
Gwen turned to leave the room. Jack looked after her before sitting back down and observing Suzie.
"What do you think?" he asked not looking at me.
"I think that sudden dizzy spell was far too convenient for her" I said still watching her.
"You think she's faking?" he asked.
"I don't care if she is" I said, "she's up too something and I've suddenly got the horrible feeling of a trap"
"Don't you think you're letting your previous arguments with Suzie cloud your judgement?" he asked.
"Maybe...But there's something bothering me about this. I just hope I can figure it out before another one of us gets killed"
I turned without another word and left the room.
"Don't you think you were a little harsh on her?"
I turned and faced the familiar welsh voice. Gwen had been waiting on me.
"No. I'm not going to coddle her Gwen. She's in the wrong and she should have stayed in cold storage. I don't need your opinion Gwen. You have no idea what the glove is capable of so don't try and pretend you know everything about this"
Gwen looked at me for a second before turning and stalking back up to the hub.
"Looks like I'm making friends everywhere" I muttered following her silently.
I may be making an enemy out of Gwen and Suzie...But I was never one for keeping my opinions to myself... Even if they did cause me a hell load of trouble.
I groaned as we entered The Wolf Bar. It was music that usually I would really like but my head was beating out a rhythm that was far from pleasant. The bar was hot and sweaty and filled with people. If it had been my night of and I was with Keith and Jasmine and all that crew I would be joining in but right now I wanted to crawl into bed with Owen's miracle painkillers, a soppy romance movie and chocolate.
We had left Suzie at the hub with Toshiko. They were both watching on the monitors. I felt bad leaving Tosh alone with her but Jack said that Owen and I had to be at the club because we could blend in. Jack and Gwen were more obvious but Jack had the muscle to take down Max and Gwen had been on the beat in her police days so she could handle it if a bar fight broke out.
"Any sign of Max or this Lucy Mackenzie?" I heard Gwen ask Suzie over the headsets.
"Nothing yet. Keep moving round"
"Keep alert, people. To repeat, Max is described as 40, six-three, six-four, stocky, short dark hair, tattoo down his left arm" Jack described.
"That narrows it down" I heard Owen say drolly.
"It was on the paper I gave you before we left Owen" I said.
"How did you know what it was?" he asked.
"I took it from Mark Briscoe's memories" I said quickly.
"Oh Anna you have been working hard" I heard Suzie's voice say smugly.
"Shut it" I snapped.
"Wait, I've got a match on that guy" Owen said grabbing our attention.
"Where is he?" I saw Jack on the other side of the club trying to see Owen through the mass of people.
"Northwest Bar" he said.
"Show me," Suzie ordered quickly.
I stood up slightly on a vacant stool to see over everyone and quickly spotted Owen. Jumping down I tried to manoeuvre my way over to him.
"Owen, get in closer, which one do you mean?" Suzie asked.
"Wait, he's going over for the ... wait, I've got a match on our girl, Lucy Mackenzie, the student"
"That's her, that's definitely her" Suzie confirmed.
By this point I was close enough to see Owen and the guy he was watching but I couldn't see his tattoo to know if it was him or not. I quickly scanned to see Lucy and spotted her collecting glasses... and heading straight for the guy Owen suspected was Max.
"It's too late, he's going over" Owen said quickly and I saw him rushing at the guy. I rushed from the other side getting to Lucy as the two men crashed at our feet. Lucy yelped as the crowd pulled back, the combination of the fight and quick movement nearly making her drop the tray of empty glasses she was holding. I steadied the tray for her with a hand on her shoulder and guided her quickly through the crowd that had gathered round the struggling men. There were three now since Jack had joined in.
"Thanks" Lucy breathed and I smiled.
"No problem. Last thing we need is stupid idiots impaling themselves on broken glass. You better get that tray behind the bar"
She nodded and scurried away headed for the safety of behind the bar. I turned and made my way back towards the fight.
"That isn't him!" I heard Suzie shout at the struggling men as I reached the centre of the circle. We all froze and looked around. Well if that hadn't drawn attention to us nothing would. I glanced at Gwen and then shouted.
Behind her a tank of a man was raising a knife. It was too crowded for me to throw my dagger without risking hurting someone and Gwen was in my target line.
"Gwen! Behind you!" my shout was echoed by Suzie, which for once I was thankful for. Gwen couldn't hear me over the noise of the club.
Jack however, had heard me. He sprung up as the knife reached its highest point to slash down, grabbed Max's arm and twisted it in a painful angle making him drop the knife. Then he seemingly out of nowhere produced a gun and fired it into Max's back at point blank range sending him crashing to the floor. I noted the crackle of electricity and looked closely at the gun.
"That's one for Ianto. Risen mitten, life knife and that old classic, stun gun. Come on. Let's get him out of here" Jack said triumphantly.
I shook my head laughing softly. Stun gun? Boys and their toys I guess.
"You saved my life" Gwen said gratefully over the headset to Suzie.
"Maybe I came back for a reason" she replied softly.
Yeah, that glove was the reason. And when that glove was involved...the reason was never good.
I sat on the floor opposite the cell listening to Owen asking Max questions.
"Okay, so your name is Max Tresillian, can you confirm that?"
Nothing.
"You live at 106 Endeavour Terrace, is that right?"
Nothing.
"Parents, Sandra and Dave, yeah?"
Nothing.
"You're inside the Torchwood facility"
Caged animal. He stood up growling and pounding on the security glass door.
"- and five, six ... Keep watching. Soon as we reach ten ..." Owen counted making sure Jack and I were paying attention.
Just as suddenly as Max started the rage he stopped, sat down and continued starting into space.
"Just stops dead." Owen obviously pointed out, "if this is a drug-induced psychosis, it's a very specific one"
"Like he reacts to the word Torchwood" Jack said.
I rolled my eyes and held my head as the pounding of Max's meat like fists on the door kicked the pain in my head up to about a 7.
"Thanks, Jack" I heard Owen say sarcastically and I held a thumb up in mock approval.
"Sorry" he said. He wasn't I could hear the smirk in his voice "But if that's caused by Retcon, we've got a million more problems on the way. Let me know what the scan says"
I struggled to push myself up using the wall for support and went to follow Jack out but Owen stopped us.
"But, what about Suzie? What are you gonna do with her?"
"No idea" he looked pointedly at Owen, "what do you think?"
"You're the boss" he said.
So Owen didn't want any part of this. He was happy to step aside and let Jack make the tough decisions when it came to Suzie.
Jack nodded and turned away but paused for a second.
"Jack don't-"
"Torchwood"
I growled and smacked his arm before stalking out.
"Right that's it I'm taking pain killers and a bottle of water down to the aquarium. No one disturb me unless someone's dying" I said.
As I walk down the corridor heading for the main body of the hub I suddenly felt sick. My vision tunneled before blacking out and my head felt like it was being squeezed through a vice. My legs shook and I stumbled. I put my arm out and steadied myself leaning against the wall. I blinked hard to clear my vision and took in big lungfulls of air.
"Anna?"
I felt Jack and Owen next to me in a matter of seconds.
"I'm fine" I said quickly.
"No you're not, what's wrong" Owen insisted.
"Migraine is all" I insisted.
"How bad?" asked Owen taking a small torch out his pocket and shining it in my eyes.
"About a seven but it just spiked there for a second and the bright light is NOT helping!" I swatted him away.
"How long have you had it?" Owen asked in full doctor mode.
"It kicked off a couple of hours after Suzie was brought back. It's the glove... I told you... mental mind fuck"
"Jack keep an eye on her. I'm going to see if I can find anything"
It was strange to see Owen ordering Jack what to do but in this he was the medic and knew procedures.
Jack led me the rest of the way into the hub with Owen following behind us.
"Guys I swear I'll be fine it'll fade with time" I insisted.
"We're not taking the chance" Jack said as Owen nodded and sat down at his work station.
Jack led me into his office and sat me down on the chair on the other side of his desk.
"Why didn't you say anything?" he asked.
I shrugged .
"Didn't think it was important"
Jack sat and looked at me quietly.
"Stop it" I said.
"Stop what?" he asked failing to hide the smirk tugging at the right corner of his mouth and the twinkle of knowing humor in his eyes.
"Looking at me like that"
The smirk widened showing he wasn't planning on stopping anytime soon.
"Fine but while we're here why don't you just tell me how much of my drawings you saw?" I asked.
"You were so protective over the book... I admit curiosity got the better of me" he said "although I am curious as to what inspired such a project"
"Years of reading fantasy novels" I answered, "one day I just thought of the idea. Trying to figure out what kind of creature each of the team would be"
In reality Keith and I had been people watching from a cafe. We speculated just what kind of fantasy creature random people in the street would be. We came up with everything from goblins and brownies to sprites and fairies to centaurs and vampires. It had sparked my mind into thinking what each other the team would be based on their personality traits.
"And what decided what each of them would be?" Jack asked.
"Personality and behavior" I answered.
"So Tosh was..." he started.
For some reason I liked explaining this to Jack. He liked knowing how the team got along with each other. This was a pretty unique way of caring about them.
"... A wood nymph; Down to earth, beautiful and shy" I answered.
"Owen?"
"... An elf; healing, untrusting and loyal"
"Ianto?"
"Brownie; helpful and friendly"
"Gwen?"
"Mermaid; different aspects of various legends either a) helpful friendly and happy or b) sinister and quick to judge"
"Not too fond of that one then" he commented.
"Hey I loved the little mermaid" I defended and he chuckled.
"... and me?" he asked.
I sucked in a breath. His was the most important for reasons he himself wasn't even aware of. That's why I kept it at home. He must have seen it when I had been out cold from when he stitched me back up.
I shivered remembering a soothing voice, a comforting hand pushing back my hair and the whisper of a kiss on a cold, clammy forehead.
"Yours... was..." I started slowly trying to finding the right words. It would require me to tell the story of that night... and I couldn't figure out why I connected him too it.
I jumped as the door was flung open and I winced as it banged loudly against the filing cabinet behind it...just when I was starting to relax. Gwen stormed in fuming and began pacing behind me not even saying anything.
"I had a boyfriend who used to walk into rooms like that. The grand entrance" Jack said unimpressed, "it got kind of boring. Although, he was one of twins, so I put up with it. Twin acrobats. Man, I gotta write that book. Maybe even illustrate it. I can talk for a long time, a very long time-"
"-Takes me a while to piece things together" Gwen started finally putting an end to Jack provoking speech.
"Meaning?" he asked.
"Suzie had the glove. You put her in charge of it. But tell me, Jack, did you ever ask about her father?" she asked rounding on him.
"How do you mean?" Jack asked.
"He's got cancer. He's been dying slowly now for years. And what do you do? You give his daughter the one device that brings people back to life! Is it any wonder she got obsessed?" Gwen asked agitatedly.
"Oh, so this is all my fault?" Jack asked in disbelief.
"Well, isn't it?" she accused placing her hands on the desk next to me and leaning in on Jack. I winced again as her raised voice got in closer range of me and I placed my forehead in my hands trying to sooth the ache as Gwen kept talking "Did you ever stop and think? Did you ... Did you ever look at Suzie? Did you ever ... think what that glove would do to her, did you?"
"You been talking to her way too much Gwen" I pointed out.
"You didn't talk to her enough Anna" she shot back.
"She didn't either. I'm sorry Gwen but in this you really are the new girl. Suzie is preying on the weakness that you didn't know what she was like before. She puts on this front to make her look like the victim and we're all the bad guys who didn't hear her call for help when she was alive. She never spoke about her father, never told us anything about a personal life. She got obsessed with that glove because like every other greedy human on this earth she wanted eternal life"
Throughout my speech I hadn't moved still trying to ease the ever growing ache in the back of my skull.
"You clearly didn't know her Anna. If you would just-" Gwen started.
I stood up abruptly.
"- for crying out loud just accept that for once you're wrong and you're acting out of guilt. Stop trying to make us look like the bad ones. Do you even know how much it hurts that you're willing to turn on us like this when you've known us for three months and Suzie for two days? And she tried to kill you. So stop preaching and start thinking"
I walked out of the office intending to get some fresh air. It was getting to stuffy down here. I flung on my jacket and stuck my earphones in setting the playlist to random.
Once I got out of the tourist information office I took in big breathes of fresh air. A cold night nipped at my exposed skin playfully and I felt a sense of calm descend over me. I softly vocalised along with the classical flute piece that was playing through the headphones as I walked in a relaxing circuit around the Roald Dahl Plass eventually coming to the car park the Torchwood staff used.
I took out the headphones and opened my car door. Sitting down in the driver's seat I clicked on the CD player and slid a classical CD into the slot. I closed my eyes and relaxed against the seat enjoying the cold breeze caressing my face through the open door and the soft strains of Tchaikovsky's "None but the Lonely Hearts" leaking from the speakers.
A while later a noise disturbed me. I opened my eyes and shut off the speakers. Getting out of the car and looked around for the noise. I blinked when I located it hoping the image would vanish.
Nope... Gwen was still there... with Suzie... and she was helping Suzie into her car!
"I'm taking you to see your dad and that's it, okay?"
I slammed the door of my car shut making both women jump. Gwen spun around and saw me.
"Gwen what the hell do you think you're doing"
"Taking her to see her dad. A quick visit and then I'll bring her back"
"Don't tell me Jack agreed to this" I said incredulously.
Her silence told me everything. She slammed the car door shut and went round to the driver's side.
"Look Anna you've got two options here. You can run and tell Jack or you can come with us to "babysit". Your choice"
"You are dangerously close to insubordination Gwen" I threatened.
"Well tough Suzie needs to see her father and I'm going to take her there with or without you"
I stood at the car, torn at the decision. I looked up to where I knew the nearest camera linked to the hub was then looked back at the car. Then to the camera... then the car.
Gwen was getting in and starting the engine.
I took once last look at the camera and opened the back door diving into the back seat just before Gwen pulled out from the stall.
"I must be mad. Jack's not stupid. He's gonna catch us"
Hopefully.
"Oh, you never know. We might get lucky"
My stomach clenched... maybe help was further away than I'd hoped.
Sending Failed...
Sending Failed...
Sending Failed...
I resisted the urge to scream. I had been trying to get a message to Jack for the last 45 minutes during which I had steadily started to feel worse and worse.
My headache had growing to the pain intensity that was off the scale.
My skin felt cold but I felt hot.
I felt like I was going to throw up.
I felt dizzy and weak.
Whatever was happening to me wasn't a mere migraine. It was something much worse.
The fact that I couldn't get through to anyone at the hub was distressing me even more because i was in no condition to protect myself and Gwen didn't know there was anything to be protected from.
I couldn't believe that Suzie's "we might get lucky" commenthadn't concerned her.
I had sat in the back hiding as much of my emotions as possible. I'm sure I only looked ill. I had been careful in hiding the fact I had been text the hub... or trying to. It didn't matter 'cause I had been ignored the entire time.
"A bit more colour in your cheeks," Gwen commented smiling at Suzie who smiled back at her.
"Trust me the company is doing wonders for my health" she said.
There was a long pause before Suzie spoke again.
"That night ... my last night on Earth, or so I thought ... ... before I shot myself, I shot Jack right through the head. I killed him, stone dead and then he just stood up and lived. Am I right? Did that happen?" She asked. Gwen seemed reluctant to answer but did so after another prompt "Gwen?"
"Yes, it did"
"So he can survive a bullet through the head?" Suzie asked in confusion.
"Yeah" Gwen confirmed.
"How?" she demanded.
"I don't know. He won't explain it properly. Said something happened to him a while back. He said...He said he can't die. Not ever"
"And he makes judgments about whether I'm allowed to live" Suzie scoffed, "it's all very easy for Captain Jack, isn't it?"
I resisted the urge to say anything. It wasn't easy for Jack...Was I the only one who could see the pain in his eyes? The years of suffering, during which he had lost so many colleagues and friends showed every time one of us was in danger. Every time I could almost clearly hear the words:
Not another one.
"Do you ever wonder?" Suzie asked.
"What?" asked Gwen confused at the general question.
"Who is he?"
"All the time,"
On that point... I couldn't argue.
We drove in silence again. I struggled to stay awake, still trying to get through to Jack or Tosh or Owen. I pinched myself to keep awake. Eventually I stopped trying the phone... they'd find us in the end.
"Oh, God, driving at night ..." Gwen sighed and turned the radio on.
"Oh, my God" Suzie said, looking at the radio.
"I don't know this one," Gwen said smiling at Suzie's recognition
"It's ancient. My Mum used to sing this, when I was a kid. All those years ago...Before I died"
I looked up as I heard the sounds of Suzie crying. I saw Gwen shift uncomfortably, clearly regretting putting on the music. Watching at the passenger's side mirror I saw Suzie glancing over at Gwen checking her reaction.
Crocodile tears.
After twenty minutes of awkward silence, once the radio had been turned off, Gwen spoke up.
"When you're dead...I mean, when you die...What happens?"
A now calm Suzie looked at her in a scrutinising manner.
"What do you want me to say?" she asked.
"The truth" Gwen said.
"Really?" Suzie asked.
No not really. I wondered how many times Gwen had refrained from asking Jack this question. She wouldn't have because she knew she would get the right answer.
The living shouldn't know.
"Tell me," Gwen insisted.
"You religious?" Suzie asked.
Great a religious talk. There was a reason I skipped R.M.E at school. It caused too many arguments. I vaguely listened as Gwen rambled on about a pearly white heaven that was straight out of a children's book.
"Your faith never left primary school," Suzie said partly laughing.
Wait...Had I just agreed with something Suzie said?
"So what's out there?" Gwen asked.
"Nothing... Just nothing" Suzie said simply.
Nothing?
"But, but if there's nothing, what's the point of it all?" Gwen asked.
"This is. Driving through the dark. All this stupid, tiny stuff. We're just animals, howling in the night, cos it's better than silence. I used to think about Torchwood, all those aliens, coming to Earth ...What the hell for? But it's just instinct. They come here cos there's life, that's all. Moths around a flame. Creatures clinging together in the cold"
I tried not to count how many times I agreed with that sentence. Maybe Jack was right. Maybe I was too cynical.
I winced quietly biting my lip at another stab of pain from my head.
"So when you die, it's just..." Gwen asked, still confused.
"Darkness" Suzie finished.
"And you're all alone? There's no-one else?" Gwen asked clearly not liking the answers she was getting.
See, this is why the living shouldn't know.
"I didn't say that," Suzie contradicted.
"What do you mean?" Gwen asked and even I frowned at the cryptic words.
"Why do you think I'm so desperate to come back? There's something out there...In the dark...And it's moving"
Now I really wished I didn't know.
After that conversation it wasn't long until we reached the hospital. Gwen got out of the car running into grab a wheelchair for Suzie.
"What are you up to Suzie?" I asked.
"What do you mean?" she asked innocently.
I twitched as the next spike of pain felt like I had been punched in the back of the head.
"This is all a bit too convenient," I said.
She turned around and smirked.
That smirk told me two things.
I had been right.
And
I was in danger in even bigger danger than I had originally thought.
"Have you told him yet?" she asked and I frowned in confusion grabbing the back of my head as the spikes increased in number.
"Told who?" I asked.
"Have you told Jack about your pathetic little crush on him?"
I froze.
"It's sad really. That the only emotion you could harness to bring me bring was your obsession with him. Although I suppose you would rather I say, your "love" for him? Honestly, it's like something out of a crappy romance novel... well it's a shame... if you haven't already told him...you'll never get the chance now"
It was then I registered just how well Suzie looked. She had been getting stronger... I had been getting weaker. I moved my fingers and felt dread build up like bile in my stomach. I pulled my hand forward into my line of sight.
It glistened with a substance I was all too familiar with.
Blood.
"What have you done?" I demanded angrily. The spike in energy from the anger only served to drain me further and I slumped back.
I didn't need her to tell me. I could work it out. It was being reversed. I brought Suzie back to life... so now I had to die.
A life for a life.
I was being shot in the head slowly.
I was dying.
"I'm going to take the panic in your eyes as a sign you've figured it out," said Suzie.
She slumped back just as Gwen came back into view. When she opened Suzie's door and uncuffed her Suzie spoke.
"Anna's not feeling well. She's gonna stay behind while I see my father,"
I didn't argue.
Something had caught my attention.
My phone had received a text
Tosh!
Help coming! Hold on. Suzie locked us in the Hub. Jack and Owen on their way. Roads cleared by police so they won't be long. Stay safe Xxx
I didn't argue because being left alone in the car I could phone them.
I watched as Gwen helped Suzie into the wheelchair and wheel her off into the hospital...Locking the car behind her.
Once I saw them enter the hospital I clicked number 1 on my speed dial.
"Hello?" asked the voice on the other end confused at who could be phoning them in a crisis like this. I nearly cried with relief at hearing that voice.
"Jack!" I said frantically.
"Anna!" I heard both Jack and Owen shout in relief.
"Anna what's happening?" Jack asked quickly.
"Suzie and Gwen have gone into the hospital...And...And I'm dying" I said trying not to let my voice break.
"Anna, you need to stay calm" Jack said keeping calm probably for my sake.
"Jack...I'm scared" I whimpered, "I can feel the bullet even though it's not there. The back of my head is bleeding. I'm replicating the wounds she had. I'm being shot in the head slowly. And it fucking hurts!"
"Anna we're coming to get you. We're going to stop this I swear to you"
"How long have I got Owen?" I asked my voice starting to break.
"Long enough for us to get to you" he assured me.
I didn't fully believe him but it felt better to accept that response.
"What happened? I tried to get you through the phone" I asked.
I didn't really care. I just wanted to hear them speak. To hear their voices...If it was going to be the last time.
As they explained the whole situation I couldn't help thinking about all the things I regretted.
Not being closer to my parents.
Not having that girly night with Hinode.
Not singing on stage one last time.
...The way I'd handled my situation with Jack.
I felt myself getting weaker with each passing moment as Suzie drained my strength. Suddenly a movement caught the corner of my eye.
"Oh no" I breathed.
"What is it?" Jack asked instantly.
"Suzie's coming back...Gwen's not with her and Suzie's walking," I said starting to panic.
"Anna keep calm. We've got a tracker on the car. We won't lose you. We're catching up" Jack assured, although I heard the definite rumble of the of the SUV engine as Jack pushed it to its limit.
"Hurry" I pleaded before shutting off the phone before Suzie saw.
I watched as she hurried to the car and jumped in the driver's seat. She started the engine and tore out of the car park.
"What did you do?" I demanded although it sounded pathetically weak, "where's Gwen?"
"Sleeping with a bump on her head" she snapped "Now pipe now little girl, the grownups are talking"
I didn't get what she meant at first until she lifted a phone to her ear, driving with one hand.
"Did you like the poem, Jack?"
I tried to pull myself up and grab the phone but I was too weak to even do that. Besides I would most likely assist in crashing the car then I might as well be dead. I kept quiet and listened trying to conserve what little strength I had in case I had to struggle later.
I listened as Suzie tried to justify her actions to Jack. Telling him that he still had the new amazing Gwen Cooper and what was left of me would live on through her. I heard as she started getting desperate and tears started rolling down her cheeks.
"Because life is all, Jack. You should know. I'd do anything to stay. Anything,"
I thought she had hung up but she stopped to say one final thing.
"She's a real fighter this one. You always knew didn't you Jack? That's why you gave her my job. You stole her normal life. Now I'll steal what's left... Jack, I'm sorry,"
She hung up and flung the phone down.
In the silence that followed I did what any scared 19 year old girl would do.
I cried.
It was morning by the time I felt the car rumble to a stop. I felt the door open and I nearly fell out the car.
"It's beautiful, Anna. Can you see?"
I couldn't...The darkness was closing in on me. I struggled as hard as I could as Suzie dragged me out the car.
"It's such a beautiful sight Anna," she said gleefully as she dragged and pulled me along with her.
With a great effort I tried to grab a hold of her neck.
I was violently twisted round and grabbed by the front of my jacket. Somewhere not too far away my mind registered the skid of tyres screeching to a halt and a familiar engine rumble cut out.
They'd found us!
I struggled again and forced myself to try and open my eyes. I could only manage a few millimetres but it was enough to see Suzie's manic, gleeful gaze in front of me.
"Safe journey" she whispered and kissed my forehead.
Then she got further away.
Further.
And further.
And further.
It wasn't till ice cold penetrated my body that I pieced things together.
Suzie had been running, heading for the coast.
I gasped for air and instead was suffocated by oppressing darkness.
...Suzie had pushed me off the harbour.
...Into the ice cold water.
...To drown...
I'm sorry.
I cried out in fear.
Everywhere around me was black.
I couldn't see my own hands in front of me.
I was alone.
Completely alone.
A noise to my right startled me.
Maybe not so alone then.
"Hello?" I called out into the darkness.
I felt something cold and clammy brush my back and I jumped.
"Who's there!" I demanded reaching for my dagger... it wasn't there.
A cold, chilling laugh torn through my lungs like iced air.
"Soon" a voice growled, "soon..."
A pair of arms grabbed me.
I screamed.
I jumped screaming out in terror feeling like a bolt of lightning had shot through my system. I struggled to get up, panicking as a pair of arms wound tightly around me holding me down. I screamed and struggled even more.
"Anna! Anna! It's me," I heard a familiar voice shout.
I looked up startled to see Owen holding me close, his clothes, hair and skin were dripping wet. A shiver went through me as the cold breath reminded me of my similar state. I looked at Owens face before all the pent up emotions fell out in one big massive breakdown.
I threw myself into his arms and sobbed. I cried and screamed in fear and relief, fighting away the lingering terror.
I don't know how long I cried for but I was aware at some point a warm weight was draped over my frozen, shivering body. The scent of spices and sandalwood infused my senses... Jack!
I was scooped up into a pair of strong arms and carried past yelling police officers and wailing police cars. But none of it mattered as I cried and whimpered.
I cried and cried and cried.
Until, finally my tears led me away to a dreamless blanket of sleep.
I moaned and struggled as I slowly regained consciousness. The light tried to fill my sight but the darkness kept pulling me back.
No! Must fight! Can't let the darkness win!
I struggled and kicked and screamed until a pair of strong hands wrapped round my shoulders and shook me violently.
"Anna, wake up!"
My eyes shot open and I was relieved to find myself staring into a face I never thought I'd see again.
"Jack?" I whispered gazing in wonder at his face.
"Hey..." he whispered back looking down at me with soft brook water blue eyes. "It's ok now. It's over. Suzie's dead"
I blinked as the memories started flooding back to me.
"You made it," I rasped as my throat protested anything above a whisper.
"I promised I would" he said, smiling and sitting back helping me into a sitting position.
I looked around.
I was in my room. The light quality told me it was probably late afternoon. I looked down at myself. I was in my bed in only my underwear and Jack's greatcoat wrapped around me and under my bed covers.
"We're making a habit of this," I remarked, clearing my throat and forcing it to work. I picked nervously at the covers well aware of my state of undress.
I had meant for it to be funny but I looked up when I failed to hear him chuckle.
He was sitting on the edge of my bed, his elbows resting on his knees and his knuckles white with tension. His mouth was set in a firm line...He looked...Worn out.
"Jack?" I asked softly trying to indicate I wanted him to tell me what was wrong.
"I'm sorry Anna" he said, not looking at me.
I didn't need an explanation. I pushed the covers off me crawling towards him, hampered slightly by the weight of his coat.
"Hey...You got there in time" I said wrapping my arms around him as best I could in the awkward position we were in.
"Barely" he muttered "Owen thought he was going to lose the battle. Even if we destroyed the connection, you still weren't breathing because of the water in your lungs"
"Shot in the head and drowned in the same day? Beat that," I said smiling slightly.
I just wanted him to laugh.
He didn't.
"Well I'm alive because Owen is the wonderful doctor you knew he was so there's nothing to worry about" I said sliding off the bed and walking over to my wardrobe. I opened the oak furnished doors and extracted my black silk dressing gown.
After a brief moments hesitation with Jack in the room I unwrapped his greatcoat and slid it off my shoulders, placing it on the desk next to me. I pulled on the dressing gown still not looking at him but something made me pause as I tied the knot in the fastening.
"Jack...Is that what you always see...When you die...The darkness"
He was silent for a long time before quietly answering.
"Yes"
I looked down at the belt and continued fastening it until it was secure before turning back round to face him. I blushed as I saw him looking at me intently. I walked over holding his coat and handed it back to him. He laid it wordlessly on the bed next to him and then looked up at me. I stood close to him looking down at his pain filled, guilt ridden eyes.
"Please" I begged reaching out to cup his jaw, "don't blame yourself. I'm fine"
The pain and guilt didn't fade.
One of his hands reached up and touched my cheek softly. Slightly calloused fingers traced over my features. My forehead, cheeks, the bridge of my nose, my eyelids...My lips. Every part of my face was touched by those exploring figures. It would like he was memorising my face.
I looked at him silently allowing him to do so.
"I'm sorry" he said again.
"I forgive you" I whispered.
Then with a brief moment of hesitation I cupped his face with my other hand, leant down and placed my lips on his.
I kissed him with all the passion I had felt for him. Trying to wordlessly show him how often I had wanted to do so. I wanted him to feel the regret I had felt when I had realised I was going to die without kissing him myself.
Jack didn't waste a second in raising his hands and burying them in my hair kissing me back with a dominance only he could manage. I moaned as he brushed his tongue over my lips and I opened them allowing my tongue to enter into a battle of control with his.
He won outright and his arms moved to my waist carefully, yet skilfully guiding me back down to the bed. He lay on top of me, his weight pinning me to the bed as he ravished my mouth with his tongue. His hands caressed my face and neck making me moan and arch into him. He gently drew away from the fierce battle of dominance until the rough, harsh kisses had been replaced by gentle, soft ones that trailed from my mouth, down my throat and up the side of my neck. My head lolled to the side desperate to give him more room. Jack gently placed one last kiss on the corner of my mouth and pulled back looking down at me.
I opened my eyes looking hazily at him. I could only imagine what I looked like. My lips swollen from our kissing and my cheeks flushed with arousal. My hair was probably a bed head mess considering the water it had last been washed in...But none of that mattered with Jack on top of me...Looking down at me like I was... Special...Special to him.
He smiled softly and rolled off me but didn't get off the bed.
I lay next to him, curled up against his warm, muscled form. I breathed deeply inhaling the scent I had come to love so much.
Silent security.
It could have been a minute...It could have been an hour...It could have been 4 hours.
Whatever the timescale, I didn't care.
Eventually I felt the pull of sleep again and I yawned widely. Jack's chest rumbled with a deep chuckle.
"Go to sleep Anna"
"Stay with me" I begged.
"I'm here" he reassured.
I settled down and started to succumb to the pull of sleep when Jack spoke again.
"By the way Anna...Will you ever tell me...About the drawing?"
I was silent... but one hand clasped around the silver pendant that always hung there. I felt the comforting shape of the familiar adornment and smiled softly.
"Maybe...maybe one day," I mumbled before drifting off into a sea of intoxicating scents, ever changing blue eyes, warm soft lips...
...And dark blue wings.
A/N: Hope you liked. Please reveiw (reveiws are my life. seriously im so sad they're the only thing i keep on the first page of my inbox)