Helga takes the stage now. I'm going to break the order a bit and have Gerald and Rhonda next. Then do Arnold and Phoebe last since they aren't present
I don't think I've ever felt so empty before. Sure I've felt depressed before, upset, broken, but Brainy was always there to help me put the pieces back together. I've never felt this way before though, so numb. I got my hopes up when the doctor told me he was stable. Even sitting next to his broken body lying on the hospital bed I kept hoping.
Gerald came bay later in the day, having heard the news. I forgot that he and Brainy were friends. Perhaps not best friends, but good enough. He wasn't looking too good either. We've both been through hell and back. Though I feel worse for him than myself. After all at least Arnold and I had a sit down. Phoebe just vanished the next day. I think she went to Maine. She used to talk about having family up there, maybe she decided to give them a visit?
I'm not sure and honestly I don't give a damn. To think such a sweet and kind person could turn out to be so…horrible. I lean in to Gerald and close my eyes, feeling another wave of tears coming on. I'm glad he's been around. It's good to have someone to talk to that came make me smile if only for a moment.
Rhonda and I have gotten close, it's just sad that it had to happen like this. Truthfully, she isn't as bad as I used to think she was. Looking over at her and Curly I know that she's feeling the same pain I am. I called Arnold yesterday to tell him what happened. I told him not to come. That it would be better if he stayed away but that I would pass on his condolences to Brainy's parents.
I must have spaced out a bit because now Curly is up, talking about Harold. That makes me feel somehow worse. Harold was a good guy, a great guy. We didn't hang out often but when we did it was fun. He acted like a bully but inside he was soft as a marshmallow and wouldn't hurt a fly. I'm going to miss him too.
Not too much longer and now it's Brainy's turn. Like Rhonda spoke for Harold – or tried to – I have to speak for Brainy. I sit up a bit and wipe my eyes. "You can do this Helga." Gerald says softly and gives my hand a squeeze. I manage a halfhearted smile and go up to the podium. I don't say anything for a minute, and it feels like it stretches, but then I find my voice. I talk about how kind Brainy was, how he was so one of a kind. A man of extreme patience and a smile that lit up a room and lit up my world, that made everything better. I talk for a few more minutes before the tears start again. I squeak out a quick 'thank you' and go back to my seat as Curly takes the stage.
Gerald wraps his arm around my shoulders in a gentle hug. "You did great." He murmured. I just manage a nod and look up as Curly talks-about how he and Brainy bonded, about the laughs they shared and the trust they had in one another. I feel like my world has completely crashed around me, but I also know that a new beginning is just around the corner. I can feel it, and I know it's what Brian would want. He wouldn't want me to stay depressed- he always liked seeing me smile. So I'm going to try to stay positive and try to be a better person. I'm going to try for him.