Yay, I'm back again! So this chapter is kind of a filler, not much actual plot line involved, but eh?

Hope you enjoy! :)

….

There had been many times in Kurt Hummel's life when he'd thought he might lose his dad.

This first time – the first he could remember, anyway – he was probably only five or six. It was October and him and his dad had gone to Walmart to buy some last minute Halloween decorations. Getting stuff ready for Halloween was usually his and his mum's thing, but she hadn't been feeling too well the last couple of days and Kurt had insisted that they just couldn't wait any longer. So him and his dad had gone off to Walmart, just the two of them.

He'd spotted a really good looking pumpkin the next aisle down while his dad was trying to remember what fake spiderwebs his mum usually buys. He'd run over to it, unable to believe that he'd found the perfect on so quickly; his mum would be so proud of him when he got home. He picked up the pumpkin, glancing around to make sure that it wasn't a mean trick being played on him and someone was actual going to jump our and snatch it from him. But when he got back to the decorations area, his dad wasn't there.

His dad was gone.

If you ever get lost, just stay where you are... his mum's words ran through his head.

So he stood there in amongst the fake spiders and the vampire costumes, clutching onto his pumpkin like his life depended on it. He probably last about two minutes before he started to cry. He could see people looking at him as they walked past, but only one lady stopped.

"Sweetie, are you okay?" she'd asked as she started to approach him.

But then she'd been pushed away and his dad was running towards him and enveloping him a hug.

"Kurt, don't scare me like that again!"

"I'm sorry," he sobbed. "I just – wanted – to get – the pumpkin."

He'd held onto his dad's hand in a death grip for the rest of that day.

The next time he thought he'd lose him not not even a year later. Turns out that Halloween his mum hadn't been just regular sick, because she never got any better, She'd died the following August.

He'd never seen his dad cry before; well, not really cry. And he didn't know how to make him feel better, which made him feel even worse.

He was worried. He didn't understand what his dad meant when he said his mum wasn't coming home. Was his dad going to leave too? His mum had been crying a lot lately, and now his dad was crying a lot. What was he supposed to do if his dad left too? He was only a kid; he wasn't even at school. He couldn't take care of himself. He didn't know how to use the stove, and he was only allowed to use the oven if his mum or dad was watching him the whole time. What would he eat?

When he'd asked his dad whether or not he was going to leave as well, he'd been assured that he wasn't going anywhere. And he could sleep soundly after that.

It was a while until it happened again. He'd just started high school. And he'd just come to terms with the fact that it wasn't just a phase, that he was, in fact, gay.

Having always had an open relationship with his dad, he knew he couldn't keep it a secret from him for much longer. But he was terrified. Admitting it to himself was one thing, but admitting it to his dad was another thing entirely. He'd heard all the jocks at school, using the words "fag" and "poof" as an insult. What if his dad felt the same way? What if he started calling him those names with that same tone of disgust as the bullied did at school? What is he was ashamed of him? What if he kicked him out on the streets?

These worries circled around in his head for weeks. They ate away at him until, one day at dinner he just snapped, "I'm gay, Dad."

His dad had just looked at him with a small smile, nodding more to himself than anyone else. "Good to know you've finally caught up."

And then it happened again about six months later. He'd come out at school maybe two months earlier. It had started out as simply just a slushie every other day, and then there was the shoving, and then he found himself lying in the school dumpster, surrounded by yesterday's leftover macaroni and cheese.

This time he didn't think he was going to lose his dad. He thought his dad was going to lose him, because in that moment, he honestly thought he was going to die. He couldn't move. His insides hurt and his head ached and he felt like he was going to throw up.

But he hadn't died. His geometry teacher had heard the jocks laughing about what they'd done, and after checking every dumpster in the school, he had finally found him.

He didn't tell his dad what had happened. He'd just given him an especially long hug that night.

But this time it was completely different. Those other times seemed trivial compared to this. Because this time? This time there was an entirely real and possible chance that he may actually lose his dad. That his dad might die, because he was having a heart attack, and heart attacks do actually kill people.

The next 24 hours passed in a complete blur of tears and anxiety. He remembered calling 911. And then having to follow the ambulance to the hospital. And the a really, really, really long time sitting in the waiting room.

Once his dad was in a stable condition and was settled in a room, they were allowed to see him. They could relax a little, but not entirely. There was still danger and a very real possibility that he could have another heart attack, but for now, they could relax a little.

Offering to get coffees to give himself a chance to clear his head, Kurt set off for the hospital cafeteria. It was already 5:00pm, and it wasn't until that he'd realised he hadn't eaten all day.

He had almost reached the cafeteria, wondering whether he should bring some food back for Carole and Finn, when it hit him.

His body went cold with guilt and he felt tears spring to his eyes as his legs turned weak and he sank down against the wall.

He was supposed to meet Blaine today.

….

I know, another cliffhanger - I'm sorry!

Okay, a couple of things.

One, I've only ever been to America once and I was like 10 so I don't remember much and the only shop I remember was Walmart and it was nearly Halloween and it was like WOW, Halloween overload in there.

Second, I really wish I could draw because the image of little baby Kurt standing there with his pumpkin would be so freaking adorable.

And third, if you wanted to check it out, I wrote a one-shot based off spoilers for 4x04 (if you haven't heard the spoilers and don't want to hear the spoilers, DO NOT READ IT!). It's called Not A Dream and it's mostly just a whole lot of angst and then a bunch of happiness, so have a read of that if you like.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter. If you did, leave a review :)

Em xoxo