This was a chapter I had planned for a while, but I decided to save it for later since it would be funnier.

Month 7

"Ugh..." Germany mumbled, rubbing her eyes and sitting up as she was awoken from her deep sleep. "Hmm..." after glancing around the room to check for intruders or ghosts, she settled back on her pillow and closed her eyes. Beside her, Italy let out a small, exhausted "ve".

For a while, Germany laid perfectly still, her chest rising and falling rhythmically. She was just about to drift back asleep when suddenly-

"Oof!" she breathed, gripping her belly tightly as the muscles suddenly tensed up. It lasted for much longer than she would have liked, and it was far too intense for it to be a kick from the baby. What could it have been?

Her immediate thought was labor. After all, she knew enough to know that contractions felt similar to that. But...she was only seven months along! She couldn't be in labor, she couldn't be!

"M-maybe...maybe it was just a...a cramp, o-or something..." she shook her head and tried to calm down. "Yes, that's it..." she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. After all, it wasn't going to do her any good to panic. "Ah!" she moaned as the "cramp" came back, this time longer and stronger. "No...no...not now, please!" she groaned, throwing bowing her head. "Please baby, not today...please?" it only responded by kicking her directly in the bladder. "Jesus!"

Well, there was only one thing left to do. Panic.

"Italy! Italy, wake up!" she cried, shaking him roughly. The little Italian stated awake with a small yelp. After seeing it was only Germany, he sighed with relief and relaxed a bit.

"Oh, phew! It's just you, Germany! I was having a really bad dream about monsters and-"

"Italy! Italy, I'm in labor!" she cried, shaking him again. Italy's face drained of all cover as his mouth fell open.

"O-oh..." for a moment, he stared at her in horror before she doubled over again and whimpered softly. "Cazzo! Cazzo! Merda!" he yelled, jumping out of bed and racing to her side, taking her hand and supporting her as he helped her out of bed.

"S-slow down Italy!" she yelled.

"Cazzo! Cazzo! Ca-a-zz-o-o!" Italy seemed to be in more of a panic than Germany. Luckily, however, his shouts had woken some of the other men of the family.

"Italy, what the fuck are you shouting about?" Prussia muttered, yawning and rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"Prussia! Prussia! You've gotta help!" Italy cried, dancing on the spot. "I need you to drive me and Germany to the hospital right now!"

"W-what?! Why do you need to go to the hospital?" Prussia asked suspiciously.

"Italy! Hurry!" Germany groaned, another contraction hitting her. "Ah!"

"Jesus Christ!" Prussia yelled, rushing to his sister's side as it hit him. "Luddy! Luddy, are you okay?!"

"Just...please help me!" Prussia nodded and led her down the stairs, instructing Italy to wake the others, which he did by knocking on their doors as loudly as possible.

"Nī-chan! Japan! Wake up! Wake up! It's an emergency!"

Prussia threw his sister's coat around her shoulders and the grabbed his own, pulling his car keys from his pocket. With lighting speed, he flung open the door and dragged Germany to his car, the others close behind him.

It must have been quite a scene; two hysterical Italians both cursing a blue streak, and a frightened Japanese chasing after them.

"Here, I'll drive!" Japan offered. Prussia threw him the keys and held open the door for Germany. Italy and Romano clambered into the backseat of the car and each took one of Germany's hands. Prussia was seated in the passenger's seat, barking out directions to Japan, who drove as fast as (safely) possible.

"I-Italy!" Germany cried, tears pooling in the corners of her eyes. "I'm...I'm scared...I'm so scared!"

"Sí, bella, me too! But don't worry," he smoothed her hair back and kissed her forehead, his own forehead wrinkled with worry. "You'll be okay, I promise! I won't let go of your hand! And neither will Romano, okay?"

"O-okay—son of a bitch!" she cried again as the painful clench came again, causing her to gasp for air. "Japan, please hurry! I don't know how much longer I can do this!"

"H-hai, we are almost there!" he wasn't lying. In less than five minutes, they had pulled into the hospital parking lot, and Prussia and Italy were busy helping Germany out of the car while Romano called for a doctor. "You two take care of her while I find a place to park!" Japan yelled, starting the car back up and pulling away from the emergency room entrance.

"Here, I got this! And I got a doctor!" Romano yelled, still in complete panic. He pushed a wheelchair towards the trio, and then wheeled Germany into the waiting room like a maniac.

"Uwaa! Romanooo! Slow down!"

Doctor Victors was a nice enough man. He had seen how much of a panic the family was in, and so he did his best to be soothing and calming.

"Alright, everyone just take a couple of deep breaths. Everything is just fine; I deliver dozens of babies each day, and thousands of women give birth each day. Your wife is going to be just fine, sir." everyone nodded, but no one objected to Germany being called Italy's wife. "Now then, I'm just going to check your vitals, see how dilated you are, and if you're ready for drugs." as Dr. Victors checked everything, he asked a few questions. "Has your water broken yet?"

"N-nein! I just woke up to these...cramp things, and they got a bit worse. I thought it was labor." Germany answered. Dr. Victors smiled and chuckled softly before turning to everyone and placing his hands in his pocket.

"Aha. That explains everything. Mrs. Vargus, you aren't in labor." everyone stared in shock.

"What?!"

"No, you're not. You're merely experiencing the infamous Braxton Hics, which are false labor pains. You aren't dilated at all, and if they really did start an hour ago like you said, you would be at least a little dilated."

"Ve? Braxton Hics?" Italy murmured. "Oh yeah! I remember reading about those! The book said that they should feel uncomfortable, but they aren't really anything to worry about!"

"Right." Dr. Victors agreed. "Well then, I'll get a nurse to show you out and sign some forms." the three men nodded, sitting down next to Germany and all sighing in relief.

"Jesus Christ, I just about had a fucking heart attack." Prussia muttered.

"Ditto." Romano grumbled, his head buried in his hands.

"I was kinda looking forward to meeting our little girl though..." Italy said, smiling sadly. The others nodded in agreement, and the fell silent for a while.

"I'm back! I found a spot, finally! What did I miss?!" Japan yelled, bursting into the room.

"Well," Prussia chuckled, "have we got news for you."

Ha ha ha! Trolled by a baby! I guess they'll have to wait a little bit longer for their prinzessin. ;)

Sincerely,

SausageMahoney98/Fagan