Washed Up

A/N: Hazue gives Kaidoh some advice on Momo's birthday.

Authors: Celianna (Hazue) & Happiestwhen (Kaidoh)

Rating: K+

Events leading up to this log:
- Set a couple of hours after the last log, before the fire dance
- Hazue has been a bit of a blabber mouth to Momo and talked to him quite a bit, letting it slip that Kaidoh is always making a lot of presents for a certain someone

Date: July 23, 2012

Hazue sighs as he ties his shoelaces into a knot, sitting on the sand and watching the ocean in front of him. Kaidoh told him to go running , and he'll pick him up soon. Hazue doesn't know what the rush is all about, since he simply wants to celebrate Momoshiro's birthday. Doesn't his brother want to do that too? Hazue was sure his brother would want to celebrate Momoshiro's birthday, so he's a bit thrown off by the idea of running.

Maybe his brother just has a bigger surprise in store. Who knows.

A little bit later and Hazue sees Kaidoh appear at the horizon. He smiles and waves at him.

Kaidoh is relieved that Hazue listened to him and got off the computer, because had he stayed there talking to Momoshiro for a moment longer, Kaidoh's pretty sure he would have unwittingly spilled at least a dozen of Kaidoh's most mortifying secrets. The thought alone is nauseating.

But running will take his mind off of it. Running solves all problems.

He jogs over and nods his head in greeting. "You ready?" he asks.

Hazue taps at his shoes and nods his head. "Yup." He stands up from the sand and gives his brother a good long stare.

"Uhm, are you sure Momo-nii-chan is okay with you running today? It's his birthday after all, I think he wants to spend it with you."

"What?" Kaidoh looks at Hazue like he's grown a second head. Why would Momoshiro want to spend the day with him? Momoshiro just likes hanging around Kaidoh because he can easily insult him or make him do things, not because he actually likes being with him. Kaidoh's pretty sure of that.

"No, he doesn't," he says flatly. Then he sticks his hands in his pockets and, despite himself, asks, "Why... Did he say he did?"

Hazue shakes his head innocently. "No … but he looks like he wants to. Or at least, I think he's expecting some kind of present from you. Have you given one to him already?"

Momoshiro seemed pretty happy at the prospect of receiving gifts from Kaidoh, and that makes Hazue smile a little. He knows of all the secret presents his brother has been making over the years—whether he had actually given them to Momoshiro or not, that was still a mystery. Hazue believed he had, maybe, he was sure Kaidoh had given him a scarf during that one Christmas at least. But whether he gave them or not didn't seem to make Kaidoh any less happy, he always seemed content making it, albeit a bit nervous. And Hazue likes it when his brother is expressing happiness, in his own grumpy little way.

"You should definitely give it to Momo-nii-chan if you haven't already," says Hazue sternly. As if he's the one lecturing his older brother. Maybe if Momoshiro receives his present, and he'll be happy, Kaidoh will probably be even happier. Hazue wants this to happen, for sure.

Kaidoh shrugs. "I gave him something this morning," he says, his voice gruff and dismissive. "Sort of … It's not important." He thinks back to why he called Hazue out to run in the first place and adds, "You don't have to talk to him about that kind of stuff, you know."

"About what kind of stuff?" asks Hazue, completely innocent and oblivious.

"Uh. About..." Kaidoh pulls his hand out of his pocket and opens and closes it a few times, like he's searching for a way to gesture his meaning. "Presents..." he says eventually, but that's not really what he means, not entirely. He stuffs his fist back into his pocket and hisses at the ground. "Me."

Hazue tilts his head to the side, and gives him this confusing look. "What do you mean …?" Does Kaidoh not want him to talk to Momo about him? "I won't say anything bad about you! Never!" he quickly says—maybe Kaidoh thought he was saying dirty stuff behind his back!

"I only tell him nice things," says Hazue. Which is true, Kaidoh only does nice things, and he's proud of his brother because of that.

That's exactly the problem. Maybe they seem like nice things to Hazue, but to Kaidoh they are each one of them shameful secrets he wishes would stay hidden forever. Momoshiro can never know those things! Kaidoh can't even imagine what he'd say. What he'd do. How much of a creepy stalker freak he'd suddenly think Kaidoh was. Is.

"But..." Kaidoh starts. He doesn't know how to explain to his brother without just … explaining everything, which is impossible since Kaidoh isn't even sure how to explain it to himself. "But," he says again, "Momoshiro doesn't care about that stuff. He thinks it's weird." Although Kaidoh gets the impression that it's quite the opposite and really, Momoshiro cares way too much. He's always prying. He seems to think it's funny to find out embarrassing things about Kaidoh, or just make him embarrassed in the first place. It's like a big joke to him.

Hazue wonders why his brother can't really seem to find the words. He hasn't made it a secret how much he liked Momoshiro—he's always doing things for him, or looking up information about him. Well, back then at least, when they still had contact. Hazue thought Kaidoh really looked up to Momoshiro, and that they were friends. So why would Kaidoh think that Momoshiro would find it weird to hear about the nice things Kaidoh did for him?

Isn't that what friends do?

Then again, he knows his brother isn't all that great at expressing affection, nor is he that great with words either. Maybe he misunderstands, and thinks Momoshiro would find it bothersome. But it didn't seem like that when Momoshiro seemed eager to know what Kaidoh does in his free time. He seemed very interested, in fact. So Hazue doesn't really know why Kaidoh would think that.

"I don't think that that's what he thinks, Kaoru-nii-chan," says Hazue slowly, and carefully. As if it's fragile information and needed to be handled with care. "I think he likes knowing about you. I mean, you two are friends, right?"

Kaidoh frowns. "I don't know," he says honestly. He's never really thought of them as anything like that. He doesn't really know what people have to do to qualify as friends, but surely he and Momoshiro wouldn't fall into that category.

Rivalry is easier for Kaidoh to understand. He wants to fight with Momoshiro and be better than him. That's simple. So that's what they are: Rivals. And Kaidoh likes it that way, maybe in part because people can have many friends, but a person can only really have one rival.

"No, we're not friends," he corrects, but smiles a little as he says it.

This thoroughly confuses Hazue, and he has this dumbfounded expression on his face. They're not friends? But Hazue thought they were … was he wrong? But his brother likes Momoshiro! And Momoshiro didn't seem to be bothered by Kaidoh at all. He might have been staying there for only a week, but Momoshiro was there too, and they acted pretty friendly with each other. Not to mention Kaidoh gave Momoshiro rainbow roses (as always he's doing something nice for him!), and apparently Momoshiro had made Kaidoh that blue pillow he sleeps on.

If that's not friends, then what is it?

"Well, he definitely likes you, and so do you! So that makes you friends, right?" says Hazue. "Or have you never told him you like him?" Is that why he said they weren't 'friends'? Because they never actually said it out loud? Well, that's silly then, and they should correct that as soon as possible.

"You should ask him to be your friend then!" Hazue smiles widely at his brother. "I'm sure he'd say yes!"

Kaidoh's mouth scrunches up. There's no way he could ever say that out loud to Momoshiro. He'd laugh in Kaidoh's face! Kaidoh can't ask to be his friend and he definitely can't tell Momoshiro that he … No. Kaidoh isn't going to do that. They don't like each other. His brother his crazy.

But there's also a hopeful flutter in Kaidoh's chest, because Hazue sounds so sure, and he finds himself asking, "You think so?" in a very quiet, low voice.

Hazue raises his eyebrows and nods his head. "Of course! I mean, I don't think he'd say no—who'd say something like that?" Momoshiro seemed too nice to flat out say no to someone's request to be friends. Especially if they actually kind of already are. So Hazue is sure nothing bad will happen.

He shakes his head this time. "No, I'm definitely sure he'd say yes, and I'm sure he already thinks of you as a friend. But if you don't know, you should definitely ask him!" Because Kaidoh having friends would make Hazue one happy little brother. It was always extremely hard to get him to socialize, and he only ever seemed to be interested in Momoshiro anyway.

"Besides, you want to be, right?" Hazue smiles at Kaidoh. "You want to be friends." Obviously, otherwise he wouldn't keep catching his brother late at night on his laptop, hovering the mouse over the 'add friend' button on Momoshiro's Facebook profile.

Kaidoh doesn't know what he wants. But friends is at least easier and less embarrassing to think about than the many other things he and Momoshiro could be together. Mostly though, Kaidoh just thinks about being with Momoshiro just the way they are, whether that means friendship or not. But he can't tell that to his brother. It sounds too weird, and his brother already knows too much.

"I guess," he says flatly. Maybe he does. Maybe it's a start, anyway. It's still not something he'd say to Momoshiro's face.

"That's good. You should tell him before his birthday is over—it'll be extra special." Maybe he can convince Kaidoh to go ahead and tell him now. "Or you could do it now if you want." And forget about running. Hazue is rather hopeful.

"I'll be supporting you!" From the back! Waaaay back!

Kaidoh's eyes go wide. "... Now?" he asks, startled. "I … No, I can't do that now." Or probably ever.

Hazue simply nods his head enthusiastically up and down, and he slips around Kaidoh, standing right behind him. He starts giving him little pushes in his back so he can go back to the hut. "Yes you can! Just go over there and ask him if he wants to be your friend."

It almost feels like Hazue is teaching a four year old little kid to make friends, but this is his big brother, who is twenty one years old instead. A lot older, and older than him, no less. But that's fine, if he needs to give him a push to make friends, then that's what he'll do. Maybe he'll have a talk with Momoshiro later. When he's not busy escaping his running punishment.

Kaidoh digs his heels into the sand and then turns around. "I've never..." he starts, his voice low and conspiratorial. "I can't just say that to him."

Hazue stops pushing once Kaidoh turns around. "Well …" he says, not quite sure what to say. Say it for him? Go over to Momoshiro real fast and say 'hey my brother really likes you and wants to be your friend'? That doesn't sound like such a good idea, it's something his brother needs to do alone.

"How about you … I don't know, maybe you can practice saying it out loud. Or write it down and hand it over to him if you're too nervous." Hazue grabs Kaidoh's tank top and looks up at him hopefully. "But you don't have to be nervous! There's nothing to be nervous about at all, I'm sure you two are already friends." And not just some stalker fan. "So it should come out naturally. Or you could simply ask him if you are already his friend. That works too."

It's hard for Kaidoh to imagine anything coming out naturally if that's the topic. It would be easier to punch Momoshiro in the face than ask him if they're friends. Actually, punching Momoshiro is always easier than talking, but punching Momoshiro wouldn't get his point across super effectively, and Kaidoh already punched Momoshiro once today and it's his birthday after all, so maybe he should stop doing that.

He hisses. "I don't know if it's such a good idea," he says, by which he means, it sounds a little terrifying, and weird, and he thinks Momoshiro will just laugh and call him an idiot for saying something so stupid. The thought alone makes Kaidoh want to run.

Oh. Weren't they going running?

Hazue lets go of Kaidoh's shirt and he pouts at him. "But he likes you, you know." Or at least, the comments he's had with Momoshiro indicated that he found Kaidoh very amusing, and at least seemed pretty friendly with him.

He hadn't seen anyone else be friendly with Kaidoh, so if Momoshiro did it, he's just scoring bonus points. There's just no way it would be a bad idea.

"And you like him too, right?"

Kaidoh looks away. "I don't hate him," he dodges.

"So … you like him?" asks Hazue again.

Kaidoh grumbles, then shoves his hands in his pockets, then hisses.

No matter how many years Hazue has lived with his brother, hissing has never meant either a yes or a no. It wasn't really any kind of word, so Hazue doesn't really know what Kaidoh is trying to tell him.

"Can't you just … write it down? If you're too nervous to say it aloud." Like a cute little note.

Writing it down feels worse somehow, more permanent. Like he can't ever take it back.

"I'm not nervous," he says. He is. "It doesn't matter," he adds. It does.

"Well I guess I could ask him for you ...?" Hazue was grasping at straws here.

"No!" Kaidoh practically shouts. "I mean … No. I can do it." He can, can't he? It's just Momoshiro. It's just a stupid question.

This makes Hazue smile once more. "Okay! Then go ask him when you see him again." Preferably now, then Hazue doesn't have to go running. "I don't mind if we skip out training so you can go ask him."

"Training is important," Kaidoh replies simply. "We shouldn't skip it." And running will help him clear his head, which is currently buzzing with a mental image of him and Momoshiro … being friends, an idea so vague that in Kaidoh's mind it's simply the two of them sitting there smiling. He shakes his head. That's stupid. It's idiotic. It won't go away.

He needs to run, and so he does, breaking off into a jog and assuming Hazue will follow after.

Not having it in him to disappoint his brother, Hazue starts to trail behind Kaidoh after all.