Washed Up
A/N: this is a log that I wrote to signify Momo's realization that Kaidoh likes him. It spans for a week until he comes to a sort of conclusion. Happiestwhen and I wrote out one of the days together as a regular log as well, which will be inserted here as well.
Authors: Celianna (Momo, Hazue) & Happiestwhen (Kaidoh)
Rating: T
Events leading up to this log:
- To give everyone on the island something to do, some people decide to hold an island Olympics, to coincide with the real Olympics happening out in the real world
- They've built a shoddy tennis court, and Momo took the opportunity to compete with Kaidoh as doubles partners
- Hazue is horrified at the prospect of training for the Olympics (he'd die from Kaidoh's training), and he pretends his ankle is sprained and Kaidoh believes him
- Momo continues to ignore Ryoma, and likewise for Ryoma
- The day set before this log, Momo decides to go running in the morning with Kaidoh for once, but immediately regrets it the next day when his muscles ache
- A few hours before this log starts, Hazue talks about keeping pictures on his phone, and Momo questions him how well he knows Kaidoh's phone, to which Hazue says he's transferred a lot of pictures from the computer to Kaidoh's phone for him (Kaidoh doesn't know how to)
- Momo is embarrassed that Hazue might have seen the picture of him with his shirt off, to which Hazue says he understands Momo's goofiness, and lets it slips that the last time he transferred a picture of Momo to Kaidoh's phone, was right before Kaidoh left for America
- Momo realizes Kaidoh's been hogging pictures of himself on his phone, and he's been doing it continuously and recently
- All throughout this week, Momo is becoming more and more agitated with Kaidoh's running, and calls him a running freak all of the time
Date: August 19 through August 25, 2012
August 19 - Sunday
There's something on Momoshiro's mind. It's usually food, or the need to sleep, or some kind of stupid thing that no one cares about—sometimes it's about Echizen—but this time, it's a bit more complicated than that.
Momoshiro avoids thinking about complicated matters. He prefers simple things, straight-to-the-point, things that don't make him restless and anxious, and most of all, terribly confused. And that's what he feels right now, terribly confused.
Only just an hour ago, while commenting on Kaidoh's brother's post, he found something out. Well, he already knew from back on the day of his birthday, but it seems there was more to it than he thought. On his birthday, while browsing through pictures of Kaidoh's phone, Momoshiro had found the pictures he sent to Kaidoh years ago. It seemed he had kept them all this time. That was already worrying enough, and weird, and just super confusing, and Momoshiro wondered what the hell Kaidoh did with those pictures, but he figured—it was in the past. Kaidoh liked him back then, so Momoshiro gets why he'd have pictures of him.
He still doesn't know why they're still on his phone though.
But that's not the thing that really confuses him. It's that Hazue had implied that Kaidoh had a lot more pictures of him. Recent ones. He said something about transferring pictures of Kaidoh before he left to Florida, and Momoshiro know that this is very recent. As in, the same year still. They lost contact back in 2007, which is when Momoshiro had also sent his last picture, but in 2012 Kaidoh was still putting pictures of him on his phone?
Where'd he get those kind of pictures anyway? Is Kaidoh taking pictures of him while he sleeps? Did Kaidoh secretly stalk him all these years that he thought they were ignoring each other?
Momoshiro doesn't know how Kaidoh has access to pictures of him that he didn't sent, but trying to question this makes his brain boil over, so he figures he focuses on the reason why Kaidoh would have more pictures of him.
He can only think of one thing: Kaidoh still likes him. The snake still has a crush on the peach. Or perhaps the feelings returned, or whatever—Momoshiro feels short of breath just thinking about it.
So that makes two people who like him now? And why did it have to be two guys?
Not to mention one is supposedly his best friend (whom he's ignoring), and the other is supposed to be his rival (and nothing more!).
Well okay, so maybe Kaidoh doesn't like him, and Momoshiro is just imagining it, and Kaidoh is collecting pictures of him for blackmail. That's something he'd do, right? That's what Momoshiro would do, so it could be possible. So Momoshiro doesn't know for sure if Kaidoh does like him.
Though he's pretty damn sure that if he asks Kaidoh, right to his face, that he'll get punched. Maybe in the balls. Ouch.
But then how will he know? How can Momoshiro find out if Kaidoh does or not? Not that he's really interested in it … he just wants to know for confirmation. Yeah. It's not like he'll be happy if Kaidoh likes him again. It's not like this will make him feel lightheaded and sweaty—those are from pollen allergies. He just wants to know so that … so that …
Damn, he had a really good reason just a second ago.
Well, whatever. Momoshiro doesn't need a reason. He just wants to know if Kaidoh likes him. Because … he's his rival. Or maybe they're not … and that freaks Momoshiro out, because they've always been nothing but rivals. What if that changes? What if he can't do stupid stuff anymore with Kaidoh, simply because they want to compete with each other? What if he can't get into fights anymore, because Kaidoh 'likes' him too much to hurt him? Ew, that's gross, Momoshiro feels like he threw up a little in his mouth thinking about that.
The bottom line … if Kaidoh likes him, will things change?
But Kaidoh didn't change back then … when he first liked Momoshiro. Or at least, he doesn't think so.
So maybe he's just worrying over nothing. If Kaidoh likes him, well, that's his own problem. As long as he still acts normal, and as long as Momoshiro can still punch him in the gut, then it's fine. As long as he doesn't start acting like Echizen—calling him hot, and talking about a guy's floppy dick—then yeah … it should be fine. Maybe.
He has to find out first though.
And Momoshiro doesn't know how—he can't just ask. So he'll have to find out another way.
Which he still hasn't thought of (he doesn't like to think about complicated matters), so Momoshiro wings it. He'll find out if Kaidoh likes him, one way or the other.
Except Kaidoh is basically busy the entire day, running his stupid marathon for the Dumbnuts Olympics. It's stupid, Momoshiro thinks it's stupid, and he calls Kaidoh stupid right before he leaves.
"You're the only one running," he says.
Kaidoh simply hisses and starts his marathon. He'll get automatic gold for being the only participant (thank god Hazue's ankle is busted so he won't run to his death as well). It's sad, it's kind of lonely—does Kaidoh really like running that much? It's insane, he seriously needs to stop running so much. Running that much, especially out in the hot sun, and for an entire day, just can't be good.
And not having Kaidoh around him at a moment's notice is weird, because Momoshiro needs to find something out.
Kaidoh finishes his 5-hour damn marathon, and Momoshiro can't wait to pester him again. And call him a running freak.
He ends up asking Hazue to play cards with him, then baits Kaidoh to come join too, and it surprisingly works out really well. It was so easy getting Kaidoh to join, by telling him he could build a house of cards better than him, which was always a good way to get Kaidoh riled up and agree with anything he proposed. Because if there's something Kaidoh can't say no to, it's a challenge.
Or he just can't say no to Momoshiro, but that feels weird, and probably isn't true.
Probably.
Then this idea hatches in his head as he looks at the queen of hearts. What if he can test the waters with Kaidoh? What if Kaidoh goes along with anything he says, because he likes Momoshiro? If that is true, then there should be an easy way to find out. If Kaidoh likes him, then he won't reject anything Momoshiro proposes.
"Stick this card on your head," he says. "Let's see who can get a card to stick on their head the longest."
Momoshiro slaps a card against Kaidoh's forehead.
If Kaidoh likes him …
Kaidoh the grumpy snake argues with him, tells Momoshiro it's stupid, and he's not going to do it. He takes the card off his forehead and flings it at Momoshiro, who dodges it like a ninja.
"Well, then I win," he says.
Kaidoh mumbles something under his breath, but slips a card out of the deck and presses it against his forehead.
Momoshiro feels a weird cool feeling crawl over his spine. Ignore it. It's just a fluke. He's just really good at manipulating Kaidoh. This doesn't mean he likes him. It doesn't … does it? He does actually end up winning this stupid made-up game, because his forehead was so sweaty, that card wouldn't have fallen off unless there was a hurricane. Kaidoh sulks around, and wants a rematch. Hazue keeps giggling like he knows something.
It makes Momoshiro wonder—does Kaidoh ever get enough of competing with Momoshiro?
He picks the cards up they used for their stupid challenge, and now they're playing Go Fish. Momoshiro shoves the cards in his face, to hide himself from view. He peers over the edges of the cards to Kaidoh, who momentarily looks up at him, and quickly looks away. That's not something he imagined, right? Why is this making him nervous as well. Stupid Kaidoh. Why can't playing cards be simple.
Why can't Kaidoh just come out and say if he likes Momoshiro or hates him.
Momoshiro breaks his record that day, his house of cards is seven stacks high. Well, it was, until Kaidoh felt like ruining it by taking out the bottom card with his annoying hissing. He did it on purpose, Momoshiro is sure of that.
August 20 - Monday
The next day, Momoshiro wakes up alone. This shouldn't bother him, but it does. It bothers him every day. Kaidoh is always up early, and he's left the hut before Momoshiro can even turn over in his sleep. Not only that, Kaidoh comes home late at night, when Momoshiro is either asleep already, or so sleepy he doesn't even remember it. It's annoying. It's starting to piss him off for some strange inexplicable reason. Why can't Kaidoh get up like a normal person, and go to bed like a normal person? Why is he always running so damn much? Why hasn't he dropped dead yet from over exertion?
It makes Momoshiro feel bored, really bored. He wakes up alone, and he's got no one to talk to or to pester. It feels exactly like his lonely apartment, except he had a cactus. A cactus was better company than Kaidoh was. At least the cactus won't suddenly run away, or start to develop feelings for him.
Do cacti have feelings ...?
Momoshiro spots the marker he used for drawing on his birthday lantern, lying half underneath the rug that Akutagawa gave them. Or Kaidoh, whatever, this is not really Momoshiro's 'home'. It'd be silly to call it home. That would mean he is sharing a home with Kaidoh, and that would actually mean Kaidoh would have to be there with him for it to be a home. But Kaidoh isn't there, he's off running.
Fucking running freak.
Annoyed at this terrible morning, Momoshiro reaches for the marker and pulls the cap off. If this is supposed to be his home, then it damn well will be. He'll make it his. He positions himself on his makeshift bed, then he puts the tip of the black felt against the wooden wall. The wood has splinters and comes off loose as Momoshiro drags the marker against the wall, writing 'Momo was here' right on the wall that was 'his side' (Kaidoh had the left side). It feels almost therapeutic to mark his territory like this. Kaidoh will probably call it stupid, but whatever. It's his corner.
He draws a peach next to his name. It sort of looks like a heart. Why do peaches look like hearts? He adds some leaves to the peach, but now it ends up looking like a bow, a heart wearing a bow, how girly. So girly, Momoshiro feels he must do something manly, so he writes 'AWESOME' right above his bed. He doesn't notice he spells it wrong, because right now Momoshiro is in the zone, he's keeping his mind off of complicated matters he really doesn't want to be thinking of, so he just keeps on scribbling.
And scribbling …
Until he realizes he's on Kaidoh's side, and he's drawing stupid cat faces, and fish (who is watching Kaidoh, Momoshiro knows this freaks him out), and he writes Kaidoh's girly name on the wall as well. He puts a small tiny little snake-like figure at a more hidden spot, as if it's a secret. And it feels stupid once Momoshiro realizes what he's actually doing. Why is he on Kaidoh's side? Why is he drawing cat faces (which look suspiciously the same as the cat face on Kaidoh's pillow, that he drew as well)? This feels stupid. Kaidoh is stupid.
So he writes 'dumbass' right next to Kaidoh's bed. Then he draws an arrow pointing at Kaidoh's bed, just to get the message across.
Momoshiro leaves to go gather food and water—he knows when he'll return Kaidoh will punch him for finding out. Well, it's his fault anyway, he shouldn't be running every day. He should wake up at the same time as Momoshiro does. Then they could say 'good morning!' to each other, and maybe Momoshiro can start the day off with a classic insult fight. That sounds nice to wake up like that.
And doesn't Kaidoh like him anyway? He'd probably secretly like his scribbles on the walls.
As expected, when Kaidoh finds out, he rages about it on his journal. Momoshiro doesn't know what's his deal, because he thinks he did awesome at drawing those cats. He should be a professional artist. It's Kaidoh's fault he did it anyway, because Momoshiro was looking for a distraction, and Kaidoh (whom he needed to be distracted from …) wasn't there to provide a distraction. Momoshiro's brain twists into a knot as he tries to think of this logic; he doesn't want to think about Kaidoh, so he wants to spend time with Kaidoh to take his mind off of it?
Well.
It makes sense to him.
Regardless, it's all Kaidoh's fault he drew on the walls, and it doesn't look bad. And who the hell really cares; it's just a hut. But Kaidoh acts like it's some kind of terrorist act, like some kind of blasphemy on his hut. Momoshiro even gets into a stupid fight with him about running too much. It really is all Kaidoh's fault; he shouldn't keep running every morning before the sun is even up!
But when Momoshiro returns to the hut that day, he only notices big smudge marks on the word 'dumbass' and the stupid fish he drew. It didn't wash off (permanent marker!), so it just looks really dark and black. It almost looks scary, like this dark cloud of doom hanging over his bed, and this makes Momoshiro smile, since he knows Kaidoh gets scared fast.
He's also smiling because he left the rest of the scribbles alone. The cats and 'Kaoru-chan' are untouched. And knowing that Kaidoh does seem to not mind these, makes Momoshiro's brain twist into two big knots, and he can't wipe the smile from his face either.
"Why did you leave the rest alone?" he asks. He's forgotten about their earlier fight.
He's got better things to do, Kaidoh says, and the marker wasn't coming off anyway so he gave up.
But Momoshiro doesn't believe Kaidoh's lie. That's simply an excuse, he thinks—Kaidoh liked what Momoshiro drew. Because Kaidoh likes Momoshiro.
Maybe.
August 21 - Tuesday
That's when it really starts. What was first simply some annoying nagging thought on his mind, became something Momoshiro had to solve. He needs to know, he needs to know if Kaidoh likes him.
There's no reason why (there probably is), he just wants to know. He can't stop himself from wanting to, nor can he stop himself from going full-out into manipulative mode. Momoshiro is good at reading body language, an expert at small subtle cues. Which is exactly what he does with Kaidoh. He's scanning his every move, calculating his every intention, all for the sake of finding out, if Kaidoh Kaoru has a crush on him.
He's acting like a damn high school girl.
Whatever.
So either way, Momoshiro wakes up early, just when Kaidoh does. He wants to run with Kaidoh, he's got a plan to put into motion. And maybe it might be a little bit because he wants to wake up in the morning and Kaidoh is actually there for once. He set his stupid alarm clock on his watch to 4 AM, and when he wakes up, Kaidoh is already dressed and ready to go. Freak.
"To prevent myself from scribbling on the walls out of boredom again," he says, when Kaidoh looks at him skeptically.
The snake mumbles, but seems to be okay with the idea. He's probably a lot less grumpy than he looks, Momoshiro notices. Especially when he notices the subtle, very subtle, movement in the corner of Kaidoh's lips.
"But," says Momoshiro, as he grabs the back of Kaidoh's shirt to stop him. "I'll only run this morning with you, if you sleep in tomorrow with me." It's a fair trade Momoshiro thinks. He needs to stop and rest a bit (and didn't he run a marathon the other day?).
Kaidoh hisses and sputters, and calls Momoshiro a moron then runs away.
But he didn't actually say no, so Momoshiro runs right after him.
He knows Kaidoh runs a lot, it's not even bright outside and it feels like it's nighttime, so Momoshiro has this crazy idea that he'll pretend he can't go on anymore, and stop running. And then, if Kaidoh really does like him, he'll stop running too, and take Momoshiro back home. Maybe.
They've been running for an hour non-stop, and Momoshiro's insides feel like they're burning, and he might just need a new liver and kidney. He barely even has to pretend to be exhausted and out of breath, because he really is. Kaidoh is running ahead of him, he's not even looking back. He can see the trail of footsteps the stupid idiot left behind in the sand, and it's what he focuses on instead. This is stupid. Why is he doing this? Why is he doing this ... this … test?
It's almost two hours later, when Momoshiro collapses against his own will. He was going to fake this entire thing, but he really can't go on any further. He doesn't know how Kaidoh does it, he really must be some kind of robot. His insides must be made out of metal, and he's running on solar power, because Momoshiro sure as hell doesn't know how else Kaidoh is able to run that much without any effort. At least Kaidoh sweats, he sweats a lot, and he's running against the wind, and Momoshiro smells that sickly sweetening smell, and it's not helping his dizziness go down.
He's panting, he's heaving, he's sitting in the sand, crawling towards the ocean to cool himself down. He needs something to drink, something to rehydrate himself, because Momoshiro feels like he's going to pass out any second now. He's seeing black dots dance around right in front of his eyes. He doesn't even know if Kaidoh noticed he stopped running, that idiot was probably way ahead by now, leaving him behind.
Of course Kaidoh doesn't like him.
Something that sounds like his name fills his ears, except as it grows closer, he realizes it's not his name, it's 'moron'. Momoshiro can barely tell what's going on as Kaidoh rushes to his side, dunks his body into the ocean—ahh, that felt refreshing—then pushes the tip of a plastic bottle against his lips.
He's an idiot, a true moron, why run that much if he can't—Kaidoh just keeps on insulting him, and Momoshiro gulps down most of the water. The black spots lessen a bit, but they're there. He looks up at Kaidoh, and he looks even scarier now that half his face is clouded in dark spots. It looks kind of funny.
Momoshiro feels kind of funny, and it's not because he's on the brink of passing out.
"Running freak," he mutters when he catches his breath. Momoshiro closes his eyes and flops back into the sand. "Take me home," he says.
It's their home after all.
He's an idiot.
He's a moron.
Kaidoh keeps repeating those words over and over, and Momoshiro tunes them out. He's only really thinking about one thing.
That his plan sort of failed, but Kaidoh did come back for him.
The bonus point?
Kaidoh is carrying him back to their hut. While of course, insulting him with every word in his insult vocabulary, all the way through. But Momoshiro is half aware, and he's pressed up against Kaidoh's sweaty back, and he smells sweet, and this feels like back at the U-17 camp, and all he can think about is that Kaidoh liked him back then.
And maybe he likes Momoshiro right now too.
Maybe.
August 22 - Wednesday
Kaidoh is in his bed when Momoshiro wakes up that morning, and this makes Momoshiro happy, for about one second, until he smells it.
Kaidoh's sickeningly sweet sweat.
He gets up and saunters over to Kaidoh's side, then kicks the side of his blanket. "You liar," he says. "You went running anyway."
Kaidoh upholds that he is not a liar, because Momoshiro never heard him say anything. Which is true, but still, he silently agreed to it. To which he says Momoshiro said nothing about running, and only sleeping, and then calls him a dumbass.
Already pumped up in the morning (but secretly glad he didn't wake up alone), Momoshiro is holding himself back from getting into a physical fight with Kaidoh straight away. He walks back over to his spot, then digs through his backpack and pulls out a long red cloth. He flings it at Kaidoh.
"Your punishment," he says. "You'll have to tie that bandana for me because you went running."
Kaidoh is reluctant, but he does tie the bandana on Momoshiro's head. He also calls him an incompetent baby who can't tie his own shoelaces as well. But, whatever, Momoshiro will let it slide, since he's feeling a little tingly whenever Kaidoh's fingers brush over the back of his neck. It's almost like he's doing it on purpose.
When Kaidoh is done, he tells Momoshiro that this is the last time he'll tie it for him, because he should know by now, and he's an idiot.
And that feels like a challenge.
Kaidoh can't resist him, right?
"Sure," he lies.
Several hours later, Momoshiro finds Kaidoh on the beach. The bandana is in his hand, and he shows it to Kaidoh.
"Got stuck on a treebranch," he lies.
If Kaidoh can't resist him …
Within a few minutes, the red bandana is back on Momoshiro's head. Followed by more insults about being an idiot, and this is really the last time he'll do it. Sure Kaidoh … whatever he says.
"I fell down a hill," he lies. Kaidoh looks at him like he's the biggest moron on earth, and clumsy as well. But Kaidoh ties his bandana for him again.
"A fish got caught in it, I had to take it off," he lies once more. Kaidoh looks horrified.
"A banana fell on my head."
"Karupin tore it off."
No matter what ridiculous excuse Momoshiro comes up with as he clutches the red cloth in his hands, Kaidoh would retie it. He'd be completely grumpy, and struggle, and call him all sorts of things (mostly being an inept retard), but Kaidoh would still tie the bandana for him.
And Momoshiro was getting a kick out of it.
He sort of likes that tingly feeling when Kaidoh's finger brush over his neck again and again. It's sort of addicting.
Later on, Momoshiro gets some hair gel from Shiraishi's sister, and he didn't notice it contained glitter until it was too late, and in his eye. He had called Kaidoh for help immediately, and surprisingly, Kaidoh was there within a minute.
He stills remembers it crystal clear ...
"Ow, fuck!"
Momoshiro was having a bad day. He was having a relatively okay day (what with getting Kaidoh to keep tying the bandana on his head), but right now, it's just a really horrible day. A little while ago, Momoshiro had scored some hair gel from Shiraishi's sister, and in the present, he was putting it on his hands, and in his hair, spiking it up, and then he rubbed his eyes and …
The gel contained glitter. And the glitter is in his eyes now.
And it burns—god it burns!
"Kaidoh!" whines Momoshiro, rubbing at his eye as he stumbles outside of the hut to meet the snake half-way. There's tears streaming out of his left eye, and the entire area looks inflamed and red. He's pretty sure his eye looks completely red as well. It really stings!
Kaidoh looks up and is momentarily distracted, not by Momoshiro's eye, but his hair, which is spiked up into his familiar style. Only this time it's … sparkly. When he moves, the sunlight catches his hair and the glitter in it and Momoshiro looks, for lack of a better word, dazzling.
It looks really stupid, so Kaidoh glares at him. He can't force himself to stay glaring for long though, because Momoshiro also looks totally miserable, the left side of his face all blotchy and wet and his eye looking red and painful. It just makes Momoshiro look kind of pathetic, and Kaidoh is pretty helpless when it comes to Momoshiro's pathetic face.
"You idiot," Kaidoh says. "C'mon, let's wash it out."
Momoshiro follows after Kaidoh as he retreats back to the hut like a lost puppy, whimpering all the way through, and not leaving his eye alone at all. He keeps rubbing his knuckles against his eyelid. It just stings too much, and it's all hot and red, and the tears won't stop pouring out. It's really annoying.
"It feels like my eye turned into a god damn disco ball, god it fucking stings." Momoshiro accidentally bumps against Kaidoh since he wasn't really looking where he was walking, then takes a step back. He grabs the hem of Kaidoh's shirt to prevent himself from running into anything else while one eye is temporarily disabled.
"That stupid girl, she gave me hair gel … I didn't know it had glitter in it!" Once more, Momoshiro whines out loud in agony, and he rubs at his eye some more. It just won't come out, that stupid glitter. "Just ... get it out already!"
Once they're back inside the hut, Kaidoh grabs Momoshiro's hand and tugs it away from his face, wrapping his fingers around Momoshiro's wrist and holding it tightly.
"Stop rubbing at it," he says, sounding a bit exasperated. "It will only make it worse." With his free hand, he takes one of the bottles of fresh water off of the floor, opens it, and holds it up. "Lean your head back."
"Ugh, this good enough?" Momoshiro tilts back his head so he's looking up at a blurry ceiling (his other eye started watering too). He tries to rub at his eye again, but Kaidoh is holding his wrist, so he uses his other hand to rub at it. It's impossible for him to stop.
"I guess right now it's a bad time to tell you that … I really hate it when things go into my eye?" says Momoshiro with a snort. He's kind of deathly afraid of anything touching his eye, and now there's damn glitter in it, and now Kaidoh wants to flush it out with water, and well, it's scary! And it hurts! He unconsciously flinches away from the bottle of water in Kaidoh's hand.
"Hold still," Kaidoh says, and uses the bottle to nudge away Momoshiro's other hand. He looks at Momoshiro like he's being a big baby about all of this, but there's a softness in the way he looks at him too, like it's kind of endearing. Kaidoh is pretty sure it isn't, and he's just being temporarily blinded by Momoshiro's idiotically glittery hair.
He drops Momoshiro's wrist and uses his fingers to hold Momoshiro's eye open, his thumb and forefinger pressing against the lids. It makes Momoshiro squirm again. Damnit, Kaidoh's going to end up poking his eye out if Momoshiro doesn't stop moving. He can see glitter in there, looking scratchy against the surface of Momoshiro's very red eye. It makes Kaidoh's own eyes feel itchy in sympathy. It must really suck. Kaidoh feels like he should be offering some words of comfort or something, but he doesn't really do comfort, especially not with Momoshiro.
"It'll be out soon," he says instead, trying to sound confident. He doesn't actually know how easy it is to get glitter out of an eye. It's never been a problem he's had to deal with. Why'd Momoshiro have to be such a dumbass?
"Okay, I'm going to put water on it," Kaidoh warns, and holds up the water bottle and tips it so that water comes streaming out over Momoshiro's face.
"Hoo—fuck!" Momoshiro pulls away from the bottle and Kaidoh, letting out a string of some very nasty curses that would make Hazue hit him on the head.
"Fuck, that fucking hurt!" he complains. The water had hit his eye, and somehow made it worse, because now he can really feel everything scratch inside of his eyelid, and it's burning like hellfire. Ugh, this is the worst day ever. He wants to scratch his eye out.
"At least count to three or something, asshole." Momoshiro almost feels like Kaidoh is enjoying this, he keeps seeing him try to suppress a smile, or maybe his vision is just too blurry, and Kaidoh is really trying to snarl instead. For being a dumbass. Well, it wasn't his fault! He thought it was ordinary hair gel. Not one with damn glitter inside of it.
Despite not really wanting to do that ever again, he knows the only way to get it to stop burning a hole through his retina, the water has to flush it out. Momoshiro inches closer to Kaidoh, a bit afraid of him, cowering away, and it feels really pathetic. Combined with the fact that Kaidoh already sees him like some incompetent elephant throughout this day, it really isn't making matters better.
Momoshiro leans his head back again—rubs at his eye—then tries to keep it open, but it stings so damn much that he squeezes it back closed tight again.
Stupid Kaidoh, it's all his fault somehow. He wasn't there to stop Momoshiro from putting this stuff in his hair. It's because he was running. Yeah, blame the running. Always the damn running. Freak.
"We have to do it like this," Kaidoh says, trying to stay calm. It's hard when Momoshiro is acting like it's the end of the world. Kaidoh's first instinct whenever Momoshiro gets dramatic is to pick a fight with him over it, for being such a moron, but that doesn't exactly seem wise at the moment, and part of Kaidoh really does feel bad and want to help Momoshiro out.
He lifts the water bottle again. "Okay?" he asks tentatively. He isn't really looking forward to Momoshiro thrashing and flailing around again. He might even knock the bottle of water over and then they'd have to start all over. "Open your eye."
In a completely subconscious kind of move, Momoshiro grabs hold of Kaidoh's wrist, to steady his arm, and to prevent any water from entering his eye.
"You better count," says Momoshiro. He then tightens his grip on Kaidoh's wrist—to help deal with the burning pain—and he slowly and uncertainly peels his eyelids open to reveal his eye. There's a lot of red veins flowing through what used to be the white of the eye. It almost looks like a scene from a horror movie. If Momoshiro weren't so much in pain right now, he'd be making fun of Kaidoh, or scaring him, with his creepy eye.
But instead, Momoshiro leans his head back up, anticipating the water like it's a history test in high school on Monday morning. Or just a kick in the balls.
"Ok, do it," Momoshiro manages to grit through his teeth. He doesn't relax his grip on Kaidoh's wrist though. It's kind of stuck on there now, like it's been glued onto it.
Kaidoh nods. "One … two … three," he counts, and raises his hand—their hands, really—and tilts the water bottle again, sending the water out in a rush.
And it hurts just as much as the first time, but luckily, Momoshiro is squeezing the hell out of Kaidoh's wrist to prevent himself from turning away, and to take it like a man. Despite squealing like a girl. The water flows over his eye, and he can't see anything anymore, and everything is just goddamn burning, that after only three seconds, Momoshiro pulls away again. He immediately shuts his eye and starts to rub at it.
And it feels a lot less painful than before. The more he rubs at it, the less it stings, and it's not as irritated anymore. Momoshiro tries to open up his eye with a bit of difficulty. It still stings a little, and he blinks several times, looking at Kaidoh. One, two, three—hey it doesn't hurt as much. He can still feel some of it still in there though, but it seems most of it got out. As evidenced by his fingers which are now covered in glitter again.
"Hey, it hurts less," says Momoshiro, a bit happy. He wipes his hand off on his shorts to get rid of the glitter and rubs at his eye some more, but it's not getting rid of the itchiness.
"Okay, one more time, I think." Momoshiro steps closer, not grabbing Kaidoh's wrist this time, and his eye is open, despite feeling like he must squeeze it shut. "Count."
Kaidoh counts to three a second time and holds the bottle up over Momoshiro's face, letting it splash into his eye. He realizes that it's a bit strange, what they're doing—stranger still that Kaidoh doesn't even feel annoyed with Momoshiro anymore for it, just relieved that it's working.
Momoshiro lets out an audible sigh of relief as the water flushes the rest of the glitter out. He blinks against the thick stream of water a few times, until there's no more water left, and it's basically splattered all over his clothes. He rubs at his eye; doesn't sting as much anymore, but he can definitely feel no more glitter in it. Looking around for something to dry his face off with, Momoshiro thinks, to hell with it, and slams his face into Kaidoh's chest.
His hands slip underneath Kaidoh's top, and he travels upwards until he's at his chest. Then he pushes his hands towards his face so he can rub it against his eye just to make sure all the glitter is out, and to dry his face off. And to perhaps annoy Kaidoh just a little bit, because it's quite pathetic that snake had to come in and rescue him from glitter, but also because he's still … well … testing.
At least that's one thing Momoshiro is sure about now; Kaidoh will always come to him in need. He's thankful for that.
Kaidoh stands there as if paralyzed, painfully conscious of how his whole chest is tingling, like Momoshiro's arms against his skin are made up entirely of electric shocks. And heat. Kaidoh doesn't know how Momoshiro can be splashed with so much water and still feel so warm.
"Ever heard of a towel, moron?" he says uselessly, as his whole tank top becomes damp with water. His own arms reach up under the front of his shirt and he grabs Momoshiro's wrists, trying to pull them out. "You're going to stretch my shirt out."
"Does it look like there's a towel anywhere near me?" Momoshiro retorts. He quickly rubs the corner of his eye one last time with Kaidoh's top before he lets himself get pulled out of it. He doesn't quite move from his position though, still being so close to each other. It looks like Momoshiro cried on Kaidoh's chest, which he guesses is basically what did happen, as his eyes are still tearing up a bit.
"Still feels like there's glitter in my eye, do you see anything?" Momoshiro leans his head back a bit, and with his index finger and thumb, he spreads his eyelids apart to let Kaidoh have a look.
"Just your stupid eyeball," Kaidoh says, giving Momoshiro a flat look. "I don't see anything. It's probably going to be irritated for a while because of how much you were rubbing at it."
Momoshiro rubs at his eye.
Kaidoh grabs Momoshiro's hand again and holds it firmly, like Momoshiro is a disobedient child who keeps reaching for the cookie jar. "Idiot, you'll only make it worse! Just leave it alone."
"But it hurts!" And it still really does. Maybe Momoshiro is just a little paranoid and thinks there's still some in his eye, despite being dunked in water several times. He curls his lips into a quivering pout and stares at Kaidoh with a sad depressing look on his face, whimpering a bit for added effect. The fact that his eyes are still watering, and his left eye is bright red, only serves to complete the sad look.
Momoshiro tugs slightly at his hand, wanting to rub his eye, and sort of wanting to pull away out of Kaidoh's grip, but then he also feels like he doesn't want to. It's kind of nice being babied (he'll die before saying this out loud), taken care of like this. Kaidoh really does fuss a lot, following Oishi's footsteps as being the motherly type. But then again, Kaidoh has always fussed about him in his own snark-like way, hasn't he? Not to mention he kept on retying Momoshiro's bandana today.
"I won't go blind, right?" asks Momoshiro in a tiny voice.
Kaidoh snorts. "I really doubt it," he says. Sure, Momoshiro looks totally pathetic right now, and his eye is all puffy and red, but Kaidoh doesn't see glitter stuck in it anymore. He'll be fine. Whiny, but fine.
Momoshiro still seems to be looking for some kind of reassurance though, so Kaidoh pulls one of the clean bandanas out of his pocket—this time a black one. After letting go of Momoshiro's hand, he wets the bandana with some water from a different, new bottle, since they'd completely exhausted the supply from the first one trying to rinse out Momoshiro's eye.
Once the bandana is cool and damp, Kaidoh holds it out to Momoshiro and says, "Close your eye and hold this against it. It should help with the stinging, but if it doesn't stop, we can, uh, try to wash it out again I guess." He grimaces. His voice sounds a lot gentler than it should. It's Momoshiro's fault for looking so sad and helpless.
And Momoshiro picks it up as well. A caring Kaidoh is something he could really get used to. He grins slightly as he takes Kaidoh's bandana (does he seriously have an endless supply of them in his pocket?), his fingers sliding against Kaidoh's long ones on purpose, then takes the cloth up to his face and presses it against his eye. He massages little circles against his eye a bit, it's hard not to rub! But seeing Kaidoh's stern expression, Momoshiro pouts once more and stops, and simply applies pressure to it.
"Yeah, uhh, thanks," says Momoshiro. With his one good eye, he looks at Kaidoh for a few seconds, then diverts his gaze at the wet spot on Kaidoh's tank top. It really does look like he cried all over him.
It's weird how Momoshiro feels torn between wanting to punch Kaidoh for making him look like he can't do anything else, to simply enjoying being pampered. Maybe this is what Echizen feels all the time whenever Momoshiro does something for him. It is a nice feeling, but this is still Kaidoh. And yesterday he had already helped Momoshiro yet again when he collapsed while running, and took him back to their hut. He had meant to fake passing out at first, but he ended up doing it nearly for real, and thinking about how worried Kaidoh sounded like (despite the only things he was saying were insults), made Momoshiro's cheeks turn a little bit pink. He shuffles awkwardly on the spot and puts one of his hands underneath his armpit, while the other just tries to cover his face as much as possible as he presses the bandana against his eye.
"Uhh," Momoshiro starts. "You can go back to running. Or whatever you were doing. If you see that Shiraishi chick, punch her in the gut for me."
"I'm not going to punch a girl for you, moron," Kaidoh grumbles, but he still doesn't manage to sound that grouchy. He pulls at his tank top and smoothes his palm down the front of it to flatten it out. It feels cool and damp against his chest. It feels kind of weird. He looks back up at Momoshiro, who seems to be trying to hide behind his hand. Well, his face is all red and blotchy, almost like he's been crying. It's pretty stupid-looking, Kaidoh thinks.
"I should be back in an hour," he says, as though it's suddenly important for Momoshiro to know. "Don't touch your eye too much," he adds, as though he cares. "Dumbass," he finishes, because he doesn't. Really. He just thinks it would be completely idiotic if Momoshiro really did go blind because he couldn't stop rubbing at his eye.
"Fine, I'll try not to," says Momoshiro gruffly. "If I do go blind, punch her!" As if to illustrate how to punch her, Momoshiro takes his hand away from his armpit, balls it up into a fist, and softly pushes it against the wet spot on Kaidoh's chest. "Like that," he says softly.
Momoshiro can't resist rubbing at his eye once more when he feels a sting again. "Don't—don't run too much. Dumbass." Come home sooner.
"I'll run as much as I want to," Kaidoh replies tersely, because he can't just agree with Momoshiro, not even when he feels like he'd be just fine staying here with him instead of going back out to run more. Because that wouldn't be just fine at all, and if Kaidoh did that, if he stayed here with Momoshiro and his pathetic face, it would have to mean something. Right?
He turns toward the entrance of the hut and descends the steps down to the sandy beach. He glances back over his shoulder once before he starts to run again, and as he does, his whole body feels heavier.
Well, maybe he can make it back in 45 minutes, he thinks.
Back at the hut, Momoshiro spends the rest of his time trying to get that nasty glitter gel out of his hair. He never thought there'd be a day where he'd hate hair gel, and actually liked Kaidoh's bandana.
But that's not what he's focusing on, he's focusing on the fact that Kaidoh bends to his every whim, no matter how ridiculous. Kaidoh really can't resist Momoshiro. He probably can't even reject anything Momoshiro will ask of him. So maybe Momoshiro isn't just a master manipulator, but Kaidoh is simply a doormat. Or maybe he just likes Momoshiro.
Yeah, maybe he does.
August 23 - Thursday
Liking someone … crushes … they're kind of complicated. Momoshiro has had crushes before. Not that many … maybe two, he can think of. One when he was very little, and there was this cute girl in his class that he spent a lot of time with. K-chan, he thinks her name was. He never really remembered her full name. And then there was An, Tachibana's sister. Momoshiro has always liked active and sporty girls, so of course he got along with her, and eventually they started to date. It didn't last long, but whatever—the point is, Momoshiro knows what crushes feel like, and they're sort of unpredictable too.
There's one thing he knows extremely well, and this is when the person you have a crush on touches you, there should be a fireworks display in your stomach. It should feel good, it should feel addicting, it should feel fluttery. It's the kind of feeling people want to keep feeling, but on the other side of the coin, it's also something that terrifies them. What if the person finds out? What if they figured it all out? Do they feel the same way? Questions plague their minds forever.
And that's why Momoshiro knows, that if Kaidoh has a crush on him, that all physical contact between them will be magnified to him. He will shy away from all that contact, get fidgety, nervous, anxious, and he'll act awkward and try to pull away. Or at least, that's how Momoshiro would act.
Not that he has a crush on Kaidoh.
Hahahaha!
Hah.
Fuck no.
But Kaidoh might have a crush on him (again).
So to find out, Momoshiro decides to fight with Kaidoh. He doesn't even need to find a reason, since they're already a bit on edge the last couple of days.
"You seriously need to get a different hobby other than running," he says.
It's all that needs to be said.
Fighting is always so simple to understand between them. It's not complicated, they just hit each other where it hurts, and they won't go down, no matter what.
Momoshiro almost forgets his objective, he's getting too into it. He likes getting rough with Kaidoh—it's the only person in the world he can simply mess around with and it doesn't have any consequences. It's always been a familiar rush, a sensation that Momoshiro has gotten used to. It's almost like this is their connection with each other, a bond if you may, talking to each other through fists. It's how they do it, it's how they roll.
And Momoshiro really likes the rolling.
It's always on top, or the bottom, neither of them give up their dominant positions. Because where's the fun in that? There's no point to it if there's no struggle, no challenge, no obstacle to overcome. Even if his muscles hurts, and his skin is scratched and bruised, he likes the proximity of their bodies. He likes the way they move, so fluidly over each other, like they're so familiar with the way their bodies work, which areas bruise better, and which areas they should avoid. It's programmed into their brains, and it kept updating each time they had another fight. And they've had … so many fights.
So much friction between them.
The friction of Kaidoh's shirt against his collarbone, the friction of Kaidoh's arm against his back, the sensation of his nails swiping across his spine. That warm breath settling against the nook of his neck, and those intense gaze in his eyes, like he's all that matters, like the world doesn't exist. Nothing exists but them, and the scuffling and movement of their bodies. And Momoshiro returns it, he returns it tenfold.
So Kaidoh? Do you like fighting?
Momoshiro doesn't even need to try, he doesn't even really need to pretend, when his hands get touchier, when he arches up into Kaidoh's body, and then he rolls them over. He brushes up his legs with Kaidoh's, he can feel the long hairs of Kaidoh's legs rub against his shin, it's sort of soft, it's sort of strange. His fingers glide over his shoulders, down his arms, and he's pinning Kaidoh down, like he's done a million times before already, but he's making sure to draw it out as long as possible, to make sure there's skin-on-skin contact, and to keep looking at his dark blue eyes.
Why is he looking again? For a reaction?
Or acceptance?
His throat feels dry, despite not having said much during their scuffle, but it's still dry. Kaidoh looks sweaty, his skin is glistening against the sun. That sickeningly sweet smell, the aroma is swirling up in his head. He can't think straight anymore. It's messing with his mind. They both breathe, in and out, and Momoshiro doesn't tear his eyes away from him, nor does he let go of Kaidoh's arms, he's forcing more pressure onto it, as if it keeps him from going insane. From losing control.
Losing control of what exactly?
Kaidoh flips him over, climbs on top of him, and Momoshiro can't stop looking, nor can he stop feeling. His fingers trace over Kaidoh's biceps, up back to his shoulders, to the delicate skin of his neck, and he can see Kaidoh freezing up in a moment's notice, withholding his breath. That smell, that smell is making him sick … His fingers wrap around the back of Kaidoh's neck, until he forces Kaidoh down to his level, and then he's in Kaidoh's soft brown hair, massaging his scalp almost.
And there Kaidoh is, right in front of his face, his eyes surprisingly softened and weird, and kind of oogley. Momoshiro still can't break eye contact with him, but he wants to desperately bring his eyes down, to focus on those lips. Those lips which are parted, and no air is coming through them. Kaidoh isn't breathing.
Is he?
It's getting tighter inside of Momoshiro's chest, it's getting dryer in his throat, and he's getting tired of struggling, tired of this … this … invisible wall there seems to be. Like Kaidoh is holding himself back from doing whatever he wants to do.
What are you waiting for Kaidoh?
But what is Momoshiro waiting for? What is he expecting? Why is he finding it harder and harder to let go, to pull his fingers out of Kaidoh's hair, to slip his body away from Kaidoh, to actually punch him instead of staring at him. This is definitely something that needs updating in his brain, because usually, they'd be hurting each other right now. They shouldn't be leaning closer, and Momoshiro is losing his objective, and it's getting closer, Kaidoh is getting closer, and Momoshiro doesn't hate it.
Then just like that, like a snap of a straw, Kaidoh pulls back. The wind rushes around them from the speed at which Kaidoh moves, and then the snake is running, running away.
Momoshiro continues to lie there as he stares up at the sky. His throat is starting to feel a little better. But he still feels like that there was something about to happen, some sort of secret was about to get spilled, and Momoshiro wants to know …
The secret—is it that Kaidoh likes him?
He wants to know.
He really wants to know!
August 24 - Friday
Momoshiro is on edge, and it's partially because today is the first day of the doubles matches for the Dumbnuts Olympics, but mostly because whenever he ends up alone with Kaidoh, he keeps remembering yesterday. The movement of their bodies together as they fought, and stopped, and something else seemed to transpire in the air—just like on his birthday.
"Let's go win this match," he says. But he doesn't feel confident. Kaidoh simply nods his head. Momoshiro hands over the red bandana, soundlessly, and just as silent, Kaidoh ties it on his head. It's like a ritual between them now.
It's been years since he played a doubles match with Kaidoh, and he remembers them all fondly, it's something he's been wanting to do ever since their last match. How many times has he played other matches and thought 'Kaidoh would have gotten that one' or 'Kaidoh would have had my back' or maybe even 'this isn't a challenge at all'. To put it in better words, he has missed playing doubles with Kaidoh a lot. He's even had the guts to say this personally to Kaidoh.
Because no one else is like Kaidoh. No one else can read his movements and motivations as easily as Kaidoh can. He's the only good match for him (Echizen had been a disaster), and tennis is just their thing. It had always been their thing.
Momoshiro wonders when it stopped being just about tennis, and they simply started to hang out with each other that didn't involve tennis at all.
He catches Kaidoh's eyes out on the courts, the match is starting. Momoshiro feels this heavy weight in his stomach, this block of iron. He's been looking forward to this for years, but never once had he anticipated that he'd be nervous about it, and it's not even because of the tennis! That's what it should have been about; playing the match together like the good old days.
But something changed.
Kaidoh stands behind him as he serves. That was his position. He was a doubles partner and a rival. That's all Kaidoh was, that's all he has been.
Momoshiro whacks his racket against the ball; it's all it should have been. But it's not, it changed.
Somehow Kaidoh has blurred the line between doubles partners and rivals. Sure, they might be playing tennis right now as doubles, and sure they compete with each other pretty much every day—but he also does a lot more things with Kaidoh that doesn't include tennis or rivalry. Fish together, run together, build together, play stupid games together, cook food together, garden together, hang out in a hammock together, and simply talk to each other. They did so many things, and every day it increases.
It's confusing, it really is. It used to be just so simple … a rival yet a partner.
What's Kaidoh now?
The match is 2-0, and they're not on the winning side. Momoshiro is distracted. He's thinking too much, he's focused too much on Kaidoh, and Kaidoh notices it too. That exciting rush he was expecting during this match? It's not there, because Momoshiro's mind isn't there on the court with them.
Why did Kaidoh have to go and mess it up. Why did he have to start liking Momoshiro in his second year, and why did Momoshiro have to find out? Why did he have to find out about the Valentine's chocolates? The pictures he's kept on his phone for years?
Why stay in his shack.
Why create rainbow roses for him.
Why make a garden for him.
Why let him stay in his hut.
Why give him the bandana.
Why dance with him.
Why wear that ridiculous hula skirt.
Why make that hammock for him.
Why indulge him so much.
Why?
That's not rivalry. That's not even close. Momoshiro wouldn't even call it a friendship.
They lose their doubles match, and it's all Momoshiro's fault. He didn't really care about winning, he was just so focused on Kaidoh. On figuring him out, on trying to sort out his own damn brain. He's a mess of emotions right now.
A few days ago, he wanted to know. He wanted to find out if Kaidoh still likes him. He didn't really have a reason—or well, maybe he did, but it's just so confusing. And admitting he has a reason is like admitting he wants Kaidoh to like him again, which is crazy and stupid and idiotic, and why the hell is Kaidoh looking at him as if he wants to say something? Just spit it out, stupid snake. Call him names for losing the match; Momoshiro doesn't care. It was his fault after all.
No—it's not his fault, it's Kaidoh's fault! Kaidoh is messing him up, is making him confused, is making him change his view of him, and the entire ride feels like a roller coaster with its ups and downs. One day Momoshiro is sure, and the other he's confused, and he just wants to go punch something. Usually, he'd have punched Kaidoh. However, Kaidoh is the one that's causing him to be confused, so he settles for punching a wall, and kicking Kaidoh's pillow. But then he feels bad for the pillow, fluffs it back up, and puts it back on his bed. And now he feels silly.
This is getting ridiculous.
All Momoshiro wanted to know is if Kaidoh still likes him. That was it. There were no other motivations for it. No secret reason that he's hiding.
Stupid Kaidoh. Why did he have to go and be gay. And then be gay for him. He was fine just being rivals, doubles partners—but this unknown territory that is not rivals, not doubles partner, and not even friends, it scares him. He doesn't know what will happen, what can happen. What has happened.
Like these inexplicable urges he gets from time to time whenever Kaidoh is being Kaidoh, and they're simply together, and it doesn't feel strange, and he doesn't feel like strangling the snake, and they're not arguing, and they're not having a stupid competition. Where he feels safe and relaxed, and sort of really zen, a feeling he's not used to having around Kaidoh. Especially when those urges just keep on growing, and before he knows it, he's attached to Kaidoh like bees to honey, and they're both not talking, and they're close, so close, and he doesn't want to stop whatever happens afterwards.
But then Momoshiro is pulled to his senses, and then they're awkward around each other, like they have been the entire day. Walking on eggshells, wondering what the hell is going on.
Kaidoh. He might just like Momoshiro, but it's also very probable that it doesn't stop at that.
And that scares Momoshiro like hell, and it fills him up with a ton of bees that keep swarming around his stomach, not quieting down. Not giving him the time of day.
August 25 - Saturday
Another day of tennis, another day of confusion. It's hot, it's so very hot, Momoshiro feels like he wants to rip his skin off. It should never be this hot out, and people should definitely not be playing sports when the temperature is high enough to cook an egg on something metal out in the sun.
Kaidoh however, still acts like nothing can stop him, and Momoshiro wakes up alone in the morning once more. Running again. Always running. Seriously, what's so bad about waking up with him? Is he that bad at keeping company? No, that can't be, lots of people love being around Momoshiro, they always want to talk to him—Kaidoh can't be literally running away from him.
Right?
Whatever, that snake can do whatever he wants, it's his life, it's his stupid running. Running himself to death might just become a reality in the future.
Not that Momoshiro wants Kaidoh to do that, nor would he even allow himself to die in such a stupid way (he's completely ignoring his own breakdown a few days ago), because that would be lame. Kaidoh should die while saving a puppy or something. Yes, be heroic. Like that time they saved a puppy together. And then they were almost late to their match … the match against Rikkai.
The match which Kaidoh said was the one he started liking Momoshiro.
What'd he do to make him like him anyway? He didn't act any different, it wasn't anything special—and they lost the match too. So it's really baffling to think about the fact that Kaidoh decided now was a good time to get a crush on him.
And then totally forget about it later on!
Or well, maybe he never did. And maybe he really does still like Momoshiro. Isn't that something Momoshiro has said himself? Unrequited love will stay like that forever unless the person confesses or gets rejected. It can last for years, he knows this, he's got a friend who's been in love with her best friend's husband for several years.
But that doesn't make any sense, since he's pretty sure he rejected Kaidoh straight away when he found out.
In fact, he might have even called it disgusting.
Which was probably not the best way to handle it … but he was just so shocked and surprised, and freaking out at Kaidoh liking him. It still freaks him out if he thinks about it, but this time there's something else there. He can't figure out what it is, anxiety maybe? Nervousness? Anticipation? Whatever it is, it doesn't matter, it's not like Kaidoh does like him, and he would certainly never confess; Kaidoh is a huge coward. In the four years they knew each other, about two and a half of them was spent with Kaidoh secretly liking him. That's a very long time for not having the guts to come forward with it.
Well, it might have just been Momoshiro's fault … he probably would have freaked out, maybe punched Kaidoh, and then he'd avoid Kaidoh forever. Not a very favourable position for Kaidoh to be in. It's not like Momoshiro can help it … he was so young back then, and finding out Kaidoh had a crush on him—on being gay for him, would only remind him of Konjiki and Hitouji, and those two had always made it a point to make him feel disgusted and uncomfortable. No, Momoshiro can see why Kaidoh didn't say anything, it would only have ruined everything, their rivalry, their tennis, their companionship.
So alright, he can see why Kaidoh never said anything, if Momoshiro was going to react like that.
But it's five years later, he's a little grown up now, and perhaps he has gained some maturity in those years.
Hah, yeah right.
Momoshiro can barely handle Echizen's love for him, if he finds out Kaidoh likes him too, it would just be one gigantic mess. But he's pretty sure Kaidoh does … he just doesn't know for sure (not like Kaidoh would ever tell him this, he's way too chicken to ever confess).
They lose their doubles match, terribly. Lose against people who haven't played tennis in years, it's actually pretty sad, but Momoshiro just wasn't thinking about winning. He doesn't even care he lost, he's simply lost in thought.
He's pretty sure Kaidoh thinks he's moping around because they lost and they didn't get a medal (he really wanted one), but he couldn't be further from the truth.
He's just … thinking. About Kaidoh.
How should he deal with this? He moved out of his own shack to give Echizen some space, and that ended up really badly, because now they're ignoring each other, and it's stupid, and he doesn't want to start ignoring Kaidoh too. But it's not like Kaidoh would ever pull something on him, like Echizen did. Echizen kissed him, Kaidoh's way too much of a wuss to do something like that. He's probably afraid Momoshiro will punch his teeth in. Which is a probable outcome.
But that is if Kaidoh likes him. Momoshiro still doesn't know for sure. And asking Kaidoh outright is out of the question. He did respond positively to all of his 'tests' this week; he got him to play card games, he liked Momoshiro's cat drawings, he brought him back home after he collapsed from running too much, he's always tying his bandana for him … and when they touch …
When they touch …
Kaidoh isn't the only one to react.
This is just getting too much for Momoshiro. Enough with the stupid games and tests, he wants to know. He needs to know if Kaidoh likes him or not. He'll go insane otherwise.
So Momoshiro goes directly to Hazue. It seems Kaidoh's little brother knew a lot about Kaidoh's habits. He also knew about the pictures—and he even told Momoshiro that Kaidoh values him a lot. Surely the little kid would know if his brother had a crush on him or not. He seemed to be a very perceptive kid.
"How well do you know your brother?" he asks.
"Apparently, not as much as I thought," says Hazue. "Momo-nii-chan, why does my brother use so many curse words against you?"
"Ah, don't pay attention to that, we're always insulting each other. It's no big deal." And Momoshiro likes it like that. Momoshiro likes the fact he's the only one Kaidoh will insult to such great extent.
"Is that so … it seems strange to me that two friends insult each other all the time."
Friends.
They're not friends. This is what Momoshiro always replies with, right? A standard response to anyone thinking they're friends. But now, Momoshiro is kind of stumped on what to say. They're not close enough to be friends …but they don't nearly fight with each other enough to be considered only rivals. It's like a grey area, and Momoshiro doesn't know how to define it, how to use words to describe the kind of connection they have.
"Hazue-chan, do you think your brother and I are friends?" he decides to ask.
"Why else would you be around each other that much?"
Good question.
"I know my brother can be a little ... socially awkward, and he doesn't say much, so people think he has no interest in them, or some even think he's scary … but Momo-nii-chan, he talks with you every day, doesn't he?"
True, but that's because they live together.
"You used to pretty much talk every day … I could hear my brother on the phone late at night. And he doesn't call anyone besides our parents, and sometimes me. So I knew it had to be you, Momo-nii-chan. I think you two even talked while Kaoru-nii-chan was taking a bath ..."
Momoshiro definitely remembers that conversation, and he turns red at knowing that Hazue had known all along about their conversations. Just how many secrets did his brother know?
"Then one day I stopped hearing the calls. Kaoru-nii-chan withdrew himself after that … he became more quiet, he started to run a lot more than before, and he was obsessed with …"
"Obsessed with what?"
"Momo-nii-chan, why did you stop calling him? Did my brother do something wrong?"
"Ah, no, that's not it. It was just … a really strange accident. I sort of lost Kaidoh's number, so I was waiting for him to call me back so I could get his number … or something."
"He never called you back?"
"No. Which really pissed me off. I mean, I thought we were getting along pretty well, but then I realized I was the only one who cared that much. I was always the one to call, always the one to send text messages. He didn't care, the bastard. If he cared, he'd have called me back the day I didn't call first."
"Momo-nii-chan, do you really think he didn't care?"
"..."
"Kaoru-nii-chan is very … insecure. Or should I say, scared? Of course he cared about your friendship, but he's just too socially awkward to know how to call you up, I guess. Or at least, that's what I think it was. He did a lot of things that he never went through with … but he definitely cared! Don't you think he would have hung up on you if he didn't?"
"I guess … that's what I thought, until we just stopped talking. At least we met each other again after all these years."
"Hehe, I was pretty surprised how comfortable my brother was with you when I first got here. He's shown a lot of growth, I think."
"Hazue-chan … do you think that … or do you know if … well … if your brother …"
"Momo-nii-chan, if you have something to ask of my brother, don't you think you should ask him?"
"Hah, no, I'd get punched for sure."
"... I really don't understand your relationship with each other sometimes."
"Neither do I kid, neither do I."
"I'll ask him not to punch you, if that helps?"
"You can't even get your brother to stop harassing you about training, how can you prevent him from punching me?"
"Well …! I can lie …"
"That you sure can, how's your ankle by the way?"
"... Don't tell him."
"Don't worry, I won't."
"So, are you going to ask him?"
"Yeah, maybe, I don't know, I really rather like my teeth."
"Haha … that's a joke … right?"
"At least we have a bunch of medical students on this island."
"Hehehe … you're really joking, right? Right!?"
"Alright squirt, don't tell your brother I talked to you, okay? I'll keep your little ankle secret between us too."
"O-okay …"
Somehow, after his conversation with Hazue, Momoshiro feels like his mind is a little bit more clear now. A little more certain. Knowing that Kaidoh cared for him on some level made him sort of happy (though Hazue was prone to lie …). Okay, maybe that wasn't the right word for it. He did feel happy, knowing Kaidoh didn't like it when their contact suddenly stopped, but most of all, Momoshiro feels relieved.
And that is … this is starting to turn into a whole other direction. He's been trying for an entire week to get any sort of confirmation out of Kaidoh, whether he likes him or not. But ...
Shit.
Maybe he shouldn't have been trying to find out if Kaidoh likes him.
What if he likes Kaidoh instead?