Washed Up

A/N: a cute brother log before ... the big one.

Authors: Celianna (Hazue) & Happiestwhen (Kaidoh)

Rating: K

Events leading up to this log:
- Set a day after the last log
- Hazue has been coaching Kaidoh into not insulting Momo, and to ask him if they're friends (Hazue thinks they are), but Kaidoh is too much of a nervous mess to ever ask that question to Momo

Date: August 26, 2012

Something has been on Hazue's mind since yesterday. To be honest, it's actually been on his mind for years, specifically when he was only ten years old, the age at which his brother Kaidoh had entered middle school. Things changed then, for the better he guesses, but that's when it started. Hazue had always been a bit concerned about his older brother; he had no friends, and while polite to his own family, he knew that for some reason, he's always had strangers be scared of him. Frightened of him. It was really weird, since Hazue knew he was actually a big softie. At least he managed to get along with his mother's friends, who all thought he was cute and polite (but they definitely favoured Hazue more).

He had also found out that when he was barely even a year old, Kaidoh had gotten bullied in elementary school. And something about wearing dresses … Hazue guesses his mother would have really liked to have a daughter instead, hence why she made Kaidoh wear dresses when he was only four years old. Hazue has seen the pictures in their photo album, Kaidoh did look rather cute, and definitely looked like a girl.

Either way, Hazue knows that for some reason, Kaidoh has always been rather socially stunted. He was extremely happy to know he joined the tennis club in middle school (less happy about Kaidoh increasing the workload on their own training together), and he was forced to interact with other people, and for lack of better words, he managed to get comrades. Not quite friends (they never came over to his place), but at least they didn't cower away in fear from Kaidoh.

There was one person amongst that team that stood out to Hazue, because Kaidoh was always mentioning him. No, it wasn't Echizen Ryoma, whom Kaidoh did speak favourably of, but it was Momoshiro Takeshi. That name came up so many times, Hazue had lost count. He was under the impression that they were friends, though when Hazue asked his brother if he could invite Momoshiro for dinner, he stuttered and hastily formed some kind of weird excuse, which mostly consisted of 'I'm running!'.

This continued on even more strongly after Kaidoh left middle school. Hazue would sometimes hear Kaidoh talk to Momoshiro on his phone during random times of the day. He knows it's Momoshiro, because Hazue knows which people Kaidoh talks to. That is, his parents, and Hazue himself—Momoshiro really was the only other person he talked to. And since Hazue had access to Kaidoh's phone, he could check his incoming and outgoing calls. Most of them were from Momoshiro. Momoshiro also sent him a lot of texts, which Kaidoh never seemed to delete. Weird kind of texts, but Hazue thought some of them were pretty funny; the kind of texts someone would send to a friend.

Which is what Hazue thought they were, friends. Kaidoh even went out a lot during his summer break that year. And while Kaidoh had mumbled a few excuses about going running, Hazue knew—from listening in on their phone conversations at night—that he was going to meet Momoshiro. It always made him smile knowing Kaidoh had a good friend like Momoshiro.

That Kaidoh was always asking Hazue to transfer pictures of Momoshiro to his phone from his Facebook, he didn't question it at all. After all, they were friends, and the pictures were really rather funny (Momoshiro's tongue stuck to a pole for example, or drooling on a pillow). Hazue figured that Kaidoh would send pictures to Momoshiro as well. He didn't question it; they were friends, so why would he?

Kaidoh and Momoshiro were friends, that's one thing Hazue was sure of. And he might have also secretly been his fan (the amount of pictures was rather abnormally large).

Fast forward to years later, on the island, he definitely did not expect to hear his own brother deny this. Apparently, they weren't friends, or at least, Kaidoh seemed way too nervous and unsure to confirm this. He'd ask Kaidoh right then, to ask Momoshiro if they were friends or not, to get a confirmation at least. Hazue thought it was sort of cute, the way his brother acted so insecure, since he was sure they were friends. Hence why he felt entirely confident that if Kaidoh had asked, Momoshiro would have said 'of course we're friends!' or something to that extent.

Getting Kaidoh to ask it was a whole other story though.

The more Kaidoh stalled on asking, the more Hazue paid attention to Kaidoh's interactions with Momoshiro. It was really rather bizarre, to see his brother insulting Momoshiro left and right, and to threaten him with violence (he really hoped that was just a joke). It was a stark contrast to the image he had of Kaidoh in his head. Kaidoh had always been a big brother to him, polite, hard working, confident, a man of not many words, and most of all very kind. To see such a different side of him was quite shocking.

Hazue had asked Kaidoh right there to not insult Momoshiro—after all, why would you insult someone you're friends with? Kaidoh once more said that he doesn't know if they're friends, but they're definitely rivals, and 'that's just how they talk to each other'.

During a conversation with Momoshiro and himself, they started talking about pictures, and somehow the topic changed to the pictures on Kaidoh's phone. Then Kaidoh told him to stop talking about all the pictures Hazue had to transfer to his phone. Apparently, Momoshiro doesn't know a thing about the pictures, he was completely clueless about it.

Hazue was beginning to see the bigger picture now; Kaidoh had been secretly collecting pictures of Momoshiro. So was he just his secret admirer? But that couldn't be true, because he and Momoshiro were talking to each other every day.

He felt like he didn't know his brother anymore.

Then yesterday, Momoshiro came to Hazue himself. He seemed rather out of energy, completely tired (well, he did have a tennis match that day, and they lost, so Hazue understood why he looked so down). Momoshiro wanted to talk about Kaidoh, a conversation Hazue had been wanting to have himself.

Just what did Momoshiro think of Kaidoh?

Well, judging from their conversation, it seemed Momoshiro was rather fond of Kaidoh, and he definitely considered him a friend (despite not saying this out loud), or at least, cared a lot about him. He even had a suspicion Momoshiro likes Kaidoh a whole lot.

And this has been on his mind ever since. Hazue was starting to put the pieces together. Kaidoh, who denied being friends, yet talked to Momoshiro every day, and had a rather huge collection of pictures of the man (but kept hidden), the only person he'd outright insult and threaten—just what did Kaidoh think of Momoshiro?

And that's when Hazue started to think …not friends, not rivals, not enemies. There really is only one option left, isn't there?

And it was starting to make a whole lot of sense to him now, that certain other option. As he can recall, Kaidoh never had a girlfriend before in his life. Even when his mother forced him to go on dates (which were rather funny) with these random girls, it never went anywhere, and he knew Kaidoh really dreaded going to them. He also remembered seeing a picture of Kaidoh when he was young, looking embarrassed at being kissed on the cheek by a boy.

There's only been one person in Kaidoh's life that has had him in a constant uproar.

Kaidoh, on the other hand, has been doing his best to do anything but think. Running offers an easy distraction, one he's used increasingly—and is using now, but it's getting harder to avoid the thoughts and feelings that send his head spinning and his stomach churning with nervousness. It's all Momoshiro's fault. He won't stay out of Kaidoh's way, he's always there. Doesn't he know what it's doing to him? … Does he? Is that why? Is he doing it all on purpose? Asshole.

Kaidoh really thought he had things under control. He did, for a while. For a really long while, in fact. He thought he understood Momoshiro, knew where he stood with him, knew what they were and the limits of that. Now, Kaidoh isn't sure. He doesn't know what he thinks. Each time he's with Momoshiro it feels like playing with a tennis racket that's been strung too tight, like there's too much tension and everything's about to snap. It's weird. It's new. It's freaking Kaidoh out.

Because of this, he's relieved to see his brother at their hut instead of Momoshiro, and gives a little wave to Hazue as he jogs up. He pulls the towel from around his neck to wipe at his face; he's already on his third run of the day.

"Kaoru-nii-chan," Hazue greets his brother with a big smile. He's been sitting outside of their hut, and had been waiting for Kaidoh's return. "Have you seen where Momo-nii-chan went?"

"I don't know where Momoshiro is," Kaidoh says, a bit of an edge to his voice, as if to say, Why should I be in charge of that idiot's whereabouts? It's not like I'm stalking him. He glances down the beach. "Maybe he went fishing. Why? Were you waiting for him?"

Hazue flashes a small smile to his brother. He looks exhausted, maybe it's from running too much, or maybe something else. "No, I was just making sure he wasn't here." He wraps his arms around his legs and pulls them up to his chest. "Has he asked you anything lately?"

Momoshiro was supposed to ask Kaidoh something—whatever it was—yesterday, so Hazue was quite curious if he did, and what it was about.

"Huh?" Kaidoh thinks for a moment. Mostly Momoshiro has spent the week demanding to know why Kaidoh has to run so much. Is that what his brother means? And he's asked him to do things, sure, but that doesn't seem to be what Hazue is talking about either. Because that's nothing new.

After a moment, Kaidoh's eyes narrow a bit and he says, "No, I don't think so."

"Hmm, I see." So Momoshiro hasn't asked whatever has been on his mind. "Have you asked him yet?" Hazue asks instead, referring to their little talk weeks ago. About being friends with Momoshiro, Kaidoh was supposed to ask if they were or not. A simple question, Hazue thought.

"Asked him—oh." Kaidoh hangs his head and looks at the ground. "No."

"Why not? Afraid he'd say no?"

"N-no!" Kaidoh sputters. Why should Kaidoh be afraid? He doesn't even care. "It's just … It's a stupid thing to ask."

Hazue doesn't think so, but he'll stop pressing the matter. There's other matters to press! But how to bring it up without making the entire conversation really weird. "Uhm," Hazue says hesitantly. He then pats his hand next to him on the sand. "Please sit."

Kaidoh sits down next to his brother and gives him a long look like he's trying to figure him out. Maybe this is what Hazue meant by wanting to spend more time with him. Maybe he just wants to … hang out. It's not something Kaidoh usually does with his brother, but it seems like something that's important to him, if the look in his eyes is any indication, and that's good enough for Kaidoh.

His fingers unconsciously start to clench around his towel as he looks for something to say, but ends up just hissing quietly instead. Hanging out—without running or training—is already turning out to be a bit of a challenge. Kaidoh hopes that maybe Hazue will suggest something.

It's not hard to notice that Kaidoh feels uncomfortable, and it also makes Hazue painfully aware that he doesn't have the greatest social skills either. But he has to ask him; it's been on his mind now, and he likes seeing his brother happy. Like he used to be back when he was in his first year of high school.

"Uhh." Hazue narrows his eyes as he tries to think of the best way to say this, but everything sounds pretty terrible, and it's making him feel awkward and lose his voice. How does one ask if their brother is homosexual? He's pretty sure Kaidoh is … and he wants to let him know that it doesn't change anything, and it's okay to like guys, and he shouldn't try to hide it (especially on this island). And maybe he should admit he likes Momoshiro. Maybe.

Hazue fiddles around with his fingers, becoming increasingly more aware of the awkward silence between them. "How was your run?" Great, he flaked out.

"Good," Kaidoh says, then immediately feels a little guilty for saying so. It must really suck for his brother to not be able to do any running these days. Kaidoh doesn't know how he's able to tolerate it. If it were him, he'd go insane. "I mean, it was okay," he amends. "How's your ankle?"

Oh right, his ankle! Hazue starts to rub his right ankle. "It's uhm, it's doing a little better!" he lies.

Kaidoh looks at Hazue's ankle and then back at Hazue's face and blinks. "Did you, uh, hurt that one, too?"

Immediately Hazue switches ankles. "N-no!" he stutters, extremely embarrassed at mistaking which ankle he was supposed to have hurt. "I was just ... itchy." Hazue couldn't believe how bad of a liar he was. He also couldn't believe how Kaidoh seemed to eat his lies up.

Maybe it runs in the family.

"But uhm, it's doing better. No need to worry about it—or think about it really. Haha." Hazue looks down at his ankle, then stops rubbing and pulls his hand back onto his knee. It feels weird again. He's not supposed to be talking about his perfectly healthy ankle, he should be steering the conversation to Momoshiro.

"How uhh, how is Momo-nii-chan? I mean, was he okay after he collapsed from running? And then he got glitter in his eye, I read …"

"He's fine now, I guess," Kaidoh says with a shrug. He isn't really sure if it's true. They lost both their doubles matches this week and Momoshiro definitely didn't seem like he was 100% in the game either time they played. Not that Kaidoh had been either, but he'd been trying. It was just hard to play alongside Momoshiro and pretend that it was just tennis, that the nervous crackle of energy in the air with each serve and volley was just from the game.

"He was just being stupid." And maybe Kaidoh is, too.

"He was stupid for running with you?" What does that make Hazue?

"No, I mean..." Kaidoh trails off. What does he mean, exactly? "I mean he shouldn't have run as much as he did. It was too much for him." And it was kind of scary. And worrying. Even though Kaidoh would never admit that.

Well, at least it's a good thing Kaidoh can see that it's too much for Momoshiro. That's one step in the right direction … now to convince him that Hazue isn't superman either.

"Yeah, no one should run that much," stresses Hazue. He leans a little bit closer to Kaidoh, his shoulder touching Kaidoh's. "Neither should you."

Kaidoh grimaces. "That's what he says too," he grumbles. "It's not too much for me." With all the things that are overwhelming him at the moment, running is probably the least of his worries.

"Well, I know that you can definitely run that much and not …" Topple over, and die alone. "Uhm, yeah, it's not too much, but what I meant was … you'll have less time to do other things, you know? I think that's what Momo-nii-chan is really complaining about." Well, here goes. "I uhh, I think he just wants to spend more time with you …"

It's ridiculous that Hazue himself is feeling shy, like he's confessing to some really big secret, but it's not his secret. Which makes it even worse. If only Kaidoh was better at picking up social cues.

Kaidoh's whole body freezes up at that, as if temporarily paralyzed by Hazue's words. A jolt of electricity shoots straight to his stomach where it seems to zip around a bit before settling in.

"What...?" Why would he want to do that? Why would the idiot even care? Doesn't he get to bother and annoy Kaidoh enough as it is?

Hazue turns his slightly red face away and scratches his nose. "Uhm. I'm saying he … wants to spend time with you? It's pretty obvious." What with Momoshiro always complaining about running, and then telling Kaidoh that he should sleep in, and wake up with him. How can Kaidoh not see what he really wants? "Don't you want to too?"

Kaidoh's cheeks flush. "I …" His fingers dig deeper into the towel and he looks nervously at his brother. "Maybe. Yeah."

Okay, Hazue was on the right track. Now … how to casually ask if Kaidoh has some sort of crush on Momoshiro. There might not even be a casual way to ask this; who randomly asks about another person's crush? Especially their brother's? Hazue groans and digs his face into his knees. This proved to be harder than he thought it would be. He just has to ask, quickly, before he changes his mind, like ripping off a band-aid. He takes in a deep breath to prepare himself

"You like him, don't you?" Hazue quickly mumbles, and it becomes slightly muffled, maybe enough so that Kaidoh didn't hear, and he can pretend he never asked. The tips of his ears turn red at asking the question so bluntly like that.

"What?!" Kaidoh's eyes shoot wide open, his pupils looking like tiny dots. Then he lowers his voice. "I d-don't … I don't li—" He's suddenly too flustered to even say the word out loud; maybe it would sound too much like a lie if he tried. So he balls his fingers into fists and hisses, looking down at the sand at his feet.

The outburst of denial was something Hazue had prepared himself for. That didn't make it any less startling though. He turns to Kaidoh to calm him down.

"It's okay—I won't tell anyone. Not even Momo-nii-chan himself. There's no need to … no need to … err … freak out. It's uhm." Hazue tries to think of anything to say that'll make his brother less embarrassed and to reassure him that it'll be fine. "I mean, it's okay. To like him, I mean. I know you've always liked him in general years ago … I just didn't know it was like that, but err, ehm." What in the world is he trying to say now? He's never been this awkward trying to fumble for the right words to say. His head is kind of scrambled up, and when he looks at Kaidoh, he looks even worse. Which makes Hazue feel bad for even saying it in the first place.

He quickly shields his face with his hands and curls up as tiny as he could possibly make himself be. "It's okay … to like him," he says in a very tiny and embarrassed voice.

Kaidoh wants to growl back that it's not okay, because Momoshiro would freak out if he knew. He was horrified just to find out Kaidoh ever liked him in the first place, and he's not supposed to anymore. And he doesn't. Right? He told himself a thousand times that he doesn't. He never did! It was never a … a … it was never anything. Those were just stupid feelings. And Momoshiro had asserted that he doesn't feel anything remotely like that towards Kaidoh anyway. Anything Kaidoh's been feeling recently, and anything Momoshiro's been doing recently … those have all just been weird flukes. They don't mean anything. Maybe with enough running, they won't.

So why is it so hard for Kaidoh to just say it? If he doesn't like Momoshiro, why can't he say it out loud?

Because it's too big of a lie.

He turns his head into his shoulder to try and hide how red his face is, but it's sort of useless. His head is spinning. He kind of feels like he's going to throw up. He feels like he's been barreled into by a bus. How does Hazue know? What if … what if Momoshiro knows, too?

Kaidoh crosses his arms over his chest as though they'll keep all his secrets from spilling out. "I don't know what to do," he mumbles in a small, low voice. That, at least, isn't a lie. He doesn't know how to make it all stop.

In an instant, Hazue stops feeling sorry for himself and he pushes his own nervous and fumbly feelings to the side. He scoots over to Kaidoh and pats his hand against Kaidoh's back for comfort. A slight smile tugs at his lips, a sad one. Of course Kaidoh doesn't know what to do. Hazue knows that, it's crystal clear to him that Kaidoh didn't have a clue what to do with liking Momoshiro for years. So he ends up fighting with him, insulting him—kind of like that saying people use, like a boy pulling a girl's pigtails because he likes her. It's like he's been stumbling through life ever since it started, and Hazue has witnessed it, little by little. He rubs small soothing circles on Kaidoh's back, he seems so confused, so vulnerable; a side Hazue rarely sees.

"Well," Hazue starts. "You should probably not let him find out that you've been collecting pictures of him all these years." He meant it as a joke, to ease the tension in the air, and to make Kaidoh feel a little bit better.

"But it's okay … I can help you out, I'm your little brother. And I am a lot more perceptive towards other people's feelings." He'll ignore the fact that it took him years to figure out Kaidoh had a crush on Momoshiro. He breathes out a tiny sigh of relief. "For what it's worth, I don't think Momo-nii-chan will hate it if he knows."

"But—" Kaidoh starts. But he doesn't even know what he'd say. It's hard enough to make sense of it in his own head, he could never try to explain it all to Momoshiro, too. He wouldn't even want to. And even if Momoshiro didn't hate it, he'd still probably think Kaidoh was a freak forever, and he'd never want to fight him or do, well, anything with him again.

Kaidoh huffs. "I don't see why he needs to know." As though the whole thing will magically go away on its own. It might, Kaidoh thinks hopefully. It almost did once. If he hadn't seen Momoshiro again after all this time … But he did, and now he's stuck here with him, and those feelings aren't going anywhere. If anything, they're becoming magnified with each passing day. It's getting hard to take, because they're fizzly and exciting and really annoying too.

"Because I think he likes you too," is Hazue's most simple reply.

Kaidoh doesn't know what to say. That's impossible, isn't it? But Kaidoh thinks about all the things he's done with Momoshiro in the past few months, all the times they've spent together, the way they've acted towards each other, the things Momoshiro has said to him, the way he's always been there. Could he...? Does he...?

"Really?" Kaidoh can't help but ask. The corners of his mouth twitch like he's suppressing a smile. And then it turns into more of a frown. No. No. Don't be stupid. It's Momoshiro. He thinks Kaidoh is an idiot.

But Kaidoh thinks Momoshiro is an idiot too, so that doesn't mean a whole lot.

"I uhh, I'm not completely certain ... but yes." Judging by the fact how much time Momoshiro wants to spend with Kaidoh, how many times he mentions him in his journal posts, Hazue thinks it's pretty likely Momoshiro likes Kaidoh too. "I mean, he's always seeking you out, isn't he? And talking about you … heh, it's like he can't get enough of you." Hazue smiles at his brother; he seems to be looking a lot more hopeful now.

"I'm still not sure, but I think he does … or at least he just really likes you as his best friend." He rubs at Kaidoh's back again. "So he wouldn't hate it or anything, if he knew. I'm sure he'd actually really like hearing it."

Kaidoh finally allows himself to look at his brother again. His cheeks are still pretty red, but he doesn't feel as mortified as he did a few moments ago. Instead he just feels kind of jumpy and anxious, like he's waiting for something to happen. If Momoshiro likes him …

Kaidoh doesn't know how to finish that thought. What would that mean? Then what?

"H-how..." Kaidoh starts. "How do I … you know … tell him? I can't just …" He lets his palm fall open. "I can't just say it," he admits meekly.

"Uhm … I guess actions speak louder than words?" Though Hazue wouldn't know exactly what Kaidoh should do to make this clear. He already spends a lot of time with Momoshiro … oh right, the compliments! "Or how about you stop insulting him. Like I said, use compliments instead. Just … act nice to him."

Hazue shrugs. "Or maybe I can tell him for you."

"No!" Kaidoh's eyes widen, horrified. "I mean, no. Don't … He … We …" Again Kaidoh feels himself getting flustered. His face feels hot. The words just refuse to string themselves into a sentence. Just the idea of Momoshiro knowing anything about this is new and mortifying. Even if he … even if Momoshiro might —he also might not. Logically, it makes more sense that Momoshiro doesn't, that he couldn't, wouldn't.

But there's a small seed of hopefulness planted in Kaidoh's mind now. He doesn't know what it would mean if Momoshiro liked him, but it feels like a good thing. It feels like something Kaidoh has been waiting for, maybe even something that he wants. He wants to know, but at the same time is completely nervous about it.

So what? What actions? What should he do? Act nice to him? To Momoshiro? Easier said than done. Kaidoh wouldn't even know where to begin. And Momoshiro already seems freaked out enough over Echizen saying and doing things. Kaidoh doesn't want to add to that. He doesn't want to make Momoshiro ignore him, too. If Momoshiro finds out, wouldn't it be just as weird?

He glances at Hazue, then back at the ground. "I can try," he says, but doesn't sound very confident at all.

"Yes, just say nice things! Like uhm, he looks …" Nice, is what Hazue wants to say, but him being a guy and all, it feels weird. Momoshiro might not appreciate the sentiment. "Cool." Yes, cool is a much cooler word. "Or … ehh … that you like doing things with him. Right, when he ran with you a few days ago, you should have thanked him for that. Also, even though you both lost, you should have cheered him up a little bit after the last two days from the matches. He seemed a bit down, I think. Having you tell him that he did his best, and that's enough, he'd surely like it!"

And now Hazue was getting pumped up about giving all this advice. He thinks it's sort of endearing the way his brother doesn't know how to give compliments to people.

"And you could like, uhh, go do things together," says Hazue. Preferably not running, that didn't seem to end well for Momoshiro last time. "What does he like doing with you in the first place?"

Kaidoh shrugs. "How am I supposed to know what he likes doing? He looks happy doing anything." Which Kaidoh assumes is just Momoshiro's default face. Smiley idiot. Smiley … cool … idiot? No, that sounds stupid. Even in Kaidoh's thoughts, he's finding it hard to be nice when it comes to Momoshiro.

Hazue grins. "Doesn't that just mean he's always happy being around you?"

Kaidoh's mouth twitches, the corners pulling up, and he covers his face with his hand, feeling embarrassed that something like that could make him smile so automatically. Is that true? Maybe it's true.

"I don't know," he says aloud. Kaidoh knows Momoshiro likes bothering him, teasing him, arguing with him, fighting with him, but he's always thought that's just because Momoshiro thinks Kaidoh is a dumbass. Not because he … is happy to be with him.

"You can find out, you know. If he likes spending time with you." Hazue gives Kaidoh an encouraging smile. "Just ask him to do something with you, and I guarantee you that he'll say yes. Whatever you propose, he'll say yes." Because Hazue is very sure that Momoshiro likes spending time with Kaidoh, and he'll take what he can get.

"And then …I don't know, act nice to him." Hazue looks at Kaidoh with stern eyes. "No fighting."

Kaidoh doesn't particularly like the sound of that. He likes fighting with Momoshiro, for reasons he's never really been able to pin down. Maybe it's the thrill of the competition, getting to knock Momoshiro down a peg, and have it returned to him in kind. Maybe it's something simpler than that, that Kaidoh just likes being close to Momoshiro, but the thought kind of makes Kaidoh feel like a pervert. Fighting is just fighting, right? It's never meant more than that. Although lately there's a weird edge to their fights that Kaidoh doesn't recognize, and it always feels like they're treading a dangerous line into something more, something different. Maybe Hazue is right. Maybe they shouldn't fight anymore. Not until Kaidoh can figure out how to control himself better.

He grunts in agreement, because Hazue sounds confident, and he knows more about people than Kaidoh does. He wouldn't suggest something totally off base. He wouldn't want Kaidoh to look like an idiot. If being nice to Momoshiro, and asking him to do things with him will help settle the nervous flutter in his stomach, then Kaidoh will try. Anything is better than nothing.

"Good. Instead just, you know, be nice to him. Do things with him. And …" Hazue turns his bright red face away. "If you're … too scared to say it, then just, well, show it."

"Show it how?" Kaidoh asks, his voice flat and skeptical. He is definitely not going to do any dumb, mushy, romantic things for Momoshiro. That is out of the question, because he doesn't feel dumb, mushy, romantic things for the idiot. Probably. Maybe. He hopes not. He doesn't know how to define what he feels. He's always just avoided thinking about it as much as possible. He actually isn't sure what those kind of feelings are supposed to feel like in the first place. What if he already has them? What if he's all mushy for Momoshiro? The idea alone makes Kaidoh want to run forever.

"I ehh …" Hazue tries to form his thoughts in a more cohesive sentence. Quite frankly, Hazue thinks Kaidoh already shows it just fine; he's not very good at hiding his feelings for Momoshiro (though he likes to think so—maybe he's just really gullible?), and he's already showing it quite often.

Like for example, when Kaidoh made Momoshiro those rainbow coloured roses (red flags should have raised up by now), that's actually a very romantic gift. And Kaidoh did it all on his own—though Momoshiro was the one to request it. And maybe Kaidoh gave something to Momoshiro on his birthday. Hazue isn't sure if he did or not, but he does know they spent time together, not to mention they performed a fire dance together. Hazue remembers that day fondly; his brother looked really cool, and he admired Momoshiro for being able to get Kaidoh to go along with it in the first place. He could make Kaidoh do anything, Hazue noticed.

"Well, like, giving him things … and stuff," says Hazue lamely. "Like those rainbow roses you made for him? He loved those! I'm sure he'd be happy to receive anything you make for him." Hazue nudges his elbow softly into Kaidoh's side. "And don't back out on it, give it to him this time. I know about all the gifts you were planning on giving him, Kaoru-nii-chan."

Kaidoh's cheeks turn pink upon hearing that Hazue knew about all the presents he made in the past. He thought he'd hid them well. Was it really that obvious?

"Those were just stupid things," he says, and lets out a huff of air. "If I … Now … I don't want him to … to think …" Kaidoh isn't sure what Momoshiro would think. That Kaidoh likes him? Would that be so bad? Isn't that the point? Why is it such a terrifying thing for Kaidoh to imagine?

He looks hesitantly at his brother. "You're sure he wouldn't mind?"

"Of course he wouldn't. Hasn't he been asking for a lot of things recently? From you, no less?" asks Hazue. He was pretty sure that Momoshiro wanted a chocolate cake with strawberries from Kaidoh. Or at least make them together.

Actually, now that Hazue thinks back on that, he realizes that entire post had been rather … strange. Momoshiro kept coaxing Kaidoh into saying he liked him. Really now—they're both terrible at hiding their own feelings. Now Hazue is almost 100% sure that Momoshiro likes Kaidoh too; why else would he keep saying things like 'so you like me, right?'.

"Momo-nii-chan seems like a simpleminded guy, I think he'd love to get anything from you, it definitely wouldn't bother him." Hazue is sure of that. "And you can also do other things besides … gifts."

Kaidoh feels like maybe he should be taking notes. Usually he is the one giving his brother tips—the best ways to stretch, how much weight he should be lifting, how to pace himself while running—but this is unfamiliar territory. In fact, Kaidoh is pretty clueless.

When his mother had arranged meetings for him before with girls (you need to meet some girls!) all those years ago, she had coached him a little beforehand about how to be charming and polite. It hadn't really done much good because Kaidoh was frozen stiff with nervousness anyway, and besides, Momoshiro isn't a girl. He's Momoshiro. It's completely different. Kaidoh's always known how to act around him. It just feels natural. He never has to try. He doesn't know what would happen if he did try. If he does all these things Hazue is suggesting, won't everything change?

"What do you mean other things?" he asks.

Hazue purses his lips in thought. "Like …" He makes a weird gesture with his hands, as if this will explain Kaidoh what he truly means. "I mean …" It's hard to tell his brother that if he can't get himself to tell Momoshiro he likes him straight to his face, then he should show it. With … his body.

Ew, that just sounds totally gross, and Hazue really doesn't want to think about that.

"Like ehh …" Hazue goes red in his face, so just like Kaidoh, he hides it in his hands. "Kiss?" is Hazue's tiny reply. He feels drained.

A weird strangled squawk bubbles out of Kaidoh's throat. "W-what?!" he stammers. "I'm not going to … to … to do that with him!"

Again Hazue makes a weird gesture with his hands. "Or … hold his hand?" he suggests instead.

There's a sudden image in Kaidoh's head of him and Momoshiro with their hands linked and swinging between them as they run. For some reason there are flowers everywhere too. He screws his face up in embarrassment and shakes his head to try to get rid of it. It's not going away. Kaidoh's palms start to feel sweaty so he balls his hands up into fists again and stuffs them into his towel.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, though. It's just like an extended fist bump, right? With hands open instead of closed. Maybe Kaidoh could manage that, if it's something people do when they … when they … feel the way Kaidoh does. It's not like touching Momoshiro is weird to him. He does it all the time. It's just that he never thinks about it like that. Like he's … touching him. Damnit. He's thinking about it like that now though, and it's making his cheeks feel like they're on fire.

He kicks at the sand. "This is embarrassing," he grumbles. It doesn't make it any less so to admit it out loud.

Hazue gives Kaidoh a weak smile. "I know. That's what it feels like to have a person you like." He makes himself small and huddles his knees closer to his chest. "Like with my girlfriend ... oh, ex girlfriend I guess. I really liked her, but I was always so nervous to do things with her … like hold her hand … or kiss her. I did do it though, despite it being all weird and awkward, and probably the most embarrassing thing on earth."

But Hazue knows Kaidoh doesn't act nervous in front of Momoshiro. Or at least, he hasn't noticed yet. "But you're always very friendly with Momo-nii-chan in the first place. I guess if it's too terrifying to do it on your own, how about you indulge him? He's always super friendly, and if you let him instead of pushing him away … well …" Then you'd see the result whether Momoshiro likes Kaidoh or not.

"I don't know, I think it's for the best if you don't fight him, or argue with him. Just act natural! And ask him to do things with you, of course."

"Okay..." Kaidoh says slowly, but doesn't sound like he's okay at all. How could he be? He can't just suddenly say nice things to Momoshiro, and ask him to do things together, and … hold his hand without everything changing between them. Kaidoh doesn't know if he wants that. Natural to him means being able to punch Momoshiro and wrestle with him and fling insults in his face. Kaidoh wonders if that can be expanded to include other things too, or if everything else will continue to fluster and frustrate him and make him want to run.

He should try though, especially if his brother seems so certain that the result will be positive. "Okay," he repeats, a little more confidently. Kaidoh will just have to take it as a challenge. At least a challenge is something that makes sense to him.

"That's the spirit!" Hazue pats on Kaidoh's back again, happy that his advice got through to him. He needs a little bit more pushing though. "You should go ask him out to do something with you right now."

"I should?" Kaidoh's voice cracks over the question. Right now? The immediacy freaks Kaidoh out, but maybe Hazue has a point. If Kaidoh doesn't bite the bullet and ask right away, he'll probably push it from his mind and never do it. "Would, uh, running be okay?" he asks, as though running is his security blanket. Which it kind of is. He wants to stick with something familiar; he can only change so many variables at once.

Hazue face drops and spreads out his lips into a thin horizontal line. No, running is probably not a good idea, but his brother looks so hopeful, and nervous—and running is probably the only thing he can deal with. He reluctantly nods his head, slightly, a bit unsure still (Momoshiro did pass out a few days ago, and he's been complaining about sore muscles from the last two doubles matches), but he has to throw his brother a bone. If running will give him the courage to ask Momoshiro out, then running it is.

"Yes but uhm, don't run too much, and take it slow, and don't forget to say something nice to him." As long as his brother can do that, there shouldn't be a problem. "And no fighting." Kaidoh doesn't have to do things like … kissing and holding hands right away, or at least, not right now. His brother really would have a heart attack if he attempted to do such things. Yes, for now he should just spend more time with Momoshiro. Hazue's sure that if he doesn't fight, and acts nice, something is bound to happen.

"As long as you spend time with him, that isn't spent fighting … then I think you will do fine, Kaoru-nii-chan. I'm sure Momo-nii-chan will reciprocate in kind, he'll definitely like it." Hazue stands up and dusts off his butt. "And I'm pretty sure he likes you too," he says with a smile. "All you need to do, is spend more time with him."

Hazue bends down a little to Kaidoh's level, as if to whisper a secret. "And if that doesn't work out, I can always tell him for you."

Kaidoh looks up. "You don't have to do that," he says, his voice gruff and a little worried. He knows his brother means well, but Kaidoh is horrified by the idea of him talking to Momoshiro about this … almost as horrified as he is about talking to Momoshiro about this, himself. As long as he doesn't have to say it, as long as he doesn't have to acknowledge what it is, then maybe Kaidoh will be fine doing what Hazue has suggested. Maybe Kaidoh can go running with Momoshiro and make an effort to spend more time with him and tell him nice things. Maybe.

He pulls himself to his feet, the towel still clenched in his right hand, the tension still there. Now he's tall again and looking down at his brother, but he still feels small and nervous.

"I can … uh … I can show him on my own," he adds quietly, trying to sound certain, even though he isn't sure where to even begin. He's never done this before, at least never on purpose.

Hazue straightens up and pats Kaidoh on his arm. "Good luck, I'll be cheering for you!" Then behind Kaidoh, he can see a figure appear in the distance. "Actually, I'll be off right now, I see Momo-nii-chan coming back." Hazue starts taking a few steps towards the direction of his own hammock and waves at his brother.

"Be nice!" he calls out at him before he dashes away so he can give Kaidoh and Momoshiro some privacy.