The Holiday Reunion
October Two years later :
The beeping of heart monitors and the squeak of sneakers against the tile floor as nurses ran up and down the corridors were nothing but white noise to her as Sakura stared at the screen on the wall. She had just finished giving an update to a family regarding their grandfather's surgery when she glanced at the waiting room T.V.
Normally she would not have paid it any more attention than a fleeting glance as she walked in and out of the waiting room. She was hardly ever curious about what was playing in an attempt to distract the visitors from worry of their loved ones. Usually it was monotonous news or the occasional rerun of a popular drama.
Today was the news. And on any other day she would have not let herself linger from her rotational duties. However, a certain image being displayed in the top right corner as two anchors spoke had Sakura coming to a halting stop as her eyes became glued to the T.V.
It was Sasuke.
The events of her run in with him two years ago were hazy recollections due to the inebriated state she had been in. Sometimes she often wondered if it had all been a really bad dream. But as she took in the image of him displayed on the screen, she knew it had been real. That had really been him.
It was not the eighteen year old boy that she had watched departing on the bus after giving her promises of return. It was the grown man that she had run into at the club. The one who had looked at her as if she was a nobody one moment then made renewed promises of return in the next.
She examined the image of him provided on the screen. And it was all there but again with the changes of time. His midnight hair was now almost considerably tame as it hung longer than she had ever seen it. Giving him a resemblance to his father and brother even more. Then his eyes. Two years ago they had held such an empty look it had sent shivers from the coldness they held. And while this captured image did not have that emptiness, the dark stare that bore through the screen and into her held something else that still had her skin prickling with goosebumps. Within his dark look was a heated emotion that Sakura could only label as vengeful. Paired with the firm set of his mouth and furrow of the brow, it made for a menacing photo image.
After recovering from the shock of his image, she was finally able to focus on what the announcer was saying.
"And back with an update on today's ground breaking news: Ex military official General Orochimaru, a heavily decorated officer during his service to the country was killed yesterday. His death has been a controversial event as well as shocking. Following his death, an entire block in the eastern sector of Otogakure was destroyed, revealing an underground military force known as: Otogakure Special Operations or OSO.
Sasuke Uchiha, an elite member of the organization for the past five years, was the cause of all of this revelation."
The camera zoomed in on the image of Sasuke for a few moments before the announcer continued.
"For those who are not familiar, Sasuke Uchiha is the youngest son of none other than Fugaku and Mikoto Uchiha and nephew to the more well known Madara Uchiha of Uchiha Cooperation. Authorities say that he showed up at Konoha headquarters to turn himself in for the assasination of General Orochimaru and the destruction in the city of Otogakure. Given the evidence provided by Sasuke Uchiha as well as his actions, it is yet to be determined what the repercussions of his involvement with OSO will be."
As the announcer spoke, the screen had cut to a video coverage depicting Sasuke emerging from a police car and being escorted by two officers into a government building. Around him had been a large crowd of news reporters and spectators behind a wall of officers struggling to keep them back. After a brief feed of this, the screen cut back to the two reporters sitting behind the large news desk.
"We are about to go to our break, but up next, a deeper look into Sasuke Uchiha. Was this a noble infiltration mission or a sham act of heroism?"
There was a short pause as the two reporters stared at the camera with bright smiles until the screen cut to a commercial. A blaring advertisement that contrasted drastically with what had just been presented took over the screen. As bright colors and flashing images took over the screen, a spokesperson raved loudly about a new flavor of Ichiraku ramen.
Sakura remained staring at the screen, her eyes not really watching and her ears not truly listening.
She stood there for the duration of the commercial until she overheard a conversation that had struck up between two people that were sitting nearby.
"It takes a special person to be able to do such things," one of them was saying. "The mental state you would have to be in. Did you hear the reports earlier about the training? Practically torture, let alone the type of missions they did. That Sasuke kid clearly knew how messed up the organization is but he went through with it anyways. Do you suppose he was undercover or went in like a vigilante?"
The second person was vigorously shaking his head with a deep frown. He let out a scoff before voicing his disagreement.
"Psh. That kid was just trying to save his skin. You can see it in his eyes. That kid enjoyed the killing. Bet the federals were just onto them and he saw a sinking ship and bailed. Made it look like sabotage from within so they would offer him a pardon."
"Paging doctor Haruno. Please report to the nurses station in the eastern wing."
Sakura broke out of her trance, wrenching her eyes from the T.V, her body somehow responding to the summons as she did her best to ignore the arguing pair as she walked by them.
She had not heard a single whisper of Sasuke since her run in outside the club that night. It had been obvious Sasuke had changed, there had been a darkness about him back then. But never had she suspected he had been involved in something to this extent. Gangs maybe but terrorism? Her mind wandered to the promise he had made. He had said he would find a way back home. Was this it?
"Dr. Haruno!" A nurse was rushed down the corridor towards her when she spotted her coming down the east corridor towards the nurses station. "The patient in room 409 just had a seizure."
The urgency in the nurse's voice flipped a switch within Sakura that Ino had dubbed her "doctor mode". When she was in it, there were no distractions.
It was something she quickly learned and adapted under the tutelage of Dr. Tsunade Senju in the first months of her residency. And tonight, she prayed it would hold fast until the end of the shift.
November:
Sasuke hated the silence of the suburbs. He had never noticed how quiet it was growing up. But now, as he laid in his bed, it felt suffocating as he stared up at the ceiling dreading the moment sleep would overcome him and the nightmares would awaken in his mind.
He lifted his hand and in the dim light from the moon beams that entered through the crack in his drawn shades, Sasuke looked at his watch.
It was the very same watch that Itachi had given him what felt like a lifetime ago. It had been taken from him the first day of recruitment into the OSO and he had retrieved it from a lockbox in the barracks just minutes before the entire place went up in flames.
He let out a heavy sigh when he saw it was not even four in the morning.
It had been just shy of a month since he killed Orochimaru and turned himself in. He spent half of that time locked in a detention center until he was finally released to go home under house arrest. No doubt his family had pulled some strings for such arrangements to be made. And the timely manner most likely from pressure that Madara had put on the public security intelligence agency. Any other person would most likely sit in prison for months, possibly years while they waited for their trial.
While Sasuke acknowledged that his family was doing what they thought was in his best interest, he hated being at home. In the detainment center at least things had felt familiar. The gray walls and corridors, the high security and constant lockdown. Even the questionable meals. It all reminded him of the barracks he had been living in for the past five years. It was his normal aside from when he went abroad for missions. But even then, it was always run down hotels in shady parts of the city that never truly slept that housed him.
Now in his childhood home Sasuke found himself in unease.
The neighborhood was too quiet and still. So silent that when there was something making noise he was fully aware of it. And with his years of training, it was every single thing. He would hear his father rise in the morning, could hear the squeak of the shower head being turned on, the slip of silk fabric as he tied his tie, and the metallic click of the door as he locked the door as he left the house.
During the day he mentally followed his mother around the house as she went about cooking and cleaning.
All of the comings and goings echoed in his ears. Every time he heard a jogger ran by Sasuke found himself watching them from a window, surveying their movements and watching for any signs of infiltration.
The silence was deafening.
And it wasn't just the sounds.
It was the warmth and comfort that his home had. It was the forgotten familiarity of it that made him feel as if he were an imposter.
Perhaps he once belonged within these walls. But no longer.
Each time he walked into the room it was like gazing upon a stage as recollection and memory played across his mind. After years of cutting himself off from all emotion and feelings, it hurt when they suddenly came rushing back into him. When it happened the guilt, loss, and anger became stronger. All of it mixing together and pooling into melancholy. Each time they brought a tightness within his chest and he felt himself struggling to breath.
His court ordered therapist would have fancy words and a diagnosis for it but that would require him speaking during their sessions and voicing this discomfort.
Twice a week he was allowed to leave the premises of his house for a session with her. Which consisted of an hour of sitting in a far too comfortable chair while he and his therapist stared at each other. Occasionally she would ask a prodding question and he would shrug or grunt in reply.
He felt the sessions were pointless. He didn't need someone to tell him his mind was fucked up and prescribe him drugs. Orochimaru had given enough drugs that did strange things to him and altered him. Now he was not so open to blindly just taking what a stranger prescribed. His logic told him that his shrink wasn't a manic terrorist. But the side effects of what he had gone through told him otherwise.
Again Sasuke knew his therapist would have a fancy clinical word for that. But he didn't care to know the clinical term. All he knew was it kept him up at night to avoid the nightmares. As a result the lack of sleep only served to make him more unstable.
Sleep or no sleep, it was lose-lose.
After lying on the bed for a few more restless minutes, Sasuke pulled back the covers and rolled over to sit at the side of his bed. There he waited a moment before standing and walking over to his dresser to pull on a shirt. His family had long gone to bed, he had heard them all each make their individual trips.
Itachi was first, having moved back into the house when Sasuke returned. The medications he took to maintain his condition caused him fatigue as a side effect. Sasuke had listened to him walk past his door to get to his own bedroom, muttering a 'Goodnight, Sasuke' as he passed by.
Not long after Itachi had gone to bed, Sasuke had heard his mother make her way. His ears caught her approach to his room where she lingered. Most likely debating on if to disturb him or not. In the end, she let out a soft bidding of goodnight through the door. She waited a moment for a reply that Sasuke did not give until he heard her feet begin a retreat to her room down the hall.
It was not until late in the night his father had finally emerged from his office and joined his wife in sleep. Unlike his mother, Fagaku didn't bother bidding him goodnight. He didn't bother speaking to him at all. And Sasuke did not mind.
It was during these times that Sasuke liked to roam around, when there was no one to give him looks. Looks of pain. Looks of unasked questions. Looks of worry, anger, and hurt. They were endlessly tiresome.
Sliding on a pair of shoes and coat, Sasuke made his way silently through the house and to the front entryway.
Slipping out the door, Sasuke walked down the driveway until his toes touched the line in pavement that distinguished the driveway of public property and the pavement of the neighborhood street.
It was the borderline of his freedom, dictated by the ankle bracelet around his left leg.
He looked out across the street and was greeted with the dim silhouette of the jungle gym of the park. His eyes traced the slide and the swings as childhood memories played across his mind. So vivid he could have sworn he saw a blur of pink, orange, and blue streak across the empty dark playground.
He had yet to see anyone else from his past other than his family. Not that being on house arrest made it all that easy. But he knew that was just an excuse. He could reach out himself. Hell, Naruto had even showed up knocking on his front door the day he was released from the detention center. However he had not come down and thankfully Itachi's words had persuaded Naruto to give it some time.
At least that is what Sasuke assumed, considering Naruto hadn't just come up and barged in. While Sasuke knew that a lot had changed, he knew Nartuo would always be the same. Something that he took comfort in.
He knew that someday he would have to face Naruto, someday he would have to face the whole world outside the confines of his family's property. However, right now he was not ready and there were certain people he felt deserved to be offered his explanations and answers first. He just wasn't sure how exactly to do that.
Two years ago he had remade a promise to Sakura to return home. It had slipped from his lips so easily back then. And he had thought it would have been just as easy. But reality was much more difficult. It wasn't as if he expected her to wait for him nor forgive him. He was aware he had hurt her and strung her along. His juvenile and selfish decision had hurt many, but he was sure it had hurt Sakura the most. And now, he had gone down so many dark roads he wasn't even sure he had come back whole.
No, that was not right.
He knew he had not come back whole. He was broken and damaged to a point he was sure could never be fixed. He had done things that even if pardoned by lawmakers, would still forever stain his hands. Hands that he did not dare dirty someone's life with. Someone such as Sakura.
However, he still had a duty to at least face her. To at least give her some kind of closure, so she could move on. If she hadn't already.
He let out an exhale which created a cloud as his breath cooled in the air. He shoved his hands into his pockets to keep his fingers from going numb. And looking down at his feet, he toed the invisible line before beginning to walk along the perimeter.
The sun was just beginning to rise when Sasuke decided to go back inside.
As he walked into the kitchen, the smell of fresh coffee and eggs hit his nose making his mouth water. If there was one thing that he did not mind in his current life situation, it was his mothers cooking. His father and brother were already sitting at the breakfast bar while his mother moved around the kitchen.
His mother was the first to notice him and immediately a warm smile graced her face which was beginning to show her age.
"Oh Sasuke, I thought you were still asleep upstairs…" She looked between him and the other two Uchiha men that were seated at the table.
Her acknowledgement announced his presence to the other two and caused them to look in his direction. Fagaku lowered his newspaper for a glance. After taking in his son for a few moments he folded it closed and stood up.
"I need to head to the office early," he announced as he stood, giving his wife a peck on the cheek.
He gave his eldest son a short word of acknowledgment then made his way out of the kitchen. He paused for a short moment, then continued past him without even a single nod of acknowledgment.
"Why don't you come sit down," Mikoto invited, trying to ease the slight of his father and soften the awkwardness in the air.
"Ah," Sasuke sounded.
He took the seat his father had just vacated. Mikoto replaced his fathers half eaten breakfast with a fresh plate fixed with an omelet that was topped with a surplus of tomatoes. Sasuke could not help but give his mother a small smile that felt strained to form. But it brought about a beam from her.
All the while he felt the heavy stare of his brother as Itachi read him.
While Sasuke was the one with the specialized training. Itachi had always had a gift for seeing the smallest of body movements and interpreting them to the deepest thoughts of the person.
"He will warm up to you again," Itachi said quietly enough so that their mother could not hear. "Just give him time."
"It's fine," Sasuke brushed off. "It's not like he ever really acknowledged me before. S'pouse he always knew I would grow up to be the shame of the family."
"You're notー"
He was interrupted by the side door bursting open as Shisui entered the house, taking in a deep breath of the kitchen's aroma.
"Ah, the sweet smell of breakfast!" He swiftly crossed the kitchen and stuffed a fried donut dusted with matcha powder in his mouth. "Mikoto, your cooking is superb as always."
He reached for another, only for it to be snatched from the plate by another. Looking as if someone had just insulted his entire family three generations back, Shisui looked at the offender. A wide grin replaced his shock as he watched his young cousin take a bite then set it down on his plate as he focused on eating the stray pieces of tomato still left on his plate.
"Well hey there killer!" Shisui said, wrapping an arm around Sasuke's shoulders who stiffened upon the physical contact. Shisui looked around to see Itachi's disapproving stare and Mikoto's worried frowning. "What? Too soon?"
"Don't you have somewhere else to beg for food?" Sasuke asked, shrugging his shoulders free of Shisui's arms. "Somewhere like your house, or maybe at your job where you should be? I'm sure they have a box of donuts down at the station."
"Well of course, but I'm a growing boy," he said, slapping his more than well toned and lean stomach.
Sasuke rolled his eyes and pushed his seat back. "Thank you for breakfast," he said to his mother. Then to no one in particular, "I need to get ready for my appointment today."
"Oh yeah," Shisui chimed as Sasuke was about to leave the kitchen. "That was the other reason why I am here. Guess who gets to take you to your shrink today. Do you think she will let me join in the session since I'm family? I've got a lot of questions for her regarding you." He slipped into the chair Sasuke was vacating and leaned back. "It all started when my aunt came home from the hospital and said a grump duckling was my cousin…"
Sasuke grunted, putting on an air of annoyance as he left the kitchen. He heard Shisui's monologue stop when he let out a yelp and Mikoto began to let out a scolding that became muffled as Sasuke made his way down the hall and upstairs.
In all honesty, Sasuke actually appreciated Shisui's antics. He didn't sugar coat or tiptoe like the rest of his family. He was the one person Sasuke felt at ease around. Although that was something he would take to the grave. If Shisui ever thought Sasuke held the smallest of respect for him he would never hear the end of it.
New Years Eve:
Sakura bit at her lip as her eyes moved back and forth between the options. She stood still as she weighed the decision before her. It was a difficult one.
Did she get the shrimp or miso flavor? There was a tempting tempura option, however the flaming label and cartoon shrimp with fire coming out of its mouth warned her that she would not like the spice level.
If it were any other day she would be at Ichiraku and perhaps even invite Naruto. However, given the holiday, most places were already closed for festivities. Which left her at the mercy of the convenience store at the corner of her street.
Her stomach gave another rumble.
Snatching up both flavors, she walked over to the counter where a middle aged, unhappy looking man was perched. He was sitting on a stool watching the small T.V. that was hanging in the corner behind the checkout counter.
When she set the ramen cups down the man did not move, his eyes still glued to the television as he either did not notice her or did not care. She grabbed a few other things and placed them into a small pile on the counter. Strawberry Pocky, a bag of chips, and an assortment of candies. Waiting for the clerk, Sakura glanced up at the screen to see what had the man's attention so engaged.
It was a news report. Covering the top ten biggest news of the past year. Currently they were talking about the downfall of Orochimaru and of course, the return of Sasuke Uchiha.
Sakura frowned at the screen.
Whenever it came to the return of Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura was conflicted. Sasuke was back, but life seemed just about the same. Not that she disliked her life, nor had the past years been unfulfilling without him. But there was always something poking in the deeper recesses of her mind and telling her that something was wrong.
It was like that sensation of feeling like something was being forgotten but not knowing what it was. Sakura had not even noticed that his absence in her life was affecting her until a couple years ago when she had run into him at the club. Seeing him, hearing his voice, touching him. It had all dug up everything she had worked so hard to bury and ignore to hide away the hurt of his departure.
It wasn't as if she expected him to show up on her front door with a heartfelt apology and flowers. In all honesty she wasn't even sure what she expected. The revelation of what he had gotten himself into and done over the past years had thrown her for a loop.
She didn't pretend to understand the depths of his actions or even what he truly did. But from what was revealed in the news, it wasn't anything good.
Annoyed at herself for dwelling on the subject, Sakura looked back at the clerk. She had promised herself that she would not make any judgements or assumptions of Sasuke until she heard it from his own lips.
Glaring at the clerk whose eyes were still glued to the screen, she cleared her throat, catching the man's attention as he finally drew his eyes away from the screen.
"Oh it's you Sakura," the man said.
Having frequented the convenience store many times over the years since she was old enough to run down and buy a treat. The man had become familiar with her as well as her childhood male companions.
"I don't see you too often these days," he commented as he began scanning the items.
"Yes, I live more in the city now," she explained. "With my hours always changing in the residency program I thought it would be better if I lived closer to the hospital."
"Ah yes." He glanced back at the television, then gave her a quick look before looking down to scan her next item. He cleared his throat. "I heard the dark haired boy you used to hang out with all the time came back…what was his name again?"
Sakura frowned.
She knew he knew Sasuke's name. He was prodding for information, like a lot of people who knew her relationship with Sasuke. No doubt assuming she had plenty of inside information. But even if she had that information, she would not give it.
However, as it was, she had not seen hide nor hair, let alone heard from Sasuke since he returned. To say she was slightly disappointed was an understatement. But she was not going to be the one to run to him seeking him out. If he wanted to see her, he had plenty of resources among his family to seek her out.
Pushing Sasuke out of her mind. Sakura handed over a bill to cover her purchase and took the plastic bag the store clerk handed her in exchange. Bidding him a Happy New Year, she left the warmth of the small store into the brisk cold of the winter evening.
The street lamps were just beginning to flicker on as she made her way down the empty street, the last of the evening light giving her just enough guidance to make her way to her childhood home.
There was a flash of headlights as someone turned down the street and Sakura moved closer to the side to give the car plenty of room to pass by. However, just as the car had reached her, the screech of the brakes and tires rubbing against the pavement filled the street as it came to a stop. Alarmed, Sakura looked towards the car just in time for the tinted window to roll down to reveal a familiar feminine face.
"Sakura!" Mikoto exclaimed. "It is you! What are you doing here? Your mother said they were going to be in Suna for the holidays. Did they come home early? Is everything alright? Were you not joining them?"
Sakura gave the woman a warm smile and approached the car, leaning into the open window.
"They are both well and still in Suna visiting my grandparents. I just came back early because of my rotations," Sakura explained. "I'm just house sitting for them until they get back in a couple of days. Once they get back I'll go back to my apartment."
"So you are all alone tonight? No New Year's celebrations?"
"Oh, we had our traditional dinner before I left Suna. Don't worry, I don't mind a quiet slipping into a new year once in a while. I've still got myself covered. I've got a whole new series on Netflix to binge watch," Sakura lifted her plastic bag of snacks, "and I just got myself all set for food!" she said optimistically.
Mikoto looked at the plastic bag with a deep frown on her face. In an instant she was shaking her head. "Nope! Not happening," she said as she leaned over in her car and pushed the door open. "Get in, young lady. I will not allow you to spend the holiday alone."
Sakura threw up her hands. "Oh no, it's quite alright. I really wouldn't want to impose."
This only earned her a far stronger disapproving glare than her ramen did. No one denied Mikoto Uchiha an opportunity to shower them with nurturing love.
"Sakura Haruno! You should know better that you are never an imposition in my house," Mikoto chastised. "Now get inside this vehicle! If a single one of those Uchihas back home learned I didn't bring you I would be stripped of the name Uchiha without trial!"
Sakura could not help but laugh. Knowing full well that resisting was useless, she gave in and climbed into the car. Instantly she was enveloped by the sweet scent that Mikoto always smelled of as the older woman wrapped her in an embrace.
"Oh my sweet girl, it has been too long!" she said, pulling away and putting her car into drive. "Everyone will be so excited to see you! I think you are just the thing some of us needed going into the new year!"
Unsure of what Mikoto meant, Sakura brushed it off as Mikoto's way of managing to overly complement, yet sound and be entirely sincere. It had been awhile since she had seen most of the Uchiha's. The exceptions being Itachi when he came for his check ups at the hospital and Mikoto when she invited Sakura for lunch every few months. Other than those two it had been awhile since she had seen any of the others. Fugaku, Madara, Izuna, Shisui, Obito….
Suddenly it hit her.
Sasuke.
Would Sasuke be there? Panic began to course through her veins like ice water making her feel as if she was breaking out in a cold sweat.
The thought of him being home did not even cross her mind until now. She had known he was released from custody several weeks back yet never had she thought about where he would be staying!
Sakura peeked at Mikoto who had a conspiratorial smile placed on her lips. And that smile told her everything.
Sasuke was home.
She was just debating on opening the door and rolling out of the moving car when she realized that Mikoto had already pulled into the garage and the door was shutting behind them. It was too late, Sakura's fate was sealed.
Sasuke was in his room, delaying his descent downstairs where the party was just beginning. His uncles had arrived just before his mother had gone out to pick up a few more things despite the fact that she had already cooked enough to feed an army for a week. And by the boisterous laughter that was drifting up the stairs, Shisui had arrived as well.
When he saw his mother's car pull into the driveway, Sasuke knew that he would no longer be allowed to seclude himself. So instead of waiting for someone to be sent up to fetch him, Sasuke voluntarily made his way down the stairs and towards the kitchen where it seemed everyone was gathering as they hungrily waited for Mikoto to allow them to start eating from the buffet she had prepared and set up along the counter.
"And look who I found on the side of the road!" He heard his mother saying just before he opened the swinging door that opened into the kitchen.
Mikoto's words were followed by what could be interpreted as a buzz of excitement given it was only Uchiha's. Shisui's boisterous greeting was enough to make up for the others. However, as Sasuke pushed the door open to enter, the entire room went silent the moment he stepped into the room.
His eyes scanned the room for the cause of commotion only to come to a halting stop when he spotted her. Pink hair covered by the hood of an overly large Konoha University sweatshirt and look of apprehension as her bright green eyes skirted around the room until they fell onto him.
Sakura.
She was standing near the door looking directly at him, shifting from one foot to the other as she grasped a plastic bag to her chest, her other hand in her pocket.
Mikoto wrapped her arm around Sakura in a side hug. "Sasuke!" she said excitedly. "Look who joined us tonight! Isn't it great!"
Sasuke swallowed thickly and managed an "ah."
After a short silence, Sakura pulled her hand from the pocket of her hoodie and pulled down the hood on her sweatshirt. "I brought ramen," she said awkwardly, lifting a plastic bag.
Mikoto let out a click of her tongue. "You have been spending far too much time with the Uzumaki boy."
Grabbing the bag she tossed it onto an empty chair at the bar table.
"Eat some real food," Mikoto said, pushing Sakura towards the front of the buffet set up."You're too skinny."
Still frozen to his spot. Sasuke watched as Sakura's green eye flickered to him, then moved away just as quickly as Shisui swooped in and handed her a plate. Wrapping an arm around her and guiding her through the buffet as if he was a historian giving a tour at a museum.
"And here we have Mikoto's famous rice balls…"
As the awkwardness in the air eased with Shisui's ease, the others began to attack the spread of food. Loading up their plates and settling in the dining room. Eventually leaving Sasuke alone in the kitchen. His stomach churning and for the first time in many years, feeling panicked.
"And how is your apprenticeship going with that Senju?" Madara asked. The rivaled family name said with a tone of loathing and disrespect. "You know it's not too late to take me up on my offer. You would certainly go far beyond in a career with Uchiha than with any Senju."
"Tempting," Sakura tactfully said with a smile. "But I think I want to give medicine a try for at least a few more years."
Madara proceeded to go on about what the Senju lacked before going on a long winded rant on why Uchiha were better than Senju. As his hatred for Senju was no secret, the rest of the table proceeded to let his words go into one ear then the other. Shisui occasionally cut in, praising a recent accomplishment or the Senju or reminding Madara of a time when Hashirama Senju had best Madara in the past. All while Shisui gave Sakura conspiratorial looks as he continued to chaotically provoke the patriarch of his family name.
From the corner of the room, Sasuke picked at his food.
Picked meaning, he picked his food up only to move it to a different part of his plate. It was a task that seemed to take a lot of concentration as he did not once dare lift his eyes from his plate.
Instead he stared intently at his plate, listening to every clink of silverware against china, a scrape of a chair against the floor, and analyzed every word of conversation to provide a picture of what was going on around him.
However, long after dinner had finished, Sasuke found himself so focused on what was going on at the opposite end of the room, that he failed to notice what was happening right next to him.
Shisui.
"So, are you going to talk to her tonight?" Shisui asked, sidling up next to him where he sat on the couch.
It was now ten o'clock and the party had since dispersed around the house. The 'adults' sat in the sitting room. Doing their best to not talk business while the 'children'', who had long since grown up but still referred to as the children by the older generation, had taken over the TV room.
Sasuke shrugged off his cousin's arm with a grunt. "Leave me alone Shisui."
"Common killer, I know they always say every party has a pooper," Shisui sang. "But shit, we don't need two! Madara was enough of a pooper with his Senju hate speech at dinner. We came down here to escape the board meeting he's trying to manage upstairs. You can have a little fun on a holiday."
"..." Sasuke only responded with a flicker of attention to Sakura who was animatedly speaking with Itachi's girlfriend.
Her name was Izumi. And from what Sasuke could tell, she would soon become a part of the Uchiha family line.
He had found a ring tucked away in Itachi's dresser the other day when boredom had him running a recon of his house when everyone else was at work.
Itachi had introduced her a few weeks ago. At first the idea of his brother being attached to someone, and living a life so…fully was strange to Sasuke. In fact seeing him looking so healthy and alive was still strange.
Before Sasuke had left to join Orochimaru, Itachi was hollow cheeked and unnervingly frail. The last memory and image that haunted him for years to follow was of Itachi laying in a bed with wires and monitor hooked up to his body. Now he had color to his cheeks and while still thin, had a healthy physique.
He also looked inexplicably happy. And Sasuke had discovered the source of that happiness when his brother introduced him to Izumi.
From what Sasuke had picked up she was an average girl from an average family. She was pretty but nothing that would set her above most girls. She talked…a lot. Yet seemed to know when to stop and just let silence fall in a conversation when it came to being around Uchiha's. She was kind and considerate but did not allow herself to be trampled by the dominance of his fellow Uchiha family members. And perhaps Sasuke had always thought different, or maybe his family had changed, but she seemed to be easily accepted amongst his otherwise judgmental and elitist family.
Even Fugaku seemed to approve of her.
And this happy addition to his family's life was apparently thanks to Sakura.
Izumi had been a short term patient of Sakura's. And it was through her that Itachi and Izumi met. Making yet another reason for Sasuke to feel unworthily indebted to Sakura. The way she had continued to look after his family, to fight for his family after what he had done.
Sakura glanced over to where he was settled and Sasuke quickly focused his eyes on the ceiling fan above him. Leaning further into the cushions of the couch, he shoved his hands deeper into his pockets.
"She seems to be enjoying herself plenty without me ruining her evening," he mumbled back finally.
"Look Sasuke," Shisui began, his voice unnaturally serious and sober of any teasing that Sasuke found himself looking at his cousin. "You need to talk to her."
"I don't think she wants that," Sasuke admitted.
"And you know this because you know so much about relationships and social cues?" Shisui countered.
Sasuke gave a dark look to Shisui. "I can read people far better than most. I spent five years being trained how to read every physical movement down to the faintest muscle twitch in a person's finger."
"Yeah and they stripped you of being able to feel and understand any emotion that you felt," Shisui snapped back, a strange bitterness in his voice.
He leaned up as if to stand and leave. But before he rose, he gave Sasuke a hard look.
"Look Sasuke, I know what it's like to turn off your emotions and turn them back on. I do it all the time in the force.
Every time I enter a house to make an arrest on a druggie and find a kid that has been neglected and left to fend for themself in a house with only alcohol in the fridge and used needles on the kitchen table I have to turn it off. Because if I don't I would end up beating the offender to death right then and there.
And everytime I drop that kid off at an overcrowded foster home I have to turn it off because I know the system is broken and there is no telling if that kid is any better off being in the system then surviving on their own.
Each time I arrest someone barely old enough to be an adult and they are begging and pleading with me to let them go, that they just needed the money for their family, or it was an accident, they didn't mean it, I turn it off.
And everytime I come home, I desperately want to leave it off. Because then I don't have to feel it. But I make myself turn it on. And I feel it. I feel the guilt, the anger, the sorrow. It's overwhelming and sometimes debilitating. But I live with it.
I get that you did some fucked up shit. I understand that you don't feel worthy to have normal in your life and that you don't deserve forgiveness. But in the end, what you did…I read the reports. The sex trafficking rings that you brought down. The child slavery you ended. The shit faces you exposed…I may not understand why you got yourself into that mess, but I sure as hell admire you for what you did in the end."
Shisui stood up and looked down at Sasuke.
"You did the world a favor, now do yourself a favor and talk to her. Let her decide if you're worthy of her or not."
Shisui didn't wait for a response from Sasuke. Instead he turned away from him and walked across the room. And Sasuke watched Shisui, noticing a bounce in his step suddenly appear as his cousin turned back into the obnoxious loudmouth that Sasuke was far more familiar with than the Shisui who had just lectured him.
Then Sasuke looked at Sakura, finding that she was looking at him. And he knew it. Shisui was right.
The smoldering end of the cigarette lit up as Sasuke took in a drag. Tilting his head back he let out an exhale as he looked up at the large moon sitting low in the sky. He hadn't smoked much since coming home as his mother didn't like it. But tonight he needed something for his nerves.
Where he was perched up in the old tree house of his family's backyard, it gave him the perfect vantage point to look out across the night sky, over his neighborhood and down into the valley where the main city of Konoha was built into. As he gazed out, the occasional firework erupted and added a spray of color to the otherwise clear sky.
Sasuke silently watched them for a while before he heard the distinct sound of the backdoor and footsteps. He did not bother looking to see who was approaching.
As his ears picked up the light and short stride he deduced who it was before she even began to climb up the ladder. He knew eventually this night would provide an opportunity for them to be alone. And it seemed the time had come.
It was time to talk.
"One out of three people die from smoking in Japan."
Despite his sulky attitude throughout the night. Sasuke could not help the small curl of his lips as Sakura settled down next to him. He flicked the ashes free as he studied both of their feet dangling over the edge. From the corner of his eye he caught her face scrunching with distaste as the smoldering smoke wafted up into her nostrils. Turning slightly he reached behind himself and crushed the end against the floor of the tree house then turned back to her.
"Is that all they teach you in medical school? Smoking is bad for you? If so, you should have paid more attention in grade three when we watched that "just say no" cartoon."
It wasn't in mockery, only in a slight jest. But for a moment when Sakura seemed to only look back at him he worried he might have sounded offensive.
But then she gave him a small smile. "That's the kettle calling the pot black if you're saying you learned anything from that assembly," she said sarcastically. "And medical school gets a little more complex in the second year."
Sasuke let out a light huff of amusement.
After a short moment of silence, Sakura spoke again, "Your mom sent me out to tell you that the cake is ready."
"Of course she did," Sasuke sighed out.
"I guess you finally found the appeal of sweets."
"I didn't, she just wanted an excuse to bring me back in."
"Oh…"
"..."
A heavy and awkward silence fell between them. And for a person who usually liked silence. It was agony for Sasuke. He was both annoyed and grateful to his mother for sending Sakura out to fetch him. His mother had not been so subtle throughout the evening in trying to push Sasuke toward Sakura. She had made everyone rearrange their seating at dinner. Tried to lure his brother and cousins away when they had been in the living room with various tasks. Even tried to pair them up to take out the trash together to which Sasuke had insisted he could do it alone.
It was on his way back from the curb side that he decided to take a detour to the back yard. But in the moment he knew he could no longer delay the conversation.
"I should have reached out sooner…I meant to but…"
Sakura took a deep breath. "You were a bit detained."
"Hn. Incarcerated would be a better term," he said dryly.
"You could have called after you were released," she softly argued. "It's still the same number."
He was quiet for a long moment before, "I know," he admitted, "but that didn't feel right."
"What would have been better? Randomly showing up on my doorstep? An email? I hear people are trying to bring back messenger pigeons but it gets a bit messy."
Her words, while seemingly comical, had a hard tone to them causing Sasuke to cringe. He had considered many options, but despite that, he was strikingly limited. The monitor around his ankle that was covered by his pants reminded him everyday. He wondered if Sakura even knew. Not that it excused him but if he was honest, he was embarrassed by it.
However, despite that, he knew Sakura deserved truth over his pride.
Lifting his leg he pulled his pant leg up and flashed the black monitor. The little light that told him he was in the safety zone flashed green a couple of times before he let the fabric of his jeans fall over it again.
"I wouldn't get too far if I tried showing up to your door. Not if I didn't want an escort. And all my email and texts are monitored at the moment." He was quiet for a moment then added, "Also we don't get too many pigeons in the suburbs, they seem to prefer the city."
He watched as Sakura continued to stare at his leg for a long while before looking down at her hands in her lap.
"I saw the news…" Sakura said quietly, finally addressing the topic Sasuke wanted to avoid. "Did you…what exactly did you even do for—"
"Don't ask me that, Sakura," Sasuke softly interrupted, turning his head and finally fully meeting her eyes for the first time that night. "I know you don't owe me anything. But if you ask me, I'll tell you. I already have enough to make penance with you and my actions will surely condemn me forever…if I am not already. So please, don't ask me that."
For a long moment, Sasuke watched as Sakura seemed to struggle. He could see it in her face, the debate and temptation for her to ask. But eventually, she nodded although he could still see the craved curiosity behind her eyes.
"Okay," she said. "I won't ask about that. But I will ask why? I deserve that much."
Sasuke nodded. "Yes…you do."
With a deep breath Sasuke looked out across the night sky. Trying to find the words to communicate, despite the numerous weeks worth of long sleepless nights he had dedicated to practicing such an answer.
"I was running away. I didn't want to accept what was happening at home and with my family. Itachi was dying and I was going to be used to replace him."
"And when he got better?" Sakura prodded. "You could have come back years ago."
Sasuke frowned. This was the hard part. "I got…lost. Became someone who no longer cared. I erased myself from everyone's lives and from what I saw things were for better and I no longer had a place with them. Itachi was no longer sick. The business became more successful and the family seemed more balanced. And you…" Sasuke looked to her, and found Sakura leaning forward towards him.
"And me?"
Sasuke looked away from her, unable to keep looking into her eager face. "I figured you had moved on. You seemed happy and I was…lost. And I didn't want you to get dragged down by me. But then I saw you at that club. You, with everyone we grew up with. It was so familiar yet you seemed so different and changed. Stronger. And you asked me to come back and I realized something for the first time in a long time."
"What?" Sakura asked just barely over a whisper.
"I didn't want to run anymore. I wanted to come back home."
He felt Sakura's hand reach out and gently grasp his arm at his elbow. Turning his head, he let Sakura look him in the eyes and search his face.
For a long while he watched her irises, which in the dim light were a deep emerald flicker around as she searched him, her face pulled deep in thought as if making judgment.
Then suddenly, the studious expression faded and she gave him a warm smile.
"Then welcome home Sasuke."
Sasuke smoothed down the front of his shirt as he surveyed himself in the mirror. It was a dark blue. According to a youtube video he had watched, women liked a bright complementary color on a guy. Sasuke wasn't exactly sure what the teenager who had over a million followers meant by that, but his mother had always said he looked good in blue so here he was.
He had ordered the shirt online last week since as of yesterday he could not cross over the property line without alerting half the city's police force. And he was not about to allow Shisui another satisfaction by setting it off again.
Satisfied with what he saw in the mirror, Sasuke stepped over the pile of shirts all varying in shades of blue that he had found too bright and cheery. Yes, he wanted to dress to impress but he was not about to become someone he was not.
As closed the door and turned to make his way down the driveway, he ran into Shisui coming up from the street.
Sasuke moved to walk by him but was stopped when Shisui's arm flew up and halted Sasuke with a sturdy hand on his chest. Leaning in slightly, Shisui sniffed at him, his eyes brightening and a sly smile curling at his lips.
"Shinobi no. 5," he commented. "That's quite the cologne for sulking around the house. Where are you headed?"
"Coffee, with a friend."
Shisui raised a brow. "You don't have any friends. Anyone you've associated with in the past five years has been arrested, all thanks to you."
"They aren't a part of that."
Shirui gave him a deadpan face. "You've been on house arrest for the past three months, how many friends could you have-'' Something seemed to click in his mind as his face brightened. "You're going to have coffee with Sakura…aren't you."
Sasuke felt his face warm slightly.
"Oh you like her," Sasuke continued, grinning even more widely.
"This is not the third grade Shisui…we are catching up and having coffee."
"But you still like her."
Sasuke's jaw tightened in annoyance. Was it really all that surprising that he didn't? "And if I did?" Sasuke challenged.
Shisui let out a squeal and Sasuke rolled his eyes. Pushing past Shisui to continue down the driveway.
"Sasuke."
Sasuke stopped at the front gate and looked back to his cousin. Shisui was wearing that serious face again that he showed on New Years Eve and he took a few steps toward Sasuke. Despite how much Sasuke had grown, Shisui was still significantly taller.
"Hn?"
"That girl went through enough pain. Unless you have full commitment to make good on your intentions…" Shisui let out a sigh and shook his head. "Don't screw this up again little cousin. "
"I'm not planning to."
Shisui's serious face did not change. Only intensified.
"I'm sure you weren't before either. So I'm only going to say this once. If you have even the smallest of doubts that you won't make this work you might as well stop now. Because if you hurt her I will break your legs so when the others come for you they won't have to chase you. That is, if she doesn't break every bone in your body before."
Sasuke gave Shisui a shadowed look.
"If I do fuck this up, I'll be the one to give you the sledgehammer to break break my legs."
Shisui studied him for a long time, and Sasuke finally understood why Shisui was still employed as an officer. Anyone with something to admit would crack under such a stare. Finally Shisui's facade cracked and he reached out to ruffle Sasuke's hair then moved back towards the house.
"Have fun on your date Sauce-cakes!" he called out.
Sasuke gave Shisui's back a death glare as he tried to straighten out his mussed up hair all the while doing his best to ignore the childish tune Shisui had begun whistling that involved sitting in trees and spelling out gestures of affection.
And Sauce Cakes is back home! If you are familiar with the show Love Alarm, the sound track was a big inspiration for this chapter and the next.
Up Next:
The Reblooming Story: Sasuke and Sakura begin to slowly rebuild a relationship as Sasuke starts to fix himself with Sakura's help.