Hello my dears! It's been a while since I've posted - been a while since I've written anything, to be honest. I think I may have been enduring one of my depression lows, as no matter how much I wanted to be writing, I just could not find the motivation. But today the good Lord saw fit to relieve me of my burden for a while, and I have finally finished a new chapter for you! I'm even going to start the next chapter, as I am finally revved up for a big event to happen. No, not Colonel Fitzwilliam finding the evil house, though that might get to happen in chapter 16 (we shall see). No, in chapter 15, we will see the reunion of our girls with their fathers!
As always, my deepest and most heartfelt gratitude to all of you who favorite and/or follow this story, and especially those of you who take the time to leave me some words of encouragement. You are simply the best.
Chapter Fourteen
Dinner that evening was, to Elizabeth's relief, a quiet affair.
There was no mention of what she and Maria had endured for the last year, for which each girl was privately grateful. Although the conversation was not particularly animated, it was enjoyable. The subjects were everyday things such as what each had done when they were not together. Elizabeth, in particular, was more than happy to hear about Darcy's interactions with his tenants, as she had often discussed the tenants of Longbourn with her father.
The only matter which gave her or Maria any anxiety was when Georgiana asked if they would be attending church with her and her brother the next day. Maria was instantly alarmed and shaking her head, so Elizabeth replied,
"I do not think so, Georgiana. I do not think either of us is quite ready to move about in society, especially strangers."
"But would not being among those who do not know you be easier than enduring the scrutiny of neighbours who do know you?" Georgiana pressed.
"Sister," cautioned Darcy softly.
"B-Besides," Maria began hesitantly, "surely Mr. Darcy will be asked who we are, and I could not bear the stares when people hear I am only a 'Miss' and not a 'Missus.'"
Darcy cleared his throat, then captured Elizabeth's gaze with his own. "As Elizabeth can tell you, disguise of every sort is my abhorrence," he said with half a smile. "However, I have been giving that particular matter some thought. There are but a very few who know your true name, so introducing you about—should it become necessary—can be done with an alias, and no one would be the wiser."
"You mean we should lie about who I am?" Maria asked.
Elizabeth shook her head. "I do not think he means precisely that, dearest. Only that we might…tell a story as to why you are with child but without a husband. It will help to preserve your respectability, should you decide to keep your child and remain in this country to raise it."
Maria blinked. "Oh. Oh yes, there is that, I suppose. I… What did you have in mind, Mr. Darcy?"
Darcy drew a breath. "It would be fairly safe, I believe, if we said your husband was a soldier who had died in the war, or perhaps even a sailor who was lost at sea. As to your name, we might call you Mrs. … What about Mrs. Woods?"
"We did spend a week in the woods marching to safety," Elizabeth observed.
Maria appeared to consider the scheme for a moment, then she slowly nodded her head. "I kind of like the idea of having married a sailor. And 'Mrs. Woods' sounds well enough, I suppose. If this story has any chance at all of ensuring some respectability, I should be glad to tell it. 'Tis better than suffering the shame of conceiving out of wedlock."
Darcy inclined his head. "I shall have a word with Mr. and Mrs. Reynolds about your name change, and the housekeeper will speak to the maids who have heard your name—should only be Clara and Phoebe. Now, if you should like to hear a sermon, but do not feel up to the crowd at church, I can send a note to the vicar at Lambton, and I am sure his curate would be willing to come and do a small service in the Pemberley chapel."
Elizabeth raised her eyebrow as she regarded him. "Pemberley has its own chapel?"
Both Darcys nodded. "It is a very handsome little room, if such can be said of a chapel," said Georgiana.
"My mother spent a good deal of time there," said Darcy. "She used to say she felt closer to God in that room, and whenever she was preoccupied with some troubling matter, she would go into the chapel to pray and find peace."
Elizabeth watched Georgiana tear up as he spoke and thought it must make her so happy to hear little stories of the mother she had never known.
There was but one more issue which Elizabeth felt she must address, and she looked to Darcy as she said, "I am curious, sir, as to what explanation you will give whenever we do begin to move about in society, as to the reason for myself and my widowed young friend being under your protection. Mrs. Reynolds said the staff know we are 'in need' but nothing more."
Her host nodded his head slowly. "And that is all anyone need know—that you are my friends, and you are in need," he replied.
Elizabeth shared a look with Maria, then inclined her own head. "I agree that ought to suffice, though I am certain people will still speculate."
"Let them," Darcy said. "However, given my family's well-earned reputation for generosity to those in need, I believe I may safely assure you no malicious gossip will be spread about. The local villagers will be curious about you, yes, but you need only tell them what you are comfortable sharing."
After dinner, the four went into the music room, where Elizabeth and Maria were once again delighted by the performances of both brother and sister. It still fascinated Elizabeth that Darcy played an instrument at all, but that he could play it with such feeling was incredibly moving. She again felt stirrings in her heart, what she could only describe as the attempted rebirth of feelings he'd thought long suppressed. Feelings she knew could have no hope of being allowed to grow stronger, she reminded herself, even as they tried to reach the surface of her thoughts.
"Elizabeth, do you think you could play for us?"
Blinking as though startled from a dream, Elizabeth looked to Georgiana and asked her to repeat the question. When she had, heat immediately suffused the elder woman's cheeks.
"Oh no. No, I could not possibly," Elizabeth protested. "I have not played since Kent, and even then, my skills were lacking."
"No time like the present to bestir your memory," Darcy chided softly.
Elizabeth's eyebrow rose. "Mr. Darcy, I am sure you recall how poorly I played the 'finest instrument in the country' at your aunt's insistence."
Darcy smiled. "I recall being captivated by your performances," he replied.
Elizabeth scoffed. "Then you had too much of Lady Catherine's good wine," she declared. "Really, sir, I have not played in more than a year. You can hardly be wishing me to follow such performances as you and your sister have just given."
"I'll sing with you, Lizzy, if it will help you feel better," spoke up Maria. "That is, if Mr. Darcy would not be averse to hearing my voice again; I know I am not the best singer."
Darcy offered her a smile. "I should be delighted," said he, "as I do recall hearing your voice at one of your father's parties. I was not of a mind to be sociable then, I regret to say, but I recall thinking you had a very pretty voice."
Maria blushed immediately, and knowing she could no longer excuse not taking part in the evening's activity, Elizabeth reluctantly rose and went to the instrument as Georgiana vacated the bench. Maria sat beside her and for a moment they looked through the sheets of music, until a simple folk song Elizabeth knew well enough was found. She then flexed her fingers and began randomly touching the keys to remind her hands what they were supposed to do.
"Are you ready, Lizzy?" Maria whispered.
Elizabeth drew a breath and blew it out. "As I shall ever be," she muttered, then began to play the first notes.
She stumbled a little at first—mostly due to the two fingers that were now crooked not reaching the keys properly—but to her surprise, she quickly found the repetitive motions almost calming. It was once again such a simple thing, to be able to play music again even if she wasn't very good at it. Emotion began to make her chest tight and her breathing labored, but she forced it back and kept playing—it would not do at all to begin crying over something so trivial.
Maria, too, stuttered a bit when she first began to sing, but she caught onto the rhythm as quickly as Elizabeth had, and soon was singing as prettily as ever she had done. From the corner of her eye, Elizabeth could see that her friend was also struggling to keep her emotions in check, so it was no surprise that once the song had ended, she found herself wrapped in a tight embrace.
"Oh, Lizzy… to sing for pleasure again," Maria muttered into her shoulder.
It was a moment before Elizabeth could reply, or even acknowledge the praises of their hosts.
"I think you a much better player than you realize, Elizabeth," Georgiana was saying.
Elizabeth looked at her with a small smile. "I thank you for your kind words, though I cannot agree with you. My hands are rather stiff from lack of practice."
"Well, that's easily remedied! You must come down in the mornings and practice with me!" Georgiana insisted.
"I will consider it," Elizabeth conceded.
Darcy then suggested they remove to the drawing room for tea. Elizabeth gave a smile of thanks, for she was not of a mind to be pressed to play again. When tea, along with biscuits and cake, was served, Georgiana asked, "What shall we do next? Perhaps a game of whist?"
"Let's play, Lizzy!" said Maria. "We're supposed to be returning to normal, are we not? Is not a game of cards in the evening something very normal to do?"
Elizabeth sighed. "Though you know I am not much of a card player, I give way to your logic. Let us play a hand or two of whist."
She tried not to be too delighted when Darcy suggested they be partners for the game, telling herself that he was only showing her kindness. Still, she could not help the little thrill of pleasure that coursed through her each time the gentleman smiled at her or praised a play.
"You may not be much of a card player, my dear Elizabeth, but you certainly are a shrewd one," he said with a wide grin when they won the first round.
For the second round they switched partners, and Elizabeth played with Georgiana. Her young friend was delighted when they won the round and asked her why she thought herself not much of a card player when she was so very good at the game.
Elizabeth shrugged. "It is not that I cannot play, as I am good at any number of card games," she replied. "Cards is simply not among my favorite activities."
"What are your favorite activities?" Georgiana asked.
"Reading a good book and taking a long walk in the country used to be my two favorite things to do in all the world," said Elizabeth with a sidelong glance at Darcy. "I do not know when I shall be comfortable enough to take a long walk, but the turns about the reflecting pool were somewhat relaxing, and I have felt the greatest pleasure in being able to read a book again."
"I've found that I don't dislike embroidery as much as I used to," offered Maria. "I recall that I used to think it tedious and boring, but when even the tedious and boring are unavailable to you for a very long time, they become such pleasures. I've already got about half a pattern finished!"
"That's wonderful! I wondered how far you'd got on that apple tree pattern you were working on," said Georgiana.
Maria smiled. "Oh, and you should see Lizzy's sketching," said she. "For one who was not inclined to draw before, she's shown some remarkable skill."
Elizabeth laughed. "Come now, Maria, you give me too much credit for talent I hardly possess. I have, however, found more pleasure in attempting to draw than I ever did before."
"You are too modest, I am sure!" cried Maria. "Mr. Darcy, she has been drawing the ivy outside our sitting room windows and has even started drawing a teapot with ivy around it."
Darcy looked at Elizabeth with a curious smile. "I should be delighted to see the results of your efforts, if ever you are willing to show them to me."
Feeling her neck and cheeks aflame with heat and color, Elizabeth replied softly, "Perhaps when I have finished."
Supper that night was a simple cheese and broccoli soup with warm bread rolls, and afterwards all decided to retire. Elizabeth and Maria allowed the Darcys to escort them to their suite before the two pairs parted; Elizabeth ignored the knowing look Maria gave her when Darcy's gaze lingered on her longer than was proper.
"Do you need me to share the bed with you again tonight?" she asked after helping Maria into her nightshift.
"I… Perhaps not, so long as the door to my room and yours stays open," Maria replied.
Elizabeth offered a reassuring smile. "Of course, dearest. I do not mind that at all."
-…-
Sunday morning passed quietly at Pemberley. The curate from Lambton came as requested, and gave a short sermon to the Darcys, Elizabeth and Maria, and even some of the staff; that his lesson was one of giving aid to those in need Darcy swore afterward was entirely coincidental.
After breakfast, all four of the house's residents took a walk together. Georgiana's taking Maria by the arm as soon as they stepped outside gave Elizabeth no other option but to walk next to Darcy again. When they reached the gravel path around the reflecting pool, he offered her his arm, and she hesitated only a moment before wrapping her hand around his forearm. They had completed nearly half a circuit before either spoke.
"Your father might be here as early as tomorrow evening, should the party travel today," said Darcy. When her hand tightened on his arm, he added, "Does that make you nervous?"
"A little," Elizabeth confessed. "I have not seen my father in more than a year's time, and I have missed him more deeply than I can express. At the same time, my experience has made me anxious as to how I will react to him. He will want to embrace me, I do not doubt, and I do not know if I will be able to accept even his arms around me."
Her hand was tight on Darcy's arm, and he very softly patted the top of it with his free hand; after a moment, she relaxed her grip.
"Even when first I knew you," Darcy began slowly, "I judged your father to be an intelligent—though far too indolent—sort of man. If he remains as clever as I thought him then, he will understand if you hesitate to be embraced."
Elizabeth looked up at her companion then. "Do you mean to say you have not got to know him better as you searched for us?"
Darcy drew a breath, and she sensed that he was hesitant to speak ill of her father. "Be honest with me, Darcy," she said.
He sighed. "I have got to know your family a little better, yes, but I have not grown as close to Mr. Bennet as I have to Mr. Gardiner. While the former has made some changes in how he manages his family—changes for the better—I find that, on an intellectual level, Edward is more an equal to me than he is."
Elizabeth found she could not suppress the chuckle that rose within her. "You mean to say that you surprisingly found yourself to have more in common with my tradesman uncle than my landed gentleman father, therefore you had more to talk about."
Darcy echoed her soft laugh with one of his own. "Something to that effect, yes."
A flittering bit of memory passed across Elizabeth's consciousness then, and she heard herself say, "Perhaps my family's condition is not so decidedly beneath your own after all, sir."
She could feel his eyes on her, and though she felt some anxiety after realizing what she had said, Elizabeth—desperately wishing to regain the confidence that had been stolen from her—forced herself to look up at him with as much of a smirk as she could muster. She was surprised to find that his expression was similar to that which she had hoped to convey.
"Indeed, it is not," he said, then patted her hand again and changed the subject.
-…-
Monday came, and Darcy noted at breakfast that the girls' anxiety was heightened by how little they ate. How they fidgeted and looked at the clock. He tried not to be disappointed that they would not likely take a walk together that afternoon.
Elizabeth was too filled with nerves to practice the pianoforte with Georgiana, but she and Maria did sit in on his sister's hour-long practice, the latter told him after he emerged from a meeting with the steward. They had afterward gone back to their rooms, and he judged it best they be left in peace for the day. Darcy then met with Mr. and Mrs. Reynolds, who assured him that the other guest rooms were open and aired and would be ready to receive their occupants when they arrived.
Dr. Jones called in the afternoon. Elizabeth and Maria came down to speak with him, and he seemed vastly pleased with their progress in so short an amount of time. The physician made several positive remarks about the girls' improvement in color and said he was certain they'd both already gained a little weight. Elizabeth's jaw was healing as it should, for she spoke of feeling very little pain now it was set properly and she'd been able to use it. Maria's child moved for the doctor, and he said she ought soon to be introduced to one of the local midwives.
"You'll not be the one to deliver my baby?" Maria asked him.
Dr. Jones shook his head. "No, Mrs. Woods," he replied, having been informed of her new identity. "It is rare a man learns the art of birthing, and under normal circumstances, a midwife would have been attending you from the moment you learned you were with child."
Elizabeth and Maria then returned to their rooms, and after a brief conversation with Darcy about returning for their reintroduction to their families, Jones departed Pemberley.
Luncheon was a shared meal, but a maid was sent by Elizabeth at dinner to declare she and Maria were not feeling up to being in company. Darcy and Georgiana were disappointed but could hardly blame them. Indeed, even they found the hours difficult to pass with equanimity. Georgiana alternated between the music room and the library, Darcy his study and the library. Often, they would glance at each other with knowing gazes, sigh, and go back to what they had been doing. More than once, Darcy found himself re-reading the same paragraph of the book he'd chosen.
At 10:37 that evening, the sound of carriage wheels and horses' hooves reached Darcy's ears. Two carriages, he mused as the noise drew nearer. Standing, he went out into the hall and made his way to the north entrance, where visitors were always received. By the time of his stepping out into the night, the two carriages were drawing to a stop.