Yes, folks, she was pregnant. :D

Alvin's Point Of View

I stood there in shock as more and more guilt came pouring in inside me, eating my heart out. Another batch of tears - they seem to be endless - came out of my eyes and further dampened my fur as I took on what Beatrice said.

She was pregnant. And nobody knew.

She lost the babies.

Oh, my God, I killed... oh, God, how much damage could I possibly do? First, I broke Brittany's heart and trust, and now I killed our children before they were even born. Oh, my God, what's wrong with me? What have I done? Nobody's ever going to forgive me for this.

The babies. Brittany lost them. I killed them. It's all my fault.

I looked up, my eyes full with tears. Beatrice's smile disappeared as if it was never there. "Sh- She was pregnant? I-... I never knew... How, when?"

"Not all the blood came from her wrist. I found some between her thighs too, and I got curious. I checked it in the microscope, and it was definitely fetal blood. Not older than a week." She explained to me.

Oh, my God... I killed our children,... I killed them. What have I ever done to deserve this? What's happening to me? Why am I such a monster? Oh, God, I'm the worst father in the whole world. I'm the worst mate... Brittany doesn't deserve me. I lost my temper because I needed someone to blame. And I took it out on her. Did guilt blind my heart so I couldn't remember why I love her?

I sighed hard and loud as I placed my paw over my head, suddenly feeling exhausted. I sat back down on the chair and leaned. I buried my face in my paws. No words can express how sorry I am, how guilty I feel. I don't even know how to express it. I don't know how to react. There's too much guilt that I don't even know how and what to feel. Thanks to me, we lost our children.

And am I going to take it out on her too? No, I'm not. I'm taking it out - all of it - on myself. It's started with me, and it's going to end with me. I'm going to take this to my grave, and hopefully, Brittany would forgive me. I'd do anything to regain her trust, her love. I can't live without them. I can't live without the knowledge of her being beside me every night in bed. I can't live without having to kiss her every second. I can't live without her. I know, because of everything I've done, I don't deserve her. But at least, let her love me. Let her trust me. That's all I ask.

Taking my paws away from my eyes, my children stood in front of me. I looked at all of them in the eyes. Their blue and hazel brown, auburn and brown furs, they're the symbol of how Brittany and I love each other. But reflecting on my actions, the incident, AJ's abduction, do I really deserve them? Does an unloving mate deserve even one child? Does an unloving mate even deserve a mate? No, I don't deserve them. But I have them, and they love me.

Brittany loved me. But what did I do? I denied her feelings against me and called her selfish right in her face. I saw the hurt in her eyes. If Brittany won't forgive me, then I'll stop existing. The kids can say goodbye to their father and live with their mother. Isn't that the natural way? A male mates with a female, gets her pregnant, he leaves her with the children. But that's not how Brittany and I live. Unlike natural chipmunks, we stay together in monogamy. We're committed to each other and our children.

But AM I committed to her? Of course I am. But this morning, I forgot all about our mateship and screamed at her, blamed her for what I've done. That's what makes me a bad mate.

"Daddy, is mommy going to be alright?" Ally asked me, and I even I don't know the answer. Brittany is going to be alright physically, but... but when she finds out about what I did...

Without saying a word, I gave Ally a nod. My throat felt hoarse and I didn't feel like talking. Instead, I took all of them in my arms, thankful for the children Brittany gave me. They're my pride, even though I killed their unborn siblings. But I'm not going to say that until the right time. I don't want to take any more blames. Brittany already hates me, and the last thing I want is for the kids to hate me too. I love them all so much.

"Everything's going to be okay, kids. Everything going to be okay. I promise." My voice felt like it hasn't been used in years. With every word, my throat itched. I squeezed them in my arms one last time, feeling the pleasure their warmth brought me. I released them and pecked on their foreheads one by one. I felt sick as I thought I'm probably never going to be able to do that to Brittany. I'm probably never going to be able to talk to her ever again, and I don't blame her.

I gave them smiles before looking up at Beatrice. "May we please see her?" I asked politely.

"Yes. But keep her right paw as immobile as possible."

"Is she awake?"

"Half. She's awake, but her brain tells her she's asleep. She can hear you but she won't respond. But don't worry, it's only for a couple of hours. Or if you're lucky, maybe even a few minutes from now."

I sighed in relief, knowing her safety. I gave Beatrice a thankful smile as I acknowledged her. "Thank you, Beatrice. For everything."

"No problem. I'm taking the month off anyways."

"Will you be here tomorrow?"

"Of course. Someone needs to watch out for both of you."

Despite everything, I chuckled, then watched as Beatrice's smile disappeared again.

"Alvin, I'm sorry about the babies. Even if I saw it coming, there's nothing I'd be able to do. Technology is simply very limited."

I sniffed again, feeling the tears coming back. "She's never going to forgive me for that."

"What happened? You never told me."

I looked away. "I don't want to talk about it. Please understand."

"I understand. But, Alvin, there's nothing to worry about. Knowing Brittany, she'll think twice before hating you."

"Gee, thanks."

Beatrice stepped aside, giving us a clear entry to the door. The smell of alcohol became stronger than the last time, and it seemed like the air conditioner intensified. The temperature was freezing, even for me. How's a patient going to take something like this. Especially Brittany who used to be so warm in my arms, and now, she's lying naked on a hospital bed.

Across the veterinarian bed, there was a small bed with a thin, white mattress which is probably used for unstable, short-tempered animals. But it also makes a handy hospital bed. And on it, Brittany lied down on her back, arms straight at her sides. Her hair was a mess, and the tears still dampened her fur. The smell of blood has been replaced by alcohol.

"Let's go, kids." I told my children. We all stepped in and were greeted by the death-cold air and the soothing smell of alcohol. We didn't hesitate to make our way towards Brittany. We passed the veterinarian bed, and hopped up onto Brittany's side. And there, her fragile state lied.

I felt the tears in my eyes again as I saw her expression. Her eyes were partly open and partly closed, half asleep, half awake. Her face gave no expression. I told myself, this is wrong. Brittany isn't like this. Brittany shouldn't be lying down or sleeping like this. Her lips should form at least a small smile, her arm should be on her stomach or chest while the other on her head. Her eyes should be fully closed, not like this.

I saw the kids rushing up to her side and looked at me with their most innocent expressions. "Daddy, mommy is awake, but why isn't she talking? Is she alright?" Ally asked.

I gave them a smile. "She's asleep, Ally. Her eyes are just open. She's going to be alright." For now, a voice in my head told me. But I ignored it. "I promise, she's going to be alright."

My words were, I hope, enough to feed my children's curiosity. They lied down at her right, curled into a protective ball around their mother. I smiled, thinking that love and natural instincts told them it was right to do so - protecting their mother. But me, I'm the one who endangered her. Am I still worthy enough to protect her? Am I still worthy enough to even talk to her children? Our children?

The questions will be answered in the future. Right now, what I need to do is attend to my mate, the mate I don't think I deserve. I lied down on her left side and curled into a ball around her as if I was shielding her from incoming attacks by an invisible force. I moved closer to her and nuzzled my cheek against her shoulder, feeling her soft fur brushing mine. I dug my nose into her fur and sniffed hard. Under all the alcohol, her natural scent still remained - both arousing and soothing.

I moved my face closer to her ear and felt my next breaths coming to words. "I'm sorry." I whispered.

Although I didn't get a response, I couldn't sworn I felt her ear flick. That made me back away and look at her for a while, but when nothing else came, I decided it was just my imagination. I sighed again, hoping Brittany would get her consciousness back. Lying down beside her, my paw slowly slithered on top of hers.

Then suddenly, my palm felt a slight movement in her paw, a sudden flinch. I thought it was nothing, but when I waited again, there it was. I felt her paw flinch, her fingers throbbing. And then, my ear flinched as I finally heard a soft voice, slightly hoarse.

"A- Alvin..."