Chapter Ten
Catherine listened for the click of the front door as Jackie left and as soon as she heard it, started to cry. Sitting down on the bed, Catherine started to think out loud, first off why am I crying, it's not like Jackie said she's leaving me again, she wants me to go with her and with that abruptly stopped crying. Catherine let out a huge sigh and proceeded to get dressed before going downstairs. Now sitting in the bay window of the study drinking coffee with Ethan by her feet, she felt lost. All the what if's started circling around her head 'What if it doesn't work out, would she be forced to relive the last 10 months all over again 'What if she doesn't like LA, What's going to happen to Jackie's career if they're seen together especially with the fact she's so much older than Jackie. Catherine took another sip of her coffee; she knew that even though it didn't have to be a permanent move to LA straight away it would have to be eventually. All this thinking was driving Catherine insane so she decided, especially as Ethan was now fussing, that taking him for a walk might help. Finishing her coffee and grabbing her coat, her mobile started to ring she glanced down at the display and seeing it was Jackie, she left her phone were it was and headed out the front door.
Why wasn't Catherine answering her phone, Jackie was starting to panic. She knew that this conversation had to happen eventually but both her and Catherine had been avoiding it ever since her arrival in Bloomington but she was so not prepared for Catherine's reaction this morning, in fact she left Catherine's in a state of utter shock, she never expected her to throw her out. Well throwing her out was a slight over exaggeration she just asked for a little space and had the shoe been on the other foot she probably would have done the same, however it didn't make Jackie feel any less hurt by it. It had been nearly 5 hours since Jackie had left Catherine's and she still hadn't called. As Jackie wandered aimlessly around her hotel room which was probably the most amount of time she'd spent here, with the exception of the first 2 days she had spent psyching herself up to knock on Catherine's front door. Jackie settled down in front of the TV stretching out on the huge brown sofa. This was her third attempt of trying to watch TV as a form of distraction from her own thoughts and nervousness awaiting Catherine's answer, just then her phone rang and Jackie leapt off the sofa and rushed over to it only to be disappointed when she saw it was Jason. "Hi Jason" Jackie tried to hide the disappointment in her voice "Hi Jaq's" Jason replied "Wade said you wanted me to call" "Erm, oh yeah I did" Jackie had completely forgotten about her request. "So what was it you wanted" Jason asked although Jackie sensed he already knew, after all he was her best friend and therefore knew all about her and Catherine. "Well" Jackie began "I was kinda hoping you could sort out an extra seat on the plane and give my loft a bit of a clean before I got back but I'm not sure it's worth doing now" Jackie said defeated. "What do you mean are thing with you and Catherine not going well?" Jason asked Jackie could hear the concern in his voice. "You could say that" Jackie replied "Come on tell me all about it" Jason said, so Jackie did.
It was dark by the time Catherine got back to the house but at least she had figured out what she was going to do now, which is a lot more than she did earlier. She knew she should ring Jackie sooner rather than later but she didn't want to do that just yet. Now her mind was made up and knowing that Jackie was probably waiting by the phone made Catherine feel powerful. There was no doubt that she loved Jackie but she also loved the feeling of being powerful and Jackie gave that to her better than anyone else she'd known, so instead went into the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee. After about two hours of doing meaningless tasks around the house and now starting to feel guilty about leaving Jackie hanging, Catherine finally decided to call her, which Jackie answered before the second ring had even finished which confirmed Catherine's suspicion that Jackie was staring at her phone and probably had been all day long which made Catherine feel powerful all over again and Catherine being Catherine decided to make Jackie sweat it out a little bit longer "Catherine" Jackie said her voice full of eagerness "I was starting to get worried, I'm guessing dinner's off" This is just too tempting Catherine thought to herself "Yeah I'm sorry about that" Catherine replied "Do you want to come round in the morning and we can talk about LA then" "Oh ok" Jackie replied wounded by Catherine's not bothered attitude and obviously not wanting Jackie back in her bed tonight "Ok, I'll see you then, goodnight" was all Catherine said before hanging up. Jackie felt broken she couldn't tell if Catherine was playing games or setting Jackie up for answer she didn't want to hear either way, the short and sharp conversation had left her upset but despite Catherine's cruelty she loved her and would do anything for her. As Jackie lay down in her hotel bed she thought about her life back in LA and the truth of the matter was that she'd give it all up, her life in LA, her career everything, if it meant they had a chance of being together forever. So Jackie went to sleep with a slight smile, she could make this happen, no she would make this happen. On the other side of town Catherine was getting ready for bed, thinking about what she was going to say to Jackie tomorrow, she already knew the answer to Jackie's question but that was the problem most psychology professors have is that they tend to over analysis everything. As Catherine climbed into bed she looked over at the indentation in the pillow where Jackie had lain the night before and started to feel guilty about the way she had played Jackie earlier. She reached over for the pillow and hugged it tightly, the smell of Jackie's perfume still lingered, and she breathed it in deeply. 'God, I wish she was here now, so I can hold her and tell her how much I'm in love with her was the last thing that went through Catherine's head as she drifted off to sleep still hugging Jackie's pillow.