Chapter 4

(Madge POV)

I can't believe how good that just was. We just about had a normal interaction. Sure it wasn't a very lengthy conversation but it still counts. He had startled me a little bit when I first woke from my nap to find his face, only inches from my own, eyes staring right at me. At first, I'd jumped, pulled back in reaction, but then I remembered something and tried to smooth out my response. I remembered when I'd been the one watching him sleep and he'd woken up, then lashed out at me. I remember how awful it felt to have him snap at me and look at me like I was insane. It was bad enough that I'd even cried. And that happened before we were even friends. I imagine it would feel even worse to have your spouse react that way and I already make him feel bad enough so I did my best to soften my response. I'd called after him as he hurried to leave the room, visibly upset. He'd turned in surprise and eventually come back and sat on the bed, talking with me for a little while before we both realized he was supposed to have been somewhere for his new job.

Now I sit alone in this little place, with about two hours until diner, assignment in hand. I open the envelope and pull out the paper so I can see what it is exactly that I'm supposed to be doing.

Look at the enclosed picture and write down anything you think of when you see it. After you've done that, see what anyone else can tell you about the dress and then write down your response to that as well. Bring the completed assignment to your next Medical Center appointment for discussion.

I pull out the picture and see that it's of a dress. A fancy one. White, strapless with ruffles all the way to the floor. I take the small pencil that came in the envelope and quickly jot down a few words.

Fancy. Capitol Designed. Lovely. Delicate. Expensive.

But that's all that I can think of. And these are just descriptive words for what I see in the picture. No memory is sparked if that's what the goal is. I shove the paper away from me and get to my feet. I'm not sure what it is I really expected to happen with my first assignment but I'm not liking this one so far. It seems stupid. A picture of a dress? Great. What is it supposed to mean to me though? Is it my dress? Is that why they're showing it to me? Was it supposed to bring on a flood of memories? Because it's not. All it's doing actually is making me feel frustrated. I fold it in half and put it in my pocket. I think maybe I need to stretch my legs a bit, go for a walk. I slip my shoes back on and head out the door.

My plan is to just sort of wander around and check this place out. Unlike everyone else, I didn't get the tour this morning and I'm curious as to what this place is like. The hallways are pretty much empty, probably everyone is still working. I know the floor I'm on is only residential so I take the elevator to another level. I push a button on the keypad at random.

"Let's see where this takes me." I say aloud to myself as the elevator begins to move. It stops only moments later on a floor and I poke my head out hesitantly. I see just another empty hall but I can tell it isn't residential because the doors aren't so close together like on my floor. I step out and decide to go left. I don't have anywhere specific I need to be right now so it doesn't really matter where this takes me.

I wander the winding hallway for awhile but don't see anything. Just a few random doors that only open with keypad codes. I reach the end of the hallway and finally find a door without a keypad. I open it, revealing a stairwell.

"Why not?" I mumble to myself and head down the stairs. Once I reach a landing with another door, I go through it and find myself on another residential floor. I decide to wander through it to see how it compares to my own floor. From what I can tell, It's pretty much all the same. Gray doors, plain white walls, no windows or natural light. As I walk, I search for the elevator, deciding this floor isn't much to look at either. I round a corner and bump into someone.

"I'm so sorry!" I spout out as I steady myself. And then I see who it is. It's Rory. Gale's brother.

"Madge? What are you doing on this floor?"

"Oh, hi. Um, I was sort of just taking a walk. Kind of wandering around, not really going anywhere specific. Is this your floor?"

"Yeah. I just got finished with school. I was heading home."

"Oh, they have school here?"

"Yeah. It's different though. They teach different stuff. Like stuff we can use here in 13."

"I see. Where's Posy?" I ask, doing my best to make conversation.

"She and Vick are in a different school section because they're younger. I think they get out at a different time. Probably already at home"

"Well, I guess I'll see you around." I say awkwardly, not really knowing what else to talk to him about. I know he's technically family and all but to me he's just another stranger whose name I happen to know.

"I'm heading home if you want to come with me. Maybe visit with everybody?" He offers up then adds "If you wanna."

"I don't know. I think I'll keep walking a bit. See you later, okay?" I say as I continue walking and look back over my shoulder. He sort of waves at me and looks at me funny. God, he looks like Gale. A slightly younger version of Gale. I wonder if I was close to him? Gale told me I helped him get back across the fence so maybe we were friends? Maybe that's possible? And Gale has a big family. I think I would have liked that. Was I close to them at all? Did we do things together? Ugh! There is so much I don't know.

I locate the elevator and make my way to the Cafeteria. I know it isn't time for dinner just yet but maybe if I'm early I can meet up with Gale when he's finished speaking to his supervisor. Maybe we can eat early and then I can get out of here before too many people come in and I get overwhelmed. The cafeteria is empty but I hear people towards the back, in the kitchen. Workers probably. That must be where Gale is. I head towards the kitchen so I can let him know I'll be waiting out here for him but as I near the door, out comes Tripp Krull. I guess he works here too, which makes sense.

"Hey there!" He greets, his whole face lighting up at seeing me.

"Hi. Are you working?"

"No, just finished up. Off until breakfast tomorrow. Are you looking for Gale?"

"Yes, I was. Have you seen him?"

"Yeah, he was late so the supervisor is still in there with him going over everything. You could probably wait for him."

"Thanks." I say as I smile and take a seat at one of the empty tables. Surprisingly, he pulls out a chair and takes a seat next to me.

"Mind if I keep you company while you wait?"

"Sure, thanks." I tell him. Tripp doesn't make me quite as nervous as The Hawthorne family does because I remember knowing him from growing up. My father and I ate at his family's café all the time.

"So, how's it going so far?"

I sigh and give him a tired smile. "It's going."

"That good, huh?" He laughs. "How's your head?"

"Damaged. Still no memory and lots of headaches."

"Listen, I feel like I owe you an apology. It was kind of my fault that you had to be knocked unconscious." He tells me. His voice serious and soft.

"What? How so?"

"I knew that there was a plan to get us out. I was the other 12 tribute, don't know if you knew that. Anyway, the day before we entered the arena, Haymitch told me some things, not a lot, but enough that I knew we were getting help. Once we were in there you kept telling me we needed to separate from our alliance and I kept putting it off. I knew you were getting paranoid but I had explicit instructions not to tell you anything, no matter what. So I didn't. And then you and I had to split up moments before the rescue was supposed to happen and I should have stayed with you. I should have stayed because I knew how much you didn't trust Johanna. So, for what it's worth, I am sorry you got hurt."

I stare at him, taking in his face, which shows genuine sorrow. He was the other tribute? We were in this together?

"I appreciate the apology though it doesn't sound like you owed me one. Besides, as far as I can remember, it's like it never happened." I joke with him.

He smiles and looks a little relieved. "So we can still be friends then?" He asks, seemingly teasing.

"On one condition." I tease back.

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"Can we pretend that I haven't lost my memory and only talk about things I actually do remember or about new things? I have so much I don't understand going on right now and it would be nice to have one person that I can talk to where I don't feel like I'm making them tiptoe around me." I explain. And I mean it. With all this about Gale and being married and being part of his family now, I feel so uncomfortable all the time. With Tripp, we were never super close friends so it will be nice if he'll just ignore my memory loss and just become a regular friend.

"Um, I don't know. I, uh, I mean, I can be your friend for sure, that's not a problem. I just think there's a lot you probably don't remember and I should tell…"

"No. I'm serious." I interrupt him. "I know it's a strange request and all but I just have so many people pleading and praying for my memory to return that I just can't take it. It makes me feel like I'm constantly letting them all down every time I don't remember something. I need someone who won't be like that."

He looks uncomfortable and that of course makes me feel the same way. I shouldn't have asked this of him. He obviously doesn't want to do it and since we weren't great friends before, more like acquaintances, it was silly of me to ask such a thing of him. I probably sound like a crazy person. This was stupid.

"Just forget I asked. It was stupid." I say, feeling totally embarrassed. I get to my feet and head for the door as quickly as I can.

"Hey, wait!" He calls after me. I don't wait, don't look back. Instead I just keep walking as fast as my legs will carry me.

When I get back to my unit, I go inside and practically throw myself on the bed. Hot tears pour from my eyes. I hate this so much. All of it. I just want to go home, to my house where my family lives and where I know everything there is to know about my own life. This has to just be one huge bad dream. It's the only thing that makes sense. A nightmare. That's all this is.

(Gale POV)

When I finish making nice with the supervisor who already doesn't care for me, she gives me my schedule and goes over what I'll be doing. Mostly washing dishes and collecting trays and trash. Mopping floors. Nothing fancy, nothing hard. I'll report to work just after lunch and stay until after dinner is finished. I'll do this everyday starting tomorrow. Today, I'm finished with everything I have to do.

It's still before dinner so I figure I have time to get back to the unit and meet up with Madge and we can head to dinner together. I'm still soaring from what transpired earlier. It was so good, so reliving to have had normal conversation with her. Neither of us weirded out by the other. It may be a really small step but it's a big step in my book. It lets me know I have a hope. A real, honest to goodness hope of winning her back again.

Back at our unit, I enter to find a sobbing Madge, face down on the bed.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" I ask in alarm. What could have happened? I rush over to her and sit down next to her on the bed, careful not to touch her.

She sits up and looks at me, face red and puffy from crying, tears still pouring down her cheeks. "No! I am not okay! I'm going crazy not knowing who the hell I am anymore. I can't take it!"

"Hey, it'll be alright. It'll all work out." I say softly, trying my best to comfort her without hugging her. And all I want to do right now is pull her to me, wrap my arms around and hug her until this pain goes away for her. The most I let myself do is splay my hand out on the bed, just in front of her. Putting it there in case she wants it but making it non-threatening in case she doesn't.

Her fingers inch towards mine but then pull back as she balls her hands up. She looks up at me. Blue eyes looking so lost, so sad that it makes me hurt. "I need answers. And not just answers, I need the whole story. The things that will be hard for me to hear, the good and the bad. All of it."

I nod and swallow. I hadn't expected to have to tell her everything so soon. Figured we'd cover a little at a time. "I'll tell you whatever you want to know."

"Start with the reason we got married. That's where we left off before."

"There was a contract signed on your behalf, when you were an infant. It stated that your name would never go into the reaping bowl in exchange for you to marry Senneca Crane on your 18th birthday." I begin. Maybe it is best if I just pour it all out. Make it as quick as I can.

"Who signed it? Why didn't I know about it?"

"It was your mother's deal. She was terrified you'd be reaped and die like your aunt. She never told you about it. Neither did your father or Mabel. At the end of Katniss's games, Senneca Crane was executed for allowing two Victors. When that happened, you and I were already dating and very much in love. We both assumed that his death meant the contract was void and you were therefore free. And for a little while, we were free and happy, crazy in love."

"Keep going." She orders through tears when I pause to watch her response to what I've just told her.

I nod and continue. "Well, I ended up proposing, you said yes obviously, and we planned a lengthy engagement. At least until after you finished school and turned 18. We, we were really excited." I pause as a lump forms in my own throat as I remember that day in the church when I'd spontaneously asked her to mine, forever.

I fight off tears and continue on. "Then one day Snow summoned you. Practically kidnapped you is really more the way I should put it. Pulled you from school and put you right on a train to the Capitol. Didn't even let you pack a bag to take. Once you got there, he made it clear you were not free of your contract. He made you choose between being reaped, with 500 entries in the bowl, or marrying his personal advisor who was a creepy, scary old man."

"I chose the reaping right away, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you remember?"

"No. Just instinct. If I was in love, I wouldn't have thrown it away, even if taunted by the Capitol."

"Then you decided if you were going into the games anyway, you should be married before you go. You didn't want to miss out on the chance to be a wife. To be my wife. And so we got married. You planned the whole thing in just one week."

"A week?"

"Yep. And then we were married and you moved to the Seam. And you started training for the games, like a career tribute would. Katniss, Peeta, Rory and I helped you train whenever we could. And then Snow announced a Quell twist. Early start to the games. And then you were reaped and until you got here, that was the last time I saw you."

She sits quietly, legs folded, staring down at her hands. I watch as a tear slips from her chin, landing on her knee. I reach over, wipe it away.

"I know that's a lot to understand. I can answer whatever questions you have though. Whenever you're ready."

"Questions is about all I have anymore."

I want to tell her that isn't true. That she has me too. But I don't. "Let me answer them for you. Maybe it'll all be better for you if you know everything."

"Everything you just told me, it doesn't explain my father and Mabel being in prison."

"It sort of does. See, your father was against the marital contract your mother signed. He spent years trying to prove she signed it while mentally unstable. He'd hoped that would give reason to void it. And to help make her look as if she really were unstable, he did something awful. He and Mabel poisoned her slowly, regularly, with tracker jacker venom. That's part of why she was always so ill. She had to be put into a Capitol Facility. From there, the Capitol figured out somehow what your father and Mabel had been doing and they arrested them. You had to testify against them even though you only found out what they'd done after the fact."

"My father intentionally hurt my mother?"

"He said it was the only thing he could think of that might help break your contract."

"Even still…I could never…how do you do that when you love someone."

"Dunno. Guess he just loved you so much it seemed rational to him at the time. I don't think he was proud of himself for doing it, if that makes the blow of it any softer."

"It doesn't." She sobs, making futile attempts to wipe her weeping eyes. "It doesn't at all."

I can't handle seeing her fall to pieces like this. I just can't. I reach for her, doing what every part of my being screams for me to do, and I just pull her against my chest, wrapping my arms around her, gently rocking her as she cries against my chest. And she lets me. For once, she lets me.

A/N: First off, thank you all so very much for your reviews and for reading this story! Secondly, I want to wish all of you a very, Merry Christmas!