Chapter 11
(Madge POV)
After leaving the Medical Center I head to the cafeteria to meet Gale for lunch. On my way, I find myself still smiling, still glowing from how wonderful last night was. I think I really may be turning into one of those silly girls who only thinks of being in love all the time. And I never would have imagined myself like that. Of course, I wouldn't dare say I'm in love with Gale. Not love. Not yet, it's much too soon for me to feel that. But there's no question for me now that I definitely like him. A lot. And if last night is any indication of possibilities, I could easily now picture myself falling head over heels in love with him.
When I arrive at the cafeteria, Gale is waiting for me outside the doors. I smile and wave excitedly. He smiles back and starts towards me but something looks wrong. He looks nervous.
"Hey! Ready to eat?" I ask chipperly, hoping I'm mistaken as to how he looks uneasy.
"Not just yet. There's something we need to talk about. Can you come with me for a minute?"
"Sure." I choke out, his uneasiness now spilling over to me. What do we need to talk about? It doesn't look good, whatever it is.
He takes my hand and leads me down the hall to the empty stairwell and sits down on the steps, me falling into place next to him.
"Well? What's going on?" I ask when he doesn't seem to know how to start the conversation.
"I need to let you know about something I did the other day that wasn't good and you won't like it." He begins.
Great. He's about to ruin all this wonderfulness we just started. I wish he wouldn't. I've had enough angst and grief since I got here and right now all I want is for the happiness of last night to last a little longer. I'm not ready to part with it yet. "Gale, if it's something bad, I'd honestly rather not even know about it. I'm happy for the first time in awhile and I'd really like to keep it that way." I tell him, hoping he'll take the out I'm offering up and we can just go have lunch as planned. He doesn't though.
"I'm really glad you're happy. You have no idea how much I needed to hear you say that, how much I need to know that." He smiles and leans over, kissing my forehead so lightly that I barely feel his lips against my skin. "But I have to tell you this because it's something I shouldn't have done and if you hear about it from someone else, you'll never forgive me."
Forgive him? He needs forgiveness? What happened that could be so bad he needs me to forgive him? Did he cheat on me? Surely not. I hope not. Oh please don't let that be what he has to tell me. Please don't let that be it. I nod at him so he'll continue.
"A few days ago, I was in the stairwell and overheard a conversation between Tripp and Marah Krull. A conversation talking about him taking advantage of your memory loss and making a move to get you to fall in love with him instead of with me. Tripp has loved you for a very long time and it isn't new information to me. What is new about it, is that I had for awhile trusted him not to ever act on that love, not to ever try and take you away from me and to hear this private conversation where it's being discussed that this may be the chance he never got and how he should try and win your love, well, it infuriated me to no end. And then all day, I stewed over it, growing angrier by the minute. When I came home that night, he was coming out of our house and I just lost it. I completely lost it on him."
I cut him off before he can say anything else. "You? You're the guy who did that to his neck?" I gasp in horror as I put two and two together. I yank my hand away from his, not wanting him to touch me.
"Yeah. I…I'm so sorry. I just got so angry with what he said and then to see him leaving our house where he'd been alone with you, I couldn't take it." He apologizes and his face looks as if he may cry at any given second.
"You hit him? How could you? How could you do that? Have you seen his neck? It's all bruised! Tripp was coming out of our house because I had invited him to watch the games, because I wanted him there, not because he had some ulterior motive! I can't believe you!" I say, climbing to my feet.
He quickly stands and grabs at my hand, pleading for me to stay. "Madge, please wait. Don't leave!"
"Don't leave?" I spit back at him as I jerk my hand away from his and look at him in disgust. "You think I want to be around you right now?" I ask incredulously.
"Please, just let me explain…" He continues to beg before I cut him off.
"I don't know you at all. And I'm not sure I want too." I say, tears stinging inmy own eyes as I turn and walk away without looking back at him. How could he do this? How could he physically hurt someone like that? And for what? Because he thinks he heard a conversation? Because he thinks he saw something he didn't? This is all my fault. Tripp getting hurt never would have happened if I hadn't invited him over to watch that video. I just had no idea Gale was so jealous, so crazed. Tripp must have though. He must have known because he'd specifically asked if it would be alright with Gale for him to come over. And I'd brushed it off as if it was no big deal. Because why would it be? Why would he care if I had a friend over? And even if Tripp has feelings for me, does Gale not trust me? Does he think that I'd cheat on him? I may not remember that I'm married but I do know that I am and I'd never go against the sanctity of that. I just wouldn't.
I storm furiously into the cafeteria and spot Tripp and Marah over at a table alone. I march right over to them. I have to apologize. "Tripp, I need to talk to you." I blurt out, tears still stinging my eyes.
They both look up at me and can see that I'm upset. Marah gets up immediately and mumbles something about having to go somewhere. She ducks off and I sit down across from Tripp. His neck looks so bad and just seeing it wracks me with guilt.
"You didn't tell me that Gale is the person who hurt you. I'm so sorry!"
"I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to know. How'd you find out?" He says quietly, looking down at the table.
"Gale just told me. I had no idea he would act like that. I didn't know that would happen and it's all my fault you got hurt, I am so, so sorry Tripp!"
He looks up at me and sighs. "Would you stop apologizing? It isn't your fault. It's my own fault and it was just a big misunderstanding."
"It is my fault! If I hadn't invited you over to watch the video this never would have happened." I insist as I lean forward across the table towards him.
"You don't know that Madge, you really don't know. Look, do you want to get out of here? There stuff you should know that I was hoping never to have to tell you but I guess now I'm gonna have to. It's the only way you'll be able to understand all this."
I nod at him and we both get up from the table. I have no clue what he has to tell me but I need to know, whatever it is. We walk, a decent sized and noticeable space between us on his part, until we come to a common area that's mostly empty. We sit down on a bench, away from everyone else and I stare at him, waiting.
Finally, he starts. "You can't be mad at Gale for what happened."
"Like hell I can't. Him hitting you? That's not an okay thing."
"I need you to just listen right now. Let me just get this all out before you talk, okay?"
"Sorry." I say quietly and nod for him to continue again.
"Gale had a reason to do what he did. A reason to feel threatened. Back when you two were dating, right when you got together, that was when I decided to try and get you to go out with me instead. You see, I'd thought you were the most incredible, most beautiful girl I'd ever seen for as long as I could remember. It was always you. I just never found the courage to act on it. And you never dated anyone so I figured I had plenty of time, you know? And then all of a sudden, in waltzes Gale Hawthorne. And before I knew what was happening, he had your heart in the palm of his hand. I panicked. I thought I just needed to show you that I could be just as charming as he was. Foolishly, thought that was all it would take. So, one day, I got to school really early and left this massive bouquet of sunflowers on your desk. Anonymously. And then I watched from afar as your whole face lit up when you saw them."
He pauses as if he's picturing this whole memory in his head before he tells me the rest of the story. "Anyway, I took off to find Gale and when I did, I boasted about how I'd stolen you away from him, about how I'd won. And he punched my lights out."
He again pauses, this time as I gasp, hand covering my mouth. Gale had done this before? This was a recurrent behavior for him?
"And he had every right to do that. I kinda had it coming. I mean, I knew you two were somewhat together and it was stupid of me to do what I did. After that, I never made a move again. Eventually, Gale and I came to a sort of unspoken agreement that he was comfortable with you and I being friends so long as I never crossed that line again. And for a very long time, that worked wonderfully. You two were happy and in love and you and I were close friends."
"What happened this time?"
"It really was a misunderstanding. Gale somehow heard me and Marah talking about you. I'd told her how you wanted to be friends and leave the past out of it so that you could have someone you didn't have memories to worry about with. She was all for it. Was telling me that this would be the chance I never got before to win you over. Like you having lost your memory and not knowing who Gale was somehow leveled the playing field for me. Like if I wanted to, I could try to get you to love me and not him. It was all Marah pushing though. It wasn't like I planned to act on it."
He stops talking and looks directly at me with the saddest but most sincere of eyes. "I would never do that to you. I wouldn't take advantage of you, ever. I promise I wouldn't."
"I believe you." I say softly. And I do, I really do believe him when he says this to me.
"So Gale, having heard all that talk about this being my chance, comes home from work to find me exiting your place. It's only natural that he'd flip out."
"Tripp, I can see why he would be upset but violence? That's unacceptable."
"He only did what he felt he needed to do. To protect you and what you have with him. I'm not mad. Embarrassed but not mad. I understand, I do. If you were my wife and the situation had been reversed, I'd probably have done the same thing."
"Why didn't you tell me that it was him who hurt you?"
"I'm not even really hurt. He never even hit me. He just held me against the wall and told me to stay away from you. His arm just left a bruise is all and it looks way, way worse than it is. And I didn't tell you because I didn't want to have to get into all of this, me explaining how I love you and how that makes your husband go insane."
"You love me?" Until now, all he's told me, I just assumed it was a very serious like, not love. Love is a whole other level.
"Is it that crazy of a notion?"
"No, not crazy. Just…unexpected."
"Well isn't that how love always is?"
"I don't know. I can't remember what it feels like to be in love."
"Trust me, if anyone knows what it feels like to be in love, it's you. You love Gale so much, so totally and completely. He's your whole world. Give him a chance again and it'll all come back to you. It will. Before you know what hits you, you'll be falling in love all over again."
I stare at him. Feelings of guilt now exchanged for sorrow and thankfulness. Sorry his love is unrequited. Thankfulness that he was able to reassure me about Gale with just a simple statement. His confidence in the love Gale and I share reassures me that being with Gale is right for me.
"Tripp…I wish I was able to tell you how much it means to me that you just had this conversation with me. I know it can't be easy for you."
"Any chance we can just let all this awkwardness disappear now and just be friends? No scheming sisters, no irate husbands, no weirdness between us? What do you say?"
"You've got yourself a deal my friend." I say with a grin as I hold out a hand so we can shake on it. He looks relieved and grips my hand, shaking it in return. And we have a deal. We'll be friends and we won't worry about anyone misunderstanding that. We'll make sure it's clear so there's never a question in anyone's mind.
"Now go find that husband of yours and forgive him already. He's gotta be going nuts right now." He says as he gently pushes me towards the cafeteria. His face has a smile on it and he looks like a burden has been lifted from his shoulders by having been honest with me about everything. But in his eyes, behind everything else, there's a sadness that tries to hide.
(Gale POV)
Her words cut into me so deeply that they took the breath right out of my lungs. I don't even know you and I'm not sure I want to. The last words out of her mouth before she stormed off. She wouldn't listen to me at all, wouldn't let me explain. But can I blame her for that? I already know that I can't. I knew before I ever told her that she'd be furious. I hadn't forgotten the last time I hit Tripp how angry she'd been at me. How we got in a fight and she'd thankfully forgiven me. Could she do it again? Was it even fair of me to ask that of her?
I stay in the stairwell as long as I can before I have to go to work. I try to pull myself together but I'm sure it registers all over my face that I'm a wreck. But how could I not be? I may have just thrown away my whole life because I let my temper get the best of me. How could I not have thought about that before I went and shoved him against the wall by the throat? Why didn't I think it all the way through? I'm so stupid. So stupid.
I suffer through work, thankful I don't have to interact with other people during work. I can't even stand myself right now and I can't imagine anyone else would want my company either. As soon as my shift ends, I hurry home, just wanting to talk to Madge. To fix this and make it all better. To try and do that. If that's even possible.
Outside the door though, I freeze. I don't know what I'll do if she won't talk to me. Or worse, what if she isn't even here? What if she's really done with me and she's gone? I hold my breath and open the door, closing my eyes, afraid I'll see the worst if I look to see if she's here.
When I gain enough courage to open them, I see her. She's here. Sitting crossed legged on the bed, staring at me. I catch my breath and try to make myself speak. "I wasn't sure you'd be here."
"I still live here." She says curtly. "And we aren't finished talking." She adds.
"I know. I have more to tell you. I want to explain it. I know that doesn't make it better but if you only knew the story behind it all, it might make more sense at least."
"I already heard the story. About how this isn't the first time you assaulted Tripp out of jealousy."
"He told you?" I ask as my heart sinks. She went to him and he told her everything before I could. Now I look like an ass and he looks like the innocent victim.
"Yes. But before you flip out about it, you should know that he was completely understanding of what you did and encouraged me to forgive you and let it go."
"And are you going to do that? Are you going to be able to forgive me?" I choke out, desperate for her to do just that.
She looks at me, studying my face. "I already did. "
Scared I haven't heard her correctly, I repeat what I think she said. "You already did?"
"I forgive you. But we do still need to talk about this. It is not okay with me for you to lose your temper to the point that you physically hurt someone. Especially when it's over me."
"I know. I won't let it happen again."
"And I need to know why you didn't trust me. Why you thought you would have anything to worry about, even if Tripp was planning to try and steal me away from you."
"Oh Madge, it isn't you that I don't trust. It's him. All this, it was just too familiar." I say as I sit down on the bed in front of her.
"No, there had to have been some part of you that was worried I would do something dishonest behind your back."
"I trust you, I do. But I do not trust him. See, I know what it's like to love you, how it makes you feel and how it takes over your soul completely. And right now, you're still deciding if you even want to be with me, so hearing some guy say what he did and knowing he loves you, it was just too much. Too scary to let happen. Because if it worked, if you decided that you'd rather be with him than me, it'd kill me."
"I'm not deciding about being with you Gale. It may be taking me some time to become comfortable around you and to get to know you again but I am with you." She explains quietly as she traces tiny circles with her fingers on the bed, not looking up at me.
I reach my fingers out to hers and take her hand. She's with me. Hearing her say it floods me with relief that I've needed so badly. She may not love me yet but she is with me and that's the most she can offer me right now which I'll take. Happily, thankfully, I'll take it. Madge is with me. "You have no idea how much I needed to hear you say that to me." My voice coming out so quiet and hushed.
She looks up at me, her hand still in mine. "I'm sorry that we fought." Her tiny voice tells me as she gives me an apologetic look.
I lean forward, doing the only thing that feels natural right now, and I kiss her. As I kiss her, I can feel her kiss me back, leaning into me, reaching for me. I let go of her hand and press my palms to either side of her face, kissing her deeper. When I pull back from the kiss, I leave my hands on her face. She's breathless and flushed. Blue eyes alive and thrilling. And then she does something I don't expect at all. She reaches forward, knotting my shirt in her fist, and pulls me to her lips, kissing me again.