Another chonk of a chapter. hence the three different titles like its a narnia book. apologies in advance, i haven't had access to Word to spell check (normally its a combo of docs and word to catch as many errors as possible) so there maybe some mistakes ive missed.

But now things were loud and bad and about to get worse. At Atlanta's slip, Marina had kicked out and back, jerked so hard out of Atlanta's grasp her heel hit the couch with a thud. Marina glared at her with Fear and rage like Atlanta had never known the mermaid have for terreanians before.

"Stop. Stop." Marina signed.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't-." Atlanta tried again. But the damage was done.

Then when Atlanta stood, Marina stood too, dislodging herself from the couch and shooting up like a cork up on the seat. Then ended up falling over and scrambled off on the cushions in a tumble very unlike her usual somewhat ethereal grace.

"Are you alright-?" Atlanta asked, afraid she'd bumped something, but Marina flapped her hands to keep Atlanta away.

"Stop. Stop it." Marina demanded as she stood back up.

"Okay. Easy," Atlanta said hands up. That's what Phones had said and done last time right? Right?

It seemed to work, a little. Marina nodded distractedly. Though she stepped from foot to foot; and glanced about the room like might bolt to the door again. She turned her back to Atlanta. Then turned back to her. Then away again; circling about a distressed spinning motion.

"Okay Marina, it's okay. Maybe we should both calm down and-?"

Again Atlanta realised that was the wrong thing to say just a second too late. Marina turned back around to face her again so fast her dress went whipping across her frame.

"How? How calm? How?! Stop." Marina snapped back, then stormed past her on shaky feet. Atlanta tried to steady her and Caught her arm. but marina Pushed her away, hard, causing them both to stumble. Atlanta yelped, more in surprise than anything. Marina recoiled Frightened of of the sound, of herself, what she'd had done, scared she'd hurt atlanta. She held both hands up to then stepping back started apologising, caught between fawn and flight. Looking all Lost and panicked and angry and at a loss what to do. And Atlanta felt the same.

"This . Stop. Sorry. Didn't want to talk. But Did. Not did did. Did. Head. Hurts. " Marina signed then stalled, Tears flooded freely now. She Stressed hands to her ears. then sweeping back her green hair hard, Nails catching on a knot.

"Alright. Alright Marina, just stay here. Stay there. It's okay." Atlanta started, soothingly, and remained calm. Even if she didn't feel it. Oh gosh she'd triggered Marina something rotten. She'd pushed her friend too hard and far and now poor Marina was in a worse mess than before. What to do? What could Atlanta say? How would mom fix this? Or father and the others? She didn't have a wrist communicator to call for help! it was in her bag. Could she reach that? Or the emergency radio on the wall by stingray's injector tubes. Marina hadn't wanted anyone else to see her scars or like this. And Atlanta didn't want to make a spectacle of Marina. That wouldn't be right. But Atlanta felt out of her depth and wasn't sure the best tactic to handle this…

Atlanta edged toward the radios, when Marina suddenly said "Titan" with a hard slap to the notepad; almost throwing to the floor, and Making Atlanta jump. Then in big sweeps of her hands Marina rushed out.
"Why? Why do that? He didn't win. But. He did win. Both. Here. Hurt. He hurt me and used his men so he stay clean. no one else. Scared. Scared."

Marina's breathing was hard again. Her chest and shoulders were going up and down nine to the dozen.

"I don't know Marina, I couldn't tell you. Marina? Shh Come sit down." Atlanta said, trying to keep a cool head and listen. Well watch. And watch out for her. Thoughts of radioing for back up took a back seat she decided. She needed to keep Marina safe, calm her down. Even if she was ignoring her pleas and pacing about.

"No one. No more Atlanta." Maria repeated between running agitated hands through her hair. Her teeth bared in a grimace. "why? No more. No one. Stop it. No one else. We're not things. Honour. Hate. No one else hurt. No one else should feel hurt like this. Pacifica. We will never be slaves again. Supposed to. Never to be. Why me, why them. Why am I sad now? Why is it sad now, hurt now, when hurt happened then? No more. For the good of the shell. King. Home. No more. He didn't win. Can't win. I can't."

Or at least that's what Atlanta thought she was saying. Signs began to blur, intertwined with 'Gestures' of the Pacifica language she didn't know.

Marina then sat back down hard on the edge of the table, her legs unable to carry her; shaking her head back and forth back and forth again and again. She was rocking back and forth too. Then side to side and then back and forth again, signing all the while.

"We're not things. No one else. Scars. unclean. No one else should feel hurt like this."

Marina stopped and wrapped her own arms about her middle. Then around her shoulders curling in so tight something went pop. and Atlanta could see nails digging into her back, hear the scrape of fabric.

In all Atlanta's fairy stories when she'd read as a kid, Sirens and mermaids were beautiful untouchable things that Oozed charm and delight, Pulling sailors in and down to the ocean.

Atlanta had (first) thought that at first about Marina when she'd arrived in Marineville. But there was none of the gossamer and awe here. Just a young woman crying like a child, at her most vulnerable and fragile. Fragile like a (poison) flower. Fragile like a (sticker) Bomb: one with the ticker going. The sorrow, the anguish and the anger were Radiating off her.

Like literally? Marina's heart ache wordlessly Pushed with such force outwards it was almost physically pressing against Atlanta's chest and head. She could Taste it, feel it Like static in the air. It was enough to make her eyes prickle again. and Atlanta wondered maybe Troy was right about his physic 'thought transference' theory.

But when she tried to comfort her friend once more, Marina shrugged her off; letting go of her shoulders to press her hands to her eyes hard. before storming up again, Lashing out around her. Not at Atlanta but uncaringly towards the furniture. A cushion. Her skirt. A chair.

The coffee table tipped, scattering the cards and books. But otherwise they both ignored it. Marina began pacing in tight circles, circling like a killer whale in a to-smaller tank, hand flapping between signs. And Atlanta found herself helplessly following Marina about the room. Marina had worked herself up into some sort of freized state, like the power plant about to go nuclear. And Atlanta didn't have the code and call signs here to help or avoid the meltdown.

"No more. No one else. No more slaves. Father. Father." Marina said repeating herself, stuck in another loop. Only taps become thumps and the signs more sporadic.

"Marina- Marina slow down I can't understand." It was true, Atlanta was only Picking up odd words, not even sure Marina was paying attention to how accurate her signs were as she continued.

"Deal. No one else. Hurt. slave. Slave still. Not free. Hurt hurt no one. Choice no choice. Unclean. Dirty."

"No. no you're not!" Atlanta objected, damned if she was going to let Marina think that still. Marina disagreed, swinging about to sign right up in Atlanta's face.

"Yes! Others hurt. Unclean!" she said, Loud as signs could be. and Atlanta found herself in yet another horrid shouting match with someone she cared for, the second in as many days.

"My mistakes. Because me. Hurt HURT." Marina continued. "Don't understand why. King after home because me. Make me behave. Terror fish. My fault. Hurt. Chain. Slave still Not free. Never. How would you know? mine. Scars. days. Was there. At night now all I see-!"

"Marina, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry you went through- well all of that." Atlanta tried, her voice teetering on pleading. " You're allowed to be upset, honey sure but can you just stop a moment? And breath? Please? You're scaring me. And I shouldn't have snapped so loud. I'm sorry-"

But Marina didn't seem to hear her still waving and signing and pacing and shaking her head. And Crying. really crying now holding herself tight Tight around the ribs or tight at the head. This wasn't normal big sad eyes blinking, glamorous heroine crying either. This was Teeth bared, swiping tears crying in an grief stricken angry sort of way Atlanta had not seen on her before.

"Others hurt because of me. Not just me that he hurt. He would laugh. Unclean. Coward. Because of me!"

Usually 'Me' in Sign was a point to oneself. or in diving communications, a hand to the chest? Here, that last one in Marina's distress , 'Me' was a hard smack smack to her own chest. Hard enough to carry sound.

"Marina? Hey now, not so hard, you'll hurt yourself!" Atlanta gasped. But as Marina carried on continuing to vent signs became a Slap against her own fingers. Gestures became even more wild, Marina not noticing or careing if her hands bounced off the furniture in the way. Marina didn't even seem to notice when scrubbing hard at her own eyes caused the beading of her dress left a scratch on her cheek.

When another 'me' caused another hallow thud however Atlanta Stepped in; Neither unable or unwilling to watch Marina physically berate herself any further. Quickly she put herself in front of Marina and slipped her arms between Marina's own, like when they'd done in that self defence class at the rec centre one time. But instead of dropping her like she had the instructor Atlanta held her stance firmly, shielding Marina's own head from any further accident.

It probably went against everything ever written or taught about de-escalation. But Atlanta was thinking solely of Marina, and keeping her safe from harm, even if that was from herself. Besides? The Stingray crew had never been good at the whole 'don't put yourself in danger bit' ; so why shouldn't Atlanta?

The physical force and Atlanta being in her space seemed to jar Marina to her senses enough to freeze up a moment. Marina then fort her off; Squirming in Atlanta's grip and Tried to bat her off. She even tried to pull her off but her hands couldn't get a purchase.

"No." Atlanta told her. Now she had a hold of her she could feel Marina was hyperventilating. And didn't want her to pass out as well. "Come on sit down. Breath."

She Guided Marina to sit back down on the nearest seat, and Half encouraged half Pushed her into it. "Please. You're scaring me and I'm worried you'll get hurt. Deep breaths. Don't rush. Please Marina."

Again Marina tried to fight back. Then as she landed on the chair she gave in and almost doubled over leaning hevilly on Atlanta.

"That's it. Take a breath." she encouraged, "It'll be okay Marina it'll be okay."

Marina shook her head and wrigged again. she pulled her arms Not free but enough to get hands together to make signs

"Others will see. Scars unclean."

"No no they won't. They won't. And you're not." Atlanta swore, still feeling Guilty for bringing up such bad memories and for pressing so. Marina was shaking like a leaf now.

"Can you take a nice deep breath for me?" she asked again. Relaxing her arms moved behind Marina and held her by her shoulders instead.

"Come on, it's alright please could you just take a nice deep breath for me? Please? And another. Let it out honey, calm down." Atlanta soothed Trying To bring her down. It seemed to be working. Either that or Marina was tiring. She'd started just crying a little bit instead. Atlanta settled on the seat next to her and took both Marina's hands in one of hers, rubbing her other up and down Marina's back.

"You squeeze my hand, let me know how you're doing."

Slowly, slowly, Marina came back to herself, bit by bit.

"Slave. Unclean." She said in a small 'voice' putting her hands right up to her face to talk inbetween wiping her eyes.

"No. No you're not. And you're free." Atlanta said, thumbing away the tears and Wiping Marina's face. Marina was still shivering and shuddered even as Atlanta pushed back her hair. it had come loose in parts and the fringe had fallen in Marina's eyes.

"But You let it out honey. No more hitting yourself though. You're safe." she continued, fussing over her. " You're safe Marina, you really are. I've got you. Oh dear. You've caught your face quite badly here? It's not bleeding, it just might sting. But you're free. And safe. Here. And you're never ever going back to Titainica. You didn't deserve that .You're free, and we'll make sure it stays that way. For good this time. And… what is it?"

Atlanta wasn't sure what it was she'd said wrong this time. But Marina stopped, frozen almost. Then looked up at her, her eyes big and terrified despite the frown. Atlanta Confused, frowned right back. Marina blinked, and spoke with trembling hands.

"D." She said weakly spelling it. "D e . service"

Atlanta frowned harder, Running back through what she'd just said.

"Deserve? I said, " You didn't deserve that." Atlanta repeated, still baffled.

Marina nodded, still trying to get a normal breath.

"Question."

"Well you didn't? You didn't. You know that right?" Atlanta asked. Marina didn't respond. "right? And none of it was your fault? You really didn't deserve it. Any part of this."

Marina swallowed, looked away and gave a little shake of her head. An unwelcome tear leaked from the dark lashes and was swiped away.

Atlanta swallowed trying to stifle a Heart Crushing blow to the solar plexus. And felt dread worse than any nightmare.

"You- you think you did?"

Marina made to nod. But Atlanta caught her chin. "Marina, no. No. No, it's inhumane-!"

"Not human." Marina scoffed.

"That's not what that means." Atlanta replied. Marina tipped her head out of the hold and looked away to the other side. But Atlanta tried anyway to get through to her.
"You didn't deserve to be bullied or chained up like that, in any shape or form! Never!"

Marina shook her but her breathing was picking up speed again, Atlanta noticed. "Did. Hurt to me? but it's my fault!"

"No. No, I mean it Marina! You didn't. Not at all." Atlanta insisted. She moved off the couch and knelt in front of the mergirl again.

"Just because they hurt you does not mean you deserved it." she said firmly. Then made a real effort to keep her voice low and steady.
"Even if you were trying to escape you shouldn't have been punished for it. I don't know what he told you or what you've been thinking or how you ended up there in the first place but-!"

Atlanta paused, something clicking into place. Marina looked at her. And gripped Atlanta's arm tight tight tight. Enough to hurt.

"Oh …is that? that's why you've been so frightened…" Atlanta asked quietly. "It is, isn't it Marina? Not just these scars. You were scared of what we'd all think?"

Marina nodded slowly. She squeezed her hands into fists before signing again.

"Unclean. Marked. Not because, damage. Because Gave up. And Worse. Others got hurt. Unclean I deserve. not them. Unclean. Unhelpful. slave."

"You're not." Atlanta repeated. "Shh, deep breaths. It's okay."

Marina, frustrated, shook her head and made a writing motion. Atlanta after a second of searching, grabbed her the pad of paper. Again, with scrambled or backwards letters and a one missing S Marina explained herself.

COWARD it said one line.

TRAITORESS it said below it.

"What people always say." Marina said, tapping the words between the signs. "Call me. TRAITORESS. And if knew scars they'd see me as Coward too. As well And Traitor. Is true!" she argued when Atlanta shook her head.
"Because I gave up. Even went back? When Titan tried to make Troy sick. If Pacifica ever learn that too then TRAITORESS for real. Unclean."

"But you went back to save Troy! Titan poisoned him and wanted you in exchange for the antidote. It was hardly willingly. He practically forced your hand!" Atlanta tried, but Marina wouldn't hear it.

"Unclean." Marina repeated. "Even if was scared, did have choice even I know I had to. because I didn't know Troy was alive or not but still went back. Unclean and traitor. To Pacifica. And Wasps? Wasps don't like traitors."

Atlanta did not have an answer for that. Not after the way her father had been treated while under false suspicion of stealing equipment.

"Coward. And didn't want to lose friends... But couldn't face you all." Marina continued, fresh tears starting to form again. Atlanta held her arm, giving it an encouraging squeeze but left her hands free to sign. "When you saw scar? and Hiding started…Couldn't face you Atlanta. Sorry. Sorry. Couldn't face myself too... Remembering thoughts... Bad time. And My fault. all…"

"No." Atlanta said, sadly; and felt her own tears and voice catch and clog her throat but powered on through it. "None of it is your fault. None. You have to believe me. And it's okay you were scared, I was too. But Marina I meant it, no one would think less of you. And certainly not anyone who matters. do you hear?"

Marina let out sob, signing yes no yes no again. As well as unclean and sorry again too.

"Breath? But Look at me. I mean it. I promise even. Hand on heart." Atlanta said, demonstrating. And even as Marina was Moved to more tears told her;

"No one would think less of you for surviving what T- you were put through. None of it was your fault. It was his. He chose to order his men; he chose to keep you prisoner. And none of it you deserved, or was your fault. Hey? Shush there there. There, There Marina. Oh honey. Shh it's alright it'll all be okay. What can I do to help? Can I hug you? Or get you a drink, Or something?"

The question seemed to momentarily confuse Marina and she paused mid- wiping her eyes. It was redundant really; Atlanta pretty much had her arms about her anyway, holding her. But Marina was perhaps unused to such actions or affection, especially from her? Pacifican's didn't really seem the hugging sort; from what little physical interactions and affections she'd seen Marina give on land. Save for occasional looping of arms or encouraging squeeze of hands? And when they were reunited, Troy had described the arm waving between Marina and her father as maybe their equivalent of an embrace.

"Would you like a hug? Would that help?" Atlanta asked again.

Marina seemed unsure, and Hesitated. She was doing that a lot recently. Then her pretty face crumpled again and she nodded.

Atlanta Barely even got out a "Come here then" before Marina was slipping off the couch and practically fell into Atlanta's open arms. Quite hard. Marina was pretty solid for a petite little thing. Marina threw her arms around her friend with almost bruising force too, clutching to her shirt and burying her face in her shoulder. But Atlanta didn't mind, wrapping her friend up in the hug she fingered they probably both clearly needed. Marina's shoulders were shaking again though. Heaving even. Atlanta held her close and gently and safe, her own tears catching in Marina's hair; as with Not a sound, Marina bawled her heart out all over again.

a/N ah the cresendo. boom. this was THE chapter I've been most nervous and most wanting to write. phew! I'm gonna take another break then back into calmer waters as we steer toward then end. take care have a beautiful weekend.