Chapter 14
(Gale POV)
All I can think is what will Madge think about this? How does she feel about me leaving and going on a very dangerous, very risky rescue mission? I just spent the better part of the morning in Haymitch's office going over all the mission plans. It's huge. Way bigger than I think it should be but apparently, according to people they have working on the inside, this is our one shot and it's completely necessary. Once I read over all the information, I knew I had to do it. I had to help however I could. But I also knew there was no way I would do it without talking it over with Madge first. Just me and Madge. No Haymitch or anyone else around to put any pressure on her. I want to know how she really feels about me being a part of this. And if she isn't comfortable with it, I'm not going to do it.
I don't even know how to begin speaking to her about it. I had to practically beg Haymitch to let me talk to Madge first. He'd expected me to agree to help right away. And in all honesty, I think I would have been quick to join them had Madge not been in the picture. If she wasn't a factor, I'd never have to even think about it. But, she's my everything and I refuse to do this without her approval. Finally, he'd agreed to give me two hours to get back to him. Apparently, our window of opportunity is extremely narrow. And it's later tonight. Right now, I'm on my way to find Madge. I have no idea what her schedule is like today so I'm gonna check home first. Hopefully she's there. I really don't want to have to discuss this in a public place. I punch in the key code and enter. There she is, asleep on the bed. She looks so completely peaceful that I can't stand knowing I'll have to wake her up. I sit down on the bed next to where she's laying and gently shake her shoulder.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" She asks groggily as she yawns and rubs her eyes waking up.
"Had to come find you and get your thoughts on something. Sorry I had to wake you up. You not feeling good or are you just bored?"
"Oh I'm fine. Mild headache earlier but it seems to be gone now. They aren't nearly as bad as they were before. What's up? What do you need to talk about?" She tells me as she sits upright, scooting herself closer to me.
"Well, you know how I had to go to the Defense Department today? They wanted to talk to me about a rescue mission. One for District 12. And they want me to be a part of it."
"Rescue for 12? For who? And how big a part are we talking here?" She spouts out questions rapidly, fully awake and alert now.
"It's a rescue to get out as many citizens of 12 as we can manage. And it's kind of a big part for me if I do it. I'd be leading groups through the woods to the pickup points and going back for more if possible."
Her mouth hangs open and for a moment, she's silently stunned. "As much of 12 as possible? What?"
"Yeah. 13 has people in the Capitol who are undercover and send messages and warnings back here. Well, apparently, Snow is furious over still not having located the escaped tributes and their families. He's declared vengeance on 12 as we had the most escapees. He's gonna demolish it. All of it."
"When? When is he doing this?" She asks, her eyes wide and full of horror as she pictures the place she grew up being destroyed.
"Tomorrow morning. So the rescue has to happen tonight. They want to get as many people out as possible. If I help, I leave in a couple hours."
"And if you don't help?"
"Then I don't help. I will only do it if you're one hundred percent okay with it. I would never go otherwise."
"No, I mean, if you don't go, then who helps in your place?"
"Someone from the Defense Staff here in 13. They want me and Katniss because we know the woods so well that traveling through them swiftly in the dead of night will be easier for us. They think it'll help rescue more people."
"Katniss is doing it?"
"Yeah. Haymitch will be part of it too but he stays in the hovercrafts. And there's of course a few people from 13 on the rescue team."
"What about Peeta?"
"Nah, not Peeta. He's not familiar with the woods and he's not part of the Defense Department. His skills and talents aren't really needed by the Defense Department. I think that's why they put him in the kitchen to work originally anyway."
Madge is quiet. Fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. I don't say anything, just let her think. I know the last thing she expected was to have me come in here and drop all this on her. Heck, it was the last thing I'd expected to happen today. When she finally looks up at me, her eyes are teary.
"You have to do it. This whole thing, it's all my fault. All of it. Had my mother never signed that deal, had I never gone into the arena, had I never needed rescue from the games, none of this would be happening. 12 wouldn't be in danger at all. Not like this anyway. You have to go Gale. I don't want you too, but you just have too. I can't let everyone die just because of me. Please, you have to help them. For me." She pleads, tears flowing from her eyes.
"No, no. Don't blame all this on you. Remember who's really responsible for all this. It's Snow. It's the Capitol. Not you. It's never your fault, okay?"
"But it is." She insists through her tears, shaking her head and then continuing. "Will you do it? Will you go?"
"I'll go but only if you're really sure about it."
She leans forward, pressing her lips against mine with fierceness and emotion. I grip her shoulders, kissing back. When we pull back, her tearstained face is enough to break your heart. Fear, sadness, guilt. It all registers there.
"I'll be back tomorrow morning. I'll find you as soon as I get back. I promise. You…You'll be alright here tonight by yourself?"
"Don't worry about me. I'll be just fine. Maybe I'll go kidnap Posey for a sleepover or something. You just go do what you have to and get back here to me. Safely." She says, futilely wiping the tears from her eyes and trying to put on a brave face.
"I will. I promise. And Madge, I love you." I whisper, then kiss her softly once more before I have to leave. I don't usually tell her I love her. Not in straight out words like that but I needed to say it right now and it's okay that she isn't able to say it back to me yet. When I say it, her tears only flow more profusely and she nods, kisses me back and then gestures for me to go.
Outside our door, I have to stop and lean against the wall for a moment to collect myself. I take a few deep breaths and close my eyes. It's so hard to leave her here. Every part of me is screaming at me to just stay. To stay here with her where I know we're together and safe. But I know that I can't do that. I have to do this.
Back in the Haymitch's office everything becomes a whirlwind as soon as I say yes. They take me and Katniss to be fitted for special nighttime gear. Black clothing so we'll blend into the night. It has a temperature feature which is meant to help maintain our body heat as we'll be outside in the cold of night for hours. Glasses that have night vision. Boots.
"Is there anyway I can get my old boots? These are fine and all but I think I'd be more comfortable in my own." I ask once I try on the issued boots. They're stiff, not broken in like mine and I know they'll slow me down.
"I'll approve that, if you really think it'll help you." The man issuing our equipment and clothing says. He scribbles something on a notepad and hands it to another worker who then disappears through a door. When she returns, she's holding my boots in hand. They'd taken them from me when we first got to 13 and issued me the standard uniform stuff. Having them back, feeling them on my feet, gives me confidence that I can do this. Makes me feel more like Gale Hawthorne of 12. It feels good.
After clothing, we're given weapons and quick lesson on how to use them. Small, handheld guns. I've never held one before and it feels strange having one in my grip. It's lighter than I would've imagined and unnerving. I've hunted for years. Killed animals for food. I'm not unfamiliar with using weapons. Yet, somehow, knowing this gun is meant to be used on humans, it leaves me with a sick feeling in my stomach. I don't want to have to use this. Hopefully, I won't have too.
We're given a quick meal and then sent to load up on the hovercrafts. There's a total of four crafts going. One runner for each craft. That's what Katniss and I are. Runners. When the crafts land out in the woods, we'll disembark and make our way to the fence where we should find people waiting for us. Undercover Peacekeepers in 12 are supposedly responsible for collecting people and bringing them to one of two sections of fence that has power temporarily turned off. One section in town and one in the Seam. I'm working the town section because I'm more familiar with the woods there than Katniss is. Madge and I spent a lot of time in the woods behind her house whereas Katniss kept more towards the Seam side of the woods.
There will be two other runners who have never actually been in the woods outside of 12 but have studied extensively over landscape maps. Apparently, 13 has a couple people like this for every district. People who's job it is to know the ins and outs of every district even though they've never actually been there. It's supposed to help strengthen the rescue teams should a rescue ever be needed. Like tonight for example.
There's a pilot for each craft, a communicator and a medic. The pilot of course flies and navigates the hovercraft. The communicator sends and translates messages back and forth with a command center in 13. The medic is for just in case something happens. Just in case something goes a little bit off plan. Each hovercraft can hold up to 50 passengers. We'll have to make multiple runs, complicating our mission, making each run slightly more dangerous than the previous one. And the runners are personally in extra danger because once each group is loaded onto a hovercraft, it takes off heading out to drop them off in 13 before coming back to pick up the next load of people. During that time when the hovercraft is gone, us runners will be making the trek back through the woods towards the fences of 12 to collect another group of people. Meaning that during that time, we're out there completely alone. No way to communicate. No way to call for help or to escape. If something goes wrong, 13 won't be there to help us. That'll be our most vulnerable time during the mission.
We're instructed that if anything happens and we're captured that we are not, under any circumstances to divuldge the whereabouts or secrets of the existence of 13. As they told us all that, all I could picture was being stuck in some Capitol prison and being tortured as they tried to pry information from us. I shuddered and tried desperately to shake off the image that was now trapped in my mind.
The mission is to rescue as many as we possibly can but in truth we won't be able to save everyone. Not by a long shot. We've already been told that time will only allow us a maximum of 4 runs. And that's a best case scenario. And we've been forewarned that not everyone will be willing to come and not everyone is welcome to come. The undercover peacekeepers will have predetermined who will be eligible. If anyone is deemed to be too much of a Capitol Supporter, they aren't welcome and therefore won't be gathered and brought to the fences. 13 is very big on keeping itself safe from the hands of Snow and they're cautious with who they rescue because of this.
Once I board my craft and feel the engines roaring beneath my feet, I have a surge of adrenalin. An urge to get out there, get this done. A feeling like I can do this. My hands and feet are jittery as we take off. Nervous energy. Anxiousness. Anger even. Towards the Capitol of course. How dare they plan to do away with an entire district of people? As if they don't matter? As if they don't love, hope and hurt and feel just like anyone else? As if they were nothing of value? How dare they.
(Madge POV)
I sit crossed legged on our bed until my tears dry up. He's gone. Not forever of course but there's something about just knowing that he's away from here that leaves me feeling so empty. So hollow and alone. Like the best part of me is missing. It's a new and unwanted feeling. One I dislike very much and hope I never have to feel again.
He'd let the decision be mine. Said he wouldn't go unless I was comfortable with it. I didn't want him to go at all but at the very same time all I wanted was for him to go. I didn't even know it was possible to have two such opposing desires at the exact same time. How I could selfishly want him here with me but also plead for him to go and save as many people as he could?
I am so ready for him to just be back. Hasn't even been gone two hours yet but the second that door closed behind him, every part of me ached for him. His words tugged at my heart and I'd found myself almost returning them, almost speaking them back. I love you. He'd said it, knowing full well I wouldn't say it back. Knowing I'm not quite there yet. But now I wonder if I am? Is that what this feeling is? Have I fallen in love with him?
A/N: Okay, sorry this chapter was shorter than usual, it just sort of worked out that way.I'd intended to make it longer, especially from Madge's POV, but liked it better with just a small glimpse into the emotions she's feeling about Gale's departure. Chapters should return to normal length with the next posting. Thanks again to all of you who follow, read and review this story!