Joey's P.O.V
I went around to Uncle Max's house early this morning and to my surprise Lauren was the one who answered the door.
"Hey, babe. Is your dad around?" I asked with a small smile on my face. She looked so fragile and I just wanted to hold her whilst she cried. However, Lauren suddenly turned on her heel and left me at the front door, signalling to come in and pointed to the lounge where I later found Max.
Lauren's P.O.V
I couldn't bring myself to speak to anyone today. How am I supposed to carry on like this. Joe came around this morning to my dad, I remembered it was his first day at work, but I just ignored him like he wasn't there. Even after how nice he had been so far. My mind was going into overdrive and I concluded that I have lost contact with the outside world already, why should I carry on if it isn't going to get any better? Not being able to express my feelings has been tough, silent treatment for everybody will be the easiest way to move on. No distractions just me and my thoughts.
That is how I lived my life for a good few weeks and it was now March 15th. Everyone you could possibly think of had been around my house after being coaxed by my dad. I wasn't willing to give in to temptation and just burst out with it. I thought I would be able to just move on eventually, all of my problems would just go away, but how could they. I also concluded in my mind that drink was far from the answer.
Joey's P.O.V
My first day at the car lot went even better than planned. Max thought I should start on the easy work, but after shifting the KA he has been longing to sell for months, he soon had a change of heart. Since then, every other day which I have been at the car lot, I have sold a car. Last week I even drove to Cardiff to seal a deal on a package which consisted of several cars much to our joy.
Now my worry is only focusing on my cousin who hasn't spoke to anyone since the day we all went around almost a month ago. Her grief is seriously getting the better of her now. She has been drawing, although her art is immaculate, it isn't the same as our usual banter. Leaving her to just be alone with her thoughts isn't the best idea I've ever had, but every time I try she pushes me away, leaving her alone is the only option I have right now.
Max's P.O.V
"This isn't easy for anyone of us, Lauren!" I screamed in my daughters face, hoping that way I would get a response, but when I didn't I had to try again. "Your Mum wouldn't want you to sit around moping all day, stop sitting around, get over it!"
I didn't mean to say that, she would never completely get over it, nor would I and nor would Abi or Oscar. In the moment I couldn't stop my self. Then she began shedding the tears she'd held in for so long. Being strong definitely wasn't one of my daughter's strong points.
"Look, Lauren, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." I admitted, looking down whilst rubbing the nape of my neck.
"No, you shouldn't have, dad. I'm sure mum wouldn't want you to stand there and shout at me as if nothing has happened either. You didn't see her, dad. When she was in pain from her chemotherapy, you were never there, I was. Even at the end you did nothing in your ability to help her you just stood by and watch all of the life she once had die down. Don't you dare blame me, put the guilt onto my shoulders, you aren't any better than I am or was." She croaked out to me for the first time in a month.
I took her in my arms and cradled her shaking body until she pushed me away and ran to the front door. She slammed it before I could get there and I saw this as a positive, she was out of the house for the first time since the funeral, maybe this was the start of a new beginning.
Lauren's P.O.V
I was actually gob-smacked at how my own father just took his grief out on me like this whole mess was my doing. I decided to get away for a while. Walking in the wind seemed to be a comfort after what my mum told me that night at the hospice.
-;Flashback;-
I walked into my mothers room, the coldness hitting me almost instantly, unbeknown what to expect when I arrived at her bedside. I took her hand firmly in mine as I stoked the back of it with my thumb.
"Mum? Hey, it's Lauren." I smiled when I saw her eyes flicker. Then I winced at the pain I could see she was in.
"Hello Daring," My mum said, a small smile daring to show on her face, "Remember me, darling. I will always be here. My love for you is like the wind, you won't be able to see it any more but you will be able to feel it, that way you'll know I'll always be here. Thank you." Where I would normally find a line spoken like that somewhat cheesy, that night I didn't, I knew it came from the heart. A tear rolled down my cheek as her hand promptly turned cold. I kissed her hand gently and whispered in her ear before kissing her cheek.
"Goodbye, Mum. I love you, for ever and always."
-;End of Flashback;-
As I though,t about those few last minutes walking across the square, I couldn't help but let another few tears roll down my face. I sat on my mum's bench, for the first time, flowers still moderately fresh.
After calming down I made my way to the tube station. Although I had made such a big deal out of the drink not being the answer any more, that was undoubtedly what I needed. I used my dad's debit card which he had gave me for emergencies to get some money out before heading to R&R.
A/N
As promised, this is your update for today.
I really, really hope I haven't let anyone down, I think I might have though.
I'm indecisive whether to continue posting this, hearing your thoughts on it would help, see you over the weekend. X