Chris's P.O.V.
(I know the pov's are usually Kendall or Logan but from what goes on in this chapter, I thought it would be helpful to have it seen through Chris's eyes.)
I'm just a liar that lies. I've never even once thought about disobeying my dads, or going against their will, but when you're 18 and your entire world is flipped upside down, you react. And those reactions can either cause a tidal wave, or just a ripple in the water. Unfortunately my reactions, towards my dad's, my sister and my friends caused a tidal wave, and now we were here. Being told your younger sister is in the hospital because she tried to kill herself, hurts. Especially when you know you could have done something to stop her. I could have intervened but I didn't in fear. And because if I tried, she would have yelled at me, and pushed me away even more. I've seen how bad she's gotten, with the not eating, staying in her room as much as she can, and then putting on a fake ass face to cover up her pain and misery. She isn't very good at it, but good enough to make it seem like she's the happy and healthy girl so if I did tell someone, anyone, they wouldn't believe me. But after this morning, hearing and seeing my dad in her face about it only makes me a worse brother. I could have told him along and he could have dealt with it, so that it didn't come to this.
But my sister wasn't the only thing on my mind. I was pretty sure after the fight they had last night, my parents would be getting a divorce. Not that I particularly wanted that, but my dad one, had really hurt my dad two. I suddenly looked up, smiling because I had thought of the old names I used to call them. When my parents told me they were both my dad's, I was only about 5. They introduced themselves to me as Logan and Kendall and I thought that was pretty cool. But I wanted to be like all the other kids and call them daddy or poppa. After a while that got too confusing for them. So Kendall, or who I know call dad, was dad two, and Logan who I got used to and liking, calling him pop, or poppa, was dad one. They told me Maggie caught on to calling them that as well but we both grew out of it, I guess. I shook my head slightly and slouched in my seat turning my head to the right to see James and Carlos quietly talking to each other.
I was a little confused, as to why my dad was so willing to bring him back in. Like the things he's done the past couple weeks, or months didn't matter and he forgave him. I didn't understand. Watching the way pop acted towards dad, really killed me. And I know it killed dad. You could just see it in his eyes. There was no light there anymore, and there was no love in his tired old green eyes. It made me mad, but I couldn't stay mad for long. Poppa was still my parent and I loved him. Just like my ad does…I guess. I guess I just don't understand anything really. I never have, maybe. "Chris…" I looked up quick to see my parents standing in front of me, lazily holding each other's hands. I jumped up quick, swallowing hard, seeing how pissed off my dad looked and glanced to my poppa. He looked sad, and like he had been crying, and even looked like he was still crying.
"How's Maggie?" Carlos took the words right out of my mouth and him and James stood up looking at my dad's.
"Well she's okay. Her arms and bandaged up and the IV has to stay in her arm for a while but she's okay. Physically." I shoved my hands in my pockets and looked down at my feet, which I started shuffling. "Can you guys give us a minute with him? I'm sure Maggie would love some company." I heard footsteps and looked up. James and Carlos walked between us not saying one word and I gritted my teeth hard. They got to see my little sister, before I did. "Room 112." They both nodded and my dad watched them disappear down the hall before turning to me, angry again. "We need to have a talk. Outside." He moved out of my way and pointed to the ER doors. I swallowed hard and moved quickly past both of them.
It was snowing…again and I regretted not grabbing a coat before we left. They were both right behind me as soon as I started walking and I quickly thought of a game plan. I was just going to sit back and take whatever was going to happen. Nothing could be that bad though because they didn't know something that would probably make them kill me. Hopefully this would be quick and painless. Knowing my dad, he had known idea what either of those words meant. "Don't yell…"I turned hearing my pop and saw him wrap around my dad's arm looking at me. My dad cleared his throat and put his other hand in his pocket, like how I was doing.
"Tell me about your girlfriend." I froze in my shoes and felt the blood drain my face. They knew. I'm not sure how…but they knew. I was in so much trouble I would never be able to leave the house again. "I met her at the game a few weeks ago…Lily right?" I cocked my head to the side, slightly and frowned. "Do you really like her?"
"Well…actually I haven't been dating her for a while." Both of them stood up straight and stared intently. "I…I broke up with her."
"Why?" I turned to my pop and shrugged and got angry thinking about the day I broke up with her, and why I did it.
"I heard from some kids she's been giving Maggie a hard time. And then I saw…" I stopped and swallowed hard, suddenly putting all the pieces together. "It's because of Lily she's in here isn't it?" They both nodded and I felt the sudden urgency to throw up. "I broke up with her, they day I saw Lily corner Maggie then pour water on her. I never even…asked Maggie if she was okay afterwards…I…I knew she has been having a hard time in school with friends, but I never knew…I had no idea it was Lily doing it to her." I closed my eyes and hoped and prayed they went seeing the tears falling. I was officially the worst brother in the world. It was my fault my little sister tried to take her life. "My fault…"
"Chris…" I felt two hands on my face and opened my eyes. My pop was standing in front of me, just a little shorter than me. He was crying too and shaking his head. "This is not your fault." I went to lower my head but he held my face a little tighter and got closer to me. "Look at me…Christopher." I looked up quick and he continued shaking his head. "This is not your fault. Your sister is going to be okay, and we are all going to be watching her very closely. She isn't ever going to do this again, and it is not your fault. Okay?" I could only nod, even though I didn't believe him. He pulled me in for a much needed hug and I gratefully wrapped around him, tight. I put my head on his shoulder, and stopped the crying, but still felt sick to my stomach. "Does Maggie know you guys aren't together anymore?"
"No…I never told her."
"Why did Lily say you guys were dating at your game?" I looked up and pushed away from pop and watched my dad come closer. "She was pretty sure you guys were dating…"
"I don't know if you know this, but she's kind of a psycho." My dad smiled small and nodded. "I'm sorry for yelling at you." He smiled small and nodded. I wiped my face quick, cleaning it of tears and chuckled. "Man…when you guys asked me about my girlfriend I thought you were going to ground me." My dad chuckled along with me and then stopped. And so did I.
"Why would we have grounded you?" Again I felt like throwing up, realizing had just put myself in a big hole. "Chris…is there something you want to tell us?" I groaned closing my eyes, knowing if I got it out now, my punishment would come quicker.
"I cheated on Lily with another girl, Rose, and that's another reason why I broke up with Lily because Rose is pregnant and she's keeping the baby, and I promised I'd support her." I said it all kind of rushed and quiet and hoped I didn't have to repeat it. Ever again. But I didn't hear anything from them, and I didn't feel like I was about to get my ass beat, so I cautiously opened my eyes and sucked in a harsh breath seeing them. Both of them were stuck in their spots, mouths hanging open, just staring at me. I swallowed hard raising a hand and waving it in front of both their faces. Neither of them blinked or even flinched. I put my hand down and glanced around, seeing no one, around. I sighed and turned back to my parents, a little worried. "Guys…guys…you okay?" I took a step forward and my dad breathed out hard and closed his eyes.
"Can you repeat that last part…please?" I frowned and slouched a little.
"I got a girl pregnant dad. I'm not upset…sure I'm scared but I'm kind of excited. And I really want your guys support too." My dad looked down at my poppa who I just now noticed was looking really pale, and sickly. "Pop…you okay?"
"No…no I'm not doing good right now. I need some air…"
"Loges were outside." He turned up to my dad who chuckled and shrugged. "Once you let it sink in we can talk privately about this, and talk to her parents."
"They don't know." They both turned to me, my dad, thankfully, not killing me, and looking calm. "Her dad's a preacher. If he found out she even had sex, especially with me…"
"Especially with you?" I nodded and he frowned. "Let me guess…hates the gays?"
"Kendall…"
"No that's exactly why."
"So…her parents don't know? What happens when she starts showing?" This was something I thought about over and over, replaying it in my head.
"Her parents will kick her out. Disown her kind of thing…." My dad sighed and pulled my pop's hood on his head and nudged him towards the hospital.
"Go sit down and breathe Logan. You're going to pass out."
"No. I'm going to be a granddad…" He turned though and walked in mumbling to himself.
"Is this why you wanted to stay and not go to Notre Dame?"
"I'm not going to leave her dad. I know…you're going to give me the speech about how I was irresponsible and stupid and that playing ball in college is my future and I shouldn't throw it away, but if there is anything you two have taught me its…"
"Chris stop talking for a minute." I stopped and looked up at him. He was smiling. I frowned and pouted as best as I could, like when I was little. He laughed and sighed out putting his head back. "I don't know about you, but I could really go for a beer right now…just to, calm down and put everything in perspective."
"If it makes you feel any better, I wasn't going to tell you guys at all." He shook his head and glared at me. I smiled but it faded fast. "Rose found out I wasn't going to go to Notre Dame and she got upset. She doesn't want me throwing away my future just because of her."
"Do you think you would be?" I twisted my face to make him know he had upset me and he chuckled lightly. "Let's sit…" He nodded over to the bench I was sitting on earlier and I followed him. He sat down quick and shoved his hands in his pockets. "I don't know if me or your dad ever told you but when we had decided we wanted kids…I was not ready for it." He looked out at the parking lot and smiled at a distant memory. "But he was persistent, and convinced me to do it. The whole process was so…overwhelming. I was scared shitless dude. TO know that in 9 months you were going to have a child, a small…helpless innocent kid to look after…really knocks you on your ass. There is no option of fucking around every night, going out with your buddies and getting wrecked. You get responsibilities. You essentially lose your own life."
"Are you trying to make me feel better?" He turned down to me and smiled bumping into my shoulder.
"My point is…and I say this not because I never wanted you or your brother and sisters, but because I was scared. When we had gotten the call your…mom was pregnant, do you know what the first thing I did was?" I raised my eyebrows and shook my head watching him, watch me. "I went to the record label to get started on another album.. Get a tour started…go back to work." I sat back, confused and he shrugged coughing into his hand. It was a short cough, one that I knew he was grateful he got. Most of the time, his coughs are harsh and hurtful. This one was a breeze for him to get through. "Yeah your dad gave me the same look. He was so pissed off at me. He told em I was just trying to run away because I was scared. I told him he was throwing away our dreams for something, neither of us were ready for. I mean…what if something had happened? What if we didn't get to have kids, for some ridiculous reason? We had thrown away our jobs, and careers…for nothing." He turned out to the parking lot and smiled. "After a few long hours of fighting, and making snide comments, I was finally convinced."
"How?" He turned to me and smiled even bigger.
"Your Uncle Carlos and Aunt Clair came by with Benjamin. I got to hold him…I got to hear a baby's laugh. I got to find out, firsthand what it's like to see the small helpless innocent baby. I got to know what it's like to feel someone need you more than your own breath." He looked away and his smile fell. "No matter what people say, or what someone thinks of you…at the end of the day if you're happy, it was worth it." He turned to me and smiled. "My greatest accomplishment was having my kids. No record, no tour…none of it can ever compare. Don't let an opportunity like this slip through your hands."
"Even if I'm only 18 I still have your support?"
"Especially now. However…your father might be harder to convince…" I head the automatic doors behind us, and turned just to see him walking out.
"Christopher Knight! How could you have been so irresponsible?!" He got right in front of me and I was nudged gently. I turned to my dad who smiled and leaned into my ear.
"Take it like a man…he'll come around."