"What is it Kev?" Adam cornered him in the break room. He'd come back from visiting a CI, or so he said and had avoided everyone and Adam could tell by the way he moved that he was hiding something.

"Not here Bro."

"Later? "

Kevin just nodded and pushed past his buddy back out into the bullpen and headed for his desk. Hailey asked him where her coffee was and he just shrugged before slumping into his chair and chewing his bottom lip as he watched Kim and then Hailey go about their work.

When Hailey got up from her desk and headed to the break room his eyes followed her and Adam saw it. Everyone was watching everyone these days and it felt heavy. Every moment in this bullpen felt clouded in something and it was unsettling and hard to shake. Adam tried to catch his eye but Kev avoided him and did his level best to avoid him for the rest of the day. He knew something and it was driving Adam to distraction.

Then he was thrown for a bit of a loop though when Kim asked him if he'd like to get some dinner. It was the first time in months she had asked and he wasn't turning down that opportunity. It may have meant nothing good for him, like she was going to tell him once and for all to move out or not, and he was hanging onto the not. "Sure. Where you thinkin'?"

"Somewhere quiet."

Catching Kevin before they left Kev told him not to worry about it, enjoy the night and take care of their girl. "It's nothing that can't wait."

"You sure?"

"Bro, get out of here before she changes her mind." Kevin literally pushed him out of the locker room.

They found a small, quiet out of the way restaurant that they'd never been to before. It was another thing that had changed, on the rare times they went anywhere together it was never to a place they'd been before. Too many memories apparently although he did believe it was also a defence mechanism in case someone was trying to follow her and work out her patterns. She was in constant cop mode.

"It's nice here." Adam tried to break the uneasiness. Kim looked nervous, like it was a first date as she fiddled with her napkin and straightened her cutlery for the third time. "Shall we get a bottle of wine."

"Yes." She reached for the wine list and studied it intently, anything to not have to talk to him or look at him. It didn't stop him watching her curiously though. Even the drive here had been very subdued and at any moment it felt like she was about to change her mind. Once the wine was ordered there was nothing else to do to distract her. "Thank you."

"You are welcome, but I should be thanking you…."

"No, for everything." Only briefly had her eyes met his before staring at the table. "The last few months, I know it's been really tough for you." Kim flipped the knife beside her left hand over and over until Adam placed his hand on hers.

"Honestly Kim, the toughest part is watching you go through all this and not being able to help."

Kim glanced up quickly. "But you have helped, more than you know and I wanted to thank you. It's stupid."

Adam shook his head sadly. "Please don't say that, you've said it before, after the baby, nothing is stupid Kim. Nothing about any of this is stupid."

"I just wanted to say Thank you and I appreciate it, everything. I appreciate you staying when I've given you no reason to stay and if you want to get your own place, or go back to your place I think I am good now."

"No."

"Adam…" Kim sighed.

"No, Kim. I am not leaving you."

She nodded. Even in the darkened restaurant he could see the tears glistening in her eyes. "Okay." She exhaled. "I want to get a new place, there are too many memories in that apartment. Makayla is there, I can hear her and I can't do that anymore." The sob that caught in his throat broke his heart. "I just can't bear it, it hurts too much, all the time."

"Then we will find a new place." Adam sat back and let the waiter pour their wine. He pointed to Kim when he was asked if he wanted to taste it first. It was her choice and he was kinda annoyed that they had even offered it to him first when Kim was the one to order it.

He noticed that she left her hand on the table when he had removed his so as soon as the waiter left he placed his hand over hers again, running his thumb back and forth softly. "We can start looking tomorrow."

"We?"

"Yep." Kim hadn't realised it yet, and it was only just starting to come into focus for him as well but something was brewing and he knew, deep in his gut it was going to throw her back into a dark hole and he wasn't leaving her just yet. He didn't know what, but it was going to rock their world. At this moment it hit hard because he felt like she was starting to stand upright again. The shift was slight, the changes subtle but he could see them and feel them and it made him pause a little knowing that, most likely he was going to be the one to break her again.

"I remember us going out for dinner after the baby because we wanted to make each other smile again." Kim changed the subject a little. "I'd like that again."

Adam leant forward and smiled. "Like all of it?" He winked and smiled and eventually Kim smiled and nodded. "Okay then."

So he made her laugh, and smile and a little of that old Kim came back. No one was ever quite the same, everything that happened to you changed you but one thing that hadn't changed between them, that when they let it they could just be them; easy, comfortable, funny, flirty them.

It wasn't all one way though, once Kim relaxed into it, had a wine or two she made Adam smile too. When she got up to use the bathroom he pulled out his phone quickly, didn't even check the messages, just did what he had to do and put it back in his jacket pocket before she came back. It was one of their rules now when they had dinner together. The phones were off unless they were on call and tonight neither of them were.

They had started it with Mack, when they had her around so that she always got their undivided attention and it was a good thing. Sometimes you just had to switch off.

"I don't want to go home Adam." Kim stopped suddenly when they reached his jeep. She had insisted on paying for dinner as a thank you and had walked close to him on the way out but her hands were jammed in her pockets so as not to give him the opportunity to hold one.

"I know." He opened the door. "We aren't going home."

"How did you know?"

"Because I know you." He had booked a hotel room for the night, spur of the moment and neither of them had any bag packed.

"Just relax, have a bath, wrap yourself up in a bathrobe, climb into bed, do whatever, but there are no memories here." For the first time in a long time Kim leant into him for a hug. She rested her head on his shoulder, tucked up under his chin and it felt familiar and comforting and safe.

Kim decided on a bath and while she was waiting for it to draw Adam ducked out to get them a few things, like toothbrushes and toothpaste. He picked up Kim's favourite chocolate and a cheap t-shirt for her to sleep in.

She was still in the bath when he got back. "You okay in there?" He knocked on the bathroom door.

"Hmmm."

"I've grabbed you a couple of things, I'll leave them just by the door."

"Bring them in. It's not like you haven't seen it all before Adam."

That certainly made him smile. "You look comfortable. Can I get you anything else? Wine? Coffee?" Not that he could see much, the bubbles took care of that but it was nice knowing that she felt safe enough to have him this close.

"No, I'm good."

For a moment he felt awkward as Kim closed her eyes and he stared for a moment. "Right, I'm going to find some shitty movie to watch." He left the door ajar, grabbed a robe for himself and settled onto the huge king size bed with a beer and the remote and as he always did once he stopped he dozed off.

He didn't hear Kim empty the bath and woke with a start when she climbed onto the bed. "Hmmm." He lifted his arm so she could snuggle into his side and rested her head on his chest. "You smell good."

"This has been nice. How can I thank you?" Kim held her breath and listened to him exhale slowly but he didn't move.

Eventually she pulled her head back and looked up at him, he was staring straight back at her. "Can we?"

"Kim…" he sighed. "There was never any expectation. I just wanted to give you one night to not remember."

Kim's hand slid inside his robe and her fingers stroked his stomach. It calmed her chaotic mind as she focussed on her slow movements, Adam's steady breathing and his smooth skin. "That will make me not remember, or maybe remember what we did have once."

"One day we will have it again. It doesn't need to be now." Despite that Adam's hand had already threaded its way through her long dark hair, his fingertips pressed behind her ear, absorbing the warmth and the feeling of completeness he felt when Kim was close to him. She was warm blanket on a cold night, a hot meal after a long shift, a warm fire during a snow storm. She was his home.

But home wasn't quite the same anymore, at least right now but there could be moments and this felt like a moment to savour.

"Can we?" Kim tugged on the belt of his robe. "Please?"

"Anything you want." Adam slid his fingers up her neck and rubbed his thumb back and forth across her cheek. "Only if it's what you want?"

"Don't you?"

"Always, but I know you are hurting, I'm not going to contribute to that. You tell me, at any moment, any single moment to stop and we will."

Kim kissed him softly. "No Adam, tonight I want to stop feeling like I am dead inside."

Adam pulled her back in for another kiss. "Let me fix that." Both his hands were on her face now, holding her steady because he could feel her shaking, so he checked in again, and again until Kim stopped him asking.

The robes had been long discarded and it was legs entwinned, hips pressed together, stomachs rising and falling in unison and hands reaching for and feeling every part of each other. At the moment they were a long way from seeing the love they had for each other but right now they could at least feel it.

"Shhh Adam…" She sucked his bottom lip for just a moment. "… just talk to me like you always have. I'm still me."

"And I love every part of you." It could not have been slower or deeper if they tried and for a few hours every part of them was connected and even though Kim was still curled into his side when she woke the next morning the moment was over and the weight on her chest was back but she appreciated that for those few blissful hours she'd felt almost weightless.

Easing herself out of bed she slipped into the bathroom and got dressed quickly before Adam stirred. He woke when she started making a coffee. "Good Morning." He propped himself up on one elbow and spied her at the counter intently watching the coffee machine do its thing.

"Hi, good morning. I'm making coffee." She rushed out.

"Great." His phone beeped and he rolled over and checked it. Kim watched him read it and throw it back on the side table.

"Work?"

"Nope. Just Kevin, we are supposed to be catching up later."

"Oh. You'll tell him about this?" He didn't miss the slight tenseness in her voice. Last night was clearly over.

Adam grabbed the robe from the floor beside him where it had been dumped last night and had not one ounce of shame as he stood up completely naked in front of her and pulled on the robe. "Nope. All he needs to know is that we had a nice dinner."

"Do you talk about me?" It felt like such a loaded question and he needed to tread carefully. Clearly last night was over, in a bubble and now untouchable but he did really want to believe it was a tiny step back to normalcy.

"Yeah, he's worried about you, like I am. Its more that he checks in to make sure I'm not fucking things up again."

Kim just nodded and handed him his coffee. Pulling the comfy chair up to the window she tucked her feet under her and stared out across the Chicago skyline and said nothing.

"Have I fucked up?" He had to ask and Kim swung her head around quickly.

"What? No." She was adamant. "It's just… Adam it was just…."

He held up his hand. "I know Kim, I'm not asking for anything else. I just want to make sure that you are okay and have no regrets about last night, because I don't, I don't regret it?"

"I am okay." And for the first time in a long time she asked if he was okay too. And he assured her he was. "I don't regret it."

He dropped Kim off at home before meeting up with Kev. They were discovering new dive bars all across town. It was supposed to make it harder for people to figure out they were meeting up regularly but in all honesty they were enjoying finding hidden gems in out of the way places.

Kev already had a beer in front of him and he was staring at it hard when Adam slid into the booth after grabbing his own beer. "What is it?" He just had a feeling he wasn't going to like anything about this conversation.

"How's Kim?" Kevin delayed answering. Knowing what he did and what was about to go down his courage failed him a little. He had gone back and forth about it, perhaps he should bury it like some people clearly wanted but he had made a promise to his best friend that he'd help him give Kim closure. The other thing he was trying to work out was how he felt about it as well, what it meant for him going forward.

Adam assured him she was good and as he promised her he told him that they'd had a nice dinner and that Kim seemed to be a little more like her old self, at least for a few hours.

"This chick we arrested when I was pulling OT on patrol last weekend, she offered me some info to keep her out of it."

"What info?" Adam felt a shiver down his spine.

"A video. She had been asked to delete a video but kept a copy in her cloud for insurance. She's a savvy cookie. Always looking after number 1." Kevin took a mouthful of his beer, his throat suddenly dry and scratchy.

"What's on the video Kevin?"

He couldn't show it right now, he wasn't carrying it on his phone and risking anyone finding it or finding out he had it. He had a USB in his pocket though and it was burning a hole in him. He did have a couple of prints taken from screen shots though and he slid them across the sticky table and all the breath in Adam's lungs disappeared.