A very small section to this chapter may be classed as M rated, but that's the only bit you're going to get, you've been warned.

Joey's P.O.V

I needed to show Lauren how sorry I was. I shut the door and I figured I should explain.

"What for, Joey? Bit of skirt, fun while it lasted, all gone now." She said and I could see the tears prickling in her eyes.

"No, you told me to go, babe. You told me you didn't want to see me." I proclaimed, moving closer to her on the bed.

"Why didn't you fight for it? Why didn't you just come, Joey, you knew I needed you." She said, her head bowed, as the tears began to flow.

"I didn't want to slow your process down. I didn't want you to hate me for being too clingy or not listening to you telling me you didn't want to see me." I told her, taking both of her hands in my own and entwining our fingers. "Please forgive me, baby, you're so special. Not seeing you these past few weeks has killed me."

"I'm sorry" She said and I was puzzled as to what for.

"You got nothing to be sorry for, beautiful" I admitted to her.

I wiped her tears away and pulled her towards me. She sat in my lap and we talked for a little while. Again it ended up in playful banter as if everything was normal again. Lauren's face suddenly turned more serious.

"Make love to me? Show me some normality." She practically begged.

"Are you sure that's what you want, baby?" I asked and she nodded.

I took her lips and gently caressed them with my own slowly. I ran my tongue along her bottom lip begging for access which she shortly granted and allowed our tongues to battle. I rolled us backwards slowly and rested my weight on my elbows as our kiss grew more passionate. I moved down her body and started to assault her neck. Lauren moaned between kisses and sucking of her soft spot and I then moved down further placing open mouthed kissed on her stomach and breasts after our clothes were discarded. We proceeded to form a hot tangled mess within half an hour.

Lauren's P.O.V

After our love making I was so much more confident with mine and Joey's relationship. If you would call it a relationship yet.

"When is your next session?" Joey asked me

"I've finished them. Turns out the last week is just to make sure you're ready again." I smiled at him as he turned on his side to face me. We were still lying down only shortly having redressed.

"Want me to ask if you can come home now?" He asked me, and that is when it hit me, I was going to be home soon. "I can proudly call you mine and living in the same house will make it easy to sneak around" He admitted and I looked at him, slightly bewildered, as he traced the pattern on my top with his index finger.

"I'm not ready for that" I admitted, looking down.

"Why not? As long as we love each other that's all that matters." I gasped at what he was saying.

"What did you just say?" I asked

"I love you" He stated and I burst out crying. How could he love me after I'd told him not to.

"I told you not to fall in love with me." I stated, hitting him in the chest, as I collapsed into my own arms.

"You're better now, babe." He said.

"You have no idea. Go home, Joey, I'll speak to you when I'm out." I whispered.

"I love you, Lauren. You deserve to be loved. If you want me to go, I'll go, but we aren't over. I'll see you at home later on." He said, walking out and leaving me with my own thoughts.

Joey's P.O.V

I made my way back to the square and walked into number five. I shouted hello and got no reply, so I walked upstairs. I stood on the landing thinking for a while. How could she push me away after everything. It would be a bit hypocritical if I were to bring that up after not seeing her for so long and I couldn't blame her. I just don't understand why she doesn't want me to love her.

Knowing she would be home in an hour, I realised that Uncle Max, Oscar and Abi were probably going to pick her up now. I walked into Lauren and Abi's room and sat on Lauren's bed. I found the sheets still smelt of her. I lay down and felt something hard in my back. I knew Lauren was secretive about people going in her room. I took the item from below me and it was a book. It was leather with a small brass lock on the front. I opened the first page, forgetting about privacy, and read the first page. It said 'Our Fight'. I completely forgot about work.

The book was of how Lauren and Tanya coped with her illness, and then when I came across the last entry of the book which was most recently wrote, made me die a little inside. It read...

Dear Diary,

It has been over a month since Mum lost her fight. I think about her all the time and closure is impossible for me to find right now. It's undeniable that I miss her and I still can't help but feel guilty. I feel the reason she didn't get the treatment she needed. I didn't push her to get it. Instead I let my dad take over and slowly watched my mum get weaker and weaker.

I just can't get my head around that in a few months it might be me like that. At least I'll be with my mum. I'm scared for my cancer to take my life. Like mother, like daughter.

I love you, my best friend, who keeps my secrets safe until the day I die.

I'm on my own now, no more double signs as you know,

Lauren x

My beautiful, outgoing, carefree girlfriend, cousin, lover, has cancer.

A/N

Cue the hate. Sorry, it's probably not what any one wanted to see, but it has happened. I'd like your views on this because if I am upsetting anybody or offending anybody in any way I will discontinue posting. Thank you for the reviews so far, if I do happen to have offended someone, I will update you if I decide to discontinue posting X