Kendall's P.O.V.
"Look at the camera baby…come on honey look at daddy!" Logan sighed in defeat and shook his head looking back at me. Or at least I assumed. "Kendall Knight! Camera up! This is our daughters first time riding a bike! Videotape her, not my ass-I mean butt!" The camera rose up and it showed Logan's bright happy young face. He had his hands on his hips, giving me a dirty look.
"What can I say handsome…I love your booty rump." He rolled his eyes turning back out to the street. The camera went back down to his butt and my hand reached out and slapped it, kind of hard but not a big one. "Kendall knight I swear to God I will-"
The screen went black momentarily and popped up again, showing Logan once more. This time he was shirtless, and only in boxers. He was on the edge of the bed, hands folded neatly in his lap, not even looking at the camera. "Stop pouting and smile big for the camera baby."
"I don't want to do this Kendall…I don't feel comfortable doing this." I appeared from behind the camera, only in a pair of black skinny jeans. I kneeled down in front of him and set my hand son his legs, and pushed them up, raising his boxers. His eyes went down to my face and I leaned up kissing him softly. He pushed away fast and put his hands on my face. "What happens if this gets out? We'll be that typical stupid, lame celebrity couple who made a sex tape and then mysteriously has it leaked…please tell me that won't happen…" I shook my head softly and his eye moved up to the camera and looked at it…
I jumped up fast from the couch and hit pause. I moved towards the screen slowly and reached out with my right hand. When I was a foot away from the flat screen and gently touched the face of the man I hadn't seen or touched in real life in almost a week. I let my fingertips move over the face of the only man, only person I have ever loved and smiled small. I couldn't see him in real life for more than a few minutes, before I said something stupid, or he just didn't want to see me at all. I hated this so bad, but I had no way of being to fix it, at all.
I missed everything about him and even though I act like a jackass and I make stupid comments about him and my kids, I would literally do anything to take it all back. I would tell Chris he could marry whoever he wanted whenever he wanted. If only he'd talk to me or see me. I would tell Maggie I was sorry for hurting Logan, because I know the only reason she doesn't want to see me, is because I yelled and fought with Logan on everything. She hates when people fight. She probably hates me. And if I could, I would tell Logan, he was right, about everything. I would get on my knees and beg for his forgiveness. I would do anything. Anything.
If the hard knocks form my front door hadn't snapped me out of my trance staring at Logan's face, I would have stayed there all night. But knocks didn't stop, and they seemed to get louder. I frowned throwing the remote on my couch and walked to the front door, swaying slightly. When I pulled the door open, I yawned closing my eyes leaning against the door. "Yeah?"
"Well, well, well…this is absolutely fucking pathetic." I forced my eyes open fast and felt my mouth drop open seeing James standing in front of me. "Your son told me you were going through a phase were you uhm…how do I put this delicately…are being a complete asshole!" I started to shove the door closed but he steppe din, grabbing the edge and forcing it open. "It's one thing to divorce Logan and break his fucking heart, but it's another to fuck up your kids life. It's a new fucking low for you, you piece of shit!" He shoved me back hard by my shoulder and I hit the wall behind me hard. "How could you be so stupid man? You had the best life with the best guy as your husband and the best kids anyone could ask for! You threw all of it away, and for what?! Because you can't be wrong about anything right?!"
"I know James! I'm a dirt bag and a terrible father! What do you want form me?!" He stepped back a little breathing out hard. "Do you know what kind of personal hell I've been going through? Sitting in this stupid house day in and day out all by myself. Do you think that's fun for me? DO think I enjoy knowing two of my kids hate me? Do you honestly believe this is easy for me…to know how bad I fucked up and how I can't change any of it?!" I stopped, breathing fast and hard and felt the beers and Vodka slowly turning in my stomach making me queasy. I rubbed my head softly and put my head down closing my eyes. "Why aren't you with Logan? I would have thought with him being free on the market now…you'd be tearing down his door." I pushed off the wall and turned walking back into my small messy, dark living room. I huffed out hard, falling on the couch and closing my eyes. I heard the door shut from the front and laid down quick, tucking my legs up to my chest.
"Back to the good old days of being a bachelor huh?" I opened my eyes slowly and stayed laying down seeing James being down and grabbing the empty bottle of Vodka and a few of the empty beer bottles. He stood back up and walked out of the living room. I heard him toss the glass bottles into garbage can and rolled my eyes looking up at the TV screen. It was still paused on Logan's face, again, reminding me of what I lost and what I could never have back. When James walked back out, he moved quick to my feet on the couch and lifted them, and plopped down on the seat, setting my feet on his lap. "What are we watching?" I closed my eyes again trying to block him out and trying to hold down my liquor. "Dude…I'm really sorry about everything. I didn't know you two could ever separate. All those God damn years on the road with you two fucking and sucking dick on the bus…you couldn't have done it then?" I opened my eyes smiling and turned my head slightly to look at him. "I tried to call him, go see you guys at the old house but…everyone was gone, and he just let his phone ring off the hook. Finally I called Chris and he told me everything that happened. He wasn't quite sure however, the real reason for the divorce but he said it has something to do with him." He turned to me eyebrows raised and I sighed out softly pushing myself up and sitting on my butt crossing my legs, facing him. We were pretty close but he didn't seem to mind. Honestly I don't know how he could. I smelled like a distillery.
"It started off with Chris and Rose and their baby…I couldn't believe he would give up college and football for her and a baby. It just wasn't…logical to me ya know? And when I voiced that opinion to Logan, shit hit the fan. And everything else started coming up. The way he shut himself out of the kids life and mine when I had cancer, uhm…I don't know. In the back of my head I always was worried he was going to cheat again. Like every guy we walked past he was fucking them behind my back." He turned his head away from me and leaned back in the seat looking down at his legs. "Everything reached the boiling point James. We just turned quick, and in less than a week we started hating each other. Screaming about the little shit. It got so bad we couldn't even look at each other…breathe the same air. We both decided it would be best not just for us but the kids. Keeping them up at night with our fights. It wasn't fair." He nodded slowly and I shrugged feeling my body swaying again and raised my hand holding my head up with it.
"You know…I think it's probably best I didn't go see Logan. It looks like you need a friend more than anything. Where are the kids?" I laughed loudly and steadied my breathing feeling my eyes water up.
"Well Chris moved out, to his own place with Rose…uhm Maggie doesn't want to see me so the Judge allowed Logan full custody and my two little ones I only se eon the weekends, From 5 on Friday to 7 on Sunday. It's a real great life bro…" I felt a sob rip out of my throat as one of my famous cry sessions began again.
Except this time, I wasn't alone, with a bottle of Jack. This time two strong big hands grabbed my shoulders and pulled me on his lap. He held around me tight and whispered things, sweet things in my ear, to calm me down. It didn't work because it wasn't Logan, and I wasn't able to hold my kids the way I wanted. But just the physical contact from someone else beside myself, was a little overwhelming. I couldn't help but clutch onto his jacket still on his body. I tried to get my head clear and on straight, but him just being there for me, turned on my senses, completely. I pushed away from his neck, which he had pulled me into. He gave a small smile and gently patted my back, still around me. I don't know why, but I held his face softly leaned down. "Kendall what are you…" I cut him off pressing my lips into his just softly at first. I was expecting him to push me off and away, but he didn't. He did the exact opposite. He pulled me in hard and fast and kissed me back with passion. His hands found my lower back and pulled me in closer to him. Nothing was going to make sense after this kiss, and I didn't know what was going to happen after the kiss but because of the amount of alcohol I've had and where my head and my heart where at the time, I was really wishing it lead to something more. And then it did.
We fumbled standing up, still kissing and trying to tare each other's clothes off. We stumbled down the short distance of the hallway to my bedroom and by the time we did get in it, our shirts were off, and he was already starting to pull my pants down. When I fell back on the bed, I kept my eyes closed and took in a labored breath rubbing my hands over my head and down on my face. My pants were forced down, off my body and I heard them get tossed to the side. I opened my eyes slowly and watched James push his pants and boxers down at the same time and I felt my boxers start to tighten up. He was big…and I don't even think he's fully erect. "Fucking…Jesus Christ James." He chuckled, reaching down under my legs and lifting them up setting my ankles on my shoulders.
"Are you sure about this Kendall?" I closed my eyes sighing out softly and helped him push my boxers down. He lifted my legs and quickly pulled the fabric off and tossed them to the ground as well.
"Don't make me think James." I didn't have to see him or hear his response to know what he was going to do. I felt a small poke at my entrance and tensed up, arching my back, moaning softly. It wasn't Logan, and I couldn't see my kids for another two days but for the time being, James was a good way to distract me form all of it.