Chapter 35
(Gale POV)
"You were listening out here the whole time?" She asks after our kiss breaks.
"Not the whole time, but a lot. Didn't want to come in and interrupt you." I confess. She doesn't look as if it bothered her that I was listening but I still feel like I may have intruded. "Sorry. My original intention wasn't eavesdropping, I promise."
"It's okay. I don't mind that you heard me." She says, shaking her head and smiling a little.
"You know, to hear you tell it your way, you'd think I hung the moon." I tease as I smile down at her. Her face is splotchy from crying but there's a smile on her lips.
"Well didn't you?" She replies coyly, raising an eyebrow.
It's almost more than I can stand and I grab at her hips and pull her to me, leaning down to kiss her and temporarily forgetting about my very recent surgery and still very sore body. My body remembers though. There's a split second where all the air goes out of me and I feel a quick stab of pain shoot through my abdomen and I freeze, unable to move for a minute.
"Are you alright? Gale?" Madge asks in alarm, pulling back and studying my face.
I feel the pain start to subside and let myself breathe again. I shake my head at her. "Keep forgetting about that damn surgery. I'm fine. Just moved a little too abruptly there for a minute."
"Do we need to go see the medic?" She asks me, concern still evident all over her face.
"No, no. It's fine. I'm just supposed to be taking it easy and I got too excited." I explain as I run my hands up from her hips and hold her waist instead. "Really it's all your fault. You and your damn flirtatious comments. Making grown men forget they just had major surgery and all." I add teasingly.
She shoots me a look but it's a teasing one and she can't hide her laughter. "Well, Perhaps you should go on up to bed and get some rest. I'm going to go find out where my father's at; he must have arrived by now."
Her father. Right. There's a problem with that. "Um, I don't think he's back yet. Before I came here, I was in the Communications Bay and Katniss told me he wasn't back yet. Said she come tell us just as soon as she had any new information."
"Something's wrong isn't it? That's why he isn't back yet?"
"Not sure what any of the details are. I left before anyone had the time to fill me in. I was just trying to track you down because I hadn't seen you all day."
"Sorry about that. I found out my mother was on her way back and suddenly she was all I could focus on." Madge explains apologetically.
"It's okay. I'd have been the same way."
"Can we go over to Defense and see what they'll tell me about my father and Mabel? If you feel up to it, that is."
I'm exhausted and dying to lay down but I ignore that and nod at her. "Come on. Maybe they have some good news waiting for us." I tell her optimistically.
She doesn't reply but walks alongside me back over to Defense. Right as we're walking up on the Communications Bay, out comes Peeta, Katniss and Haymitch. None of them looking all that great.
"Hi, um, I just wanted to check and see if there was any news on my father and Mabel's return?" Madge asks them, voice fighting not to quiver.
"Let's take it in my office." Haymitch says gruffly.
We follow behind him and Katniss does too. I notice Peeta leaves though. Guess his part is all finished down here. In Haymitch's office, Madge and I sit down across from him and Katniss leans rolls her wheelchair over next to me.
"So here's the situation. Mabel is on her way back, probably going through processing as we speak. Your father, well, he isn't coming."
"Not coming?" Madge squeaks out.
"No."
My heart sinks for Madge and I squeeze her hand a little tighter. With tears in her eyes she waits for Haymitch to continue. To give her an explanation.
Katniss speaks first. " You see Madge, there was a complication with his part of the mission. One we couldn't have anticipated. President Snow didn't follow normal procedures when he found your father appearing to be dead in his cell. Normally, his body would be removed and sent for autopsy and then destroyed. That was the procedure that had always been followed." She pauses and looks at Madge who now has silent tears gliding down her cheeks.
"Well, this time, President Snow had a different protocol. One he decided on his own. He didn't send the body out for autopsy like he should've, like we'd expected. Instead, he kept it with him and used it to film a message." She continues to explain.
"He what?" I ask in horror.
Katniss's eyes shift to me and I shut my mouth. From the look on her face, this is hard enough for her to tell Madge without having me here interrupting her.
"He filmed a message to all of Panem and made it look as if he was the reason your father was now deceased. Used it to warn everyone of what would come from going against the Capitol."
"Well, it's still okay then. We'll just slip him another pill and try again. They have to transfer his body at some point." Madge offers up in suggestion.
Katniss shakes her head. "We can't do that. Not this time. He…he's gone Madge. Your father really passed away today."
"I don't understand." She chokes out.
"When Snow filmed that message, he had, well, his care of the body, it wasn't…he…" She tries to explain and finally looks over to Haymitch for help since she can't find the words.
"Snow hung your father's body up by a noose in the video. It killed him." Haymitch says.
Madge gasps and then begins to hyperventilate a little. I fight back my own tears and reach over, rubbing her back.
"If it helps at all, he wouldn't have felt a thing. It would've been completely painless for him in those last moments. The pill he'd taken would've blocked any pain at all." Katniss offers and I notice tears in her own eyes. She's seen the video. I can see it on her face. And no way in hell is Madge gonna be allowed to watch that video.
"But are you certain? Are you absolutely certain? It's not some trick or some mistake?" Madge asks amidst her tears.
"We're certain." Katniss says quietly. "I'm so terribly sorry, Madge."
"Thank you for your efforts. It means a lot to me that you were able to even attempt to rescue him. And thank you for safely bringing my mother and Mabel here." Madge says sounding very much like illusion Madge. The one that puts on a brave face and fakes it even when she's falling apart. She stands to leave and I follow behind her.
As we exit, I glance back at Haymitch and see him pouring another round of liquor into his mug. Katniss is rubbing her temples and her eyes are closed. This mission was difficult for the both of them and in their own way, I know they're feeling the loss of Mayor Undersee. But Madge, she's feeling it on a whole new level. One that Katniss and I are both familiar with ourselves.
We walk back to our unit in silence. Madge fights the tears until we get inside the door and then the floodgates break, tears pouring down, sobs echoing out as she buries her face in the pillow. I sit on the bed next to her and simply run my fingers through her hair, letting her cry it out. Occasionally, I make quiet shushing sounds, trying to soothe her pain. I know all too well though that nothing I can say or do in this moment will take away the pain her heart feels right now.
(Madge POV)
I hesitate outside her door. Mabel's door. I want to talk to her but my nerves are unsettled. I haven't seen her since that day in the courts and even then, I wasn't allowed to speak to her. Only saw her as she sat there on trial. And I need to let her know about my father. To let her know that he didn't survive the rescue attempt. I'm not even sure I'll be able to find the words. My own heart still aches so badly. Last night, I'd cried nearly the whole night through. Gale stay awake all night. Gently rubbing my back, my hair, trying to patiently comfort me any way he could. When I left this morning to come find Mabel, he'd offered to come with me but I knew I needed to do this on my own and I also knew he needed to get some rest. He hasn't even been home from the Medical Center for a full day yet and he's supposed to be taking it easy. He'd fought me on it a little but ultimately I think he knew I wanted to do this on my own and he respected that.
But now, I find myself out here, desperately trying to summon up courage. Talking to my mother had been easier. She's in a catatonic state as the medic called it and unable to respond. They honestly aren't able to even confirm if she can hear and understand what I was saying to her. It made it easier to really pour out my heart that way. Mabel however, isn't in a catatonic state. She's just fine. With her, the conversation will be harder because it won't be so one sided.
I take a deep breath and knock on the door. When it opens, my breath catches a bit in my throat at the sight of Mabel. She looks as if she's aged 20 years since I saw her last. Her hair is thinner, graying. Her cheeks and collarbones sunken in from the dramatic weight loss she suffered while imprisoned. Her eyes look weary and tired.
"Miss Madge!" She says, throwing her arms around me as soon as she sees me.
"Welcome to 13." I tell her, tears threatening to spill from my eyes as I hug her back.
"Come in, come in. Sit and let me have a look at you!" She exclaims as she takes my hand and leads me into her tiny room.
"How are you? Are you getting settled in alright?" I ask as we sit down on the bed.
"I'm fine. Just fine. I know I look plain frightening though, but I just need to gain a little weight back and I'll be good as new." She tells me waving herself off as if she doesn't matter, as if this is all about me. Her hand reaches up and I feel her fingers run over my facial scars. "Oh dear, what on earth happened here?"
"Just a little remnant of my time in the games is all." I say with a sigh.
"You were injured?"
"Yes and no. This wasn't from a fight with another tribute. It was an encounter with some Capitol creature creation. I actually didn't have to kill anyone while I was in there."
"I'm so glad to hear that! I knew you'd been rescued from the arena but I didn't know anything of your time in the games or what transpired thereafter. All I knew was you vanished out of that arena and not a soul had heard from you since. I was so worried."
"I've been here in 13 the whole time. Me and all the other tributes rescued from the arena. And our families too. All the Hawthornes are here, I know Hazelle will be glad to see you again."
"Madge honey, I'm so terribly sorry that you had to be dragged into the whole court mess with your father and I. Neither of us had any idea they would bring you into it. I know that was difficult but I'm proud of you and how you handled yourself on the stand that day."
"It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do."
"Your father hated seeing you on that stand. Nearly broke his heart but he was so very proud of how you handled yourself. Have you been able to see him yet? Is he in good health? No one would tell me a thing last night when I got here."
"Mabel, about my father…" I begin as I take a deep breath in. "there was a complication in rescuing him yesterday and he didn't survive. He won't be coming here to 13." My voice cracks and I fight to hold back the tears I know are coming.
Her hand goes up to cover her mouth and tears brim in her eyes. "Oh honey!"
I let my tears fall and we fall into an embrace, both of us mourning the loss of part of our family. Mabel may not be a blood relative and she's still family. She's been a part of my family practically all my life. News of my father's death hurts her in nearly the same way that it hurts me. We stay like this, clinging to one another as we cry, for quite some time. We cry until our tears run dry but even that doesn't heal the pain.
"And your mother? What do you know of her?" Mabel asks fearfully.
"She's here. Arrived a little before you did yesterday. I saw her last night."
"And how is she?"
I shake my head. "She's alive but in what they call a catatonic state. Her eyes are open but glossed over and she doesn't move or speak. The medics aren't certain if she can even hear us speaking to her or if she's aware of what's going on."
She looks down at her lap, almost as if she's hanging her head in shame. "I'm so sorry, Miss Madge. I can't tell you enough how sorry I am."
"Long since forgiven. I do think you should go and see her yourself though. Apologize to her on your own."
"I agree. And I will."
"I think you'll like it here in 13. There's lots of equality here, no social divisions."
"I was flipping through the handbook when you arrived. I have orientation in a little while. Actually, I hate to go but I'm afraid I'll be late otherwise." She says as she glances at the clock on the wall.
"Of course. Come on, I'll walk you over to orientation. This place can be a little confusing at first. The tour they give you today will help everything make more sense." I say as I pull myself to my feet.
I walk her down to where they hold orientation and along the way I show her the stairs as an alternative to waiting in line for the elevators during peak times of the day. Once she's in orientation, I swing by the cafeteria to see if I can grab an apple or something since I missed the scheduled breakfast time.
I find an empty cafeteria but I know there's probably still someone on back in the kitchen so I go and poke my head in back there.
"Hello, anyone here?" I call out.
"Madge?" I hear from way in the back and then I see Tripp coming around a corner, wiping his hands on a dish towel.
"Oh, hi Tripp! What are you doing here, I thought you worked dinner shift now?"
"I do. But Marah wasn't feeling well this morning so we traded shifts. Between you and me though, I think she's faking just so she can sleep in. She hates mornings." He explains jokingly.
"I see. Well, I'm glad you're here. I missed breakfast this morning and I was hoping I could grab an apple or something to go?"
"I can do you one better than that. How about I cook you something instead? If you have time, that is?"
"Won't you get in trouble?" I ask in a low voice.
"Nah, I'm the only one still here. Supervisor's gone and everything. We've got at least an hour before anyone arrives to start prepping , I didn't eat breakfast yet myself"
"Well, it is tempting…" I say as I bite my lip. My stomach growls audibly and I instinctively place my hand over my stomach. "I, um, sort of missed dinner last night too."
"It's decided then. Come on." He says, taking my elbow and pulling me towards the prep area of the kitchen. "So what'll it be? Eggs and toast? French toast? Bland oatmeal with raisins?
I laugh. "French toast would be great if it isn't too much trouble."
"French toast it is. Wanna help?"
"I don't know. It's been awhile since I cooked."
"Then you're long over due. Here." He says as he hands me an apron.
I take it and tie it around my waist.
"Here, whisk these eggs while I get some vanilla and cinnamon." He says as he hands me a bowl will a few eggs in it and a whisk. I get to work on the eggs. I have to admit, this feels pretty good. Cooking again. I'd forgotten just how much I liked it.
"That should be good." He says as he takes the bowl and puts it on the counter.
"Now what?"
"Now we add the stuff that makes it taste so good. A dash of vanilla, a little cinnamon and a splash of milk. And now you whisk again."
"I forgot how much I missed this you know."
"Hanging out with me or the cooking?"
"I was referring to the cooking but now that you mention it, probably both."
"Well, this is fun for me too. I don't get to cook just anything I want anymore. And I've certainly missed your company as well."
"So how do you like it here in 13? Do you wish you were still back in 12?" I ask, making conversation as we dip slices of bread into the egg mixture.
"Overall, I'd say I like it. It's easy here. Not much to worry about. Miss my friends. Not too many of them made it here in the final 12 rescue. And I miss the café a lot. Kinda always thought it'd be mine one day, you know? What about you?"
"I know what you mean. I miss certain things but I'm happier here because I'm safe. Nothing like safety."
"Hey, what happened to you yesterday? Gale was by here looking for you, said he hadn't seen you all day." He asks as he flips the bread in the skillet.
"I was with my mother. They brought her here yesterday. Mabel too."
"Madge that's fantastic!"
I nod as I swallow back tears.
"It is fantastic isn't it?"
"I'm beyond thrilled to see my mother again. She's very sick but it's good to know she's here where caring medics and doctors will take care of her. And Mabel's fine. Underweight and weak but overall in good health."
"Then what's wrong? You don't seem as happy as I thought you'd be." He asks studying me questioningly.
"My…my father passed away. They were trying to bring him here too and it didn't work out."
"Oh Madge!" He says as he puts down the spatula he's holding and hugs me. It's a brief hug. Comforting, friendly.
"Thanks. If it's all the same to you, I'd really rather not talk about it. I've cried about all the tears I can handle right now and was kind of enjoying the distraction of cooking."
"Well then cook we shall. Here, you keep flipping this every minute or so and I'll be right back." He says as he shoves the spatula in my hand.
"Where are you going?" I ask.
"You just focus on not burning that toast." He calls back as he disappears into a cooler.
When he comes back he has cream and sugar and more vanilla. He begins to whisk it in a bowl and it's then that I realize he's making whipped cream. My mouth literally waters.
"I think this toast is finished." I tell him.
"Clean plates are over there. Forks too." He says as he jerks his head to the side.
I retrieve the forks and plates and come back over and flip two slices on each of the plates. When I'm finished, he sprinkles them with powdered sugar and then adds a dollop of the whipped cream to each stack.
"I hate to break it to you but we don't have any strawberries. I checked the cooler but the only fruits we have right now are apples and oranges, neither of which make for good French toast toppings." He says as he hands me my plate.
"No, this is perfect."
"Wanna go sit at a table or eat back here?"
"Here's good." I tell him as I hop up on the counter. I shovel a forkful into my mouth and close my eyes, savoring the sweetness of it. "Tripp, this is hands down, the best breakfast I have ever had. Seriously, it's out of this world!"
He laughs. "Well, I didn't cook it by myself. You oughta give yourself some of that credit."
We laugh a little, chat a little and enjoy our breakfast. I'm glad Tripp is here in 13. Glad the two of us are able to be friends. For just a little while, I manage to ignore the grief and sadness of my father's death. When we're finished, I help him wash up the dishes then head back home to check on Gale. I grab an apple on my way out just in case he's hungry. I know he didn't have dinner or breakfast either but I also know he hasn't much of an appetite right now so he might not even want it but I bring it just in case. Hopefully, he's rested some.
I find him sleeping soundly and just the sight of him resting so peacefully makes me want to take a nap as well. I quietly slip off my shoes and pants and climb under the covers. I nuzzle up next to him, being mindful not to hurt the side where he still has stitches. I'm just about asleep when I feel his hand begin to run up and down my back, down over the curve of my hips.
"You are supposed to be resting." I whisper to him.
"I was resting. But now I'm not. Right now, I just want you." He whispers back as I feel his lips graze over my ear and down onto my jaw.
"Mmmm." Is all I manage to utter as his hands find my thighs and lips find my neck. I move to unfasten his pants and then regain my mind a bit. He isn't well enough yet to be doing this.
"Gale, we can't do this. Not yet. You could reinjure yourself." I tell him as I gently pull back.
He groans. "Seriously?"
"Fraid so." I tell him.
"Madge, it's fine, I'm fine."
I put my hand on his chest and look up at him. "No, not yet. We can't risk it. When the stitches come out, we'll pick this up where we left off. For now, you rest."
"Fine." He pouts, laying back on the pillows. I notice his bag of medicines on the night table and it occurs to me that he likely hasn't bothered to take them.
"Have you taken your medicines yet today?" I ask, reaching over him to grab the bag.
"Don't need em. Not in any pain."
"This one has to be taken even if you aren't in pain. It's different." I remind him as I hold up the bottle of pills that are supposed to help fight off infections.
"You planning on babying me through this whole recovery?" He grumbles as he takes the pills I hold out for him.
"I think I'm going to have too." I tease as I hand him the apple to eat with his medicine. He takes it and gives me a pouty scowl. I give him a kiss on the forehead in response and from that, a smile sneaks out from behind his pout, unable to keep hidden. He leans forward, stealing another kiss. It's only seconds before I feel it deepen and have to pull away again.
"Rest up my love, we've got our whole lives for that." I tell him as I tap my fingertip against his lips. And I mean it. We really do have our whole lives ahead of us. A whole future waiting for us to experience it.
A/N: Thanks so much to all of you for patiently waiting for this chapter to post while I was on vacation! I should have the next and final (Gasp!)chapter posted in the next day or so!