A/N: Sorry that I haven't been posting lately. The only inspiration that I have had has been for one shots and only one of them even got written. It's the end of the semester and I'm sure once graduation is over here at Norwich (a small military college in VT) everything will go a lot smoother. There are some possible spoilers in this chapter since this is kinda sorta set in this season. Sorry if you haven't got that far. I really hope you guys will review and let me know if you even like this. Thanks
Chapter 4 - What now?
They were all just sitting there. What was there to do next? How where they gonna get Kevin back, how was he gonna complete the trials without him, was this related to Shawna's dream, was there more to the story between Benny and Dean, how where they gonna get Benny back and should they; Sam's mind was going a million miles an hour and Dean sulking wasn't helping him any.
They had just finished telling Shawna what all had happened. Dean being an ass as usual had made her wait in some hole in the wall motel somewhere in Maine the entire time he was getting Bobby out of hell. Hadn't even told her anything about Benny until it was all over and he had to leave. Now, in a motel somewhere, they had just told her everything that had happened while they were gone and some history of what Kevin was doing and waiting for her reaction.
"Whatever my feelings about vampires, angles table trials, and of course Crowley; what's done is done and I'm glad you're both safe for now. My only question is what now?" Shawna finally broke her silence and it wasn't at all what Sam had expected. He had assumed she would have reacted more like what he had the first time he found out about Benny.
"I don't know." Sam said. Dean still hadn't said anything. Once his part of the story was done he went back to his own thoughts, clamming up just like he had done after their conversation in the car about leaving the door open for Benny. Sam was worried. "We need to find Kevin, and we need to figure out when and where your dream takes place, but I don't know how to do either."
"We need to go somewhere so you can research. I say we go back to the bunker." Dean chipped in. Sam was just relieved to hear his voice.
"Yeah, Dean that sounds good for a start."
"Bunker?" Shawna said with a confused look on her face.
Sam went in to the speech about how their father's father was a man of letters and their mother's father had been a hunter, what the men of letters had been and how they usually felt about hunters, the tragedy that caused Henry to not be in John's life, him coming to the future and them getting the bunker. She looked not only surprised but a little impressed at that.
"Okay, let's go see what some dead men's books can tell us about finding a prophet."
They had just settled Shawna in a room near Sam. She was unpacking and Sam took the opportunity to talk to Dean. He hurriedly put his clothes and other belongings where they belonged in the room that should have been his and snuck down the hallway to the room that Shawna was told was Dean's room. Normally if they where here they would be sharing that room and that bed but for appearance's sake that wouldn't be the case this time.
'Knock, knock' Sam lightly tapped on the wood, not wanting to startle Dean. "Dean?"
"Yeah Sammy?" Dean was lying on his bed as Sam slipped in and shut the door behind him.
"Can we talk?"
"Oh my God, Sammy what is there to talk about? I'm not in the mood for sharing and caring now and there isn't anything you can do to fix this mess. We just need to find Kevin and then I'll be alright."
"That is bull Dean, and you know it as well as I do. This is about Benny and I wish you would talk to me. I don't want you to blame yourself for him not coming back. I feel guilty enough for both of us for not making him come with me."
"Sam, this is not your fault." Dean's eyes softened when he heard his baby brother admit his own feelings of guilt. Sam was right; he did feel bad for asking Benny to go back there. But he had really though Benny would come back. "I asked him for that favor. I thought he would really come back and then I would finally be able to make-up for turning my back on him like I did. But said yourself he didn't even want to come back, and I knew he felt that way before I pulled a machete through his neck. I miss him and I feel bad knowing he is back in monster hell for us, but you're my brother and I will never feel guilty for trying to protect you. I love you Sammy." That last part was said as a whisper because he had realized that he was yelling before it, and more importantly that this was the first time they had said that since getting back together; since Sam gave up Amelia and he had given up Benny. So much for not sharing and caring right?
Sam had tears in his eyes and Dean was looking anywhere but at his eyes. Sam walked slowly towards him. "I love you too Dean." Dean was pulled into a crushing hug, he laughed because Sam never could remember his own strength when he was happy. At hearing this Sam let up a little but kept his arms around Dean's back, Dean relaxed into Sam's chest.
"I still have some questions but I'm glad you've decided to talk to me so I won't push for now."
"Questions about what; I'm pretty sure we just covered it all in my little monologue."
"I don't want to upset you again." Avoidance, but still the truth, a somewhat reasonable tactic.
"Sammy I'm not a girl. With you it's either questions now or later and I choose now so if later comes you shit out of luck for answers, you hear?"
Sam released him reluctantly and sat him on the bed.
"They're questions about your relationship with Benny."
Dean froze on the inside while trying to look normal. How was Sammy clueing in on this, there was no way he had been that transparent, and it was all in the past anyway so how had he been clued in? Nothing like that had happened since they got out. He had told Benny about him and Sam right before they got out; told him he was going back to Sam if Sam still wanted him. They had agreed to be as close as brothers. It wasn't how it worked out though and now apparently Sam knew. Dean wasn't ready for that; would Sam be mad, disgusted, would he leave Dean? Dean was scared but if Sammy was asking what he thought he still wouldn't lie to him, he would never lie to him again after that thing with Amelia.
"What do you mean Sam?"
"Where you two together, like we are, while you were in Purgatory?"
"Yes…" he said it in a whisper while thinking this is the end.
"Okay. I knew there was more to it when you clammed up after the talk in the car." Sam says like he had read Dean's mind. "How far did it go and when did it stop?"
"All the way; after he found me and I really got to trust him it just sorta happened. We were hiding at night in a cave, talking around the fire. I kissed him and that was it at first. By the time Cas showed back up we had just slept together for the first and only time. I told him about you and me that night: told him if we made it out of there that I wanted to go back to you if you'd have me. He said he understood and loved me anyway. He said he would always have my back, and he would always want to call me brother." Dean was in tears by this point. "He just wanted me to be happy even if it couldn't be with him… I understand if you don't want me anymore Sammy, just please still call me brother?"
Dean was sobbing, Sam was lucky he understood that last part but that only made his heart hurt for Dean even more. After seeing Benny's sacrifice for Dean, how could Dean think Sam would begrudge him this? He pulled Dean into his arms once more.
"Dean it's okay. Shhh, Shhh. I understand, I'm not disgusted, I still love you and I would never not call you my brother. I love you so much De."
Sam laid them both down on the bed. He pulled Dean's head to his chest and waited for him to calm down. Slowly his breathing returned to normal and he relaxed into Sam's warmth. Sam tilted his chin up and kissed him softly on the lips.
"I really do love you Dean. No matter what you do, what differences we have, no matter how mad we are, I will always love you."
"Me too Sammy. Will you just lay here with me for a little while?"
"Yeah Dean, but soon I need to get to work and you should cook dinner."
All he got in response was a growl of displeasure in which chuckled and kissed Dean's temple in response to. They still had things to discuss but Sam knew they would be okay for now.
Shawna couldn't believe her eyes or ears. At first she was just looking for the guys so she could ask if they wanted her to cook dinner. The door was cracked and she could hear a heated monologue so she decided to wait for a good opening. But when she actually listened to what was being said she couldn't help but eaves drop.
"They're questions about your relationship with Benny."
"What do you mean Sam?"
"Where you two together, like we are, while you were in Purgatory?"
"Yes…" he said it in a whisper while thinking this is the end.
That was a weird way to talk about your brother. And Dean's behavior had been strange, almost like mourning a lover, when he got back to their motel room. She decided to listen more.
"All the way; after he found me and I really got to trust him it just sorta happened. We were hiding at night in a cave, talking around the fire. I kissed him and that was it at first. By the time Cas showed back up we had just slept together for the first and only time..."
God that thought was hot. Both of the Winchesters, naked and sweaty; it sent tingles down her spine. And this Benny character seemed pretty chill for a vamp, plus the purgatory thing…, she can't really blame Dean for wanting someone, she just hoped he was hot too.
For now she had heard enough. And they were clearly mourning so she would give them some time, but she was trying to save them and she thought that she deserved a little something for her troubles. Hopefully they were both bi and not straight up gay…
She walked towards the kitchen with a smile, thinking up a plan.
A/N: How many of you would be thinking the same thing, huh? Review please; be kind but truthful with your wording: rudeness will not get either of us anywhere. And if you have ideas about where to take this next I would be glad to hear them.