Rating: M

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight - I just like to get weird with her characters.

A/N…Much love and thanks to my beta LovinRob for all of her encouragement and hard work on this story! Without her OCD and her cock/pussy thesaurus, this fic would be a hot mess of past and present tense and the word erection used repeatedly…

Many thanks to AmandaC3 for creating the marvelous banner for this story and the Togaward bonus banner. I wouldn't believe it was possible – but she made Rob hotter by wrapping him in pink bed sheets…

This chapter will separate the h00rs from the hussies. Hope you are still with me after this one - gross out warning...

Chapter 12 – Hit Me With Your Best Shot

I wake up relatively early the next morning to an empty bed. Still somewhat groggy from my deep sleep, I'm not sure how to feel about Edward leaving without saying good-bye. Then I remember I went to sleep with wet hair. Between the Medusa coif and my morning breath, I guess I should be thankful that I don't have to face his awkward goodbye.

I lay there for a few minutes with the cheekiest smile on my face. I am Edward's girl – officially. Well, not Facebook official yet, but I am sure we'll get there. A text comes through on my iPhone and I eagerly whip the covers off my naked body to roll over and grab it from the desk. On all fours, stretching to reach it, I hear the door open behind me.

"That's an interesting sleep position, Swan." Teases a very sexy, husky, masculine voice that I am praying somehow belongs to Tanya after a night of drinking.

I look behind me to confirm that it is indeed Edward who has walked in on the 2 Live Crew "Face Down, Ass Up" video shoot and with two steaming coffee cups, no less. Could he be more perfect? I grab my phone and then scurry under the covers to conceal my embarrassment.

"I thought you left." I admit from beneath the sheets.

"Fat chance, Swan. That was one of the best night sleep I've had in ages." He replies, locking the door behind him, before putting the coffee down on the nightstand next to me. "I thought you'd like some hot chocolate."

I peek out from under the covers, watching him remove his jacket and shoes. He smiles widely when he realizes I am peeking at him. He proceeds to take off his shirt and starts removing his jeans like he did before we got into bed last night.

My iPhone text reminder sounds again as he hands me my drink, slipping under the sheets with me. Looking down at my phone, I notice the text is from Mike.

B- Dad got the results back – prostate cancer – stage 3. Going home for the weekend – didn't know if you planned to see the Chief – could give you a ride. – M

I sit up in bed and audibly whimper. I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. I reread the text over and over again, as tears begin to well in my eyes.

"Bella. You okay? What happened? What's wrong?" Edward asks soothingly, rubbing small circles on my lower back.

I hand him my phone to read for himself, putting it into words makes it real and I'm not ready for that. I hear Edward blow out a breath behind me. Waiting for him to reassure me that Mike Sr. will be okay, his silence is deafening.

"What does that mean for him? Uh, stage 3?" I ask, my voice shaking.

Edward clears his throat. "I think it means that the cancer may have spread to lymph nodes, possibly bones or organs."

I nod and swallow thickly. "Do you think…? Is this a death sentence?" I whisper, glancing at him over my shoulder causing a tear to fall down my arm.

He seems at a loss for words, I can tell he is looking for a bright side, without giving me false hope.

"There are a lot of factors that can contribute to the patient's survival. They need to get him to a good, aggressive oncologist." He answers detachedly, something I am sure will come in handy throughout his eventual residency and career.

I nod slowly and take a sip of my hot chocolate.

"You know, I could get him a referral from my dad. He is friends with a couple of the best oncologists in Washington. I could have him pull some strings, or something." He offers.

I can't conceal my smile as I straddle his lap. "You'd do that?" I ask excitedly.

He smiles back, "Absolutely."

I give him a big wet kiss on his forehead before hopping off his lap. "I am going to call Mike's mom real quick. I am sure she will appreciate your offer." I explain as I dial her number.

It rings twice before she answers, for the first time ever I can't hear the smile that is usually present in her voice.

"Karen, its Bella."

"Bella, how are you, sweet girl?" She asks kindly.

"I'm doing well. Mike sent me a text about Mike Sr. I'm so worried; I wanted to give you guys a call."

"We are doing as well as can be expected, you know. We are just going to do what the doctor says and pray for the best." She replies, her voice trembling slightly.

My heart is breaking for her. "Well, my…" I pause, not wanting to flaunt my new relationship in her and her families face, "Edward, his dad is the Chief of Staff at Seattle Children's Hospital. If you'd like, he said that he can pull some strings to get Senior in to see one of the top oncologists in Washington. Not that you wouldn't receive excellent care in Forks, I just thought, well I thought you would want to know that you have options, you know?"

Karen blows out a deep breath, "Bella that would be wonderful! Would he be willing to do that? I mean, Dr. Gerandy is a good doctor, but I would certainly like to meet with these doctors if it would give us more of a fighting chance."

"Absolutely, he will call his dad and I will get the information to you once we hear back." I reply smiling at Edward.

"Bella, thank you so much!" relief floods her voice, "And please, make sure to thank your… Edward, for us as well."

"I will, Karen. You tell Senior to take care of himself. I miss you guys so much!" I say sincerely because they are like a second mom and dad to me.

"We miss you, too sweet girl! Now don't be a stranger! Next time you are in Forks, you come see us!" She demands kindly in her mothering tone.

"I will. Take care, Karen." I sigh, ending the call while shamelessly eye-fucking my sexy, shirtless boyfriend.

I am just about to pounce on him when my bladder reminds me that nature is calling and more than likely, so is my toothbrush. I excuse myself to the restroom, but not without receiving a nice, loud smack on the ass.

I consider throwing on a shirt, but a lazy, naked morning somehow appeals to me. Especially when cuddling next to a practically naked Edward. Climbing back into the bed and sitting against the headboard, I lean my head against his shoulder as he speaks to his dad.

"Hey Dad, I need a favor. I need you to pull some strings and work your magic." He says smiling, peeking under the sheets at my naked body.

"Someone important to Bella has just been diagnosed with stage 3 prostate cancer. I wanted to see if you could get him in with Eleazar or Aro for consult and treatment."

"His name is Michael Newton. He is from Forks, but his wife is willing to travel."

"Hold on, let me check." Covering the phone mouthpiece, he asks me, "Do you know how old he is, Bella?"

"I believe he will be 52 in June. June 2nd." I reply, remembering the annual family camping trip we took the first week in June to celebrate his birthday.

Nodding, he continues his conversation with his father. "Yeah, he's 51."

"We really appreciate it Dad, just shoot me a text to let me know."

He snickers and runs his finger down my face. "Yes. We are a, we, now."

I desperately wish I could hear what his dad is saying to him. I am sure the smile on my face is blinding now that I know he told his dad about me already.

"I'll bring her to meet you guys soon enough if Mom doesn't track her down first." He smiles as his finger traces down my neck to my collarbone.

"Thanks for your help, Dad!"

"Yep, love you too. Goodbye."

Hitting the end button and throwing his phone onto his jacket on my floor, he pulls my face towards his for a slow, languid kiss. He pulls away to take a breath and sets our drinks on my nightstand. I continue kissing down his neck, running my fingers over his chest and down his torso. My eyes never leaving his as I lightly run my fingernails down over his ribs.

"I'm feeling quite grateful to you Edward." I whisper seductively. "Perhaps I could find a way to show my appreciation."

The wanton whore in me is taking over yet again. I smile as I feel his arousal grow near the valley between my tits. Reveling in my new-found power and his reactions to my touch I run my tongue around his navel, lightly slipping my fingernails under his boxer briefs.

"Do you have any suggestions, Edward? Is there any special way I can show you how much I appreciate your kindness?"

His breathing hitches and his eyes grow dark. I push my tits together a little more, adding to the pressure around his dick. He licks his lips and his hands come down to weave through my hair.

"Not so fast, Cullen!" I chastise, grabbing his wrists and placing them behind his head like he did to me the night before. "You keep those hands up there and let me handle the rest."

I begin slipping his boxer briefs down his hips, getting an up close and personal view of his delicious V. Getting onto my knees, I pull the underwear off his legs and throw them on the ground near his clothes. He lays there before me, gloriously naked and perfect. I reach down, gripping the base of his cock lightly. Suddenly, I realize that I have no idea what I am doing, my confidence waning.

"I, uh. I've never done this before." I admit as I worry my lip between my teeth feeling the need to confess my inexperience. "You have to let me know if I do something wrong, okay?"

Edward just nods, closing his eyes, seeming to enjoy the feeling of my hand gripping him. I lower my upper body towards his erection, studying every nuance. He is long and thick. His shaft is a beautiful shade of flesh and pink, while his head is growing more purple by the minute. A small drop of pre-cum forms at his slit and I involuntarily lick my lips.

I have a firm grip on the base of his cock, while my other hand runs up and down his length with only feather-light touches from my fingertips. I think back to the in-depth fellatio tutorial that Rose and Tanya gave me a few months ago when I was actively training to seduce my longtime boyfriend. I have to stifle a laugh thinking about the act of licking, sucking and humming around a Cheddarwurst. It seemed like great practical application at the time. I will say though that the girls are excellent teachers, providing both the fellatio fundamentals and some advanced practice techniques.

It's now or never, Swan. Closing my eyes, I flatten my tongue against his shaft above my hand at the base of his cock and slowly run it up to his head. His penis twitches slightly and I can hear his breathing deepen. My confidence growing by the minute, I place my mouth around his head, sucking fiercely before swiping the tip of my tongue across his slit, tasting him for the first time.

His legs stiffen and I can hear that his breathing hitches slightly. Not being able to help myself, I open my eyes. His eyes are closed tightly, lips are parted and his long fingers are tightly gripping his hair. The sight before me causes me to moan like a whore, as I relax my throat and attempt to take him deeper, up and down, up and down, swirling and licking all around his head each time I reach the tip. I can't take my eyes off him. Now I know what Rose and Tanya are talking about, the power I feel, even though I am on my knees, it is intoxicating. Growing more brazen by the minute, I tease him by running my fingertips lightly over his hips and thighs, causing his legs to quiver. Relishing his reaction, I use his line from the night before.

"Mmm, so responsive." I moan, smiling against his shaft before I take him deeply down my throat, humming and running the tip of my tongue back and forth over his head.

His eyes fly open. They are dark and hungry and slightly crazed as they meet mine. His jaw tightens, as does every muscle in his body. He slams his head back on the pillow and grabs his hair even harder. A groan escapes his lips, followed by my favorite explicative to ever roll off his tongue, a loud and long Fuck.

Feeling bold, I suck his tip even harder, releasing it with a pop. I run my hands slowly up his chest and grab his wrists, encouraging him to release the tight grip he has on his hair. Pulling his hands down slowly, I place them on the back of my head, my eyes never leaving his.

"Show me what you like, Edward." I whisper as I lower my mouth back onto his dick and raise my ass further in the air.

Tanya and Rose refer to this as the finishing move, allowing them control. Apparently there are a couple schools of thought on this one though. Tanya prefers to relinquish total control by placing her hands on or under their ass to encourage thrusting or as she put it, "a thorough face-fucking". Now Rose, on the other hand, she wants to maintain some jurisdiction depending on the size of her partner. If he is large, she prefers to have her hands on his thighs, so she can push back if necessary. And if he is Emmett size, she opts to place at least one hand at the base to prevent her from gagging.

Clearly I am not as confident in my gag reflex as Tanya, so I opt to place my hands on his thighs just in case. Edward runs his long fingers though my hair as I continue to languidly suck up and down his shaft, humming occasionally. Growing impatient, I try another Tanya trick and lightly run my teeth along his length. Just then, I feel his grip tighten in my hair. Bingo.

He growls slightly through clenched teeth and begins gently pushing my head down his cock. Relaxing my throat, I prepare to take him as far as I can go. Still showing restraint, he only takes me about half way down before pulling me up a few times. Apparently, he needs more encouragement, so I reach down and tug lightly on his balls, all the while keeping my eyes focused on his.

"Ahh. God damn, Bella!" He yells as he pushes my mouth further down his shaft over and over again until I can feel him near the back of my throat.

Now granted, I'm not going to lie - I find it impressive that I am able to take him so far. But I think I get a little too Kid Rock cocky when I decide that I can pull a Tanya and scoot my hands under his ass allowing him full range of motion and all access to hump my face to his heart's content.

His eyes darken and his entire body tenses, including his grasp on my hair. He groans loudly as he begins thrusting and pulling my mouth down around his cock harder. His breathing quickens. He is getting so worked up. I keep my eyes wide and innocent as I hum around his sensitive head and scrape my teeth along the base of his cock as he pulls my head up. He is grunting and muttering curses under his breath – he is so close. I close my eyes briefly to concentrate on my breathing and increase my suction. He releases my hair on one side and places his hand on my jaw.

"Un uh, Bella. Keep those eyes open." He grits out as he fists the base of his cock and begins jacking it slowly. "Keep your eyes and that mouth open".

Lifting my head slightly, he has my mouth hovering over his cock. I am panting and straining to get my mouth back around him. I desperately want him to finish in my mouth. I try to swipe his tip with my tongue but to no avail, he pulls my head up each time I get close.

"You want this, Bella?" He asks as the sound of him working over his cock becomes louder and faster. His expression is pained and needy.

"Please, Edward" I moan out keeping my eyes wide, looking deeply into his. "Let me show you how grateful I am."

I barely get the words out before he roughly thrusts his hips up and pushes the back of my head down.

"Good girl, Bella. That's my good girl. Suck it! Fucking show me." He begins to mutter and moan as he impales my face with his cock.

His hips continue to piston while I moan all around him. I hear his breathing become choppy and each thrust is punctuated with a grunt or a curse. His skin is slapping against mine and then I feel his body tense – Edward is spiraling out of control. He shuts his eyes tightly and releases a throaty moan before yelling my name followed by a long series of incoherent muttering.

I feel the first spurt hit the back of my throat and I swallow it down greedily. I don't want that shit to linger in my mouth. While Edward's jizz may be considered a delicacy – let's not put a bow on a pig – it's still jizz.

Just as I am preparing myself to handle the next spurt of his baby batter, the door flies open. An oblivious Tanya walks into the room while pulling her keys out of the lock followed by a bored looking Rose who as usual is examining her nail beds. What follows seems to happen in slow motion like we are in The Matrix. I push up off his dick, but with his hand still firmly placed on the back of my head, I'm not able to get my face more than an inch or two above his exploding tip.

Tanya steps forward, finally looking up. I can only imagine what we must look like, both completely naked and in the throes of passion. My ass in the air, back arched, with my hands under my naked boyfriends ass and a huge dick in my face. Her eyes widened as she takes in the scene, frozen in place just like I was the week before. Edward must be oblivious because he does not release his kung fu grip from my head.

"What. The. Fuck?" Tanya shrieks just as Edward shoots another stream of semen – right into my eye.

"MOTHER FUCK!" I scream, as his jizz coats my eye socket. It burns like hell. Thankfully, Edward who up until that point has been blissfully unaware of his surroundings, releases his vice-like grip on my hair and scrambles to cover us.

I can hear Rosalie cackling hysterically, while Tanya is apparently rummaging around in our mini-fridge for a bottled-water and barking out instructions like a war-time medic. I also hear Edward zipping up his pants. At least he still has his modesty. I'm pretty sure I want the earth to swallow me whole, as I am flailing around stark naked, holding my eye.

An hour later, I find myself sitting in my lab. Fully clothed, however, my ego is wounded and my eye is red and stings like hell. My phone is vibrating like crazy in my bag. I cringe at the thought that it is probably Edward giving me the big boot for my mediocre blow job skills and the ensuing disaster.

Exiting the lab, I pull out my phone. The first text is from Edward asking me to coffee at 11:30 just like we did the week before. I accept on the condition that I may wear my sunglasses and verifying that he is alright with having coffee with Stevie Wonder.

The next text is from Rose. She texts me the lyrics to a song we used to sing to my neighbors one-eyed dog when we were in 5th grade. It read: You're the one-eye, one-eye, one eye. You're the one-eye, one-eye love.

After that little text gem, I decide to forgo reading the rest of their texts, because clearly I am never going to hear the end of this.

I meet Edward outside of the union as planned. He has our drinks in hand and nods to a nearby bench. I tense up with an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. When he realizes I am not following him he pauses and gives me a reassuring smile as he walks back to me.

"I just figured you would be more comfortable wearing your glasses outside, Stevie."

Relieved that I'm not going to be dumped after our 14 hour relationship status, I merrily join him on the bench. I hear his iPhone text alert go off. He rolls his eyes before pulling it out to take a look. Shaking his head, he pushes the phone towards me.

"Our friends are fucking hysterical."

It is a text from Emmett with a picture of Shooter McGavin from Happy Gilmore. I laugh out loud. Quite creative for the man-child.

My phone sounds next with a text from Tanya. It is a picture of Ralphie from A Christmas Story and a message simply saying "You'll shoot your eye out, kid." I laugh hysterically as I show Edward.

"We're never going to live this down, are we?" I ask, putting my iPhone back in my backpack.

Edward snorts and wraps his arm around me, "Probably not, Swan. Probably not."

A/N… Raise your hand if it has happened to you... Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? Uh, yeah, me neither...

Talk about a memorable first, huh?

I'll see you all on Thursday for a chat with the gals and a little study session...

Thanks so much to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed, faved and lurked this questionable story of mine...