Renji followed one of the staff members as he brought him to what would be his and Byakuya's room for that night. They lead him into the room and he saw that his captain was already sitting on the bed. The door behind him closed and he could hear them lock it, making him take a deep, nervous breath.

"Relax Renji… That's just a precaution to ensure our safety."

"Taichou…." He bit his lip.

"Call me Byakuya. Please." He could see the smile on his captain's face and noticed how it looked so sincere.

"Byakuya…. Oh god…. That sounds so awkward coming from my mouth…. But… .uhm… there is actually something I really wanted to talk about."

"sure… go ahead."

He closed his eyes and started reciting what he had practiced. "Taichou I know that we are actually getting married because of the bond and the fact that your clan wants to keep up appearances. But…. I don't really want to marry for such a reason."

He took a deep breath, reminding himself to do so, and to talk a little slower.

"I want us to marry because I have actually fallen hopelessly in love with you and I really hope this doesn't freak you out or disgust you and that maybe in time you could learn to like me as well, maybe even love me.. You don't have to if you don't want to but I think I'd kinda really like that…."

He bit his lip once again, holding his breath and not opening his eyes. And when no answer came his mind started going into panic mode.

"Renji…. Calm down… I am not disgusted or freaked out. I've known about your feelings for quite some time already. You tend to forget that I can read your mind and also, I don't need to come to love you seeing as how I already do…. Otherwise this souldbond couldn't even have formed in the first place, seeing as how it needs both people to have strong feelings for each other to form…. The arrancar's attack would've taken no effect If it were not for our mutual feelings.

The captain noticed how Renji still had his eyes closed and walked closer to him, grabbing his chin and kissing him softly.

And finally the words seemed to make sense to Renji because his eyes opened and he was blushing brightly with a relieved look in his eyes.

"uh… tai- Byakuya…. Aren't we like… not allowed to have any sexual contact?"

Byakuya laughed softly. "they only mean sexual intercourse and fondling, kissing is allowed. It used to be forbidden as well but that changed quite some time ago . Now come here and kiss me. I've been waiting for you to tell me about your feelings.

The fukutaichou turned bright red and softly kissed his … lover? Fiancé? He had to surpress a giggle.

'Actually both terms are correct.'

Byakuya's voice resounded in his head as the man kissed him a little more passionately and pulled him towards the bed.

"come… let's catch ourselves some sleep."

XXXXX

When Renji opened his eyes the next morning the first thing he saw was Byakuya's sleeping face he had learned to like when they were on that mission in hueco Mundo.

He smiled. "I could definitely get used to this." He thought to himself.

"I would certainly hope so."

Byakuya opened his eyes and smiled. "Even your thoughts are loud." He said, giving Renji a soft kiss. "Good morning."

"morning." He snuggled closer to his taichou.

"ne… taichou?"

"Renji…."

"sorry… Byakuya… Okay that still sounds very weird and awkward… but I was wondering. What do I, like, have to prepare myself for with this marriage? Because in the rukongai people didn't really get married because most of them really didn't have the money to do that."

Byakuya smiled. "There are only a few things actually. Normally we'd be bonded, depending on the kind of our relationship. But seeing as how we already are, that part will most likely be skipped. There's also the vows, the kissing, the party, and the sealing. You'll find the latter rather scary I guess because it lacks spontaneity, but you don't have to be nervous about it. The details will most likely be explained to you when they prepare you before bringing you to my room.

"can't you.. tell me?"

"No.. I'm sorry… I don't know the details seeing as how hisana and I never sealed our marriage because of her weak health and also seeing as how we are both males and that said fact will change a few facts."

"but you know the basics?"

Byakuya actually grinned teasingly at this. "well.. we'll be going to have sex that night"

He smiled as Renji's face actually turned redder than his hair.

"uhmm…. Taichou? About that… Uhm.. well… contrary to what most people believe… I'm actually still quite the virgin."

Now the captain was baffled. "you are?"

"Yes… well… I was one of the lucky ones who didn't end up selling their body. We just stole our food and well…. After that I've never actually found anyone I've wanted to share that with… nobody but you that is."

Byakuya blushed softly. "Then I'll make sure to make it the best night of your life." He said , taking Renji in his arms and softly kissing him.

XXXXMONDAY

Renji dropped himself against a tree in the gardens the next day. He'd completely forgotten about the fact that they were going to have to make a child that night. That they were going to have sex to do that. He wasn't even sure he was ready for that step yet.

He groaned. And who would be the one to carry the child? He'd read all about this. How could he have forgotten? Or how could Byakuya possibly not know?

"Actually… I knew…"

He looked up, seeing Byakuya stand there smiling softly. "I just didn't want to scare you. And about who will carry the child. That's mostly for us to decide. But I was kind of hoping that you could carry our first child?"

"heeeh!" Renji stared at him, eyes wide. "Why me?"

"Well… because I think you'd look really sexy like that." The captain stated bluntly, like it was just some well known fact that the whole world knew. It made Renji blush.

"But so would you…" he mumbled softly, making Byakuya laugh. "Well… we still have time to figure that out so let's not think about that right now okay? Let's just go with the flow."

"you talked to the council?"

"yes. They told me to let them know when we would like to get married. They proposed in two weeks but I asked for a little more time because that's really fast and you still have to get used to me."

"thank you."

Renji softly laughed against Byakuya who was now sitting next to him.

"I really do love you you know." He said shyly, making the older one smile once again. "I love you too."

XXXXTHENEXTWEEKMONDAY

The next time Byakuya came back rom a councilmeeting he had a small surprise for Renji, who was still nervous about the wedding night.

He walked towards the pond where Renji was swimming, taking off his clothes and getting into the water as well before hugging the younger one from behind. He nuzzled his neck and kissed him underneath his ear. "I'm back, and I've got some good news."

The redhead turned around in his captain's embrace. "I'm all in for the good news."

"The date's set. In one month we are going to be lifepartners. But that's not everything. We also have permission to use the room we used for the engagement night every Wednesday, saterday and Monday."

"why?"

"to get you used to being with me, to being touched by me so you won't freak out on our wedding night. We have allowance to do everything except going all the way…. You remember that embarrassing check-up they made us go through after the engagement night?"

"the reiatsu body check…" the redhead blushed brightly. "yeah I remember… They really did check EVERYTHING."

"Yeah… well… that was the condition for being able to bend the rules a bit. Every time we go into that room they'll do the check-up afterwards."

Renji groaned, but nodded, hugging byakuya tightly. "Thank you for bending the rules for me. I know how much you normally like to stick to them."

"no problem. I did it because I love you."

XXXWEDNESDAYEVENING

Renji stared at the door of the shared room. To say he was nervous would be an understatement. Of course he knew that it was not like they HAD to do anything.

"Renji. You can come in you know." He heard Byakuya say softly so he slowly opened the door, startling when a servant closed and locked it behind him.

"Renji…. " Byakuya smiled at him. "We don't have to you know? Come here… let's just stay close to each other and just kiss for a while."

He patted the empty place next to him where Renji awkwardly sat down a few seconds later.

"I'm sorry… I'm just so nervous about all of this. In 4 weeks we are getting married and that night we have to do it, and one of us is going to end up pregnant."

Byakuya tightly hugged him. "If you're too nervous I'll gladly be the one to carry our first child. But that's actually kind of what I wanted to talk about this first night. Because all of our other nights will mostl likely go differently according to what we decide about that."

"I know…. But how are we going to decide such a big thing? It's not like we can pull straws or anything."

The captain sighed. "I have no idea. Mostly it is decided purely based on logic and status. But that is mostly when there is no love involved."

"would they appreciate me more If I'd be the one to carry our first child?"

"they?"

"the elders and your staff?"

"Renji.. They already appreciate you…"

"But that's the point… They don't. I hear them talk about me. They think I'm an animal, a barbarian, that we don't fit together… That I don't fit with you. They think I won't be able to live the noble life, to raise our children well. They even think that I won't be able to carry the child full term because I'm too wild and would most likely miscarry because of who I am…."

"Renji…" he pulled the redhead even closer. "You know that's ridiculous. You'll be perfect at all of it. But O'm not going to stop you if you want to proof them that. Rub it in their faces when you carry, bear and raise our child. It's up to you who carries first because I don't mind either way. Okay? But think it over. Don't do it solely because you want to prove yourself to them. They're not worth that kind of honor if they speak about you like that."

The redhead smiled and leaned against his lover… fiancé, enjoying the feel of the other's heartbeat.

"I want you to do this because you want it for yourself. And don't forget that I can listen to your thoughts. Even thought I promised you to keep that down, I already notice elements of your inner world appearing into mine. Our inner worlds are coming together because our bond strengthens. Because our relationship strengthens."

He hugged Renji even tighter now. It's almost a miracle the redhead can still breath with him hugging him like that. "I love you and whatever you decide, I'm with you in the decision. As long as you do it for the right reasons. Now.. let's go to sleep."

He whispered the last part softly in Renji's ear.

XXXX

When Renji dreamed that night, he dreamed that he was the one pregnant, holding his tummy and actually showing it off. People were congratulating him. He was actually so enormously proud that HE was the one carrying Byakuya's first child… THEIR first child.

And when he woke up he was still holding his stomach, feeling slightly confused. He turned around and looked at Byakuya's face.

He'd always had this thing that when he was doubting over something, a decision to make, he'd have a dream about it. About which option he like more… or less.

Like for example there was that time in Inuzuru where he'd doubted if maybe he should start selling his body so he could feed the mouths of the younger children on the streets. But he'd had nightmares for days. First about how he'd be raped, kidnapped, sold as a slave or murdered, then about what would happen to Rukia and the others if he were to suddenly disappear like that.

His dreams had decided for him back then, and it seemed like now, they were helping him decide as well. And he listened… Because hey… Dreams are your sub consciousness telling you about what you want.

He snuggled closer to his lover, because during their sleeping hours they'd drifted a bit apart in the bed, and fell asleep again with a smile on his face.