When you look at my life, tell me what do you see?

I'm only human, so don't expect too much from me

"Why don't you begin with something interesting about yourself." Carter starts off to what seems is going to be one of the most endless nights of my life. She is still sitting on the steps beside me, ready to absorb all the information she could about me and my past. I know she wants to hear the details, yet I don't know when it will be too much for her, more so too much for myself. Yet whatever Carter wants to know, she at least deserves the truth. Her first inquiry makes me think for a moment.

"Beside the fact I was a natural brunette till I first left New York. Hmmm..." A memory then sitrs within my brain, making me smile. You know the song about the hole in the bucket?" Carter just looks at me puzzled then grins amused at me.

"Wow... that def is a very interesting place to start but the what?"

I just shake my head, chuckling at her utter confusion. "Humans these days, never remember the classics. Let's start boring then, from very the beginning. My real name is Elizabeth Thompson, born in New York to American Gregory and English Emily Thompson on December 3rd, 1931. My mother was the one who taught me the piano growing up in England, playing since I could walk, and you could say I was very good at it."

"First off I wouldn't call you boring. And was? Didn't sound like it just now." I just smirk at Carter.

"Thanks. My parents always thought my talent would go somewhere. My mom never stopped pushing me to be my best, to keep enhancing and showcasing my skills while my dad was my biggest and most outspoken fan. I can still remember my very first piano recital when I was five. You hear 'And now Elizabeth Thompson performing Flight Of The Bumble Bee!' And as soon as I walk out with my mom, my dad shouts from the middle of the crowd "THAT'S MY LIZA! FLY MY BABY BUMBLE BEE!" In dead silence the whole crowd of 1930s black and white music snobs looked to him like he was insane."

Me and Carter both laughed. "And your mom?"

I just shake my head as I continue to laugh.

"Oh, after we got out of the performance she slapped him upside the head for misbehaving, not even bothering to use the correct name while doing it. Yet after he endlessly apologized to my mom he pulled me up into his arms telling me he didn't regret it, that I would always be his Liza." My smile fades however as my mind wonders off to a different memory, to another that solely saw me as theirs.

I lost my faith, what have I become?

I don't think I can be safe from what I'm running from

I remember when Annabelle had taught me how to dance. Annabelle was a great dancer, saying it was a good method to catch our prey off guard. In these days the vampire community in New York called her The Original Marilyn, enticing, beautiful, known to using her charm and sexuality to catch and play with her prey. Clueless men were Annabelle's easiest and safest target due to the time and era. Yet it was women she hungered for and in truth they were just as entranced by her. They would be swooning to have Annabelle ask them if they'd like a drink, a heated yet meaningless one night fling. They even got to enjoy the leisure of a slow dance in a secluded vampire bar if they had the honor of Annabelle choosing them. Having same sex companions was not at all an oddity to vampires being alienated themselves. Many enjoyed having multiple hosts and partners, men and women. The powerful attraction to blood broadened their choices of both prey and pleasure.

When my sister and were still human, Annabelle never brought her pleasure to the house unless she was feeding behind closed doors. I had assumed her late nights out meant she was seducing unfortunate women to the slaughter. I had deeply feared it every time she left for the evening and hadn't come home, only being greeted by her when the sun had rose. Fear, confusion, jealousy, arousal: I had tried to bury away everything Annabelle made me feel and question about myself, until I realized I couldn't anymore.

December 31st, 1951

Annabelle truly had found pleasure in teaching me in particular her skill of dancing, specifically because it was me. At this point in time it had been a little over a year since I met Annabelle. This night was also right before the very beginning of the New Year. In just an hour, the hands of the clock would strike twelve. Although good with a piano I had always been known to be terrible on my feet, even as I was now a graceful vampire. My sire had come into my room that night, wearing her crimson persona for the special occasion. Being Annabelle she knew that I found it irresistibly attractive, even as I tried so hard to hide it from her. We drank from the champagne bottle she had brought with her as she showed me a few dances. Yet one dance in particular had me melting in her arms. She had come behind me, slowly swaying with me to a 1950s slow dance song.

Devil that I see, you know

Just what you mean to me

My eyes will follow you dear

When you pass me so near

Her body rubbed against mine as we moved together. She then began to kiss my neck, her hands coming down around my front. Then she turned my head to kiss me, being engulfed by her mouth exploring mine. She pressed against me harder, making me moan into her mouth as I was not only being affected by the alcohol.

Devil that I see, you know

Just what you mean to me

I'm the victim of your charm

When I hold you in my arms

After a minute or two Annabelle guided me into her bed. She took off my clothes piece by piece. As she took off my shirt she stopped, trailing a hand down the valley of my breasts as she looked at me.

"Might I ask, why do you hide your full name? I find Elizabeth to be just as beautiful as Liza." She said as she went down to kiss where her hand once abided as she brought both hands around to gently unclasp me from the back.

"My father gave me the name Liza when I was little. It just became apart of me." I responded, holding in an unsteady breath as she continues to kiss my chest.

"Ah Let me guess , I know the tune. There's hole in the bucket dear Liza..." I just nod. Annabelle suddenly pushed me down on the bed with a seductive gaze, nearing closer. "And then what? Did they use Elizabeth in school, when you played the piano, as they punished you when you were a bad girl..." She said as her hand travelled down lower, starting to pull down the lower garments from my body as she went back down to tend to my breasts.

"Can I say it tonight when you're bad..." Annabelle's tongue dragged along my nipple, making me moan. My eyes shut tight then open again, flashing to crimson.

I don't care 'bout the world

Or what some people might say

I've been in lots, lots of trouble

But I love my baby anyway

"Yes..." I didn't know whether I was responding to her first three questions, her last, or all four at once. Annabelle just smirked before looking deeply into my eyes.

"Yet in my eyes you could never be bad Liza, you're not like me. Which is why you are going to be heavily pleasured tonight. Feel free to call me whatever you want." She winked as all my clothes were pulled down without me realizing, my obviously distracted state getting the better of me. Annabelle went down to spread my legs yet I close them. Since becoming a vampire we had been intimate many times before this point. Yet somehow this time she caught me off guard with her more personal questions about myself. My sire suddenly slid up the body I was trying to cover. She pulled the hands covering my breasts away and pinned both above the bed with one of hers, putting her other hand to my cheek. "Versteck dich nicht, meine geliebte Elizabeth. Du bist wunderschön."

And what does that mean? I asked puzzled. With this she crashed her lips to mine then pulled away, her now crimson eyes meeting my own.

"Don't hide yourself, my dearest Elizabeth. You're Beautiful." With this she kissed me once more deeply before traveling down my body with her lips. As she goes back down to in between my legs, I do not hesitate to open them up to her this time. She settled her head between them, caressing the inside of my thighs before licking up each one. As I let out another moan I then looked down at her, her eyes glowing an even brighter crimson with lust as she looked straight into my soul.

"Don't ever hide yourself from me young one. I will gladly worship this body every night, giving it every amount of attention it deserves. You are mine Liza. Mine alone." And as those two words left her lips she went to work the entrance of my lips...then my clit...her skillful fingers stroking inside me until I came.

"Happy New Year my love..." Annabelle spoke in a seductive breath as the clock struck midnight.

Devil that I see, you know

Just what you mean to me

I'm the victim of your charm

Oh devil that I see

"Devil That I See" - The Penguins

"You are mine Liza...mine alone..."

"So tell me how you got the name Liza, and this hole in the bucket." I snap out of my intimate moment with Annabelle, shocked I allowed my thoughts to go so deep and forget about who truly mattered. I try to avoid the sudden warmth in my lower region as I resume talking about my father.

"That's exactly how I got my name. My dad sang this child song to me ever since I can remember. Because of that song he started calling me Liza, and it just stuck. I love when he would sing to me as a kid. He did some of the craziest yet most selfless things just to see the two most important girls in his life happy. My father always knew how to make me laugh, make me smile." My smile then fades, only for Carter to put a hand on my shoulder.

"I love seeing you smile Liza."I look away from her.

"It shows that I don't very much doesn't it?" Carter just shakes her head.

"I like your tough side too, seems like you could take on the whole world. Thank you by the way for Nate, really. But what really happened between you two that afternoon after school. He's been acting so..." With the name I cut Carter off.

"Nate won't treat you like shit again unless he wants to hear from me about it. Next question." Carter quickly moves on knowing it'd be better to do so.

"Okay, next question...how old are you really?" Carter finally asks the one question I was hoping he would dare not ask.

"How long I've lived or how long I've been a vampire?" We are both silent for a moment before I sigh.

"Its been eighty nine years. I was turned when I was nineteen in 1951. So you could say I've been around for a long time." Yet I now have an inquiry of my own.

"My turn for an awkward question. Have you ever been in love? From that kiss, it seems you have dabbled in a relationship or two. Yet your experience is evidently not very developed. Not that it's a bad thing, the curiosity is...killing me I guess you could say." Carter turns red, caught off guard by my sudden probing of her love life.

"Once...not really." She mutters. I just have to take my own guess for I couldn't help myself.

"Let me guess, Jess? I can tell she really finds me charming." The sarcasm in my voice is apparent, for Carter lets out a chuckle.

"Yeah..she can be..." She drawls out.

"A bitch?" I answer for her. Oh my mouth, sometimes not having a filter that would be useful in times like these. Carter doesn't laugh or smile

"I'll just say it wasn't love. We kissed a few times. But I wanted something more..."

"Real...passionate" I say as I look at her. She just nods, looking to my fixed gaze upon her then down to the floor.

"Yeah. Love isn't much when it is meaningless. But finding the one that gets you is..."

"Amazing. But you haven't found that yet...have you?" Carter just shakes her head sheepishly. "Neither have I, not for a long time." I say matter of factly. Yet it is as if I've found someone who is exactly like me, as if our soul's desires are intertwined. Carter wants connection to another person in a way that actually means something. She wants a love that is not lukewarm, but sets her on fire within every part of herself. Every moment I spend with the human, the more I'm falling deeper for her.

"What about you? I'm sure an enticing vampire like you has had many lovers in her time of existence." Carter says flirtatiously as if to turn the conversation light again. Yet my answer would soon shock her.

"One. Two if you count the woman who turned me into a vampire. She always took an unquestionable interest to me. Although I did not know I fancied women at the time we met I found she was rather...persuasive." Carter's eyebrows raise for I expected she would be surprised.

"One?" I just nod my head.

"I've had one true lover in my existence. All the rest is lust, coming with the territory of being what I am. Our kind uses advancing tactics to reel in prey. Many vampires use sex." Carter's eyes widen, sensing she is turning nervous. I should have stopped there, but I could not lie to her. "I used to live a different life Carter, one l am not proud of. Yet I never went that far, even in lust I couldn't bring myself to. I want to keep myself for one who truly deserves my affections." My hand wants to reach out and touch her, to make Carter see she is the one I've been looking for. Yet I hold back, for I did not want to frighten her off or not be able to control myself. The girl's slightest touch was enough to make me want to jump her very skin. It seems however that Carter is not going anywhere, another questioning arising within her. However the sense of tranquility is soon ruined as I hear Evelyn's voice from up the hall.

"Don't let Liza fool you now. She loved the straight forward ones back in the day...knowing exactly what they wanted only for her to tease and leave them with just a sliver to none of their useless lives. I miss that Liza." I roll my eyes as my sister is enjoying every moment of this encounter. I can hear Carter's heart rate rising, ignoring her intoxicating smell by focusing on my current agitation.

"Oh Evelyn your sarcasm is just beyond riveting." Evelyn just grunts amused.

"No need to lie sister. It was hilarious they didn't know what was coming to them. This girl doesn't seem to meet the book though. Never too late to show her a good time."

"GO AWAY EVELYN!" I shout up the stairs in a mocking voice." She just winks at me before making her way back to her room. I can't bear the temptation to look back at Carter, giving me a surprised expression. Yet she changes the subject quickly.

"So you changed your last name, your persona. Why did you?" My mind grows heavy as I now must brought back to when the one person in my past life saw me as my new self, something I wish they never had to see. This gave me no choice but to change. And yet I knew there was another reason, once again the woman I cannot seem to get off my mind.

Would you be so surprised if I gave up tonight?

I'm barely breathing, I wanna kill the pain I feel inside

But I won't quit for the people I love

So I'll say I'm fine until the day I fucking see the light

"Eliz...Liza?"

"Helen..."

This was a complete nightmare, no the apocalypse. My greatest friend, someone I never thought I'd ever see again, was standing before me as I was in the night hunting. She rushed over to pull me into a tight hug. She was bawling yet I remained emotionless. I looked for a moment to her neck as her pulse was going rapid from shock, my eyes flashing red yet I shut them tight.

"Please...not now...not her."

I took a deep breath, my eyes flashing back to normal. In that moment Helen pulled away to grasp my shoulders.

"You're alive! Where have you been? They were searching for you and Evelyn for months. Your parents..."

I turned my head away from her slightly. "I know..."

"Evelyn...Is she..." I now looked down, not knowing what to say to my best friend.

"She's fine...we're both fine." Helen then grabbed my hand tightly.

"Then cmon we must get you back, tell them that you are here. That you're alive."

Helen tried to lead me away yet I removed my hand from her grip, now looking at her sadly.

"Liza what's wrong?" Helen asked worriedly.

"Helen I...I can't go back." I couldn't even look at Helen, knowing I was going to break her.

"And why not?" She began to get more upset, yet I couldn't let it appear that it was getting to me. I needed this to come to an end, for her sake as well as her humanity.

"Because...something happened. I'm not...the same Liza, not anymore." Helen was tearing up, her expression now becoming angry.

"Of course you are, you're talking nonsense!"

Then the worst happens.

"Well Liza, who's this we've got here."

Annabelle approached us from behind, putting her arms fully around me. Helen was aghast, not knowing what to make of this as she was visibly uncomfortable.

"Someone who will not be harmed." I spoke at a volume only Annabelle could hear. My sire just chuckled.

"Liza who is this?"

Annabelle never left my side, speaking in my head. "You know we could always keep her darling. I know you rather miss your old life. She seems to be a good companion, would be a great source of sustenance for you being such a close acquaintance "

"No..." I gasped aloud. Helen once again went from a state of confusion to anger.

"Liza answer me! Who is this? Your parents are gone, the whole town has been worried sick about you and you've been with this woman! What is going on with you?" She insisted on my answer, yet I couldn't give her what she wanted. I shook myself out of Annabelle's grip, stepping towards my friend.

"Helen you don't understand..."

"Do you want me to make her understand dear. Or would you rather make her forget? It may be less painful that way." Annabelle spoke again in my head.

Tears returned to Helen's eyes, visibly hurt and outraged as she backed away from me.

"Oh I understand. You leave without a trace, thinking you were dead. Come to find you've been alive all this time with a woman who's obviously messing with your head!"

It was now Annabelle who walked towards Helen, approaching her without any hesitance. I said nothing, frozen where I stood for I was afraid if I had done anything it would've only have made matters worse for my friend.

"For your sake I will not harm her young one, unless she gives me reason to..."

Annabelle neared Helen closely, playing with the end of her hair with her red painted fingers. She looked down at it as she spoke. "It's rather bold of you to be saying such things when you don't even know me." Then she looked deep into the human girl's eyes. "Yet it's better that you didn't. And I can ensure that Liza is much better off with me in her current state than with the likes of you." Helen's expression instantly hardened to my sire's words with a fist clenched.

"How dare you say such a thing. Her current state?! This is crazy! I am taking Liza with me and that is final you...!" Helen was about to put a hand to Annabelle, yet she never got the chance.

"NO!" I cried out as Annabelle wrapped herself around Helen from behind, her lips above her neck.

"My, your friend here is feistier than you were as a human. Now young one let's make this quick. I'm growing impatient, and your companion is becoming a rather tempting prospect for dinner."

Annabelle then released Helen, knowing what I had to do. Before Helen could say anything, I grabbed her to towards me, tears now falling from my face.

"You must forget about me Helen, my sister, all of this. I wanted you and I to avoid this pain, yet I failed. I'm sorry."

"See that wasn't so hard was it." Annabelle said as Helen emerged from her trance. I couldn't stop myself from crying.

"I'm sorry...do I know you? Is she okay?" Helen asked as she faced Annabelle and I, unable to look her in the eyes.

"No...I dont think so. And she's quite all right. Aren't you Liza? Annabelle turned to me. I just nodded my head, now trying to hold in my tears. Helen then walked away with a subtle nod. I watched her now as she left the immediate area. Annabelle put her hand on my shoulder as she too was looking to Helen as she now blended into a crowd of people ahead.

"Unless you learn to move on from your old life, you'll only continue this downward spiral of guilt. You did the right thing young one." I let out a shaky sigh, only for Annabelle to embrace me.

"We are a family now. Evelyn and I are all you need. I gave you my word; With everything you've left behind, I will give you the world and more."

"I'd give you the world...if you'd let me..."

"Fuck...get out of my head..."

"You okay?" I realize that I have been in my head again for the last minute or so, looking up to Carter. "I'm sorry. Getting caught up in my thoughts is all..."

"About what?" I take a moment before looking away.

"About the vampire who turned me..."

"Who turned you? Are they still alive?" I turn grim at her question.

"Very much alive, I wish I could tell you otherwise." I do not speak for a moment after that. I need to tell Carter that there is another, one who still has a sense of control over my life no matter how much time lapses by. I feel as though sometimes her voice calls out to me without me even realizing it is her influence, trying to get underneath my skin.

"Tell me about her. I remembering you saying it was a woman." I try to calm down my inward emotions, yet I know Carter can tell talking about my maker sparks something raw in me. I know however that maybe if I tell her about Annabelle, she would understand the seriousness of the situation. She needs to understand that there is another, and she would one day come looking for me. I will not know when our paths will cross again as she indeed promised a few days past, yet apart of me being sired longs for an answer. There's also a pit of fear inside of me, not knowing the amount of danger Annabelle returning would put Carter in. But one moment at a time. I don't even know if Carter will want to associate with me after it is revealed to her that I am indeed no saint. Carter needs to also know of my sire Annabelle; that she is a manipulative woman...getting her way no matter what the cost.

Will you remember me

If I were to fall into the sky?

And what will they think of me

If I leave it all behind? When I leave it all behind?

"Leave It All Behind" by Sleeping With Sirens

Thank you once again for reading my story! I appreciate the support! The next few chapters will focus on past memories between Annabelle, Liza and Evelyn while still human. We also get a glimpse of the maids' past and how it ties in with the story. I'm very excited to share these chapters with you! I have been working on all of them and I think you'll really enjoy them! Hopefully will have the next chapter up by Sunday Night! Happy Reading!