Please go see the urgent message on my Profile if you're interested in Beta Testing.

OMG Yami Bakura's such a bastard. XDDDD Srsly tho, I love this guy. 3 HAPPI FAIS. This was actually technically supposed to be two chapters. :/ Sorry. But I figured the second chapter was actually too related to get its own chapter. ...actually, it's more complicated than that but you guys don't actually care and neither do I. 8D;;; Brooklyn accents suck. Maybe I should kill off Joey just so I can stop worrying about that GOD. DAMN. ACCENT. *seethes * Oh, and the thing with Yami Bakura's Room of Mind—it was originally circular, but then it became pyramid-shaped. I figured that since his and Yami's souls actually reside in objects instead of bodies, they would reflect those objects. Meanin Yami's would usually be pyramid-shaped, except its too busy being M.-ish to bother. LOL So last chapter was just Yami Bakura figuring out that: "Oh hei, Im in the puzzle nao. 8DDDD " LOL Two chapters in one day… is not bad for me. :3 Okay, so four doesn't really count, shut up. But I'd say itty-bitty four plush Mr. Monstro 5 = 2, nee? Like 1.5 + .5 = *coughfishcough* 2. ...okay I'm leaving now. It's nearly 3 a.m. DDDDDDX Sun uva…. *beeeeeeeeeep *

~The Author Lady

PS Would just like to give a pimp-out to the fan-fics of LittleKuriboh and a fan-fic called Straitjackets (all YGO!); the former are all pretty great (granted I've only read Twist and Spirit so far but they're both AMAZING OMGWTFBBQ), and Straitjackets, which I've only started reading today, is a pretty interesting little AU so far. :3 So… yep! Hope you guys enjoi.

Chapter 5 -_-_- This is Not Me

Joey stood outside the door, Tea and Tristan crowding beside him.

"Come on! Let's go in already!" Tristan shouted, trying to push Joey against, and thus through, the door. Tea was pushing against him, out towards the hall.

"We can't!" she shouted, grunting with the effort of keeping Tristan at bay. "He hasn't opened the door yet!"

"Oh come on!" Tristan shouted, grabbing Joey's shirt for an anchor. "We've already knocked three times, and we iknow/i Yugi's here! And that means Bakura's here too! Why don't we just go in?!"

"Triiiiiiiiiistaaaaaaan," Tea whined. Joey banged again on the door, making it rattle in its frame.

"Yo! Yug, Bakura! Let us in!" He pounded against the door, but it didn't give. He frowned at the door, then turned to Tea and Tristan, his arms crossed resolutely across his chest. "Alright—we'll turn 'e door knob, and if it isn't locked we'll go in. But if it iis/i locked, we assume they went out for ice cream and leave. 'kay?"

"Alright!" Tea and Tristan said in unison, saluting. Joey nodded once and turned around, reaching slowly for the doorknob. He started to turn it, making a big show of it and doing it as slowly as he possibly could. Tristan gave an enormous sigh and shoved on Joey's back, making the three of them tumble into the apartment's entrance.

Joey got up to his feet and dusted himself off, grumbling loudly about his friends. He took a step forward and nearly tripped over the first body.

Yugi and Bakura were laying sprawled out on the ground, their Duel Monsters Cards scattered around them. They were both clearly unconscious, and Joey fought down the initial thought that they might be dead. Their limbs were spread out awkwardly around them, like they'd fallen to the ground and hadn't moved afterwards.

"Guys!" Joey shouted in alarm as Tea and Tristan noticed the two of them as well. Tristan's eyes lit on the cards and his eyebrows climbed up his head.

"They must have been attacked by a Rare Hunter!" he shouted, his eyes wide. Tea was already kneeling next to Yugi, trying to lift him.

"Come on you guys! This can't be good—they need to get in their beds!" she said, straining under Yugi's slight weight. Joey leaned down and scooped Yugi up like it was no big deal.

"Tristan and I'll take Yug back to his place!" he said, gesturing with his head to Tristan, who was busy scooping the cards up so they could divide them into their proper decks later. Tea nodded and started to lift Bakura up and drag him to his room.

* *

Yami pushed himself out of the stone throne he had fallen asleep in. His muscles ached as he pushed himself up, and lurched as he got to his feet. He frowned and put a hand up to his head to steady himself. He wasn't feeling well; he was even more confused than usual. What had happened? Yami Bakura had attacked him. And that was it.

Had Yugi gone free?

Was Bakura lost in the shadows?

Had the Shadow Realm punished Yami Bakura for cheating?

He walked drunkenly out of the room, bumping against the walls and leaning on them for support. His feet felt unsure around him, and the world seemed to be spinning.

"Yugi…" he said weakly. He pushed himself past another door frame, looking at the deep maze that was the Room of his Mind. It was even worse than usual—the stairways were now tilting in all sorts of impossible angles he'd never seen before, some looked inside out, there was a new density to the steps and at least forty times more doors. Reflecting his own confusion. Ugh. He wondered if he'd ever get out again.

It took him what felt like forever, though it could have been five minutes. But finally he went through a door and stumbled into the hall that separated his Room of Mind from his partner's. He could feel his host's presence a little more strongly now, and he lurched towards the other door, prying it open.

"Yugi—" he started, but stopped. This room didn't look like what he'd seen before. It was dark, with swirling shadows circling within it. The walls looked like they had been brightly colored once, but now the colorful, childish wallpaper was peeling in places and looked worn out and tired. In the middle of the room was a single white column, Greek looking, fading in and out of existence. It was around this that the shadows circled, and Yami could see through the column toys and bright playing cards all gathered together into a hurried pile. On top of the pile sat a sad-looking angel with a face Yami couldn't make out. A soul trying to protect its innocence and its identity from the swirling evil surrounding it.

This was not Yugi's Room of Mind.

What was going on?!

* *

Bakura opened his eyes tiredly. It took a second for the world to come back into focus, but very slowly it did. There was the lamp on his ceiling, with the fluorescent red circle where a bouncy ball had gotten away from him and had fallen into the glass bowl. His walls with posters of Monster World promotions and photographs of England and his old home.

He closed his eyes again, feeling the softness of his blankets around him. It had been a long time since he'd been in total control of his body, and he's missed how good it felt not to be sequestered in the Room of his Mind. Yami Bakura had been running him ragged lately, doing who-knew-what; Yami Bakura did not allow Bakura around when he was working. It was why he had been so tired lately, so exhausted to the bone. And it had been why he couldn't tell Yugi about, either—if anyone was to understand his dilemma, he knew it had been Yugi; Yugi had saved him from the power of the Spirit of the Millennium Ring once before, and Yugi had a spirit within him as well. Granted, that spirit was benevolent, but he could still relate. But Yami Bakura had threatened him whenever he retreated to the Room of his Mind to think or to rest, as even spirits needed to; if he informed to Yugi even about so much as Yami Bakura's presence Yami Bakura would make sure terrible things happened not only to Bakura, but Yugi and his friends as well. Yami Bakura had never hurt him purely out of malice before, but he didn't doubt that he could. Bakura dreaded that happening more than anything. Yugi was his friend, as little time as the two got to spend together. He didn't count himself as one of Yugi's "group", but he'd have loved to be a part of them. Maybe if Yami Bakura hadn't entered his life, hadn't made everything so complicated. Bakura had been determined to protect Yugi—even to clearly slapping Yugi away when he almost touched the Millennium Ring hidden under Bakura's shirt. He'd been determined to never let Yugi know of the Millennium Ring's presence again.

iI guess it doesn't matter anymore, does it? /ihe thought despondently. iThe Spirit of the Millennium Ring has revealed himself of his own will. Does that mean I can talk to Yugi about it now? /i He forced his eyes open again, trying to take everything in. The Spirit of the Millennium Ring was being very quiet; he wasn't trying to shove himself into control of Bakura's body at all. That didn't sit right with him—Yami Bakura enjoyed being in control of a body as much as Bakura realized he did, and would hardly ever give up an opportunity to be the dominant soul in it. And Yami Bakura was definitely awake, though he was still deep in the Room of his Mind. He had lost all track of what was going on when Yami Bakura had forced him out of control and back into his Room when he had been trying to walk to the door to tell Yugi to leave. Had something happened?! What was going on?!

"Bakura! You're awake!" Bakura bolted up in alarm, his white hair flying around him. He looked around wildly, his brown eyes finally setting on Tea Gardner, sitting in a chair beside his bed. What was she doing here?! Why was she in his room?!

"T-Tea!" he said, as eloquent as ever. The look of relief on Tea's face was so acute it almost hurt.

"Bakura, we were so scared!" She leaned forward and hugged him, and it took him a second to recognize what she was doing; he was still processing her words.

"'We'? What were you worried about? Why are you here?" he asked, his mind feeling fuzzy. iSomething/i had happened since the short time since Yami Bakura had forced control. With a start, he realized that he didn't know if it had been a short time or not—usually his sense of time was as accurate as usual when he was in the Room of his Mind as when he was in control of his body, but he realized now that he had no idea how much time had passed. This disturbed him more than anything so far, to the point where he was nearly shaking; it took every lost drop of will he had to be still until Tea let go of him and sat back up in her chair.

"Do you not remember?" she asked, sounding concerned again. The concern in her voice struck Bakura again, and he felt awful; how much he wished he could be one of their friends! With how much Tea was worrying over him already, he couldn't imagine how much she would care if he was one of the group. For a second the image filled him with a sort of muted joy, but he pushed it away. It was impossible right now, as long as Yami Bakura was around. "Yugi came over to see how you were doing, and I guess you had a battle with a Rare Hunter!" Bakura jumped in shock, but something in the very back of his mind told him that that wasn't right. "Joey, Tristan and I came yesterday to check in on you and see how you were doing, since we worried too, but when we came in the door was already unlocked and the two of you were lying on the ground all sprawled out and with Monster Cards all over the floor!" Bakura's eyes widened in surprise.

"We… what?" he asked, confused. He put his head in his hands and tried to remember, but he couldn't recall anything. Yugi knocking on the door, Yami Bakura forcing his way into control, him falling as he struggled against the Spirit… then an unmeasured time in his Room of Mind… and then waking up in his bed. He noticed that there was a period between being in his Room of Mind and waking up that was black—he'd been unconscious. But how long?

He felt Tea put a hand on his forehead, and he raised his head so she could reach better. She frowned slightly and retracted her hand.

"You don't feel hot," she said. "Are you feeling okay?" Bakura nodded, not even thinking about it first.

"I feel fine," he said, but even as he said it he wasn't sure if it was true or not. Tea frowned.

"Should I call a doctor?" she asked. He shook his head.

"I'm sure I'm fine," he said, again not sure if it was true or not. "But… where is Yugi?" he asked. Tea nodded to herself.

"Joey and Tristan took him back to his house. We figured that'd be best…" She bit her lip, clearly worried about him.

"Is he okay?" Bakura asked. Tea shook her head slowly, and Bakura felt a thrill of fear.

"I don't know," she admitted. "When we found you two you were both unconscious… The boys took Yugi, and I haven't heard since…" She bit her lip again, glancing at the phone sitting on Bakura's desk.

"Why don't you call and find out?" Bakura offered. Tea's face relaxed for a second in unspoken thanks and walked over to it, quickly dialing the number. She held the receiver up to her ear, still biting her lip. With each ring Tea grew more and more agonized with worry, but finally someone seemed to pick up. "Joey! It's me! How's Yugi, is he doing okay?!" There was silence for a moment as Joey replied, making Tea's face grow worried again. "Really… He hasn't even woken up now?" Bakura felt a little thrill of horror go through him. Yugi still wasn't awake? He realized that he was worried sick about Yugi. What could have happened to the two of them that was so serious? Hadn't Tea said she and Yugi's friends had found them yesterday? How long had they been sleeping then?! He remembered that he didn't even really know how he was feeling yet—he'd kept pushing it out of his mind so that he didn't worry Tea. But now he really needed to know; a cold fear was starting to crawl over him. As much as he enjoyed having someone he thought of as a friend there, he needed her to leave so he could think without the possibility of worrying her. But how could he make her leave without hurting her feelings…?

Tea was talking again, and he listened to what she said, trying to glean as much information as he could.

"He seems to be doing fine; he woke up a couple minutes ago." She turned to Bakura and gave him a sad little smile before turning back to the phone. "Yeah… He's not hot, so he doesn't seem sick. A little… out of it, but I don't think he's ill. … He doesn't remember. No, tell Tristan that I am not going to try and psychoanalyze him to see if he remembers somewhere in his subconscious… I can hear him in the background! Sheesh, guys." There was another long pause, and she bit her lip again. "Really? Nothing at all? Ugh… I'm worried sick…"

"Tea," Bakura said, making her turn her head. "I'm okay, really. You can go over there and be with Yugi if you want," he offered. Tea blushed bright red, and looked at the phone with a look of reluctant longing.

"You need someone Bakura, I just know it. I can always visit Yugi later, and he's in g—… decent hands with Joey and Tristan. It would be wrong of me to leave you," she said. Bakura smiled comfortingly at her. She was trying to do the right thing, even though it wasn't really what she wanted to do.

"Tea, it's okay, I promise," he said. He gestured to himself. "I feel fine. I can take care of myself. I promise." She glanced at the phone again, clearly guilty. "I can't tell you how much I appreciate your concern. It really makes me feel like I'm your friend."

"You are my friend!" she cried, not even leaving time to think about it. This made Bakura feel warm inside—it was the honest truth, then, for her to say it so quickly. He closed his eyes and smiled at her.

"Then that's really all I need," he said, trying to show how earnest he was. "I know that you'll be with me in spirit." He opened his eyes again. "Go be with Yugi now—he needs your support more than I do right now." Again checking his own condition crept into his mind, but he pushed it away. Not until she left. Tea shot one last reluctant look at the phone, and then Bakura could see her conviction dissolve.

"Joey?" she said, lifting the receiver up to her ear again from where she had been holding it against her shoulder. "I'm going to be there as soon as I can, okay? … Bakura's fine. … He told me he is, that's how I know. … I know, I know, but he seems more concerned about Yugi than himself. … I know you can take care of Yugi, but— … I'll be there as soon as the next bus can take me!" She hung up the phone, and gave Bakura a final look. "Are you absolutely sure?" she asked. Bakura nodded.

"Go be with Yugi—as soon as he wakes up call me, okay?" Tea nodded and gave Bakura a final thankful smile.

"Thank you," she said as she lifted her pure onto her shoulder and put the chair back under the desk. Bakura smiled at her again.

"Of course," he said. She left the room, and Bakura listened for the sound of the front door opening and closing. As soon as it did he fell backwards against his pillows, his eyes closed. He was tired. That was the first thing he noticed. He was dead tired, and his eyes were sore. His body felt a little stiff as well, but that was usual when people woke up. He still couldn't remember anything since the scuffle in the hallway, but everything else seemed in place. What had happened?

He felt a presence in his mind, and his body seemed to freeze with terror. Yami Bakura was up. Was he going to try and control Bakura's body now? But Bakura was so tired… If Yami Bakura tried to do anything, he might kill Bakura this time! But the presence didn't grow, didn't try to push him away. And it didn't feel like Yami Bakura either. Who was it?

iWho are you?/i the presence asked. Bakura's eyes shot open in shock. He recognized this voice, though he couldn't think from where. But one thing was certain—it was definitely inot/i the Spirit of the Millennium Ring.

"Wh-who are you?" he asked. He felt a bolt of surprise from the presence.

iBakura/i it thought. Bakura became even more confused—he iknew/i that he knew that voice from somewhere.

"How do you know who I am?" he asked, frightened. What was going on?! He could feel the presence's own fear and confusion and surprise. It was so different from Yami Bakura—Yami Bakura always seemed calm, and when he did show emotions—like anger, especially—they were always very intense, very there. The emotions of this presence were muted, but definitely there, like looking at something through a window sheer.

iI… How can this be?/i the presence wondered. iWhy am I with Bakura? Where is Yugi?/i Bakura's eyes widened with shock and realization.

"You're… you're the Spirit of the Millennium Puzzle!" he cried out. He could feel the presence's agreement.

iYes,/i he said, ithough it would seem I no longer inhabit the Millennium Puzzle./I A bolt of shock from Bakura.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

iI am not with Yugi. I am with you. I cannot feel Yugi, the only Room of Mind I can see is yours. But you are the bearer of the Millennium Ring. Which means.../i There was a pause, and Bakura tried to process it.

"You… you and the Spirit of the Millennium Ring have switched places?" he asked, shocked. Again Yami agreed with him, and he could feel Yami's worry as well.

iSo it would seem,/i he said. iIt must have happened when the Spirit of the Millennium Ring and I fought over our items—when he was trying to exorcise me from the puzzle, he must have been using so much energy that it affected up both and threw us both out. And I was using so much that it put us both in—but not into our correct items./i

"Wh-when did this happen?!" Bakura shouted, shocked. Yami explained what had happened; the strange behavior Yami now knew was caused by Yami Bakura, the shadow game, how Yami Bakura had panicked when it seemed he was going to lose. Bakura felt hollow for a few moments when Yami told him how he had almost been sent to the shadows, but the fact that he knew how much Yami cared about Yugi—he could feel it in the spirit's voice—as well as how honestly regretful Yami sounded made the feeling pass quickly. He explained again how Yami Bakura had tried to summon the power of the Millennium Ring to pry Yami from the puzzle, but Yami had figured out was happening quickly enough that he used his own power of placing souls back in their bodies that they had ended up switchi—

Suddenly something struck the Pharaoh, as Yami had told him he was usually called, that made him completely freeze for a moment.

"What's wrong?" Bakura asked, concerned.

iIf I am here.../i he said slowly, as if trying to reject a cold, hard, terrible truth. It took Bakura a second, but when he got it icy dread filled him just as it had Yami.

"Then that means Yugi is at the mercy of the Spirit of the Millennium Ring."

* *

It took Yugi a second before he could really rationalize where he was. He remembered being in Bakura's apartment, he remembered Bakura suddenly pulling out the Millennium Ring. Then the shadow game. It had been so close, so frightening. But Yami was winning. Yami was about to win. And then Yami Bakura had cheated, and the two had been on the ground. And then…

He felt uneasiness tug at his stomach. What had happened? Had Yami Bakura been punished for what he'd done? He'd cheated—cheated in the Shadow Realm. The Shadow Realm did not put up with that sort of thing; Yami had told him when Yugi had been able to coax it out of him that Yami had played shadow games with others before. Ones he'd started, ones by his rules, with terrible punishments. It was something that he didn't like to talk about, because he'd changed since really getting to know Yugi. But Yugi would always assure him that it wasn't entirely his fault; it was their fault for cheating at his game. Yami never really bought it, and Yugi allowed the conversation to pass as quickly as possible.

Yugi was suddenly struck with an amazing loneliness, and it took him a second to realize that it was because he couldn't feel the Pharaoh in the forefront of his mind, seeing if he was alright, or just being there. That wasn't right, and he knew it. Yami should have been there.

He felt through his connection towards Yami, but there seemed to be something blocking it. Like the spirit at the other end had knocked the connection away. That wasn't like Yami either. What was going on?!

"No, chicken soup is what you give people when they're sick! Not pizza!"

"Shut up! I'm from Brooklyn—don't ya think I'd know?! Believe me, nothin' gets you back on yer feet like a good ol' Brooklyn-style pizza!"

"Joey, you really are an idiot!"

Yugi could hear his friends arguing down the stairs and down the hall in the kitchen, where his grandfather was most likely laughing at them. He wondered why they were there, but he had already come to terms that things had happened after he had blacked out, and all would be explained at one point. Surely Yami knew.

He felt for the Pharaoh again, and this time he could feel the spirit.

Terror welled in him. What he had felt ihadn't/i been the Pharaoh. There wasn't any doubt in his mind. What he had felt had been powerful, evil, malicious. It wanted blood, pain, and misery. That was inot/i the Pharaoh.

iWell, well. Look who's up. Good morning, little Yugi,/i the unmistakeable voice of Yami Bakura came. Yugi jerked violently and Yami Bakura laughed. iSurprised to see me?/i

iW-what are you… Why are you here?!/i he thought in shock. Yami Bakura laughed.

iBlame your precious little Pharaoh for that, little Yugi. It would seem that his ability to put souls back and my power to rip souls out reacted in a most interesting way—both worked, but neither was canceled. For the slow people, that means we switched items./i He laughed darkly. iWhich means also that we've apparently switched hosts. Aren't you excited, little Yugi?/i He laughed again and Yugi felt both fear and anger go through him.

iThat can't be true!/i he shouted. Yami Bakura mentally shrugged.

iBelieve what you will, little Yugi, but I'm here./I Yami Bakura laughed again, and Yugi felt cold. Yami Bakura?! The Pharaoh had been replaced by Yami Bakura?! It was the stuff of nightmares! Yami Bakura had proven himself to be an entity of evil, and that was something Yugi wanted nothing to do with.

Yugi felt Yami Bakura doing… isomething/i and an automatic reflex in Yugi told him that it was bad. He instinctively tried to stop Yami Bakura, using all of his energy to do it. He realized that he was, metaphorically speaking, pushing closed the lid to a box filled with… He blinked in surprise. His memories, what did Yami Bakura want with those?!

iNow now, Yugi. You'll only make things harder. Now really. Let me see those memories of yours. All I need is the location of the God Card, after all./i This perked Yugi's interest, and for a second he lost control of the memories. Memories of his childhood swirled before his eyes, of his parents, of playing games with his Grandfather. All in less than a fraction of a millisecond. He clamped down on the memories again, noticing how Yami Bakura's pull got stronger and strong, how he had to use more and more energy to keep the box shut. He wanted to ask why Yami Bakura needed the God Card—how he even iknew/i of its existence—but he couldn't take away any of his focus from the box of his memories. He realized that Yami Bakura could read them at any time, when he wasn't resisting like this, could gather everything in a second. And he didn't know why he fought so hard, but he did. He knew only one thing—

If Yami Bakura wanted the Egyptian God Card, he'd have to do everything in his power to keep it out of Yami Bakura's hands.

He acted again on instinct.

Yami Bakura cursed loudly as both Yugi's conscious mind and his memories vanished into the boy's Room of Mind. Clever. God damn clever kid. If Yugi "locked" the door behind him, no matter what Yami Bakura did he couldn't get in. He couldn't see Yugi's memories. But in return, Yugi was stuck there. He couldn't leave, because the moment he did the memories would flow freely and in an instant Yami Bakura would know exactly where the God Card was, exactly everything that Yugi had ever known. As well, the only way Yugi could be aware of what was going on outside of his body—and even inside of his body, for that matter, was to leave the room, or even to peek out of the door for a fraction of a second. But that would still be enough. The closing of that door had been like an air-tight seal. And once broken, it could never function fully again.

He needed that card to give to Marik—although a little twisted, the deal was still basically the same; Yami Bakura handed Marik the God Card, and in return Marik used his chimps and resources to get Yami Bakura the Millennium Ring for him. He was surprised how much that pleased him—it was different than how he felt about the Puzzle. To his surprise there was a little bit of nostalgia in the thought—it seemed he had grown somewhat attached to the Ring.

How disgustingly sentimental.

Yami Bakura took full control of Yugi's body, resolving himself to this control. It was better with Yugi out of the way anyway; no one to argue with, he could act however he wanted with impunity. Not that Yugi's presence would really stop that anyway.

He got up and locked the door to his room, keeping those idiots that called Yugi his friends out. The first thing he noticed with his new body was that it was disgustingly short. Bakura wasn't very tall at 5' 7", but it was amazing what three inches could do. He felt like a god damned midget. He walked towards the window and started to slide it up, looking out over the road. He'd have to tell Marik the new change in plans. But suddenly the sounds of Yugi's friends came from the other side of the door, the tall blonde doofus shouting at the idiot with hair stupider than even the Pharaoh's to open the door, while the latter told the first to open it himself, which was met with an angry, "I'm holdin' a tray a food here!"

Yami Bakura considered the window for a second, then closed it again and unlocked the door. He could foresee a very long time in Yugi's body, and until both the Pharaoh and his pesky original host were out of the picture, he imagined things would be easier if he acted the part his body had set up for him. He'd already made the decision to switch permanently from Bakura to Yugi—reincarnation or not, his original host had been a pathetic nobody with no friends. Yugi might be a midget, but he was also reasonably famous, which would help him out greatly.

He climbed back under the blankets and pretended to be asleep and just waking up.

The door opened and Yami Bakura watched with hooded eyes as the idiot blonde walked in, balancing a green plastic tray in his hands—really, how did you balance something that was flat and you were holding with two hands?—a bowl of something giving off steam resting on it. Next to it was a glass of water, and for a second Yami Bakura wanted to applaud the blonde on not putting the glass iin/i the bowl.

"Yug!" the blonde cried out, nearly dropping the tray. Next to him was the idiot brown-haired friend. They both looked ecstatic to see their friend's eyes open.

Idiots.

"Yugi, you're awake!" the brown-haired one shouted. Yami Bakura thought for a moment, trying to decide where he was, who he was, how he was, and what had happened. You had to consider all sides of your character in order to act. Or lie with any sort of believability.

"Why are you so surprised?" he asked, his voice small and worried. He assumed Yugi would be smart enough to realize that his friends being isurprised/i that he had woken up was a very, very bad surprise.

"Nah, just happy," the blonde said, smiling and sitting on the edge of Yugi's bed. For a second Yami Bakura's indignation flared up, but then he forced it down.

"Um… I like seeing you guys first thing in the morning too," he said, trying to sound cheerful. The idiots flashed each other a look, and he pretended Yugi was intelligent enough to catch it. "What?"

"Well… it's not…" the brown-haired started. He looked at the blonde pleadingly. "Um… Joey?" The blonde's eyebrows crawled up his head.

"Me?! Ya little— I er… I mean," "Joey" started again. "It's the middle of the day, Yug." "Yugi" opened his eyes in shock.

"What?!" he cried, trying to sound confused. "But when I came here to Bakura's house it was just after school had… end… ed…" He trailed off, looking around. "This… isn't Bakura's house," he observed. Yami Bakura nearly wanted to wring his own neck. If there was one thing he couldn't stand, it was stupid people. And he was acting about as stupid as he could stand. And what was even worse was that this didn't seem to be any different from what Yugi's "friends" would expect. Oh god.

"Joey" smiled at him sheepishly and looked around the room.

"Nah… when we found you unconscious on the floor—"

"What?!" Joey's hand inched up for his forehead for a second, but Yami Bakura could tell he was stopping himself.

"Well… Tristan finished early, there was an emergency staff meetin' so my third set of detentions was postponed 'til later, and Tea got off work early because of a fire in the kitchens, so we decided we would surprise ya guys and show up there and hang out too. But when we got there, the door was unlocked and you guys were on the floor, unconscious, with monster cards all over 'e place! We're guessin' a Rare Hunter attacked you guys, am I right?!" A Rare Hunter? Those guys couldn't even open a can of tuna correctly.

"My… my memories are kind of hazy, but I think…" Yami Bakura put his head in his hands. "I think you're right." Idiot.

He could tell that this answer gave his friend guilty joy.

"Ah knew it! I mean, that totally sucks, Yug! You could've been lost to the shadows forever!" Joey shouted. iYou have no idea, imbecile./i

"My cards!" he cried out instead. The brown-headed one handed Yugi an immense deck of cards, that was clearly much too large.

"I gathered 'em all up, Yugi," he said, sounding oh-so-proud of himself. "I figured you could separate your deck from Bakura's when you woke up." Oh ter-bloody-riffic. Even when they were trying to help they were nothing but nuisances! Yami Bakura finally understood the saying: "With friends like these who needs enemies?" He'd never really been one for "friends".

Instead he affected a face of absolute gratitude and hugged the cards to his chest.

"Thank you so much!" he said thankfully.

"Did they get your Egyptian God Card?" the brown-haired one asked. Yami Bakura shook his head with enormous, overly-exaggerated movements. He couldn't wait until these two idiots were gone and he could drop the mask.

"No… I don't carry it with me," he said. This he knew was fact—god only knew he had spied on and scouted Yugi so many times it had nearly lost all of its humor; except to Marik, who found it more and more amusing with every occurrence that happened. Bastard. He knew it was kept somewhere in Yugi's room, but he couldn't imagine where. He'd cased it—and the whole house—many times, broken in, looked around, torn things apart—the Moto's suspected break-in-and-robbery a week ago had actually been him—and still had had no luck.

He looked at his friends with wide eyes, pretending he'd just realized something.

"What if he came here and took it?!" he asked in terror. This statement actually made the two of them laugh, and Yami Bakura nearly wanted to kill them for their insolence.

"Fat… chance of… that… Yug," Joey said between panting gasps. The brown-haired one was laughing too hard to seemingly breathe. "No one… knows where that card is… 'cept you…" He laughed again. Honestly, Yami Bakura didn't see what was so god damn funny, but he ignored it.

"I guess you're right," he said, cracking a smile that nearly made him feel sick to his stomach. Why did everything he did in Yugi's body hurt so much more than in the weak body of his original host? Here every false expression, every twitch of the mask made him disgusted with himself. Why was that? He mentally shook his head and ignored it; he'd get used to this body in time. He yawned, and the two's laughter faded away into happy smiles. "I'm tired," he said, though that should have been a very clear fact already thanks to the yawn. "I'm feeling alright, so you guys can go home—you guys look like you haven't left since you found me." They both laughed sheepishly, which was as good as a: "you called it".

"You alright? I made you Brookly pizza soup in chicken broth!" Joey added, holding up the bowl. Yami Bakura took it very gently, holding the bowl by his fingertips. He had a very hard time holding down the bile.

"That sounds like something, Joey," he said, making his voice a touch wry. He leaned over and rested the bowl in an empty spot on his side table, where he resolved he would get rid of it as soon as the idiots left so as to avoid radiation poisoning. "But really, I'm pretty tired. I'll see you guys at school tomorrow, okay?" Joey looked at the door for a second, then turned back to Yami Bakura. He sighed.

"I had wanted to make it a surprise, but Tea's on her way, Yug. Don't you think you could stay up long enough just to see her?" he asked, putting his hands together pleadingly.

iHell no,/i he thought angrily. iI have no desire to deal with that broad./i

He blinked owlishly, his eyelids moving like those annoying blinds that take twenty pulls to make work. He swayed slightly as well, trying to make it look authentic.

"I'm sorry," he said, starting to sink against his pillow. "I'm just… really tired…" He landed on his pillow and tilted his head to one side, pretending to be unconscious. He wondered if he'd been too abrupt, if they wouldn't buy it—but they were really just as stupid as they looked, and Yami Bakura could feel the weight leave his bed. There was no accompanying noise, so he knew that he had sold it. Poorly, but why act well when your audience couldn't tell a the difference between a kindergarten musical and a Broadway show?

The door closed, and Yami Bakura was on his feet immediately, locking the door behind the two. He would go and discuss the new plans with Marik as soon as the sun set in a couple of hours and he wouldn't be too missed. Until then he would stay in this room and try to get used to this new midget-body.

DATE \ "M/d/yy h:mm AM/PM" 8/18/09 11:53 AM

Yami Bakura is very picky; I actually don't think he's acting to stupid at least. :/ This is what you'd expect, you know? Oh well…. LOL

DATE \ "M/d/yy h:mm AM/PM" 8/18/09 11:53 AM

FFFFFFFF Brooklyn accents. I thought I had determined that Joey never got to come back again. DDDD

DATE \ "M/d/yy h:mm AM/PM" 8/18/09 11:53 AM

He has so much contempt for Yugi that acting this stupid, he actually makes himself somewhat subconsciously believe that it's Yugi doing it, even if you asked him and he'd know it was himself who was doing it.