The week passed by quickly, and to my surprise we finished on the 7th day. The days since we reconciled have been very pleasant, as if we were old friends in each other's Company. Our conversations never delved towards where our relationship stood, or my leaving, but they were pleasant and restrained. It was mid-day on the 8th day and I sighed at the biting cold, pulling my cloak closer to my body as I wandered the snow covered streets. The winter had quickly set in and I had not packed the proper attire, the forest never got quite this cold, but Minas Tirith was a higher elevation, and didn't have the warmth of the warm living roots to melt the snow. I cursed myself under my breath at my foolishness. I could return to the palace but I hated sitting still, I was so used to being busy now. My nose was pink and I could see my breath in front of me. I sighed relenting and started the climb back up the levels of the city to the warmth of the palace. When I entered the Dining Hall I was shivering violently and there was a puddle under my feet.
"I told you." I turned my head to see Aragorn smiling smugly towards Legolas and Gimli.
"Fine then but don't go gloatin about" Gimli grumbled handing something to Aragorn as I approached them, my boots squeaking against the floor as I walked.
"You bet on when I would return?!" I laughed
"Gimli thought you would last a few more hours." I narrowed my eyes playfully at Aragorn and smiled at Gimli who at least thought I was stronger against the elements than I was truly.
"And what did Legolas think?" I asked Aragorn as I fixed my gaze on him, my hands still shaking as I shivered and dripped water from my cloak. I had not seen any of them since dinner the night before. It was strange with Legolas now that we did not have a job together, I did not know how to be in his company. It was so easy before to just ignore my feelings and focus on mapping the forest, but now I just don't know.
"I did not bet on your coming lóth Nin "[My flower] he said smiling at me. My heart skipped a beat at hearing the name he had for me again and my face flushed.
Aragorn stretched and looked to Gimli then "Gimli and I have some business to take care of excuse us."
Gimli gave him a bewildered look, but followed him. Leaving just Legolas and I alone in the hall, my cloak clung to me as I shivered. I awkwardly shifted my weight between my feet unsure what to say.
"Come, its much warmer in the kitchen and there is fresh cider there." He said grabbing my icy hand before I could argue or pull away. When we got to the kitchen I placed my wet cloak on a hook that looked to be meant for aprons. I shivered again; my white dress was practically only a thin veil now clinging to my body immodestly. Legolas had let go of my hand and walked to a large pot on a woodstove and ladled two glasses of hot cider, while I hung my cloak on the hook. When he turned he gasped, his eyes rove my form in a way I've never seen him do before, his eyes held such hunger, but as soon as I noticed it, it was gone and I questioned whether I had actually seen him even look at me in that way. His hands gripped the glasses tightly as he walked towards me seeming dazed. He handed me mine. I hopped up on the countertop and sat there holding the warmth in my hands taking small sips. My legs dangled over the edge of the counter and I swung them happily as I thawed. He stood across from me as we silently drank the cider; I stared at him as I drank, seeing his hands gripping the glass so tightly, and wanting him to grip me that tightly. My eyes roved his body; I felt a heat low in my abdomen. I set my glass down on the counter next to me when I had finished. I made to stand on my feet and felt a large weight press into me and arms encircling my waist. I gasped as I registered Legolas stood in-between my legs, he captured my gasp in his mouth, kissing me fervently, nipping and sucking on my lip. I moaned softly into the kiss, wrapping my legs around his waist pulling him closer to me. My damp dress rode up, exposing my thighs to the warm air, my hands entangled in his hair. He pulled away panting trying to pull me off of him, but I dove for his neck, the heat pooling in my abdomen was too much, I trailed gentle kissed along his collar bone and up to his ear. Smiling when I heard him take in a sharp breath, his hands tightened around my waist pulling me closer to him off the edge of the counter. I ground my hips into his trying to rid myself of the heat I felt, as I sucked on his earlobe. "verity." He said breathlessly as I continued, hearing him moan and not being able to stop myself. "Verity unless you wish to be wed right now we should stop." He said pulling away from me with much force. I flushed embarrassed I had just ground myself into him, and kissed him in a way I've never kissed anyone before. I pulled my dress down smoothing it out, and stood up and made a beeline for my cloak. What are we?
I put it on and ran out of the kitchen and to my room, hiding there for the rest of the day; I didn't even come down for the evening meal. I paced my room endlessly still feeling his phantom lips on mine, feeling the way he gripped my waist.
The next day I knocked on his door before dawn. I had paced in the hallway for over twenty minutes. My bedroom floor was littered with flower petals, as I grew them over and over again to rip them apart in my decision making. 'Go to him' pluck 'stay here' pluck 'go to him' pluck
I was already dressed for the day, wearing a similar white dress along with my green cloak. Most of my clothing now that I lived in Fangorn was white, it just seemed to be the easiest fabric to get ahold of, and I liked how it brought out the copper in my hair. He opened the door sleepily hearing my knock, in a thin tunic and leggings. His eyes squinted at me as I marched past him without asking for permission to enter. He shut the door and turned to me with his brows furrowed. I threw my hands up in the air in frustration.
"What are we Legolas?!"
"You know what we are, though I don't think you accept or will admit to It yet." he said yawning and stretching gesturing for us to sit on his bed. I sat down next to him feeling humiliated and ashamed I just woke him from sleeping demanding answers. We're bonded. We're soulmates. Legolas will be whatever I ask him to be for me. Then why did he kiss me in the kitchen when he didn't know if that's where I wanted our relationship to go? I blushed in realization then paled in horror. He felt my arousal through the bond.
"I'm sorry for the missteps I've taken." I said finally turning to him as he sat next to me on the bed, our feet hanging off the edge. He put a hand on the small of my back in reassurance. "This is uncharted for both of us, we have both made missteps."
I turned to him in surprised "you've never?"
"I told you lóth Nin elves only have one bonded, we wait for them, we pursue no others."[My flower] I gaped at him now, so surprised.
"So you've never even kissed? You're over a millennium in age!"
"No you are my first and only. Why does this surprise you?" he asked looking at me curiously.
I blushed thinking back to our kisses.
"They were just very nice is all…" I said embarrassed he smirked at that, looking wide awake at once. I felt the heat pooling in my abdomen again, as my stomach did somersaults, looking at his lips then back to his eyes.
I leaned in fluttering my eyes shut and kissed him gently; he grabbed my face pulling me closer to him deepening the kiss. He broke the kiss and moved to my neck, kissing it slowly; causing me to giggle as his breath tickled my skin sending shivers down my spine. A knock was heard at the door, and we froze neither one moving, his breath was hot against my neck.
"My Lord, the King has requested your presence "a man said from the other side of the door causing me to scramble to my feet jumping away from him. He chuckled at my reaction and stood up; his leggings were tented as he walked to the wardrobe to get a change of clothes and into the bathroom. I snuck out of his room before he exited the bathroom; luckily the servant who knocked on the door was no longer there. I sighed and went out into the cold city, wanting to cool down the heat I felt inside me. I haven't figured out what I'm going to do yet. I don't know if I can neglect Fangorn and stay here forever, but I can't ask Legolas to neglect his vow to help Aragorn. I huffed out a breath of air and continued walking through the street; the snow had melted some, and was now a thick slush, making my feet feel like bricks of ice.
When I had returned from my stroll, the heat inside me was gone as I shivered and sniffled walking through the empty Dining Hall and towards my room. The only sound that could be heard was the squeaking of my boots against the flooring. I changed out of my wet clothes and fell asleep on my bed, shivering and feeling exhausted.
I woke throughout the night in pools of sweat, but didn't have the energy to change or care.
A knock rang out at my door and I didn't answer, wanting whoever it was and whatever they needed to get lost.
I heard it open with a creak "lóth Nin" the bed sank in next to me and a cold hand was placed on my forehead. "You should not have been out in this weather." Legolas scolded. , my eyes were still shut and I leaned into his cold hand. "I will fetch a healer" he withdrew his hand and kissed me on the forehead.
"NO!" I said my voice coming out hoarse, my eyes still shut. "It's just a cold; if you call one I'll send them away. I'll be over it in a few days." He kissed my forehead again and left the room. When I heard the door open again he was alone. "Sit up." he instructed. I did and opened my eyes squinting at him. He held a cup out to my lips, hunched over above me. "This will break the fever." He said as I drank it slowly, when I was done he pulled the cup from my mouth and helped me lay back down. I was asleep before my head hit the pillow. When I woke up again I felt much better. Legolas was stroking my hair absentmindedly with his left hand, he had a chair pulled up next to the bed and was reading a book. His face was expressive as he read, I watched him, being able to tell whenever he got to a sad part in the book by his soft frown, or a happy moment by the way his eyes crinkled. I sat up getting his attention. He shut the book with a clap, and felt my face smiling at me "good morning Lend lóth "[sweet flower]
I smiled sleepily at him, still feeling exhausted but no longer as ill as I had before. I rose and went to my pack; I had yet to empty its contents into the wardrobe. I dug through it and fell into a coughing fit. I was doubled over wheezing still digging in my bag, Legolas then stood over my hunched over form and grabbed my wrists holding me still. "I will get you clothes and draw your bath go lie down." he ordered gently. I nodded and retreated back to the bed not seeing the outfit he picked for me as he went into the bathroom and emerged much later opening the door and filling the room with steam. I got up quickly and stumbled at the blood rushing to my head from the sudden motion. I strode into the bathroom giving him a quick thank you, and quickly tore off my stinky, sweaty clothes and sank deep into the hot water. When I rose from the tub I felt much better. I towel dried off and put on the clothing he had set out for me. A white dress and a cloak, this dress was one of my nicer ones, I rarely wore it, only when I visited in Edoras. The hem had lace in a floral pattern; the sleeves were sheer made from the same lace material. It was very different from my normal simple white tunics and leggings or my white peasant style dresses. It made me look elegant and stately. I left the bathroom surprised to see Legolas still sitting in the same chair reading the same book. He appeared already dressed for the day. I walked to my pack grabbing my sword and belt, which were thrown haphazardly on the ground next to it from when I had discarded it before; I put them on, and knelt down to put my boots on. Legolas gave me a stern look seeing my sword strapped to my belt, but didn't question it. Knowing he himself didn't leave the palace without his bow and knives. I reached my hand out to him, "You want to go get breakfast with me?" he smiled closing his book, it made a loud clap, he stood up taking my hand. We walked hand in hand towards the Dining Hall stopping once when I had another coughing attack and I leaned on the wall for support as he rubbed my back. When we got to the Dining Hall, I had forgotten we were even holding hands still until I sat down with my plate of food and needed to release his hold to eat. Aragorn and Arwen were already there, though Gimli wasn't awake yet.
Arwen smiled widely seeing us, but held her discretion. Aragorn however did not.
"It seems you are enjoying each other's Company" he said and I kicked him under the table.
He laughed and relented his teasing changing the subject. I shoved my face full of food hoping if my mouth was full I wouldn't say anything embarrassing.
"The winter should begin to mellow next week do you still plan on traveling back? You are more than welcome to stay longer." He said in a serious tone. I flew into a coughing fit choking on my food not expecting the question.
I took a big gulp of my glass of water and spoke "I must return, at least for a while, if not indefinitely, He will be expecting me back soon. "
Legolas looked down at his plate when I spoke; he twirled his fork pushing the food around aimlessly.
"You must write me as soon as you reach Edoras then." Aragorn said
The conversation quickly switched to more favorable topics, Arwen actually contributed much more to this conversation, I was surprised hearing her talk so much, it was nice to hear her be playful and informal. After breakfast I excused myself and snuck away, I pretended like I was going back to my room then went down a set of stairs and a side door out into the crisp air. I knew I shouldn't, but I lived outside for the last year, spending all of my time in the elements, I felt anxious being inside for so long. I felt fine too. Just had a cough. The dress did not help against the cold at all, the fabric to fine and thin; the snow was melted completely away leaving black ice along the cobble stone streets. I slipped and slid ungracefully down the many levels of the city, falling once at the bottom of a set of stairs and ripping my dress in a slit up my left leg, all the way to my thigh. I paused standing there at the base of the stairs wondering if I should turn back, no my cloak hid it nobody would know anyway. Not like anyone else was foolish enough to be wondering the streets in the biting cold.
I made my way to the training ground, the dead grass encased in ice crunched under my boots. I smiled and closed my eyes willing my vines from the earth doing the same training practice I had learned in Fangorn. Three thick vines sprouted out of the ground, reaching for me as I dodged and danced around them. I never drew my sword in Fangorn knowing the Ent's would not take kindly to it, so I mostly just worked on my foot work and defense with hand to hand. I laughed as a vine brushed against my cheek as I jumped back dodging another one.
"Verity!" I heard my name being called but didn't turn, knowing if I broke my focus they'd trap me, and the game would be over and they'd sink back into the soil. I normally only worked with two vines at a time, three was a bit overwhelming but it helped me stay vigilant. The ring of a blade being unsheathed and in a flash of blonde hair ran past me and cut the vines down at the base and I was seized at the shoulders. "Are you alright are you hurt?" Legolas looked at me with concern shaking me slightly, his eyes searching frantically "you're safe, you're safe." He said even more frantically, his grip on my shoulders was tight. He had dropped his knives on the ground at his feet. I rose a brow at him "I was training. " I said dryly
Why was he being so weird, I know before I might have entangled orcs and men but I never lost control hurting myself had I?
He stared into my eyes, not releasing me from his hold. "Why are you so worried? What are you not telling me?"
I asked finally after we stood there in silence in the winter chill for what felt like an eternity.
He paled "there's been times you've lost control, and tried to hurt Aragorn, and yourself. I had to put you to sleep so you did not-"he stopped unable to finish his thought his expression was pained. I gaped at him. I had tried to hurt Aragorn? And Aragorn made no mention of it.
"Would you like to train with me?" I said finally, he smiled at me his eyes crinkling as he did. He released my shoulders and bent down to pick up his knives "ok ground rules, no weapons against the vines, they know the rules and after they trap you they will retreat to the soil." I paused putting a finger to my chin in thought. "We will work as a team! In defense!" I said at once nodding quickly in excitement.
He gave me an amused look and nodded though he still seemed a bit shaky and weary of my vines, I closed my eyes willing up five vines from the ground that quickly came at us, Legolas bent for his knives again seeing them all dart towards me but hesitated seeing me laughing and dance around the vines. He quickly joined in until we were back to back surrounded. He had begun laughing as well, as we covered eachothers weak spots; a vine encircled his wrist spinning him backwards so now we were facing each other. another one encircled our waists pulling us closer in our distraction, I stumbled stepping on his boots. The vines retreated into the soil winning the match, but we stayed in the same position, my feet still atop his. I looked up into his eyes, our faces were inches from eachothers, all he would have to do is lean down and…
My nose was pink against the cold but his face had the same glow it always had. I shifted wobbly to step off his boots; he wrapped his arms around my waist to stop me, staring at me, his eyes were light and cheerful. My arms were trapped in between our bodies, gripping his tunic for support. I got lost in his eyes; the crisp air seemed to make the blue pop. I shivered into his embrace.
"Come, you shouldn't be out in this weather." He said releasing his hold on my waist and allowing me to step onto the ground. We began the long trek up the levels of the city, I slipped many times each time Legolas caught me and steadied me, he never seemed to be effected by the ice and was sure of foot. I slipped going up the second flight of stairs we came to, he sighed picking me up bridal style. I blushed in embarrassment as he easily carried my weight and did it gracefully as well. I buried my face in his chest wrapping my arms around his neck. His chest rumbled against me as he chuckled. When we entered the palace he didn't set me down on the ground. Instead he carried me all the way to his room, setting me atop the bed. I looked around bewildered at being in his room, he laughed again. Going to the wardrobe and opening a drawer and getting a small box and sitting on the floor in front of me eye level with my knees. I looked at him confused. He said nothing just grinned, and opened the box, it was a small sewing kit, he threaded the needled and gestured for me to move my cloak out of the way. I froze staring at him with wide eyes.
"You will rub your body up against mine but will blush at my mending of your dress?" he said laughing again, his voice was playful. But his comment made me question my actions before. Had I stepped out of line? Was my affection too much? He grabbed my hand in his, which was holding my cloak tightly over my dress, and brought it to his lips kissing it. "You worry too much lóth Nin" he stood and walked to his wardrobe pulling out a tunic and leggings and walked back over to me setting it on my lap. I understood what he wanted and went to the bathroom and changed, blushing at how comforting it was to be back in his clothes and remembering his comments about how he liked me in them. I walked out of the bathroom with my torn dress and my cloak in hand. My sword was strapped to my belt tightly. The tunic hung softly off my right shoulder. He now was sitting on the bed waiting expectantly, he stuck an arm out and I reluctantly handed him the dress, and stood their awkwardly.
"You don't have to do that" I said feeling strange standing there with just my cloak in my hands now.
"There's a woman in Edoras I take all my clothing to, she would have mended it when I got back…"
He ignored me as he carefully stitched the tear meticulously.
"It's really not that big of a deal, I rip my clothes all the time-"I said again shifting the weight between my feet.
He chuckled still looking down at the dress as he worked "I could not have had you gallivanting the palace, with a torn dress all the way up your thigh" he paused looking up with me, his expression darker and more serious "I do not want some servant ogling at what is mine." his words were laced in jealousy and made my knees weak at his possessiveness.
"I didn't think anyone would be able to notice with my cloak covering it. " I mumbled sheepishly.
I sighed relenting and sat down next to him on his bed, fumbling with the cloak nervously with my hands. He had noticed the tear? When? Was it in the training field? Or perhaps when he carried me?
Time passed by quickly, he finished my dress and we spent the rest of the day talking and laughing on his bed.
"I wish we could spend every day like this. " I said lying back on his bed with my legs dangling over the edge. He laid next to be propped on his elbows.
"Will you write me when I travel back to Fangorn?" I asked sitting up on my elbows. His eyes flashed in an emotion I couldn't read. "Do you wish for me to only write?" he asked softly, his brows furrowed.
Do I? Don't I wish to never leave his side? I cannot ask him to, leave his duties here, and I know he wouldn't ask me to give up my purpose in Fangorn. It seems our relationship has reached a stalemate, is this all our future holds? Brief moments together then forced to travel apart?
I sat up completely and hunched over the bed with my back to him. "I cannot ask of you what I wish." I said quietly, standing up and making for the door, ignoring my cloak and dress, not wanting to be in there a second longer. I left the room with tears clouding my vision and made it to my room. I fell into a dreamless sleep with my only comfort being the soft tunic I wore, carrying his smell.
The next morning I went to Aragorn's study, I knocked softly hoping he wasn't in there or wouldn't hear so I could just go back to my room and cry alone.
"Come in!" his voice called from inside. I gulped and opened the door stepping inside.
He didn't act surprised seeing me, and gestured to a chair across from his desk for me to sit in.
Before I could sit down I started talking quickly trying to hold my composure. "I love him Aragorn." my voice cracked. He nodded, his eyes were soft and his expression sincere "I know Verity." He reached across the table to clasp my hands while I told him my troubles. It was strangely easy, like how I had done so, so many times in my letters. When I had finished he gave me a knowing look. "You know what you must do; I cannot make the decision for you. You have a choice to make." he said rising to his feet and helping me to mine. I nodded throwing my arms around him in an embrace. "I will miss you mellon nin "[my friend]
I spent the rest of the day in my room preparing my pack and readying myself for the ride back to Fangorn. I did not come out of my room, or attempt to retrieve my cloak or dress from Legolas. I didn't want to see him. I didn't want him to talk me out of my decision. I left his tunic and leggings I had worn the day before folded on the bed with a note to the maid on who to return them to. I strode to the stables in my thin white tunic and leggings, shivering but too stubborn to return to the palace to ask for my cloak back, and not wanting him to talk me out of my decision. It was a warmer day today the ground was wet with the melting ice.
I took one look back at the city atop Verya before I urged him to a gallop. That night I regretted my decision to not get my cloak, unable to build a fire with the wet wood I sat next to Verya shivering. The next few days were worse; it rained lightly chilling me to the bone. I did not stop in Edoras, wanting to get urgently to Fangorn. I felt feverish and weak, but ignored the feeling. Immediately upon arrival into the forest I heard the groaning and whispering around me. 'Our lady!'
'Our lady is ill.'
'She has returned!'
I spoke into the air "send word to Treebeard I have much to discuss with him."
I heard them whispering relaying my message as if it were a distant chant. I dismounted and collapsed of exhaustion on to the ground in a heap. Verya whinnied at me and stomped. I pet his neck in reassurance.
"Verity! My young friend-"I heard Treebeard exclaim and pause looking down on my pathetic form. "This will not do." he said picking me up and carrying me to the Wellinghall, where I had taken my residence. He plopped me on the ground gently and bent down into the stream that flowed through the roofless structure and brought a cupped branch to my lips to drink. I did, and instantly felt the energy and healing of the forest flowing through me with the Ent draught. I thanked him and stood to tell him my tale, while Verya trotted in swinging his head from side to side, as if he were mad to have gotten left behind.
Treebeard spoke first, he told me how the saplings have fared in the winter, and how many of the other Ent's have started taking responsibility as well, all of Isengard to Fangorn ran smoothly under his management. I felt relief wash over me at his words. "I will be moving residence to Minas Tirith, I still plan on checking in but I do not feel this is where I am meant to be anymore." The silence that followed was solemn, Treebeard had become like a father to me, we worked alongside together for a year. We said nothing more on the matter, spending the rest of the day in each other's company. When I retired to go to sleep he hummed retreating into the forest. The next morning, I felt as if my bones weren't quite as chilled, the Ent draught giving me strength against the chill in the air. The Ent's of the forest gathered around me sending me off.
I cried as I rode off towards Edoras, my tears drying in the wind. When I arrived Lothíriel scolded me, seeing my state, white goosebumps covered skin, the same color as my white clothing. And as soon as I dismounted I flew into a coughing fit. She urged me inside, I was reluctant "I just need a quick word and need to be off again."
"Nonsense, do not make me have Éomer carry you, you are a pitiful state, you will at least warm yourself by the fire and share a meal with us if you're in so much of a hurry!"
I was fully thawed by the evening meal, and ate hungrily, shoving food so fast into my mouth some bites I didn't even chew before I swallowed. "So-"Éomer started watching me chug my wine with amusement "What do you wish to speak about so urgently, you couldn't be bothered to dress properly for the weather?" he asked
I swallowed and cleared my throat. "I will be taking residence in Minas Tirith-"my cheeks were tinged pink as I spoke. He threw his arms up over his head "At last!" he exclaimed and laughed while Lothíriel shot him a look from where she sat.
The rest of the meal was jubilant, full of laughter and teasing. They could not talk me into staying the night however, and I entered the stables shortly after dusk to retrieve Verya and continue our journey. He stomped his foot in protest at me not wanting to travel in the cold of night. But I insisted urging him on.
We traveled for two days when the snow started to fall heavily; we trudged through several feet of snow. Slowing our pace. When we stopped to sleep I would toss and turn restlessly, or wake myself up having a coughing fit.
The next day we rode the snow was coming down harder the wind picked up as we arrived at the Druadan forest. I fell off the saddle at some point and Verya dragged me through the snow the rest of the way.
I drifted in and out of consciousness, my legs dragging in the snow behind me as my arms were tangled in the reins, Verya's head was bent low from carrying my weight.
"Verity! " I woke up in the courtyard just inside the city gates of Minas Tirith, Aragorn was standing over me "What are you doing here? Where is Legolas?" he asked frantically
I tried to weakly stand and he helped me to my feet and led me inside of a nearby storeroom to get out of the wind. "I chose him Aragorn; I went to Fangorn to resign." I stuttered out shivering. He took his cloak off and wrapped it around me. He grasped my shoulders with both his hands "Where is Legolas?" I looked at him confused beginning to panic "what are you talking about I haven't seen him! Shouldn't he be here?!" I said my voice hoarse as I coughed
Aragorn paled "He went after you; I had thought you would choose…" he trailed off looking at me while I shook in his cloak. "He was only a day's journey behind you. Something must have happened."