Chapter 4: Confused
Kagome rubbed her eyes tiredly, trying to concentrate on her school work that was supposed to be done yesterday.
"Kagome, you need help? You've been on this problem for ten minutes now, and haven't made a mark." Mom said, sitting at the kitchen table beside her.
"Yeah... I'm sorry, I'm just tired." Kagome said.
"You want to take a break away from it for a while?" Mom asked.
"Yeah, that would be great." Kagome said, resting her chin in her hands, with her elbows on the tables.
"Ok then." Mom began gathering up the school work, separating the completed papers from the not finished.
"Mom." Kagome started.
"Yes?" She said, as she continued to gather the pages.
"Um. What is it like... For someone like me... To sense a mate?" Kagome asked.
Mom stiffened, her gathering coming to a complete halt, and she looked at Kagome surprised.
"Why?" She asked, stern and shocked.
"Well, InuYasha...When he brought me to the well, we sort of...Kissed. He didn't push it on me, not really anyway. The thing was, I enjoyed it, I felt my whole body spark, as if...As if he was some puzzle I was looking for. I almost felt the same way I did when he helped me out of the trap. It's like... I already feel lost without him." Kagome said.
Mom listened to the whole thing, and her face looked like she knew exactly what Kagome was saying.
Mom set the papers down on the table, and stood, "Follow me."
Kagome was confused and worried as she followed her. Worried because she wondered what her mom was feeling. Anger? Worry?
The two came into mom's room.
Her mom moved to her dresser, pulled out a drawer, and dug through it for a minute.
Kagome watched curiously, and surprised when her mom pulled out a thick covered book.
"Here, this was your father's journal." Mom handed the book to Kagome.
"His journal? I'm not going to invade his personal thoughts." Kagome said, staring at the outstretched hand.
"Kagome, your father's personal thoughts evolved entirely around you, since you were born." Mom said.
Kagome slowly took the thick book, looking at the cover.
"JOURNAL"
The title had on it, must hae been bought from a store.
"He wanted you to have that when you were ready to learn about the demon world. I didn't give it to you earlier because, you seemed so happy with being raised as a human more than a demon." Mom explained.
"And how will this help me?" Kagome asked.
"In that journal, he has written every experience he's had as a demon. Go on and read it. It belongs to you now." Mom said.
"Ok." Kagome said, and she flipped through the pages of the book, each page was filled with a very nice hand-writing, from top to bottom, front to back.
Mom had left the room, and Kagome moved to her own room, and she sat on her bed, taking a deep breath, and opened the first page.
January 15, 1999:
Today, I have discovered the dangers of being who I am. Demons are strange creatures, according to humans.
As life has passed, more and more humans have been destroying my home, only to replace it with what they call towns, their home.
Everyday, it gets harder and harder to survive. Perhaps tomorrow, I will confront the humans...
February 1, 1999:
When I took my daily stroll around the edges of my forest, or of what remained, I find myself drawn and fascinated by this young human, maybe a couple years younger than me. Her hair is raven black, short and wavy. She normally wears a short dress, and always seems to be happy. I have to meet her...
February 10, 1999:
I find it harder and harder to stay away from her.
She is unafraid of me, which makes me even more fascinated by her. I think she feels the same way...
February 14, 1999:
Today was magical, after walking with her through a park, I showed her my home. It was then that I acted out on my emotions, I fully expressed myself to her. She then told me she felt the same way. One day I will make her mine...
April 20 1999:
The lovely young woman has now become my mate, and I have areed to do the "Human binding" called marriage...
...
Kagome sighed, she understood now what the attraction to InuYasha was, but she still wasn't sure what to do.
A knock sounded at Kagome's door, and her mom came in, "Hey, I brought dinner."
"Thanks." Kagome said, setting the journal down.
"So, did you learn anything?" Mom asked.
"Yeah. I still don't know what to do though. How does our well split two different worlds?" Kagome asked.
"Not sure. But that was where I met your father." Mom said.
"You mean, any demon can cross over?" Kagome asked worriedly.
"No, that was fixed a long time ago. Your father and Grandpa set up a spell to make sure no other demon could pass over." Mom explained.
"Then how could the demon that brought me to that other world cross over?" Kagome asked.
"The well hasn't been inspected for many years, perhaps another spell needs to be done." Mom said.
"If it keeps only the demons from crossing, then how did I get there?" Kagome asked.
"I'm guessing it was the demon blood in you, you have some of your father's blood." Mom said.
"Oh, so would I be able to cross over again?" Kagome asked.
"I don't doubt it. You want to go see that InuYasha again?" Mom asked.
"If it's the right thing to do, I want to, I mean, should I?" Kagome asked.
"It's all up to you, but right now, get some sleep." Mom said.
Kagome sighed, and nodded.
She closed the journal and set it on her desk.
"So, how did you feel when you first met dad?" Kagome asked.
"Well. He always had a way with getting to my head. I loved him unconditionally." Mom said.
"Oh, is this...Normal? To feel drawn to a demon you've known for one day?" Kagome asked.
"It's different for everyone honey. Just listen to what your demon heart tells you." Mom said.
Kagome sighed again, "I wish I didn't have to be a half-demon. It makes my life complicated." Kagome said.
"I know. It will get better as you get older. Now get some sleep." Mom hugged Kagome, before she laid in her bed, covering herself with the sheets.
"Night mom." Kagome said.
"Good night Kagome." Mom left the room, turning off the light.
Kagome laid there in the silence.
It always took her a while to fall asleep.
Just when she did, she could hear InuYasha's voice in her head, which made her all the more into missing him.
'You can never be normal, Kagome. Demon blood flows in your veins, you should accept that.'
Maybe he was right, maybe she should learn to accept herself.
For who she was, and what she was.
A/N: So, how is this? Next chapter will be up soon, and thank you all for the reviews. I have really enjoyed them.
Please, continue reviewing!
~Wolflover235