Rating: M

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight - I just like to get weird with her characters.

A/N…Much love and thanks to my beta LovinRob for all of her encouragement and hard work on this story! Without her OCD and her cock/pussy thesaurus, this fic would be a hot mess of past and present tense and the word erection used repeatedly…

Many thanks to AmandaC3 for creating the marvelous banner for this story and the Togaward bonus banner. I wouldn't believe it was possible – but she made Rob hotter by wrapping him in pink bed sheets…

Chapter 23 – Into the Mystic

"Okay, now I want you to inhale deeply. I'm going to pull on the exhale." Maggie says as I brace myself for the pain that I know is coming. "Breathe in… and out."

RIP

Motherfucker! I hate the necessary evil of the Brazilian wax. It's like you are being punished for not wanting to be all National Geographic in the nether-regions. I need a distraction from the pain.

"So I hear congratulations are in order." I mention casually as she repositions my legs so she can slather the hot wax on the other side of my inner thigh.

Maggie gives a shy smile as she nods. She and Felix are too stinking cute. Tanya set them up a few years ago when Maggie first moved here from Spokane. I think that initially T was going to set him up with Angela, however she was already dating Ben. Leave it to Tanya to make a friend while getting her hoo-ha landscaped. Maggie is a classic beauty with big blue eyes and shoulder length auburn hair. She is a few inches taller than me, but next to Felix she looks pint-sized. She is sweet and bubbly and the absolute center of his universe.

Almost so quietly I barely hear it, she sighs as she smoothes out the next strip on my skin. "He is amazing, Bella."

"How did he propose?" I ask as I tense up for the next round of rip, rip, pluck.

"Breathe in… and out."

RIP

I suck in my teeth as Maggie the little Polly Pocket of Pain tries to stifle a small giggle before launching into the tale of her engagement.

"Well you know how he can just get so nervous and stuff sometimes. So, he put together this really great slideshow of pictures of me as I grew up and then of us together over the past couple of years. At the end of the slideshow it said, 'grow old with me'. He was on bended knee and it was just so wonderful. It was so sweet and then I realized that I didn't have copies of any of the pictures." She recounts as she spreads more wax, her voice trembling slightly.

"He, uh, went to Spokane for a weekend last month. He asked my dad for his blessing in person and then went to my grandma, each of my aunts, all of my brothers and my best friends asking for pictures that he could use." She looks up at me, her eyes watering with emotion, "In person, Bella. He went just so far out of his comfort zone for me and, uh…" She starts, and then stops as she is overcome with emotion.

"It just makes everything that much more special, you know." She explains before clearing her throat so she can get back to business. "Ready? Breathe in… and out."

RIP

I feel my eyes watering slightly, though it is not from the fact that she is ripping my pubes from my skin savagely. The thought of Felix enduring something that makes him so uncomfortable to give her something so special just makes my heart ache in the best way.

"Okay, now roll over on your side and hold your cheek up for me." She instructs as she pats me on the thigh.

Tender moment over.

As I assume the humiliating position of lying on my side and holding my butt cheek up so she can smear hot wax all around my rear entrance, I go to my happy place. I think back to Edward's proposal and how perfect it was for us. I remember the nervous smile on his face and the slight tremor in his voice as he knelt before me promising to love me forever. I turn my palm face up and look at the small inscription on the back of my ring as another constant reminder that I am in his life and in his heart forever. In an elegant cursive script, my ring is inscribed with the one word that Edward associates with life-long love and happiness. Gotcha.

"Okay, I am going to do two strips in quick succession since it is a relatively small area. Ready. Inhale deep and… exhale.

RIP! RIP!

"Alright, looks good down there. You are all set." Maggie says as she thoroughly inspects my newly hairless anus for possible strays.

"Thanks, Mags." I mutter trying to pretend that she didn't just give my entire under-carriage a painful once over.

"No problem. Get dressed and meet me over at the counter and we will start your manicure and pedicure."

Two hours later, I exit the Fierce Salon and Spa feeling like a whole new woman. The girls and I are regulars at the spa now that Tanya is business partners with the owners, James and Victoria. Those two are something else though. James is blonde, built and brilliant. He is always impeccably dressed from head-to-toe. The only thing that is keener than his fashion sense is his business sense. He and Victoria are two sides of the same coin. She too is fashion forward and fabulous in every sense of the word. She runs the day-to-day operations and works three days a week as a stylist specializing in color. Fierce is her baby and James is her pet - literally.

I take my time driving home. The girls are setting up for my low-key shower/bachelorette party. Much to Tanya and Esme's disappointment, I put my foot down on male strippers. No dicks shall slang in my house, other than Edward's.

The girls are taking the fact that our entire wedding is very low-key in stride. I think Alice is taking it the worst, but she was fucking psychotic during the planning and execution of Rose and Emmett's wedding. For all intents and purposes, she is our wedding planner with Esme as her dutiful assistant. For the most part she's kept the crazy pretty well reined in, with the exception of the dress debacle. Perhaps suggesting that we go see what David's Bridal had to offer for dresses was the absolute wrong thing to say, especially to a fashion designer. Yeah, hissy fit, bitch fit and 'having a cow' are all understatements when describing how nuclear Alice went on me that day. Needless to say, she made beautiful, yet simple dresses for each of us, mine especially. Edward will love it.

As I step out of my car I see Esme at the door smiling and waving at me. Most people are not as fortunate in the mother-in-law department as I am. Once you get past her fondness for copious amounts of booze and over-sharing, she is simply one of the most amazing women I know. She and I do quite a bit together nowadays, including taking a cooking class. I do it to learn how to cook; she does it to learn how to cook with wine. Everyone wins.

Opening the door, she excitedly pulls me in for one of her signature hugs before grabbing my hands and opening them wide to look me up and down. "Bella you look absolutely radiant! Isn't Maggie just the best?"

I nod as she releases one of my hands and leads me into our dining room which is full of food and fresh hot-pink peony arrangements. The table and hutch are draped in beautiful black linens with complimenting modern dishes. The hutch also has six large apothecary jars atop of it filled to the rims with assorted dark pink candies. It appears the girls do not grasp the concept of "low-key".

"Come into the kitchen and try the signature drink." Esme demands as she once again drags me by the hand leading me to my friends who are all standing around my island deep in discussion.

"Do you think she will show today?" Rose asks disinterested as she sips her bottled water.

Tanya shrugs. "Depends. Are they are speaking this week?"

Ahh, they must be talking about Leah. Jake and Leah are one of those couples. The couple that is absolutely horrible for and to each other, but will never leave each other for the simple fact that they've been together since high school. Jake is now a fisherman and therefore gone for long periods of time which does not help the situation. Leah desperately wants to marry him, though I can't understand why since she seems to hate him most of the time. She doesn't seem to trust him much either and is constantly calling or texting, basically questioning his whereabouts. Edward thinks that she is crazy, but I have a sneaking suspicion that Jake is a bit of a dog which may be the reason for the distrust. I am not saying he is a cheater, but if given the opportunity, I could totally see him going for it.

"Bella! You're here!" Alice beams excitedly as she jumps up to pour me a drink from the pitcher. "Try this, its strawberry sangria."

Little Liam's cries fill the room through the baby monitor. Rose jumps up like her ass is on fire and rushes to the little prince. The little guy continues to fuss as she brings him back into the kitchen.

"Is someone hungry? Yes, he is." Rose says in a sing-song voice as she kisses his fat little fingers.

In a matter of seconds, Rose whips out her boob and continues the conversation. "I swear it is unbearable being around them anymore."

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Tanya cringing and looking all around the room. She shifts uncomfortably as I tap her leg and give her a 'what the fuck' look.

"Jeez, Tanya, get over it already!" Rose exclaims out of nowhere.

"I'm sorry; your areola is staring at me and giving me the stink eye like I owe it money or something." Tanya defends incredulously.

"Maybe you should stop staring at my areola!" Rose snaps back.

"Fine, then maybe you should cover that shit up. If I wanted to take a trip to Silver Dollar City, I'd head down to Branson, Missouri and get dinner and a show as well."

Rose huffs and rolls her eyes before turning to address me. "Tanya hates it when I breastfeed Liam."

"Wrong! I don't hate it. I am uncomfortable watching it. I mean, I get it, the breast is best, I totally believe the hype. It's just not for me – it fucking weirds me out."

"It's natural, T! That's what boobs are made for. What could possibly weird you out about it?" Rose challenges with her signature bitch brow.

Squaring her shoulders, Tanya is all business as she answers. "Well for starters, watching my sweet little pumpkin head, Liam get to first base with mommy, well, it just skeeves me out."

Rose's mouth is agape, but it's Alice that comments. "Um how fast do you round the bases because I think it would technically be second base, wouldn't it?"

I smile as Tanya scoffs at Alice's comment while Esme is standing with her hand to her mouth, trying to contain what I am sure would be an interesting perspective on the whole thing.

"And secondly dolls, these are jewels," Tanya continues, gathering her boobs in her hands, "not tools."

She punctuates her point with a curt head nod and we all crack up at her insanity. Although she is laughing with us, I don't miss the wistful look on Esme's face as she watches little Liam feed. I need to look away or she will be a grandma way sooner than Edward and I would like.

Karen and a very pregnant Jessica arrive and the girls run out to unload their car while Karen hugs me tightly. She looks fantastic with a new hair color and a hint of make-up. Apparently she is hitting the dating scene again, which shocks the shit out of me, that and the fact that Forks actually has a dating scene. Esme immediately accosts her and drags her to the kitchen to grab a drink and get acquainted.

I take that moment to catch up with Jess for a bit. We chat all about her pregnancy. She is seven months along and having a boy, Michael Newton III. I think they are going to call him Trip since he is the third. They are moving into the old Gerandy house next month so she is feeling both overwhelmed and excited with all of the life changes ahead.

Maggie shows up next and is showing off her new rock and filling the gals in on the details of Felix's proposal. As the girls ooh and ahh over the big guy's sweet gesture, I notice Alice practically bouncing at the prospect of another wedding planning opportunity.

I have to hand it to my girls; they certainly know how to throw a great party, especially Alice. I am sure by her standards; this soiree is a low-key affair, especially in comparison to Rose's over-the-top baby and bridal showers. I have to wonder how the girls were able to keep her under control, envisioning everything from duct tape over her mouth to her being hog-tied in the closet.

"Time for presents!" Alice beams, ushering everyone into the living room.

As I see the gift table, I realize that this is one area they all refused to do in moderation. Rose's gift consists of luxurious sheets and oversize towels for our room and guest room. Alice gifts us with several pieces of glassware to decorate and accessorize the house. Maggie's gift, clearly the most practical of the group, includes kitchen staples, utensils, and place settings. And I am in complete shock when I see that the Newton's are put in charge of stocking our bar. Karen went a bit crazy with the barware at Crate & Barrel and seems to have bought every booze related glass under the sun. I have to laugh though when I see that Jessica's gift is literally a basket of booze.

"Yeah, I went two towns over to buy all this booze in my condition. Could you imagine what old Mrs. Cope would say if she saw me buying all of this as pregnant as I am?" Jess says with an eye-roll.

"That bitch would have a field day." Karen blurts out before covering her lips with her eyes wide. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that aloud."

We all giggle because honestly the woman never curses. Esme and Carlisle bought us every single small appliance known to man, including the espresso machine that Edward insists that he needs to make it through medical school. He will be ecstatic. Of course leave it to Tanya to take it to the next level. She and Tyler's presents include all of our cooking and baking essentials, pots and pans.

"That shit is from Tyler." She explains as she waves a dismissive hand at our new All-Clad set and reaches under the gift table. "This is from me."

She presents me with a basket completely filled with her new toy line which will go live next month. The beautiful wicker basket contains several dildos and vibes of assorted lengths, girths, speeds and colors. It also includes a few restraints, blindfolds and assorted floggers from her new line of BDSM toys aptly named "Miss V' for Victoria. Esme bounces and claps on her chair like Tanya just presented me the Congressional Medal of Honor and not a huge basket of sex toys. I can't even make eye contact with Karen.

Tanya begins her presentation showing and describing each toy and passing them around the room. Naturally, her favorite is the molding of her man's dong, aptly named The Chocolate Thunder. Next, she holds up a set of molded hands with long fingers which are adjustable. She calls this one Dr. Feelgood. I swear Esme does spirit fingers before she jumps up and snatches them up to show Karen and to brag that these are Carlisle's hands. Tan tosses the next large dildo to Rose. This one has a handle at the end for easier use alone or as a couple and is titled The Battering Ram. Rose holds it in her hand like actors hold the Oscar statue, insanely proud of her husband's manhood.

For the record, Tanya did approach us to see if we were interested in mass producing The Kraken, but I couldn't allow it. I told her to go ahead and use the name, but that beast is all mine and I refuse to share it with the masses. What can I say, I am selfish…

I notice Jessica eyeballing the BDSM toys just a beat too long. I smile and wonder which room in the old Gerandy house she is going to turn into the 'adult' playroom. Tanya finishes her shameless self-promotion by telling all the girls that they each get to go home with a basket like mine. I swear the girls jump up screaming and hugging like the women on Oprah do during her Favorite Things show. Even Karen is excited which kind of freaks me the fuck out.

I am relatively tipsy when the night comes to a close. The girls clean up and head out as I am shouting my love and thanks to them as they pull away. Our neighbors are going to just love us. Edward comes home a short while later as I polish off the rest of the sangria.

"Baby doll? Where you at?"

"In the kitchen."

I see him approaching, but he gets sidetracked by the gigantic basket o' fun. I go to put my glass in the dishwasher when I feel him reach around and grab my breasts, but it's not him grabbing my tits, its Dr. Feelgood. He starts alternately bouncing each up and down and humming a creepy little ditty.

"Do you like that baby?" He coos in my ear.

"Can't say that I am enjoying my future father-in-law's fake hands fondling me…"

The Dr. Feelgood hands are off of me and in the trash seconds later.

"Ugh, fuckin' gross, why didn't you tell me?" He scoffs completely repulsed. "That's disgusting!"

"Oh please, tell me all about it. I saw your mom position the fingers in several interesting ways to show Karen just what these hands are capable of. You don't think I didn't want to puke in my mouth?"

Waving his hands in surrender, Edward nods as we head back to the living room to check out our loot. I snort at the excited squeal he makes when he sees the espresso machine. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me down into one of the club chairs while peppering my lips and throat with kisses. His hand then makes its way under my shirt and inches up my side. I abruptly stand as we agreed no more nookie until the wedding night. Sure, we've failed miserably in this endeavor, but I need to at least try.

"Edward…" I scold him as he continues his kissing assault on my belly button.

"Babe, it's not me, it's her." He defends and points to my lady-bits.

"Oh really…"

Nodding profusely he starts talking directly to the little lady downstairs. "You want this? Oh, you need this? What's that you say? You are Kraken lackin' and you want me to remedy that?"

I give an epic eye roll and shake my head, though I do agree that even though it has only been a day, she is indeed Kraken lackin'.

"What the lady wants, the lady gets." He concedes with a shrug of his shoulders and the unzipping of my pencil skirt.

And with that, Edward whisks me to the bedroom to give us both our fill.

~IYR~

"We wish you all the happiness in the world. Cheers!" Carlisle finishes as we all clink glasses at our rehearsal dinner.

Charlie stands up next and clears his throat as Carlo and Gino run around topping off everyone's glass for the next round of toasts.

"Ugh, I'm not big on speeches and public displays of affection. But, I just want to say that I am really happy for you, baby girl. You got a good guy who's just as crazy about you as you are him. And Edward. Well son, you must have a horseshoe up your ass because you got real lucky. Take care of each other, be good to one another, and never take the other for granted. So, yeah, to Edward and Bella." He grumbles embarrassed as he raises his glass to toast us.

Our friends take turns giving speeches and toasts and sage words of drunken wisdom. Our rehearsal dinner could not be more perfect.

As we drive back to Carlisle and Esme's house, Edward has his hand on my thigh rubbing gently. We are staying at his parent's house tonight in separate rooms. The hair stylists are coming at the ass crack of dawn tomorrow even though the ceremony starts in the evening. We are getting married in his parent's backyard with the lake as a backdrop. Once we arrive, Carlisle and Esme go straight to bed.

"Get some sleep you two." Carlisle calls over his shoulder as he hugs his wife tightly to his side.

Once his parents are out of sight, Edward has me pressed up against the doorway in the powder room off of the foyer, kissing me deeply. Pulling my body tightly against his, I can feel his erection straining against my stomach and it takes everything in me not to hop up on the sink and let him slide right in. Our breathing is uneven and our hands are everywhere they shouldn't be. He leans his forehead against mine so we can catch our breath.

Staring deeply into my eyes, he licks his lips. "You have no idea how badly I want you right now."

The words 'have me' are on the tip of my tongue, but then I remember that we are three days into our sex ban. It's actually a record for us.

"Then I better go." I say before kissing him gently on the lips and high-tailing it up the stairs.

Shutting the door behind me, I exhale deeply noting how close I came to ravaging my fiancé in his parent's bathroom. I kick off my shoes and unzip my suitcase in the hopes that my nightly routine will be enough of a distraction to keep me from running to Edward's room like a mad woman. I throw on my pajamas and begin to brush my teeth. The glint of my ring catches my eye. I smile as I turn my hand over to read his inscription. Oh fuck it, I grab a twenty from my wallet and make tracks down the hallway. I can't get to his room fast enough.

I knock softly and he answers right away. His dress shirt is unbuttoned and his feet are bare as he quickly ushers me into his room. He goes to speak but I am not here to talk. I grab the back of his head and place my mouth on his sucking his lower lip into mine and running my tongue over it. He moans into my mouth and runs his hands up and down my body as I walk him backward towards the bench at the end of the bed. I push him slightly and he sits on the edge as his lips attack my neck and chest.

"I get one more night with Bella Swan, huh?" He murmurs against my stomach as he pulls my nightgown up over my body. "One more night with my girl."

"Mmm, I'm always gonna be your girl, Edward." I say, biting my lip to keep from moaning as he ghosts his lips and fingertips over my breasts.

I lean my head back and close my eyes as he works my body into a fine frenzy. I can feel him shaking his head against my chest.

"Tomorrow you'll be my wife." He whispers as he pushes my tits together and runs his tongue over each of my nipples. "Mrs. Bella Cullen."

I feel his grip tighten and I smile because I know how a little part of him gets off on the possessive aspect of me taking his name. His kisses turn into nips and bites and languid licks as my Edward is this close to losing his last bit of composure. I fucking love it.

I feel his fingers pulling at the sides of my panties and drawing them down my legs. I look down and our eyes meet. He gives me his signature knowing smirk. The one that sets me on fire and makes me want to surrender to his will. He leans back and adjusts himself over his pants. The outline of his cock through his dress pants is all I need to see as I drop to my knees. I make quick work of his belt and fly; Edward lifts his ass and pushes his pants down his legs. I go for it, taking every inch of him into my mouth while palming the base of his cock. In an instant his hands are in my hair and a deep groan rumbles through his chest.

I lose my ever-loving mind slurping and humming all over his length. I love the encouragement he gives with his random 'oh Gods', his cries of 'fuck yes' as I flatten my tongue and run it up and down his shaft before placing him fully in my mouth once more. He twitches in my mouth slightly as I graze him gently with my teeth and I can't help but smile. Over the years I am proud to say that I have perfected this shit. I can get my man off in five minutes flat if he's sober. Seven minutes if he's drunk. The trick is in the tongue and teeth. As I trace the veins of his shaft with my tongue, I feel him pulling me up to stand.

He lifts my leg and places it next to him on the bench, placing small kisses up my inner thigh. Within seconds, my folds are spread and his tongue is working my pussy like only he can. I whimper and moan as I push his face in deeper as he flicks his tongue over and sucks hard on my clit. His hair feels soft in my hands as I clutch it tightly when he starts squeezing my ass cheeks and pulling me to him further.

My hips are grinding and rolling over his face on their own accord. Once he adds his fingers to the mix I am barely able to stand. My legs are trembling and I swear my knees are gonna give. I can feel the rumble of his laugh vibrate against my tender flesh. He fucking loves that he can ruin me. His eyes are on mine as he slides his fingers inside of me teasing and massaging my inner walls until he finds his spot. He prods faster and harder until my entire body jerks and sputters and obscenities fall from my lips.

Edward pulls me forward to straddle his lap. I practically collapse onto him as my knees are still wobbly. I am so amped up I want to just impale myself on his cock. But he has something else in mind.

"Slow baby. I want to take my time with you tonight. Give it to me slow." He speaks softly against my lips gently tracing my face and jaw with his fingertips as my opening hovers over the head of his cock.

His eyes are pleading as he rubs his tip back and forth over my slit, teasing me into tender submission. So I give him what he wants, sinking down his length at an agonizingly slow pace as he fills and stretches me. Rolling my hips and grinding hard each time I bottom out. He grips my hip guiding me up and down as he watches his dick disappears in and out of me with rapt fascination.

We continue this leisurely pace for several minutes with gentle touches and soft moans and murmurs of appreciation. Now normally, I like slow. No, I love slow. But I don't want slow. Not tonight at least. I want him to have me. Claim me. His lips and tongue and fingertips are busy worshipping my tits as I lean forward to kiss and lick the shell of his ear.

"I want more, baby." I whisper as I quicken my pace ever so slightly.

"More?" He asks with his brow puckered in confusion.

I drag my nails down his back to make my intentions clear. Our skin slaps together as he drives his pelvis up to meet me for the first time. His eyes darken and I realize that he's caught on to what I need. He holds me tighter as he pulls me further down his length. Our kisses become a hot mess of tangled tongues, lip smacks and moans as his fingers roughly roam over my chest and collarbone. Running his hands down my torso once more, he grips my thighs preventing me from moving over his dick. Desperate for friction, I try to gyrate on the base of his cock which is fully sheathed inside of me when he slaps my ass loudly.

"Get on the bed, baby doll." He commands as he lifts me off of his length.

Maneuvering around him, I slink backwards onto the bed until my back meets the headboard. With his dick in his hand, he stalks towards me with dark eyes and his jaw tight. Inwardly I squeal because I know he is about to put it on me.

"Spread your legs, Isabella."

I can't comply fast enough as he kneels between my legs stroking himself roughly. I see the vein in his forehead bulging slightly and I know we are t-minus thirty seconds from my dirty boy joining the party. Hmm… Perhaps a little encouragement is in order because I can't resist a dirty talking, hard fucking Edward Cullen.

He scoots my body down the bed and bends my knees, tilting my pelvis. I put my hands above my head and smile knowingly before biting my lip. I am assuming the position. It's one of his favorites and the smug as fuck smile on his face confirms it as he runs his palm up my torso and squeezes one of my tits before continuing up my arm to hold my hands in place. He runs his tongue up the front of my throat to my chin and slides his tongue across my bottom lip before speaking gruffly against it.

"You still want more, baby doll?"

He punctuates his question with a smack of his fingertips against my clit causing me to audibly whimper as I nod and begin to beg.

"Yes. Yes, please. More!"

His lips are hovering over my jaw and his hot breath fans over my face as he works my clit over with his fingers.

"Tell me what you need, my Bella. I'll fucking give you anything."

The growl in his voice lets me know that he's here at the tipping point with me. That fine line between making love and all out fucking. The head of his cock is resting at and teasing my entrance with his hips cocked and poised to strike. I'll happily take whatever he is willing to give, but truthfully, I want nothing more than for him to slam into me wildly. I wrap my legs around his waist and pull him into me all the while trying to squeeze the shit out of his cock with my inner walls. Hopefully he will get the hint. I hear him grunt the minute his balls slam against my ass.

"Ahh FUCK!" He shouts.

He tightens his grip on my hands and reaches around for a handful of my ass with his free hand. He thrusts into me harder this time and I swear my eyes roll to the back of my head like a goddamn slot machine. Fucking jackpot! I can't help myself, I moan his name aloud.

There is nothing, I repeat, nothing hotter on the face of this earth than watching Edward Cullen lose his shit. His voice is low and gritty as the dirty words roll off of his tongue and I swear they make my nipples pucker and my walls clench.

"Fuck you feel good, Bella! Nice and tight around my cock. You like taking that cock, don't you baby doll?"

I am a shaking, panting mess as I nod frantically as he increases his furious pace.

"You want it harder, don't you baby? You like it when I tear it up!"

He doesn't give me the chance to answer a resounding 'yes' because his lips are on mine and taking in my moans and cries for 'more' as his hips slam into me harder. I think he's probably trying to prevent Y-ella from waking up the entire household. I can laugh about that shit now, but when Chocolate Thunder spilled the beans on my nickname, I was beyond mortified. Who knows what crazy shit the guys overheard me saying, or yelling, I guess, over the years.

"Close baby. So close." He warns as he nips my earlobe.

I am just about there. His thrusts become uneven and jerky and I take full advantage as his pelvic bone grinds against my clit.

"Come on, baby" Edward snarls in my ear as both of his hands intertwine with mine above my head, locking them in a vice tight grip. "Give it to me!"

Two more deep thrusts are all it takes to bring everything crashing down around us, literally as one of the frames on the wall above us falls down narrowly missing our joined hands. My entire body stiffens under his as he empties and twitches within me. A deep groan and a whispered declaration of 'I love you' escapes from behind his clenched teeth and I swear it reverberates through my entire being. Panting and sweaty, our eyes meet briefly before we begin to laugh hysterically.

"Pay up, baby doll." He demands with his smug grin back in place.

Huffing I search around the floor and find the twenty dollar bill I brought. I slap it into his hand with an eye roll.

"Told you that you couldn't resist this." He taunts as he crudely grabs his junk.

I start putting my pajamas back on to make the 200 foot walk of shame back to the guest room.

"So are you excited for tomorrow?"

I nod, smiling brilliantly and blushing like an idiot.

He leans over and kisses my cheek. "Me too."

Throwing on his boxers, he walks me to his door. "I'll meet you at the altar, my Bella."

"Yeah, I'll be the liar in white." I say with a snort and a smirk since it is obvious that my fiancé just had his wicked, wicked way with me.

He smiles his crooked grin as I kiss him quickly and tip-toe quietly back to my room.

~IYR~

I expect the morning of my wedding to be pure chaos, but it's not, it's actually quite pleasant. Victoria is successful in making my hair and make-up look natural but glamorous. As far as I can tell she is a goddamn miracle worker for the way she conceals the circles under my eyes. Now no one will be the wiser of my late night activities with my fiancé, although I have a sneaking suspicion that Esme is on to me.

"Shit!" Rose shouts as she stuffs tissues into her bra. "I forgot my nursing pads; I am going to leak all over my dress."

"I'm sorry, what?" Tanya asks with a disbelieving look. "They leak?"

I am pretty sure if there were a jukebox in the room it would skip bringing the music to a screeching halt.

Rose looks at her like she has a third tit. "Uh yeah. They leak. You should see them sometimes in the shower; I look like that one Katy Perry video where she squirts icing everywhere."

Truthfully, I think we all could have done without the shower visual, but when I see the look on Tanya's face, it is more than fucking worth it.

"Ugh, I am going to vomit. Tell me again why you subject yourself to that."

And so it begins, the breast is best discussion. I tune out and look in the mirror as I notice my mom and Esme proudly beaming behind me. I smile back through the reflection. My dad is at my side in an instant looking slightly verklempt.

"It's showtime ladies… and Charlie!" Alice yells over the noise. "Rose, are your boobs under control or do you need a couple of bra cups?"

My poor dad cringes and may or may not swallow back some vomit.

"I think I'm good just as long as Liam keeps it together." Rose says inspecting her chest making sure that her tits are even with the stuffing.

"You look beautiful baby girl!" My mom whispers in my ear as Phil and Carlisle come to escort her and Esme down the aisle.

"Ya' ready kid?" Charlie says as we link arms, waiting on our cue from Alice.

I can only nod as I am overcome with emotion. The French doors open and Charlie and I step forward. I see him in an instant. He smiles my favorite smile at me. It is the smile from the quad where he set my entire body on fire with a look. It's the smile from the night at my dorm where he made his intentions clear that I was who he wanted. And it is the exact same smile from the night that he asked me to be his wife.

Charlie gives me away and I swear I see his mustache twitch and his eyes tear up. Edward mouths the word 'beautiful' to me as he looks me up and down in my one of a kind Alice Brandon strapless mermaid cut gown. I can feel the blush creep up my cheeks. Standing in front of our friends and family, Edward and I exchange rings and vows and seal them with a kiss.

The rest of the night is pure and utter chaos as we pose for picture after picture, cut the cake, and toss the bouquet and garter. It isn't until Edward pulls me onto the makeshift dance-floor under the stars for our first dance as husband and wife that I finally feel like I can breathe.

Our wedding song starts playing in the background as Edward pulls me close.

"I think I forgot to tell you earlier – Happy Gotcha Day." I say into his ear as our hands intertwine over his heart.

"Mmm. Thank you Mrs. Cullen."

My heart practically beats out of my chest when he says my new name. I love it.

"Are you happy, baby?" I ask quietly meeting his eyes.

"Immensely so," he replies confidently. "Now I have everything I could ever want or need."

I giggle as he nuzzles my neck with his nose. "Is that so? And here I was under the impression that you've had me all along."

He smiles his dazzling smile and kisses me lightly on the lips before speaking against them. "You're my wife and my life… And you'll always be… my Bella."

A/N: And that's all she wrote, dolls! I think I have one more story in me, so if you are interested, make sure to put me on author alert.

Special Thanks:

Lovin Rob - You are a saint for putting up with my brand of crazy. Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of the encouragement, the hand-holding, the pimpage, the laughs and the ungodly amount of hours you spent making this story fit for public viewing. I will never be able to find the words to truly express my gratitude for all that you've done – just know that I love and appreciate you more than you know.

Mr. Lay – In the event that you ever actually do read this fic – thank you for always being so supportive. Whether it was making dinner so I could do review replies or doing the night-time routine so I could finish a chapter – it never went unnoticed. Your quiet encouragement means the world me.

The Reviewers – I think I say some variation of this in my review replies but in all seriousness – I am so grateful for all of your kind words, thoughts and feedback. I've made some wonderful friends through the review/reply process. You guys made this so much fun for me, so thank you!

Recs:

Alphabet Weekends by the-glory-days – I still love every minute of this story – sweet, funny and S-E-X-Y.

Burn by Compass54 – this is a new WIP and it has me hooked – check it out

As always, thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, fav'd, followed, rec'd, pimped, tweeted and lurked this fic!

Stay classy, fandom! LayAtHomeMom – OUT!