Stan was determined to find Hayley! He knew that she must know where Francine was, and he would stop at nothing to get the information from her. But instead of finding Hayley inside her room, he just found Roger instead.
"Hey, Stan, I want Hayley's room," said Roger, who was wearing Hayley's clothing. "My attic gets cold in November."
"Never mind that crap!" growled Stan. "Where's Hayley?"
"I ate her," said Roger.
"You what?" yelled Stan, alarmed. If Hayley was dead, he might never find out where Francine was hiding!
"Of course not, I'm just fucking with you," said Roger. "But that's what I'll do if you don't give me Hayley's room. I'll eat Hayley."
Stan grabbed Roger by the throat and rammed him against the wall.
"AAHHHH! YOU'RE HURTING ME! STOP!" screamed Roger.
"Not until you tell me where Francine is!" demanded Stan.
"I thought you were just looking for Hayley..." gasped Roger.
"This was never about Hayley!" snarled Stan. "This was about punishing Francine for ruining America forever!"
"Francine is in your bedroom," said Roger, weeping. "I think she was hoping you'd bang her tonight."
Stan smiled.
"Thank you for your help, Roger," he said. "I will always appreciate it."
Then he snapped the alien's neck.
As Roger's lifeless body flopped down on the ground, Stan picked up his gun and gave it a gentle kiss.
"Oh, I'll bang you tonight, Francine," he said. "Right between the eyes."