DISCLAIMER: This chapter contains LANGUAGE. As in, the ADULT kind. Oooh. You have been warned! – AE

Chapter Four

Shot in the Dark

I think it's time we give it up

And figure out what's stopping us

From breathing easy and talking straight

The little cracks, they escalated

Before we knew it was too late

For making circles and telling lies

You're moving too fast for me and

I can't keep up with you

Maybe if you slow down for me, I

Could see you're only telling lies, lies, lies

Breaking us down with your lies, lies, lies

When will you learn?

-The Swell Season, Lies

The freezing faucet water was a welcome respite from Relena's hot, salty tears. Heero splashed his face repeatedly, hoping to jar himself awake from what he hoped was just another bad dream. But judging from the sounds of Relena's sobs from the next room over, what had just transpired between them was very real. He hadn't expected this deluge of tears; if anything, he'd have welcomed a good strike on the jaw. Relena certainly had the strength to land a straight punch – he'd taught her as much – but in that moment, she'd been reduced to a whimpering damsel in distress. Him and his toxic words.

Heero stared at his face in the bathroom mirror, bewildered by his own expression. Once he'd made a hasty exit from Relena's room, his composure had crumbled. Now his reflection showed the face of a man in anguish; he looked as though he'd just learned his best friend had been shot. In essence, that was exactly what had just occurred.

Rage filled him then, and the face in the mirror quickly morphed back into its usual grimace. He gave the mirror a solid punch, just for good measure. Picking glass out of his bloody fist, he gave a low growl.

No wonder he was still a virgin.

He knew Relena was, too, therefore he also knew his choice of words would wound her.

Embedded in the lies he told her were grains of truth. After breaking up with Relena, approximately three years ago, and experiencing the college scene, Heero had tried, tried, to think of other girls. Plenty of his school's co-eds were attractive, downright gorgeous, even, and while Heero couldn't bring himself to "date" any of them, he had, for lack of a better term, "hooked up" with a few. But when it came time to do the deed, Heero found that the, well, proper synapses simply stopped firing. So to speak. Maybe it was his "inferiority" complex. Perhaps it was the aftermath of war, post-traumatic stress. Or he could chalk it up to his cluelessness about the opposite sex. But when Heero searched his soul, he knew what was really to blame. His attachment to Relena, whatever it was, kept him from forming other relationships, and eventually drove him back to her side.

Whatever his intentions had been when he rejoined her – to keep an eye on her, keep her safe, try not to fall deeply in love with her – he'd certainly botched his original mission.

The only solution, at the moment, was to get rip-roaring drunk. Heero, unlike most of his fellow ex-soldiers, was not a big drinker—he liked to keep his mind as sharp as possible, in case an enemy was lurking somewhere in the shadows. And since being Relena's protector was a full-time job, Heero wouldn't risk letting his guard down.

But tonight, the liquor cabinet was calling. Knowing his personal "happy hour" would go on the Peacecraft tab didn't stop him, either; at this point, he'd forfeit a year's salary for a drop of whiskey. Heero downed a few shots before slumping onto the couch.

In times like these, a couch was a man's refuge. There was no comfort in the luxurious hotel bed he'd claimed as his; obviously, there was no chance of getting back into her bed, either. No matter how he spun it, he knew there would be no redemption for him tonight. Resigned to his fate, Heero exiled himself to the sofa.

He knew he'd been foolish. And he knew what any other man in his position would've done. As if the universe was taunting him over that fact, his cell phone lit up. He glanced at the caller I.D.—Duo. Heero groaned.

He knew that he shouldn't answer, but just in case it was something important…

"Heero, what the hell?" Duo shouted through the phone.

"Like you should be asking me," Heero muttered. "It's three in the morning. What the hell do you want?"

"I just got off the phone with Relena, wise-guy," Duo spat. "She's all broken up over you, and I want to know what the hell you were thinking!"

"None of your business," Heero snapped.

"Unbelievable," Duo sputtered. "You're even dumber than I thought."

However true, the words made Heero seethe with anger.

"Why the fuck would she call you?" he sneered. It was unlike Heero to lose his cool so quickly. Maybe it was the booze talking.

"She called me because you're a selfish, pathetic, stupid piece of dumbfuck!" Duo belched. Somebody else was a little drunk, too.

Duo's insults, however idiotic, still landed. Heero knew that Duo and Relena were friends, but he never would have pinned him as the one Relena would call up crying in the middle of the night.

"You don't even know what's going on," Heero growled. "You have no idea."

"Yes I do!" Duo shouted with the might of preschooler during recess. "She told me allll about it, buddy boy. And you're screwed. No. You're fucked." Duo seemed particularly fond of this expletive when intoxicated.

Heero sat in silence, lacking an adequate defense. His head was beginning to pound; Duo's screaming over the phone would do that. So would the booze.

"So, now what?"

"Huh?"

Heero hadn't been expecting the question.

"Now what?" Duo repeated, as if he hadn't been heard. "What are you going to do? Dummy," he seemed to add for good measure.

Heero felt a chill, despite the alcohol working its way through his system. He realized too late that he'd left his shirt on the floor in Relena's room.

"Hell if I know," he muttered.

Duo heaved an exasperated sigh. "Do I have to spell it out for you, man? You go in there, and you f—"

"Duo," Heero warned.

"—find a way to apologize," Duo finished. "What'd you think I was going to say?"

Heero rolled his eyes, though Duo couldn't see. "It's not that simple. I can't just go talk to her. She wants nothing to do with me."

"Well, she might, if you man up and apologize. Quit acting like a baby and admit your feelings!" Duo had a tendency to say the same thing twice albeit slightly differently each time, emphasizing his point whether it was necessary or not.

Heero just shook his head, another useless gesture. "It's too late for all that…"

"So you admit it, then."

Heero stopped short. "What?"

"You admit you have feelings for Re-lee-na!" Duo was back to his singsong-y preschool voice.

"I never said what kind of feelings," Heero said quickly, failing to think of a better retort.

"Come on, Heero, just between us guys…"

"You sound like a girl."

"Aw, come on, man! I'm serious here." Duo paused, waiting for Heero to answer. After a beat, he plowed ahead. "Fine. Will you just tell me one thing?"

"What?" Heero grunted, growing more and more irritated as the seconds ticked by.

"What are they like?"

"What are who like?"

"Not who! Them. You know—the twins. The girls. I mean, Relena's a pretty skinny girl and all, but she's got some major knock—"

Heero tossed his phone over the couch before Duo could finish. He'd heard more than enough for one night.

So. Relena hadn't been sobbing all by her lonesome; she'd called up Duo and given him an earful. Even though Heero wasn't sure why, it was a bit of a game-changer. Emboldened by both his annoyance with Duo and the bottle of whiskey he'd polished off, Heero found himself banging on Relena's door.