Author's Note: Hi, everybody! We are proud to present Chapter Seven of Midnight Snow. Thanks for reading folks, and we hope you enjoy! :D
WARNING: Upcoming warnings of RenRuki and IchiHime. Please feel free to criticize my writing, but not the pairings. Thank you.
Normal = prose, italics = thoughts or inner conversations
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its characters. They belong to Tite Kubo. However, if there was an alternate universe where I do own Bleach, I will promptly give my left arm to switch with my other self. I also do not own any of the chapter titles. Cookies for anyone who guesses which poems they're from. :)
Chapter Seven: Broken Dreams May Find Your Heart at Dusk
i.
He dreamed of midnight snow and icy darkness, of deadened silence and endless night. He dreamed of a castle made of shadows haunting the edge of his inner world. He stood alone in the middle of the frozen landscape, which stretched as far as the eye could see, stopped only by the mountains and the castle in the east.
He dreamed of howling winds and biting cold and the full, tearing violence that was at the heart of winter.
There were no dragons.
He dreamed of a voice, a woman's voice, soft and low and filled with laughter. Who was it? If she spoke just a little louder, he was sure he would be able to figure out her identity…if the wind would just stop for a second…
And then it did.
And so silence reigned, cold and eerie. It pressed down on him, a heavy, chilling load which pushed against his skin, invaded the marrow of his bones, wrapped its icy hands around his heart. It was a silence that reached into the very deepest part of his soul, a silence that he'd touched again and again over the years, a silence that he knew well, a silence as familiar as an old friend, a silence as unsettling as an ancient enemy.
It was the silence of death.
He shivered from the weight of it and drew in a breath to break it, dispel it, shatter it—
—but he never got the chance, because she broke it for him.
"You are failing us," she whispered, she screamed. Her voice was as deafening as the strongest maelstrom, as quiet as the smallest breath of air. "You are failing her." Her voice was a condemnation, an accusation, an outcry of anger, and a statement of despair all in one. "You are failing her!"
The wind came roaring back and splintered the silence.
The dragon, the one made of cloud and wind and wrath, appeared before him. The winds circled around her, pushing against him and almost driving him to his knees. She was screaming with rage, shrieking with near hopelessness, sounding a battle cry of sadness and intense agony.
"My mistress is dying! She is dying while you do nothing!"
He screamed back, "What do you want? I don't even know who you're talking about!" But his words were stolen by the winds, swallowed up by the storm. In response, the dragon only threw her head back and howled so loudly that the skies broke apart into a million tiny shards, all of them falling, falling, falling down like jagged rain, like broken tears that pierced his skin and consumed him. He was bleeding, gasping, dying—
And he opened his eyes to the sight of the Kurosakis' living room ceiling. His makeshift bed on the couch was rather disheveled, with his pillow on the floor and his blanket tangled up by his feet. He sat up, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes.
He hissed through his teeth. "Not again." What was wrong with him? The dreams kept on getting worse and worse. Now the dragon was homicidal and enraged, and he didn't have a clue why. Why did she sound so familiar? Who was her master? Why was he supposed to save her, and how was he supposed to do it?
"Why am I having these dreams in the first place?" he grumbled. Sighing in frustration, he threw himself back onto the couch. Reaching out to the nearby coffee table, he picked up his cell phone and checked the time.
4:30 a.m., blinked the screen.
Wonderful. Barely four and a half hours of restless sleep.
Getting up, he made his way over to the restroom, moving his way past the kitchen and stubbing his toe against the table only once (hey, it was pitch-black, and it's not like being a shinigami gave him the ability to see in the dark).
However, once he got there, the doorknob refused to turn. That's when he noticed the note written in glow-in-the-dark marker:
Hello, my lovely future son-in-law! This restroom is temporarily out of order. Please use the one upstairs. :D
Love,
Otou-san
Really.
Really?
This was just ridiculous.
Did Kurosaki-san actually expect him to believe that the downstairs restroom was oh-so-conveniently broken, so of course he had to use the restroom upstairs that coincidently went right past Karin's room?
Snorting, Hitsugaya pushed the door open—only to freeze in surprise.
He stared in disbelief at the spot by the sink where the Kurosaki's downstairs toilet used to be.
In its place was a neon pink note:
Otou-sama told you so. :P
What. The. BLEEP.
Hitsugaya closed his eyes and slowly counted to ten.
Years of dealing with the Kurosakis had taught Hitsugaya that their actions in no way, shape, or form resembled those of a normal person's. As a result, when Kurosaki Isshin randomly started sobbing and tried to hug a two-dimensional poster of his deceased wife (obviously displaying mental instability), or attempted to build a time machine out of an old microwave, a toaster oven, and a hairdryer (blatantly showing a disregard for the laws of physics), or even suggested that he and Kurosaki were in love (…what were you supposed to say to that…?), Hitsugaya no longer saw it as an act of insanity.
It was just Isshin Kurosaki being (stupid, moronic, fiendishly diabolical) Isshin Kurosaki.
Still, even this was a new low for him.
Grumbling, Hitsugaya made his way back to the couch and mutinously flopped down. If Isshin thought Hitsugaya would just blindly follow his agenda, he was gravely mistaken.
Five minutes later, Hitsugaya wrenched the blankets off and muttered under his breath: "Dumb gigai with its stupidly small bladder…what the hell does the research department think it's getting paid for?...damn Kurosaki-san…damn all the Kurosakis, actually…well, except for Karin…why did I let Yuzu-san refill my glass the third time? Why?"
Looking grimly up the staircase, Hitsugaya laid out his options:
1. He ignores his pride, goes upstairs, relieves his bladder, and tries to get back downstairs with the least amount of opportunities for Isshin to take pictures.
2. He ignores his bladder and suffers from kidney failure a century from now...
3. He races up the stairs, kills Isshin Kurosaki before he can take any pictures, goes to the bathroom, and then gets rid of the body at his own convenience.
While he was truly fond of option three, Hitsugaya figured someone would object to the death of the village idiot, even if he figured said village would be a much happier place without one.
So that left option two (his bladder screamed in protest) or option one…which wasn't much better (he could see Matsumoto selling newspapers proclaiming "DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHEN TAICHOU LOST HIS VIRGINITY?").
Hitsugaya thought carefully and went with option one. After all, he was a taichou, wasn't he? One of the most powerful people in Seireitei, yes? He'd faced more deadly opponents than he cared to remember; he could certainly handle one measly madman. He just had to be smart about it.
ii.
Anyone who happened to be awake at 4:15 a.m. and looking through the windows of the Kurosaki household would have noticed something…odd.
Several somethings, actually.
A shape in the darkness, standing near the foot of the stairs.
A brief illumination of light and a glimpse of a creased paper, such as one might see if a flashlight was quickly shined onto a crudely drawn map and hastily memorized.
A shape in the darkness, shifting, almost as if it were tucking a piece of paper and a cylindrical object into its waistband.
Then…nothing.
The casual stalker-like passerby might have then imagined that its earlier observations were figments of its imagination. However, if one were in possession of night vision and a better view of the interior of the house, one would have seen a figure moving rapidly up the stairs in a zigzag fashion. Then, once it reached the second landing, it would have leapt up and run along the wall, landing briefly on the third step of the second flight of stairs before jumping onto the handrail, balancing on it for a few seconds, and then somersaulting onto the floor of the hallway. The figure would then tumble, crawl, stand and pause, sidestep carefully, then nimbly skip its way down the hallway and stop on the third door to the right. It opened it and quickly slipped in, shutting the door closed.
(It did not, I repeat, did not pause imperceptibly before the first door to the left.)
Even more impressive than the display of acrobatics was the fact the figure did all this without making a single sound.
Well, right until he flushed the toilet and washed his hands, that is.
Walking out of the restroom, Toushirou eyed the hallway contemplatively. He was reasonably certain that Kurosaki-san hadn't put any actual traps there—probably just posted a camera somewhere, but still. It was best to be cautious.
He placed a hand on the wall and stepped forward, preparing to launch himself sideways and bypass the floor entirely (he didn't feel like repeating the experience of skipping like a first-grade girl playing hopscotch), when the spot beneath his foot started glowing.
What the—
SHING.
Hitsugaya lifted his foot immediately, but it was too late. The bakudo spell had been activated, and he was hanging from the ceiling by his left foot like some sort of drunken fruit bat before he could even blink, much less speak a counter-spell.
The map hadn't said there would be any traps there! screamed a tiny part of Hitsugaya's mind. The rest of it was going, WHY ARE THERE ACTUALLY TRAPS THERE?
You trusted the word of Kurosaki Isshin? Not your wisest decision, my master, Hyourinmaru pitched in, amused, before retreating back into their inner world.
Oh, shut up while I get myself out of this mess. Hitsugaya rolled his eyes and set about preparing the proper chant, when he heard a manic-sounding snicker come from behind him.
Hitsugaya groaned. Don't tell me…
"Aha!" whispered a particularly dramatic-sounding voice. "I have caught you, my misguided prey! Tonight is not the night you shall achieve your dastardly goal of deflowering my fair, maidenly daughter!"
Isshin popped up in front of him, his face illuminated by a flashlight as he gleefully crouched down to Hitsugaya's head-level, which was about two feet off the floor. Hitsugaya squashed the urge to knock him unconscious with a kick from his free leg and instead took a deep breath before speaking. "Hello, Kurosaki-san. I'm afraid you are mistaken. I was merely trying to get back to the living room after using the restroom. I had no intention of disturbing Yuzu-san, whom I assume is the daughter you are referring to, as Karin is neither fair-haired nor maidenly, though I did not intend to wake her either. Kindly let me down, please, so I can continue to not disturb them."
There. He thought he sounded quite reasonable, given the situation.
Isshin merely waggled his finger at him, which was somehow more annoying from an upside-down perspective. "Nuh-uh! Pretty words will not save you, my boy! You clearly exited Karin's room!" He tapped the door Hitsugaya had indeed vacated, raising his eyebrows expectantly.
"…that's the restroom, Kurosaki-san."
Isshin blinked, opened the door, stuck his head in, closed it, and blinked again. "Oh. Hmm. That's odd."
Hitsugaya scowled. "What's odd? And would you please let me down already?"
Isshin pushed him to the side and walked around him. "Of course, of course, my lovely future-son-in-law. I just have to figure out how you're suspended from the ceiling. I could have sworn I put the hanging snare in front of Karin's roo—"
Twang.
SWOOSH.
"Ah! Here it is!"
Hitsugaya could only stare in disbelief as Isshin grinned at him, suddenly right-side up again as he, too, swung gently from the ceiling.
"What the hell is wrong with you? How could you not know where your own traps are?" he shouted. Or, well, shout-whispered. No point in waking Karin and have her laugh her butt off at the sight of him.
Isshin pouted. "But I do know where my traps are! I said there should be one in front of Karin's door, and there was! I even identified the type!"
"Then why didn't you avoid it like any sane person would—never mind. Forget I said anything. Just make yourself useful and undo the bakudo on me since you obviously don't know where you placed all the traps, especially since you forgot to mark the one that's holding me up on the stupid map!"
"So you did use it!"
"That's not the point!"
"Actually, it is the point since all my traps were on the map. And I can't use bakudo spells anymore. So that trap isn't mine."
"…then whose trap am I in?" Hitsugaya said threateningly. Isshin merely shrugged, then tensed as footsteps padded down the hallway from Yuzu's room.
"Taichou~! My, my, my, what a surprise! I can't believe you tried to sneak into Karin's room!" Matsumoto's signature giggle rang out, causing Hitsugaya to groan internally. Of course his fukutaichou would set up her own traps. Of course. After all, it wasn't as if Kurosaki Isshin had a monopoly on insane behavior.
Matsumoto, who was making her way without the aid of a flashlight, reached out and smacked Hitsugaya's leg.
Hitsugaya lost his tenuous hold on his temper. "Matsumoto! Let me down this instant!"
"Now, now, Taichou, just because I caught you red-handed doesn't mean you should—"
"Nobody caught me doing anything other than trying to use the restroom! Kami-sama, the next person who accuses me of trying to break into Karin's room is going to get their ass handed to them on a frozen platter!"
Matsumoto frowned. "But this is Karin's room, right?"
"It's the restroom."
"No," Matsumoto gasped, reaching for the doorknob. "Really?"
"Yes, really." For the love of Kami-sama, was he the only person in this house who knew where everything was supposed to be located?
"I checked!" Isshin cheerfully added.
"Oh, Isshin-san! I didn't see you there! Are you trying to get to the restroom? I'll move Taichou out of your way in just a second."
"Ah, no, actually. You see, I was dutifully minding my own business when—"
"He managed to get himself caught in his own trap and is stuck in the same predicament as myself. And what part of ensnaring your houseguest is minding your own damn business?"
"When it prevents said houseguest from ravaging my beautiful daughter!"
Matsumoto nodded happily. "How admirable! You're such a devoted father, Isshin-san! Here, why don't I grab some scissors from the kitchen and cut you down. Then we can take embarrassing photos of Taichou together."
"A genius plan! I expect no less from the ally who had the same idea to trap my most devious future-son-in-law in flagrante delicto!"
"You're both lunatics! Now somebody get me down this instant!"
Matsumoto, gifted with years of selective deafness, ignored him and made for the stairs. Regrettably, she also ignored Isshin's sudden warning: "Oh, wait a sec—"
Click. SWISH. "Ahhhh!"
"—ond-I-think-I-put-a-trap-there. Ah, well. Too late now, I suppose."
Matsumoto was also suspended from the ceiling, this time in some sort of net. Hitsugaya could just barely see her flailing beyond Isshin, who speaking again. "Rangiku-chan, do not struggle, you'll activate the alarm system."
WOOOOOOO. WOOOOOOO.
"Oh, dear. There we go again. My timing tonight is not going well."
WOOOOOO. WOOOOOOO.
"You! Idiotic! MADMAN!" Hitsugaya raged, struggling against his bonds. For the love of Kami-sama, which moron had the bright idea to put reiatsu suppressors in gigais? "Turn the damn thing off! You're going to wake the whole neighborhood up!"
WOOOOOOO. WOOOOOOOOO. WOOOOOOOOO.
Isshin might have made a sound that may or may not have been a reply, but he was cut short by the rather painful impact of Karin's bedroom door slamming into his face and upper extremities.
"What the hell is going on here?"
iii.
After saying goodnight to Toushirou, Karin had retreated to her bedroom, her mood still buoyed up by the events of the day. It really was good to have her best friend back in town. Plus, her brother and his friends were back, too, a whole group of highly entertaining shinigami were visiting, Rukia and Renji were finally going to tie the knot in a week, and tomorrow she'd kick Toush's butt in soccer.
Life was looking pretty good.
With that thought, she drifted off to sleep, a smile still playing about her lips as she closed her eyes—
—only to open them to the utter darkness of a moonless night, of a starless sky.
Blackness surrounded her, trapped her, left her with nothing to see or guide her. Shadows draped themselves around her eyes, as tangible as silken shrouds binding her, blinding her—her sight lost, taken, stolen by the dark.
Silence pressed down upon her, as heavy as chains, as solemn as death, endless and implacable. She drew breath to break it, stopping when she realized that not even her swift inhalation made a sound, that not even her beating heart could be heard.
Cold, unyielding stone met her fingers as she stretched out a hand, pressed her palm to the wall and gently pushed, using the steady surface to ground herself. Smooth, cool marble graced her feet as she walked forward into the darkness. Biting breezes and gentle snow kissed her face as at last she reached the familiar edge of her balcony, leaving her bare to the sky.
Night had claimed her for its own: shadows formed her very bones, silence formed her very breath, winter formed her very blood.
For one perfect, fleeting moment, she and the night were one.
Then lightning obliterated the darkness, thunder shattered the silence, and out of the storm emerged her dragon, head reared back as she screamed anguish and defiance. Karin's eyes met the dragon's gaze as her hands sought out something, anything, to hold on to as a thousand howling winds raged against her.
"What do you WANT?" she screamed.
Miraculously, the dragon heard her over the din. "I want what I have always wanted. I want you to listen to me. Listen!"
"I am listening!" Karin brought her fist down upon the balcony railing, frustrated.
"Then why do you not hear me? Why do you ignore my warnings? We are in danger—you are in danger!"
"I'm in danger? From what! Would you stop your cryptic mumbo-jumbo and just say what you mean for once!"
The storm grew worse as the dragon drew itself up and looked directly at her. Karin stared straight into her eyes, a part of her mind noting that the dragon's irises were the same dark gray as her own. "Very well, mistress. Let me be clear."
Lightning split the sky, illuminating the dragon's elegant face and ominously revealing the quiet fear in her eyes.
"You are going to die."
"What!" screamed Karin, but her voice was drowned out by the clap of thunder and the wailing wind. "What do you mean I'm going to die?"
The dragon opened its mouth to answer but the gales finally managed to pry Karin's fingers loose, and the screaming storm echoed in her ears as she closed her eyes—
And opened them once again to utter darkness and an awful sound.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOO. WOOOOOOOOOOOO. WOOOOOOOOOOOO.
What the freakin' hell?
Karin climbed out of bed and threw open the door, ready to kick the ass of whoever had rudely interrupted her sleep.
iv.
As an irate Kurosaki Karin stepped into the hallway, Hitsugaya was filled with a sense of relief. "Kurosaki! Over here! I need your help!"
WOOOOOOOOO. WOOOOOOOOO.
"Toush? Is that you? What are you doing over there? And why are you—are you tied up—whoa!"
Unfortunately for all parties involved, this was the moment when the laws of motion decreed that Isshin (who had been launched through the air when Karin opened her door) had gathered enough momentum and met enough resistance (via the snare holding him in place) to swing back in a graceful arc and collide directly with his daughter.
Hitsugaya could only watch in horror as she stumbled forward.
Thwang. "What the—hey!" Thump. Thump. "There's something around my ankles!" Thump. Thump. "Goat-chin, I'm going to murder you!"
WOOOOOOO. WOOOOOOOOOOOO.
"Karin, my most beautiful daughter! Please smack the wall right there! Yes, there!"
"You crazy bastard, I'm gonna smash your face in!" Thunk.
The alarm mercifully cut off. Isshin's cheerful voice sounded much clearer. "Now watch out, you don't want to accidentally trigger—"
Thunk. BOOM.
"Why is the wall glowing?" Karin screamed.
"Oh, that's one of mine!"
"Matsumoto? Oh, I should've known you—gah!"
Karin was propelled forward as a glowing net-like bakudo erupted from the wall, sending her crashing straight into Hitsugaya and resulting in a messy tangle of arms, legs, and other angry teenage body parts.
Hitsugaya thought to himself, I knew I should have gone with option three.
v.
In the last five minutes or so, she was forcibly woken from her dream/nightmare (Right when it was getting to the good part, too), subjected to ear-piercing wails (Why the hell didn't Yuzu wake up? Kami, she really does sleep like the dead), viciously attacked by her father (Of course he'd be successful when he wasn't even trying), made to hop around with her feet bound like some demented bunny (Who the freak sold Goat-chin bolas? I'm gonna kill Urahara if it was him), caught in some sort of high-level kido spell-thing (Matsumoto's definitely third on my hit list), and was now forced into new levels of physical intimacy with her best friend (Bleep).
"Kurosaki, would you please stop wiggling?" Toushirou said, his words slightly muffled against her shins.
That, of course, only caused her to wiggle more.
"Toush, stop talking, it tickles!" she hissed back, trying to ease her arms out of the spell they were caught in. Luck wasn't on her side, though, and the glowing bonds didn't budge an inch as they kept her arms curled around Toushirou's knees. "Fantastic. I can't move at all. You?"
"Not really, no. My maneuverability was limited in the first place, and you getting stuck to me made it worse."
Matsumoto's kido spell was meant to act as a sideways, sticky net-thing that would leave its intended victim plastered against the wall. Unfortunately, Toushirou happened to be closer, so the force of the spell threw Karin against him—she'd already been unsteady from the bolas tying her ankles together, so she'd flung her arms around the nearest semi-steady object, which happened to be Toushirou's legs. The spell then wrapped the two of them together like some freakish sushi roll, with Karin's bound feet hovering a few inches above the ground and her face pressed against his knees, and Toushirou's head was nestled against her thighs and his arms were locked around her lower back. Their bodies were pressed tightly together and they had no way to extricate themselves from the situation without some…creative shifting.
"Oh, Kami, I'm going to have to shimmy my hips or something, aren't I?" Karin groaned.
"Do not. Even. Dare."
"Oh, yeah, that'd be really awkward for you, huh?" Karin could feel where his head rested near said hips.
"That's the understatement of the century, Kurosaki." Toushirou shook his head, which again caused Karin to involuntarily wiggle.
"I thought I told you to stop moving."
"You stop it, Toush! Your stupid gravity-defying hair is tickling my shins."
"Well, actually, if you think about it, since I'm upside down it's obeying gravity for once, isn't it?"
"Who cares? Quit moving your head, or I swear I'm gonna kick you so hard not even Hime-nee will be able to fix your face!"
"If you can accomplish that feat in your current position, then you should use your flexibility to get us out of this mess!"
"Argh! You can be so—so—"
"So what?"
"Annoying!"
And so it went for the next ten minutes.
vi.
Meanwhile, Matsumoto and Isshin were watching in fascinated silence from the other end of the hall—or, well, listening, as it was too dark to actually see anything.
"Hmmm. I have to say the initial plan to capture some blackmail photos is failing miserably," Isshin said.
"Yeah, it really is, isn't it? And now they're fighting…"
"You don't think we can interpret it as them releasing steam from all their pent-up sexual tension?"
"…"
"…I suppose not."
"…what are you guys doing?"
Isshin blinked in surprise at the new voice. "Kon? Is that you? I wasn't aware that you were home!"
The stuffed lion was peeking its head out from the second door on the right—the room Yuzu was currently sharing with Matsumoto.
"Yeah, well, something or another happened, and I thought it might be nice to come back and visit for a while," Kon replied a tad defensively.
Isshin grinned. "Ah! I see. Lirin caught you flirting with some high-schoolers, and the subsequent damage to your human gigai was so bad that you had to use your old body while Urahara was fixing it, right? Why didn't you just say so? We'd have welcomed you back with open arms!"
Kon stared at the upside-down man. "Because when you say it like that it sounds pathetic. And people won't make fun of me if they don't know I'm back."
"And it makes it easier to spy on visitors like Matsumoto-chan here, hmm?"
Kon shuffled his feet. "That, too."
"Hey! I knew that somebody was peeping, but Yuzu-chan didn't believe me!" Matsumoto said. "Even when I told her my pervert-sensor was never wrong!"
Isshin nodded sagely. "Ah, yes. Pervert-sensors never steer you wrong."
Kon waved his hands. "Back to the subject, people. Why the hell is everyone tied up, and why are those two lovebirds over there yelling loud enough to wake the dead? Are you guys shooting some sort of weird BDSM porno I'm not aware of? I gotta tell you, I don't think Yuzu-chan's going to stand for it, and she's gonna wake up any second now, what with the racket and everything." He waved a paw at Karin and Hitsugaya, who by this time had finally wound down and noticed the new presence.
"Kon? Is that you? Cut us the hell down! Right now! Or I'm telling Yuzu!"
Kon jumped guiltily and ran towards them. "Okay, okay! No need to threaten a man, geez."
Matsumoto looked in Isshin's general direction. "She didn't actually finish that threat. What would she tell Yuzu-chan?"
"If Kon is involved, trust me, Matsumoto, there's something," Karin said. "Now move faster, you perverted stuffed animal!"
"Hey, hey! Give me some time here—I have to fetch scissors. It's not like these teeth are real!"
Kon made his way through Yuzu's doorway, only to get stomped on by a bunny slipper-clad foot.
"Oof!"
"Oh, shit. Yuzu's awake." Karin sounded horrified. Beyond her, Hitsugaya could hear Isshin's audible gulp and Matsumoto's gasp.
"Is that a bad thing? Your sister is arguably the most competent person in your family, Kurosaki."
"Shhh! Keep quiet. We're dealing with Yuzu in her natural state."
"…natural state?"
"Shhh," came from Karin, Isshin, and Matsumoto.
"Matsumoto, did you just—"
"Shhh! You haven't seen her like this, Taichou!"
Silence filled the hallway as Yuzu calmly stepped out of her room—and just stood there.
"Kurosaki, don't you think we should ask her for help?" Hitsugaya whispered.
"It all depends," she murmured back.
"On what?"
"On the timing. It's five o'clock, right?"
"It should be by now."
"Then we'll probably be safe. We just have to hold on until she walks down the stairs."
"Walks down the—why would we let her go without helping us?"
"Because Yuzu is Mr. Hyde before she's had her coffee! She'll be fine once she's had her first cup and started breakfast and watched the sun rise a little—then she'll walk back upstairs to make her bed and it'll be safe to ask for her help then."
"…that could take an hour."
"You're right. We'll have Kon risk his life and cut us down, then you can do your voodoo magic—"
"Kido."
"—voodoo magic, you can sneak downstairs, I'll go back to bed, and everything'll be fine."
"What about us?" Isshin stage-whispered.
"Who the hell cares about you? It's your own damn fault you're in that mess, and for all I care you can hang there as my punching bag until—oh, oh, she's moving. And—oh, no, she's muttering this morning."
Yuzu was indeed muttering something that suspiciously sounded like: "…break…mutter…head…mutter...keen…mutter…lung…mutter…cook…mutter…"
"What is she saying?" Hitsugaya asked, horror-struck.
Yuzu cut off suddenly right before she reached Isshin, raising her finger: "Make breakfast, head to market, clean living room, do laundry, then cook dinner." She tilted her head to the side. "That should be it." Nodding decisively, she stepped forward and ran into Isshin.
"Oof!"
"Rrrrgh!"
Yuzu reached out a hand and punched Isshin in the gut.
"Ow!"
"Stupid Karin, leaving her stupid equipment everywhere, why do I even bother, stupid, stupid, stupid." Each word was punctuated with an additional punch.
"Is that Yuzu?"
"Who else would it be, Toush?"
"But she's beating up your father!"
"Hey, don't you know it's always the nice ones who are the scariest? Now be quiet, you don't want her to focus on us instead."
"D-darling Yuzu-chan! It's your beloved Tou-san!" Isshin said.
For the first time that morning, Yuzu fully opened her eyes, taking the sight of her bruised and battered father in. "Oh. It's you. I should have known." Her voice was absolutely dripping in loathing.
"Yes, yes, it's Tou-san! Now—ow, ow, ow!"
Yuzu resumed punching him. "Stupid Daddy, always making a mess, never cleaning up, constantly yelling, yelling, yelling, why can't you ever shut up for once, punching Ichi-nii, kicking doors down, putting holes in the wall. Who do you think does the plastering, huh, punk? Huh?"
Karin groaned softly. "Ohh, she's lost it now."
"—and the cooking, don't even get me started on the cooking. One thing, I give you one thing to do, and of course you burn it, you always burn it. And your beard, too! That cost ¥2500 (A/N: Approximately $28.00). The lamb, not your beard, don't be stupid! And why can't you ever be nice to guests, no wonder Toushirou-kun won't ask Karin out, and no wonder Onii-chan never visits anymore, and no wonder Rukia-nee-chan isn't staying with us! Hn! And the wedding—so much to do, so much work I put in, and do I get any help from you? No! I hate you!"
"Oh, yeah," Matsumoto whispered. "Here comes the killing blow."
Yuzu raised her hands in a karate chop. Isshin frantically tried to get out of his bonds.
"D-darling, stop! You don't want to do this!"
Yuzu scowled. "Shut up, this is my dream. You don't get to talk unless you're screaming."
"D-dream?"
"Yeah. Obviously. You're tied up, and Karin's hugging Toushirou-kun, and Rangiku-san is cheering me on, and I'm squishing Kon-san underfoot. It's my favorite dream again, right?"
"She thinks it's a dream?" Hitsugaya said.
"She's had this one before?" Karin said.
"Of course I've had this one before. I always get nice dreams when I cook those nice mushrooms from Urahara-san for dinner."
"She buys mushrooms from Urahara?" Kon asked, sounding as if he was mentally scarred for life. "I've eaten dinner here!"
"Well, that explains my hallucinations earlier," Matsumoto chipped in.
"Mm-hm. Aren't they nice? Now, Daddy, it is time for justice to be served. Farewell. I will not miss you, and I never liked your whistles."
She pulled a pair of scissors from behind her back.
Kon blinked. "So that's where they were."
"Oh, shit. Yuzu, don't! It's not a dream, it's not a dream, wake up!" Karin screamed.
Yuzu paused mid-stab. "Huh. That's funny. Usually you're cheering me on by now, Karin."
"And in any other situation, believe me, I'd tell you to go for it, but this is reality! Reality! And that'll be real blood bursting out of his heart."
"That sounds nice."
"No, no, no! It's—it'll—it'll stain the bunny slippers Jinta bought you!"
Yuzu looked down. "Oh, you're right." She looked mournfully at Isshin's gut. "Maybe some other dream. I have to go make breakfast now." And she walked calmly away, tossing the scissors carelessly aside.
"Ouch! The bitch stabbed me!"
"Shut up, Kon, she can sew you back up again later."
"But she'll put the flowers and the bonnets on me again!"
"If you want, there's always Ishida. He's back in town for the wedding, too."
"Him, then, him!"
"Of course, Nemu-san's staying with him, and I'm sure she'd love to examine you."
"Never mind, crazy bitch it is!"
"Oh, why hello there, Matsumoto-san. That net looks particularly fetching on you. Is Hisagi-san into mermaid-cosplay now?"
"…"
"I'll take that as a yes. Don't worry, secret's safe with me. Good-bye now, and don't let the madman out of his chains. I'll be back for him later."
"…is she gone now?" Kon asked. "And why didn't you tell me she was still in earshot!"
"Shut up, remove the scissors from your chest, and cut us down. Now."
"Yes, ma'am."
vii.
Fifteen minutes, the two of them were sprawled on the couch, their heads resting at opposite ends.
"…Kurosaki, I'm never sleeping over again. Ever."
"Can't say I blame you, Toush."
"You never thought to warn me about your sister's homicidal alter-ego?"
"Well, she never really pops up that often. Only when Yuzu's particularly stressed."
"Really?"
"Yeah, usually she limits herself to grievous bodily harm, not murder."
"…"
"…okay, that sounded better in my head."
"Why doesn't anybody stop her?"
"The only people she attacks are my father and my brother. And they're pretty much indestructible, so it's okay. Besides, whenever we try to tell her, she just looks at us funny and demands to take our temperature."
"She doesn't believe you? Or remember?"
"Well, you wouldn't believe it if you hadn't seen it. And, no, I don't think so. It's kind of her subconscious desires and repressed issues coming out."
"Her instincts tell her to kill your father?"
"Wasn't that what you wanted to do earlier?"
"Point taken."
"Uh-huh."
"She has good instincts."
"Right?"
"Right."
"…"
"…"
They lay quiet for a while before Karin shifted a little, her movements a little discomfited.
"Hey, Toush?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you mind if I just stayed here? I have to get up in a few hours anyway and—and—"
"It's fine."
"Oh. Good."
"Mm." He threw an arm over his eyes.
"…you really don't mind?"
"Why would I mind?" he mumbled, already halfway back to sleep.
"Well, earlier, when we were—and now, since I'm—and I just want to make sure it's not weird for you, being a guy and all."
He sat up and stared at her. "Kurosaki, do not believe my fukutaichou. Nothing about my feelings toward you would make close proximity with you awkward, so long as you do not feel the need to forcibly tie me to you upside down." Having said his piece, he dropped back onto the cushions.
She giggled. "That was awkward, wasn't it, Toush?"
"Mm."
"…"
"…"
"Still awake?"
"Hn."
"Toush…?"
"Mmrm."
"It's just…I had a weird dream tonight."
"…"
"…Toush?"
"…"
"You there?"
"…"
Karin let out a deep breath. "Good night, Toushirou. I'll tell you in the morning."
And with that, Karin fell back asleep, curled next to the person she trusted most in the whole world, separated only by silence, shadows, and secrets.
Endnote: The last chapter title is also the title of the poem from which it came, "When a Beggar Beholds You," author unknown, translated from the Chinese by. Thank you for reading. :)
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