Chapter Thirty: Rosemarie's Revenge
"Evans," James hissed, "pssst. Evans." He glanced over to make sure McGonagall wasn't looking, then waved a hand in Evans's face.
"I'm listening to our lesson," Evans said to him as if she'd spoken to him only once before in her life. Polite. Indifferent. Snape was watching them, because of course he was. James had almost sprinted to class to be sure he'd get a seat next to Evans, who'd been ignoring him for practically a week now, and he'd still only just gotten there ahead of Snape and his stalker arse. (Irony was lost on James, when it came to Evans.)
"You already know how to turn a picture frame into a decorative bowl," James hissed, "you could do it in your sleep. So could I. Listen, are you going to keep changing the patrol schedule? Do I have to involve Dumbledore in this?"
"Why should it matter who I patrol with?" Evans said, turning to him with her eyebrows politely raised as McGonagall helped Pete with a sigh as his picture frame turned into a plastic potted plant instead. "I don't see how this is something worthy of bothering the headmaster with."
Sirius was staring out the window. It had been a common sight the last few days, and James theoretically wanted to know why, but he was in too much agony to try to find out. Remus could take over on Sirius wrangling, for once, if he wasn't too busy sniffing Hermione's knickers in her trunk like a total weirdo, or whatever he'd been doing. There was no point in asking Pete to do it. He had no stealth, Pete.
"Because he specifically requested we do it together, remember?" James hissed, one eye darting to McGonagall, who was now helping Quorty with a pained grimace. Quorty had turned his picture frame into a smelly sock. "In our last meeting with him? He said it was important that we patrol–"
"I don't see why," Evans said, apparently totally unaffected by James's suffering, "we can patrol just as well with–"
"Listen, I'm sorry," James said, for every time he'd tried to say it, he'd mysteriously trip and fall down the stairs mid sentence, or get interrupted by one of Evans' girlfriends who desperately needed help only the Head Boy could provide, or Snape would pop up, grinning, and then Evans would vanish. "I was pushed onto her, you know!"
Evans changed her picture frame into a purple glass bowl and back with a lazy flick of her wand. "Sorry?" she said politely, looking at James like he was a stranger again.
"Yes, I'm sorry," he said, tongue feeling like it was twelve times the size it should be, "I didn't–I mean it wasn't fun, I would've rather–"
"I don't know what you are talking about, Potter," Evans said, still in that distant tone, "am I supposed to be upset at you about something?"
James stared at her, at a loss. Where was his best gal pal when he needed her! He desperately needed a translation. A clue. Anything!
"I–I kissed Hermione! I mean, Snape forced me to, it wasn't our fault!" He was talking so quietly so McGonagall wouldn't murder him that his lips barely moved.
"Oh, that," Evans said, like she had forgotten it entirely, "why would I care about that? Frankly, I'm just relieved you've moved on. I was getting very sick of your little prank, Potter."
"My what?" James said blankly.
"You know," Evans said, now looking at him full on. "Your fun seven year prank on me. About how you like me. Well, you had to crack sometime, Potter. I'm sure it was funnier to you and your mates the longer it went on, but now you've ruined the gag. Bad luck to you."
James was speechless. It didn't happen often. Had it ever happened to him? James always had a witty comment. Always!
"A–a prank? It–I wasn't–" McGonagall came closer and he bent over his frame, feverishly changing it to a bowl the exact green of Lily's eyes and then back to a frame that was now shaped like a heart, a deep red, just like her hair. McGonagall nodded once then moved on to Snape, who'd been eyeballing James and Lily.
"I can't believe you kept it up that long," Evans said, "I didn't know you were so patient. But it's okay, Potter, I'm not mad. It's not like I ever fell for it."
"But I–what do you mean, I wasn't playing a prank–"
"I knew it was a joke," Evans enunciated, like he didn't get the horrible things she was saying, the way she was ripping out James's heart and gnawing on it, "it was a laugh to me as well. So what if you kissed some other girl? I've been kissing other boys."
James fell out of his chair with a bang.
"What?" Snape said loudly.
"You've been having the most wretched period I've ever heard of," Sirius drawled, and Granger jumped, knocking a book off her favorite half hidden table in the library. He picked it up, and read The Ethics of Time Travel on the cover, and then placed it on the desk for her. "Ah. Well this won't stop Remus and James from believing their little fantasy about you."
"I don't understand a single word you just said," Granger said, after she picked up her quill and started chewing on it. "I was just here studying last period. And I wasn't aware of any fantasy–"
"Period," Sirius said, "isn't that what some of you birds call it? You've been having the worst period in the history of the word, eh? Out of class all week, managed to get your detentions delayed, even when Pomfrey has numerous potions for–"
Granger stared at him like he was a ghoul. "Are you talking about–don't talk about that, Sirius Black! That's–" she was sputtering.
Sirius sat on her study table, taking stock of the bags beneath her eyes, the quill stuck in her hair, the ink on her cheek.
"Shouldn't you be in bed with chocolate and a potion for cramps?" he said, "not studying about time tra–"
Granger shoved at him, clearly intending for him to fall off the table. He didn't even move an inch. Sirius raised an eyebrow.
"It'll take more than that to move this glorious arse, Granger."
"Fine," she snapped, biting her quill again, "what do you want? I don't want a kiss. Caradoc is a liar. Go away."
"Let's see," Sirius said, "agitation? Check. You look like you've been run over by Hagrid on the world's biggest broom? Check. Insisting you aren't dying to kiss me? Checkmate. I suppose you weren't using a lie concocted by Dumbledore. Congratulations. You really are having the worst period ev-"
Granger flung her quill at him. The end she'd been chewing on slapped him in the face.
"No?" Sirius said, "you're saying the moodiness is something else?" He examined the quill. "Well, I guess I should just be grateful you weren't gnawing on a different appendage of mine like that."
Granger went white, then red, then leapt to her feet.
"You disgusting–you pig, you absolute–"
"Great," Sirius said "you've finally stopped ignoring me and hiding from me. Let's talk about the fact that Remus and James think you're a time traveler from the future."
Granger froze like a rabbit caught in a snare. Her left hand twitched, made an involuntary move to her neck then went back down.
"You're wearing it, then?" Sirius said, "we assumed it was in that false bottom in your trunk. Why didn't you hide that robe from James's son there?"
Granger stared at him like she'd never seen him in her life.
"Well?" Sirius demanded.
He'd been amused, Wednesday, after running into Granger with Dearborn, her squeaky voice protests about how she definitely, for sure, didn't want to kiss him cheering him up immensely. But then Granger had been "ill" all week, missing from every lesson, every meal, everywhere Sirius could think of to look for her, until he'd pried the map away from James. James had been staring at the map and eating licorice wands, blathering something about Evans, and then Sirius had spotted Granger in the library, finally, at seven o'clock on a Friday night, when everyone else was having fun like normal young people.
"You are accusing me of things? Again?" Granger said, making a valiant effort to pull herself together, but it was too late.
"I can't believe it," Sirius said, "are you telling me that James was right about you being from the future? That Remus was right to investigate you? That I was right all along?"
"I'm working on a project for Uncle Al," Granger said, her voice still squeaky and wrong, "how many times do I have to explain? I can't tell you everything-"
"Or anything," Sirius retorted.
"-or at the moment, anything about what that entails. Just because I might be…hiding things from you and James, doesn't mean–you're really jumping to wild–"
Sirius leaned forward, fast, and yanked at Granger's robes. They ripped.
"How dare you!"
A time turner fell out, swinging accusatory in his face. They both watched it.
"I can explain," Granger said, her voice low now, and even, like she'd practiced an excuse for this day.
"I'm listening," Sirius said, trying to remain calm. He'd thought his mates were off their rockers. He thought he'd finally let go of thinking Granger was up to something stranger than doing Dumbledore's bidding.
"It goes back hours," she said in a rush, yanking the time turner off her neck, "Here, look!"
Sirius held out a hand, and she dumped the time turner into it.
"Hours only," Granger said, "I swear! Certainly not years."
Sirius examined the time turner closely. His heart slowed down. Maybe he was just desperate to believe her. Maybe she was telling the truth. Maybe she was telling a lie. But at least she wasn't lying about this.
"Hours," he agreed, after handing it back, "how'd you get it? Wait, I know. Dumbledore, for reasons you can't explain."
"Yes," Granger sighed.
"So tell me this," Sirius said, "you're stealing books from my dear former family's library, with my brother's help stealing and his help lying about it. Using time turners. Getting Mayfair and Hughes to make polyjuice potion for you, among other things. Going to Slytherin parties dressed like a tart. You're trying to manipulate my brother into turning away from Voldemort. Thanks for that, by the way. And you can't tell me why you're doing all the rest of it. Not even a hint. So why are you wasting your time going to school at all? Can't you tell me that, at least?"
"No," Granger said, "I can't."
"Fine," Sirius said, "can you tell me anything, anything at all, so I stop wasting my time on you?"
"I've tried to get you to stop wasting your time on me," Granger protested, "I've tried and tried, Sirius! I told you to not worry, I told you and Uncle Al told you, and Caradoc told you, and–"
"Alright," Sirius said, "can you at least tell me one thing. Not to do with your mysterious missions. Don't worry."
"Maybe," Granger said cautiously.
"Do you like me or not?" Sirius asked bluntly, "and don't give me some hogwash about how you admire me as your classmate or you like me as James's friend. You know what I mean. Do you want me, or not?"
Granger snatched back the time turner, placed it around her neck, purposefully not looking at him.
Sirius waited. He wasn't patient. He never had been. He probably never would be. But he waited anyway, just this once.
Granger straightened her robes, repairing the rip, still not looking at him. His silence seemed to be making things worse for her. Good. Her hands were shaking, just a little. Without warning, she looked at him, right in his eyes.
"What do you want me to say, Sirius?"
"The truth," he said, "For once. We both know that I want you, don't we?"
It had been impossible to hide it from her on his birthday, even if he'd wanted to. Not with Remus's weight squishing her into every part of Sirius's body. There was no way she hadn't known. And he was sick of lying to himself about it. Every day in class this week that she hadn't shown up, every night he couldn't find her in the common room with everyone else, every meal she'd been missing from, it had become clearer and clearer to him. Hermione Granger, as much as he didn't want it to be true, was more than a distraction from boredom for him.
"Yes," Granger said, squaring her shoulders, "I know. You'll get over it."
"Will I?" Sirius asked, "who compares to you, future girl?"
"Don't," Granger said, "it's not funny."
"Fine," Sirius said, "who compares to you, Hermione?"
"That's not funny either," Granger said, her shoulders rolling into a forward slump, like she was trying to hide from him. She looked away again, biting her lip.
Well?" Sirius said, "Come one. One little truth. You've told me a thousand lies and half truths. just one. That's all I ask."
Granger took a deep breath, and then looked at him again. "I don't know," she said.
Sirius scoffed.
"I don't," she insisted.
"Either you want me, or you don't," He told her, "Forget worrying about public repercussions. I know that's on your mind. Oh, what will everyone think if I kiss him, everyone will judge me, I'll never hear the end of it, blah blah. If I kissed you, and no one would ever find out, would you want it?"
"I don't know," Granger repeated, voice smaller. She was looking away again.
"Care to find out?" Sirius asked, Gryffindor reckless to the end.
"Yes," she said, voice so tiny Sirius thought he'd imagined it at first.
"Great," he said, not thinking, a Sirius Black specialty that never ended horribly.
Granger was still standing, now almost backed into the nearest window, her eyes wide like she wasn't even sure she'd said yes herself. Sirius got off the library table and walked forward, deliberately slow. She had time to change her mind, to say something, to walk away. She didn't. He reached out, also slowly, his mind a triumphant blank, a roaring in his ears. He pushed back the lock of that horrendous hair that was in his way and leaned forward, his lips on hers for the third time, if you even counted those first two terrible non kisses.
She gave the tiniest noise, and Sirius was sure she was going to push him away, yell at him,
run away, something, but instead, she opened her mouth further and he slid his tongue inside, groaning, not caring if Pince showed up and tried to shove them out the window. Let the old bat try. He had never been into a kiss more in his life, and it was all over a weird girl who wasn't even half as cute as his past girlfriends.
Granger grabbed him by the front of his robes and Sirius waited for a push, but was instead pulled closer, their tongues sliding together, his hand on her side, his body pressing her into the window.
"Well well well," a girl drawled from behind Sirius, and Granger wrenched her mouth from his with a gasp. Sirius ignored the interloper. His mouth was now right below Granger's left ear, and he leaned forward and kissed the skin there, trailing his mouth lower on her neck, sucking a bit. Granger made a little shuddering gasp, her hands clenching on his arms so hard he'd find red marks an hour later.
"Sirius," she hissed, but he ignored her.
She was trying to get away like he'd suspected she would, but only because someone had caught them, not because she didn't want him. Who knew what she would've let happen if they hadn't been found. It was a shocking development, even to Sirius, who took for granted the way he affected girls, according to his mates. He bit lightly on the spot where her neck met her shoulder.
"Sirius!" she hissed louder, "it's–"
"Well don't let me interrupt, Sirius Black," the girl said, "it's only me, after all."
Sirius's own hands clenched on Granger when he recognized the voice, but he refused to give the pestilent bitch behind him the satisfaction of stopping. He sucked harder on the spot, and the sound Granger tried to muffle made him ponder if he could obliviate the annoying fly behind them and continue even further with the girl who he was now willing to admit to himself had been driving him mad for months.
"What do you want?" Granger said in a whispered hiss, clearly trying to avoid accruing another detention from Pince, and she shoved at Sirius's face and he reluctantly detached himself.
They made eye contact. Granger was bright red, her lips wet and slightly puffy, red marks on her neck. There was an angry glitter in her eyes that was doing nothing to lower Sirius's level of painful horniness, though perhaps it should've, if he'd been a normal bloke.
"I warned you about him," Rosemarie said from behind Sirius, and suddenly his anger was back. She'd tried to ruin every relationship he'd had for the past year. It hadn't worked on any other girl, but Granger, as she'd proven repeatedly, was different.
"Piss off," Sirius said coldly, deliberately keeping his left arm around Granger's waist, as he glared back at his ex girlfriend, "I would appreciate it if you'd stop obsessing over me and following me around."
"I told you what he's going to do to you," Rosemarie said, ignoring Sirius utterly, "you really want that to be you, too? Give him your virginity, and then he dumps you three days later?"
Granger untangled herself from Sirius' grasp, not meeting his eyes.
"Who said I'm a virgin?" she said to Rosemarie, voice cold as ice, and she grabbed her books and walked away, fast.
Sirius laughed, too late, from shock.
"I knew I liked her," he said out loud.
"Oh, do you?" Rosemarie said with contempt in her voice, "so what, you'll wait until a whole week after you fuck her to discard her like a used rag?"
"Points for disgusting imagery," Sirius said, "but we both know why I really dumped you, and I don't appreciate you lying about it."
His anger rose again, lighting fast. It was bad enough Rosemarie had turned out to be so terrible of a person, when she'd been one of the only girls to ever really grab his attention. But then he hadn't even been able to tell anyone the truth! He still wasn't able to tell anyone what had happened, those his mates had figured out enough. It had never mattered before, but now–
"I'm telling the truth," Rosemarie lied, "we both know you were playing a game to get me into bed, and then–"
"Why are you lying to me, of all people?" Sirius hissed, "you know you put that hex on me, but that doesn't mean I've forgotten what I can't tell anyone. Unless you thought you obliviated me as well as hexing my tongue shut?"
"Your tongue's hardly been shut," Rosemarie said, blizzard cold in her voice.
Sirius couldn't believe he'd once thought her the most beautiful girl in Hogwarts. Maybe she still was. But he couldn't see anymore how she was clever and charming and gorgeous. All he could see was a bitch who reminded him of his mother.
"You've had it in half the girls in this school, Sirius."
"Jealous?'' Sirius drawled, "no, don't tell me. I know you are." He should've gone after Granger. He realized that immediately after his fight with Rosemarie was over.
"You're disgusting," Rosemarie said, "always thinking everyone's in love with you because you're just so handsome and smart and funny, right? Everyone loves charming
Sirius Black. Why bother being a good human on top of that, eh?"
"Takes one to know," Sirius said furiously, "I'm not the one who–"
"And I haven't been stalking you," Rosemarie said, "you're the one who's lying. We've got homework in Charms, and you're right in front of the books on–"
"Not jealous?" Sirius barked a laugh, "not stalking me? You think I don't know that you practically tackled Sami on a stairwell after you found out we were dating? Just to tell her–"
"I ran into her on my way to class," Rosemarie retorted, "not everything is about you, Sirius! But you never will understand that, will you? You'll go on thinking every girl's mad in love for you because you pick the right girls to manipulate."
"Including you?" Sirius said, his fury, as it often did, rising.
"Including me," Rosemarie hissed, "you preyed on me, Sirius! You're not a nice guy, and I'm sick of you pretending that you are, that I'm the one who is wrong. These girls have to know about you!"
"How was I possibly preying on Sami Greengrass?" Sirius snapped, "she's richer than almost anyone in this school, her parents are the most powerful–"
"She's got it bad for you for years and you know it," Rosemarie said, "and you used her to get back in your parents' good graces for some unknown reason. Which you then blew up immediately, because it's you and of course you did."
"What did you say?" Sirius said slowly. So. Sami had been spilling her guts to Rosemarie, had she? After their deal and all.
"And as for Granger, come on," Rosemarie snorted, "I didn't expect it out of you of all boys, but everyone knows why you're targeting her."
"Oh?" Sirius said icily, "enlighten me. Use your big Ravenclaw brain to explain it to my dumb Gryffindor mind."
After all, Sirius wasn't even sure himself why he'd been drawn to Granger ever since that day in the Muggle pub. He'd only admitted it to himself that he was even drawn to her five minutes ago.
"Well it's a tired tactic I will admit you don't normally have to use," Rosemarie said like she was complimenting him, "you're too popular. But everyone in this school knows you're toying with her because she's ugly and can't get any other boy. So she'll do anything you want, won't she?"
It was the absolute last thing Sirius had expected to hear. "What?" he said blankly.
"Everyone's laughing at her in Slytherin and Ravenclaw," Rosemarie said, "probably Hufflepuff as well, but it's not like they have functional brains, so maybe not. But the rest of us know you're using the weird awkward girl as a toy. I expected better of you. I don't know why I did, but–"
"You fucking bitch," Sirius hissed, "I like her because she's the most interesting girl I've ever met. Sorry I can't say the same for you. I thought you were different, but you're just Genevieve Bletchley in blue instead of green, aren't you?"
"I told you," Rosemarie said, "I didn't mean to–"
"Piss off," Sirius snapped, "now go and run and tell everyone more lies about me and Granger. You think they're laughing at her? They're laughing at you, for being so pathetic about hating any girl I like. Trust me."
And if that wasn't true, Sirius was about to make it true. James, for one, would be more than happy to help Sirius stand up for his best gal pal, even if he'd become significantly more boring since getting the Head Boy badge.
He pushed past his evil ex girlfriend, wondering how many crazy girls one boy could have following him about meddling in his life before he went crazy himself. For Sirius, it was clearly going to happen sooner than for a normal bloke. There was no hope, not with the Black family genes in him.
He stormed past the stack of Muggle paperbacks he'd never spared a glance at but James had attempted to read through as a deranged attempt to impress Evans, even the ones with shirtless men with endless abs on the cover. In the back corner, in a dimly lit spot, he spotted Gifford Goyle and Marvin Mulcibur towering over a short, pudgy guy. The rage, which had been residing and not exploding only due to eighteen years of being told attacking a girl made you a bit of a twat, burst free.
"Oi!" Sirius shouted, running over and yanking out his wand, not caring if Pince assigned him detention for the rest of his life or not, "get away from him!"
Pete turned to him, his eyes wide and scared, and Sirius saw nothing but red. He switched his wand to his left hand without thinking and punched with his right. Gifford Goyle, who was more rock formation than boy, fell against the nearest stack of shirtless, headless men who looked like Sirius assumed Caradoc Dearborn looked without clothes.
"Yeah, leave me alone!" Pete said unexpectedly. His voice was shrill, but Sirius would generously leave that part out of the story later when reenacting Pete's moment of triumph to their mates. Pete kicked Marvin Mulcibur in the knee and he fell over with a shriek of pain.
"Boys!" Pince screamed as Sirius was raising his wand, ready to curse these Slytherin slimeballs with all his pent up rage for daring to bully his mate.
"They attacked me, Madam," Pete said at once, "and er. Insulted your book selection."
At that last comment, Pince's face contorted. Mulcibur the Elder and Poncier whimpered from the floor in terror.
"Run," Pete said from the corner of his mouth to Sirius and they did as the pterodactyl shrieks of Pince rang behind them. They ran past Rosemarie, who was red faced and furious, and Genevieve Bletchley and Daisy Parkinson who'd just entered the library.
"Rosemarie Rivers is crying over me still, pass it along to everyone you know," Sirius shouted as they ran past them.
"Er, is she?" Pete panted as they slowed outside the library, both coming to a walk.
"Maybe not," Sirius said, "but she will be, soon."
"She still lying about you?" Pete said sympathetically, "have you made progress on reversing the hex?"
"Never bothered trying," Sirius shrugged, "no one listened to her before, did they?"
"They did," Pete disagreed, "they just didn't care. Made you more of a rebellious bad boy, eh? Girls like that. Er. I heard. James said. I dunno."
"And you listened to James about what girls like?" Sirius said, eyebrows raised. He wiped his hand absentmindedly over his mouth. He tasted strawberry pudding. He resisted the urge to leave Pete in a corridor alone after getting accosted by giant Slytherins and run after Granger to stick his tongue in her mouth again.
"Well he's doing better lately," Pete said, "he even stopped tonguing that pickle!"
Sirius laughed, and then Pete laughed, and then winced, clutching at his ribs. Sirius stopped laughing at once.
"What's that all about?" Sirius demanded, as they stopped next to a statue of a prancing unicorn, " what did they do to you? What do we need to do for revenge?"
"Er. Ah," Pete hedged, his eyes looking shifty.
"What?" Sirius demanded, "what is going on with you? Listen, I'm sorry I've been distracted lately. I keep meaning to pry it out of you. You're not yourself lately."
Pete looked up at him, eyes wet.
"I'll kill them," Sirius said incoherently, the red rage overtaking him, even when he'd just been thinking of snogging Granger again. He turned around, Pince be damned, ready to pound a Slytherin or two into ooze. They'd match Snivellus that way, anyway.
"No," Pete said, grabbing his arm, "they didn't do anything. Well they did, but it was my fault."
"What are you talking about?" Sirius snarled, "we worked on this, Worms! Stop apologizing and feeling bad about yourself, you're a great bloke–"
A tear fell from Pete's eye and Sirius, perversely, got madder.
"I'll kill them with my bare hands," he vowed, "I won't use one of the curses the hag taught me. Too fast a death."
"Your mum taught you at least a thousand illegal hexes," Pete said, wiping furiously at his face.
"Exactly," Sirius said, rolling up his sleeves, "and I don't even need them! I'll just smash in their faces with–"
"No Sirius, just listen!" Pete said, loudly, and Sirius was so surprised at Peter Pettigrew telling him no, and in a loud voice at that, that he stopped dead in his tracks. "I just…I never thought it would be you who noticed, is all!"
"Noticed what?" Sirius said slowly, "stop crying, Pete! You know I'm the wrong one to do this in front of. Find James next time, he's better at feelings and stuff."
James was pathetic at feelings, but it was still true.
"Or Remus. Remus won't know what to do either, but he'll at least pat you on the hair while handing you some chocolate. I'm not built for this, you know! I was raised by two demons without souls. What do I know about being comforting and all that bollocks?" he shifted awkwardly.
It was true. He was godawful at being sympathetic, or kind, or a good listener. Sirius was built for revenge beatings, and dirty hexes, and mocking someone until they were two inches tall in public.
Pete smiled a watery smile.
"I know," he said, "that's why it means more to me."
"Eh?" Sirius said, "should I get Granger? She might know how to er. Hug or something."
"It's just," Pete said, taking a deep breath, "it was an accident, at first, and then it started snowballing out of control and I thought well surely James will notice and help me get right again, or Remus maybe, and then no one did, maybe Granger kind of did, but then she got the wrong idea is all, and–"
"What was an accident?" Sirius said slowly.
Pete took another huge breath, looking miserable. The tears had dried, at least.
"Over the summer hols I made friends with Evan Rosier and his mates. And ah…they're trying to talk me into joining the Death Eaters, I think."
"What?!"
Lily was sitting in a corner of the Gryffindor common room, pretending to have fun with her classmates and not concern herself with James Potter, who was staring at her like she'd murdered his pet dog. It was easy enough, to fake laugh and recross her legs and shake her hair about like an idiot, Potter looking more miserable by the second, if only she didn't feel like she was getting stabbed in the gut every second.
Helena was saying something, but Lily didn't hear it.
"What?" she said blankly, then fake laughed again.
"You sound unhinged," Sarah said, frowning at her potions essay. No one ever could understand how Sarah could pay attention to her schoolwork in a loud room. It was a gift they all wished they had.
Lily giggled for show again, recrossing her legs. She tried not to think of how Regulus Black had smiled at her all day whenever she'd spotted him. She tried not to think about his nervous first kiss, or the way Sev had lost his mind after class when she told Potter she'd been kissing other boys and Lily had yelled back at Sev even louder, or how Potter was acting like she was a puppy murderer. It was fine. Lily was fine. It wasn't like she'd snogged Vernon Dursley, for god's sake!
"You look like you have an infection," Amelia murmured, and Lily stopped messing about with her legs at once.
"A what?'' Donna said blankly, turning from the radio she was fiddling with.
"I said," Helena repeated, looking annoyed that no one was paying attention, "Hermione Granger just arrived from her mysterious week-long menstrual absence, and she looks…ah…" the girls craned their heads in unison.
Hermione was wild-eyed, even for her, as she practically sprinted from the portrait hole to the girl's stairwell. She was scratching at her own mouth like she was trying to claw off her lips. A tuft of curly hair was on her collar, like she'd yanked it out of her scalp.
"What the–" Lily said, her false smile dropping.
"Oi! Best gal pal!'' James Potter shouted so loudly the entire common room flinched. Lupin sighed and put earmuffs on, then went back to a book. Hermione gave up all pretense and started running, yanked open the door to the girl's dormitories as Potter ran after her, and slammed it shut behind her before he could follow.
"Dammit!" Potter bellowed, "Moo-Remus, where's my bloody broom? Remus!"
"How to Keep Your Sanity When Your Friends Are Lunatics," Sarah read out loud the title on Lupin's book. "huh. Think something's up with Potter's crew?"
"Always," Helena said.
Lily watched as Potter ran off, presumably to get a broom and fly it illegally into the girls dorm, right in everyone's face even though he was Head Boy. Lily sighed, and forced herself to her feet. Well. It wasn't like her show of fun had actually been fun.
"I suppose it's my duty as Head Girl to find out what's going on," Lily said, trying not to look too excited by a distraction in her increasingly terrible life.
Lily leapt up before Potter could come back.
"I'm sure Granger's fine," Sarah said, bewildered, "she's always doing weird–" the door cut off her comment, and Lily sprinted up the stairwell. She had to drag Granger out of their dorm before Potter–
"Fuck!" she uncharacteristically shouted, for Potter was leaping through the window and sauntering over to Hermione's bed, where she'd pulled the curtains.
"If you insist," Potter winked, making a game attempt at one of his charming smiles.
Lily hated herself that it was charming. She forced herself to look bored.
"Potter, get out or I'm giving you detention, Head Boy or not."
"Bah," Potter said, waving a hand as he stalked over to Hermione's bed like he owned the girls dorm, "like I don't already have three weeks straight of detentions. Nothing new for–" he yanked the hangings. Hermione was shouting at her cat, but they couldn't hear a word. Or perhaps she hadn't cast a hex, and was just making faces like she was silently shouting? It was a toss up which was crazier.
"Er," Potter said, darting a look at Lily, "does she…do this often?"
"Maybe," Lily blinked, for Hermione was still shouting, her back half to them, but her giant orange cat blinked at them lazily, "Um, Hermione? Everything ok?"
"Who've you been kissing?" Potter said from the corner of his mouth. Like she had the first twelve thousand times he'd asked her, Lily ignored him. "Was it Regulus? It wasn't Sniv–Snape. He's not that good at acting. Or at anything, really. It wasn't Sirius, was it? Was it? I know he's dreamy, but–"
"I've been kissing your dad," Lily said, "Hermione? Can you hear me?"
The girl in question turned to glare at them. Her mouth had human claw marks on it. Potter yelped, and then turned it into a cough. Hermione waved her wand, and her voice returned.
"What?" she asked rudely, "I'm on my period. Ask Uncle Al. I can't be bothered right now."
"Ah, good old Aunt Flo," Potter said, with the knowledgeable air of a teenage boy who had recently acquired his first friend that was a girl, "the old crimson wave. The full moon time, if you will. Mermaid dunking. Flogging the scarlet dragon."
"You know that won't work on me, right?" Lily said, continuing her quest to ignore Potter. He wasn't even being charming now! Just because he was funny, to some, certainly not to her–
"I don't know what you mean," Hermione lied, petting her cat with a glower at nothing, "I'm suffering here, my uterus–"
"Contracting like a bastard, eh?" Potter nodded, "want some more chocolate?"
"I've still got some left, James, thanks," Hermione sighed, patting a giant box next to her bed.
Lily fought to retain her carefully bored expression. And they had both claimed to her that they felt nothing for each other! That the kiss was all Sev's fault, like he'd taken both of their tongues between his hands and shoved them together himself!
"Hermione, I am also a witch," Lily said, pulling herself together with effort, "I, of all people, know that there are at least five different ways to cure a wretched menstrual cycle. What's really going on?"
Her shoulders slumped. "Order business."
"But you've been eating the chocolate anyway?" Potter said solicitously, "it should still help!"
"It is," Hermione said, reaching for a piece and offering one to James and Lily in turn. Lily took a cherry cordial.
"So, what happened, then?" she asked, "Order stuff you can't tell us about?"
"Lily's been kissing boys," Potter said out of the other corner of his mouth, the one closer to Hermione, "I've been trying to talk to you about it for ages! Is it Snape? Did she tell you who–?"
"I can hear you, Potter," Lily said, through her chocolate, striving to remain bored on the outside. The opposite of love wasn't hatred. It was apathy. And she was done letting anyone know how James Potter affected her so easily.
"She's allowed to kiss people, James," Hermione snapped, "look at what you did the other day! Right in front of her!"
"I can hear you too," Lily said, reaching for another chocolate with a resigned sigh.
Potter sat on Granger's bed with a crunch of nutty chocolate in his stupid teeth.
"So who mauled you?" Potter asked, "Sirius will be jealous!"
Granger went red as Sluggy walking up a stairwell.
"No," Lily said, voice hushed.
"Yes!" Potter yelped, jumping to his feet with a face splitting grin, "don't tell me! He took our advice and gave you a good kiss this time! Finally!"
"Our advice?" Lily protested pointedly.
"Not you," Potter said, dancing about, "you've been too busy snogging Regulus Black."
Lily unexpectedly went red as well, the first time she'd given it away when Potter had sprung it on her, and thank god, no one noticed. Hermione was shoving multiple pieces of chocolate in her mouth now, and Potter was skipping in circles and giggling.
"So, how was it? Better, right? I told you he knew what he was doing!"
Hermione had a look in her eye. It was a look Lily recognized. It said, "I have kissed a boy and made a huge mistake because he's awful and will now lie about it."
"Don't lie if you did it," Lily warned, "not if the kiss was with Sirius Black. One of his stalkers surely spotted you, and will be telling the whole school no matter what you say. He's surveilled at all times."
"Is he?" Potter blinked, looking disturbed.
"Yes," Lily said, "I don't even know if he notices or cares."
Hermione slumped to her bed with a groan.
"We were spotted," she said into a pillow, "it wasn't what it looked like, but she still–"
"By who?" Potter said, trying to subdue his shite eating grin and failing.
"Rosemarie Rivers," Hermione said glumly, and Potter's smile was wiped clear off his face.
"Bloody hell, not her," he said, alarmed, "did she–what happened? She's hexed him, you know?"
"What happened is I'm an idiot and I'm going to have to get myself expelled so I don't deal with the fallout," Hermione said, "I know how this goes. I'll be the school pariah. Worse than before, even." Her cat jumped on her stomach, purring.
"Have another chocolate," Lily said grimly, picturing the beautiful and popular sixth year Ravenclaw who hid her vicious streak very well, but maybe not well enough.
"Give me my broom, Remus!" Sirius shouted, making a jump for it. Remus shoved him with the werewolf strength and he went flying. "That's cheating, and you know it!"
"Just leave them alone," Remus said, "look, James is there and all!"
"I know he is!" Sirius said, as Pete wrung his hands nervously behind them, for once not making a sound, "who do you think I'm trying to get?"
"What?" Remus said, "dammit Pads, you snapped the spine of my book!"
Sirius glanced at the title and his irritation, as it constantly did, grew.
"This is important!" Sirius said, "I'm not joking, Moony!"
"James told me while you were trying to find her on the map," Remus said, "and Pete said you kissed her, and Rosemarie told her a load of bunk about your breakup, and made it sound like you're using girls for ah…ungentlemanly pursuits, and now–"
"I told you!" Sirius snarled, leaping on Remus's back and then getting flung off again with a yelp, "It's bigger than birds! We need James, now!"
"Pads, you really do yourself no favors," Remus sighed, "making it sound like girls aren't important, it kind of makes you sound like Rosemarie has a point, you know?"
"Worms is being recruited by Death Eaters!" Sirius bellowed. Pete cringed into the wall. Remus dropped the broom with a thunk, and Sirius snatched it up.
"What did you say?" Remus said quietly.
Pete looked like he wanted to die when Remus turned to look at him.
"You alright, Worms?" Remus said, white faced, "did they make you–"
Pete burst into tears. Remus's face contorted into the same confused and constipated expression Sirius assumed he'd had earlier, when Pete had needed comforting.
"Er, there there," Remus said, stiffly patting Pete on the head, "I've got a bar of chocolate." He pulled it out from his robe pocket. "Will that help?"
"Yes," Pete said through tears. Downstairs, they could hear the strains of wizard rock and roll. A typical Friday night in Gryffindor tower.
"Right," Sirius said, lunging for the window, not even pausing for a moment of triumph for being right about Remus's awkward attempts at comfort, "that's it. We need James. He'll know what to do."
He jumped out the window, felt the swoop in his stomach that always came when doing such a dangerous maneuver on a broom and steadied his flight, zipping over to the seventh year girl's window James had left conveniently open. He flew through at once, and spotted James lounging on Granger's bed with a box of chocolates on his stomach, Evans prissily sitting on a nearby chair with her legs and arms crossed. Granger was feverishly digging through her trunk.
"Oh good, it's you," James said easily, through a mouth of chocolate, "we were just talking about you!"
"Everyone is talking about me lately," Sirius said, remembering Dearborn saying the same thing to him.
"All the time," James quipped.
"Not you flying in here too," Evans sighed, pinching her brow, "neither of you are supposed to be in here, you know! I'm Head Girl, I'm going to have to take–"
"We're leaving don't worry," Sirius said at once, and Granger froze, not raising her head from the trunk. Half of Sirius felt an urge to walk over to her and snog her in front of Evans and James. The rest of him snapped out of it. Hormones were distracting. He needed to focus. "Now, James!"
"Eh?" James said, popping another chocolate in his mouth, his other hand petting the ginger beast that looked to Sirius with half closed, contented eyes. "Pads, I was just telling the gals here that Rosemarie hexed you, it's not your fault, whatever she said about you."
"Who cares?" Granger snarled, resuming her frantic throwing of items out of her trunk, a sock hitting Evans in the leg, "that's not what this is about, James! I don't have time for teenage nonsense!"
"I agree," Sirius said, "that's why I'm here."
Granger's hands trembled, and she paused once more before flinging away a jumper and still refusing to look at Sirius. Great. Bloody great. She better not have overheard what Rosemarie had said about Sirius using Granger because she was ugly, and half the school was laughing at her for being Sirius's toy. But he could deal with it later. More important things were on his mind.
"I don't know what Regulus told you, but it was just for fun!" Evans said out of nowhere, her voice high pitched.
"Aha!" James shouted, sitting up rapidly, the chocolates flying, "I knew it! You're snogging that little lizardfish, and my best gal pal is snogging Sirius! You're like, kissing buddies or something, snogging a pair of brothers!" The two birds in the room looked at each other. Sirius saw that Granger had red marks on her face, like someone had clawed her with their nails.
"What the bloody hell happened to you?" he demanded, "you know what, nevermind. Fine, James, if you are making me say this in front of them. Since Evans is apparently trying to turn my brother from evil or whatever, let's all chat about how Pete is being manipulated by Death Eaters to join them."
Something broke in Granger's hands. James fell off the bed. The cat jumped on Evans and she shrieked.
"Who recruited him?" Granger said, looking at Sirius full on now, her voice eerily calm.
"Evan Rosier and Gifford Goyle, among others," Sirius said, "why? Don't tell me you knew about this!"
"No," Granger said, voice even, "of course not." But as usual, she was lying.